He was falling again. Once, he'd have asked if he was dying. Not that he minded. Not really. Not if it meant getting back to his parents, meant that he could stop destroying everything he touched. Everything he loved. But even as fresh grass pulled up beneath his feet, he thudded to the ground like a rock, feet drawn to his chest.

"Wei Ying," a husky voice whispered, "We've talked about this," gilt eyes stared back at him, lilting slightly.

"None of that is your fault,"

But it sure felt like it.

But he didn't say it out loud. Instead, all he whispered was, "I know." Ignoring the pleas in the other boy's eyes, he turned away. That doesn't mean it feels true. He let his fingers brush against the glass blades, ignoring the pain that seared through his back, ignoring the tiny nicks against his skin. Grey eyes watched with vague interest as crimson beads welled up on pale fingers, trickling down his thumb slowly. "I thought they'd be redder somehow," Wei Wuxian whispered absentmindedly, "not purplish."

The other boy bit back a scoff, itching to grab his hands from him, hold them, if it meant he'd stop hurting himself. Some part of his mind knew it likely didn't hurt that much, but the other half told him they were reminders to Wei Wuxian, a way of telling himself that it was his fault. That he deserved the pain, no matter what others said.

No matter what I say.

The silver boy in front of him reminded him of another, except where silver eyes lay, the other boy was all ruby. His eyes glittered like a gemstone, the same way his heart did. Scarlet and pulsing, the same way people imagined Satan's eyes to be, but there was something beautiful about them that Lan En couldn't place his hands on, couldn't fathom, and he felt pulled all the more to it.

Wei Wuxian reminded him of that boy, but somehow different. As if Life took a printer and tried to copy him, only he ran out of the same colours and had to use different ones to create him. Loyal to a fault, doubtful of themselves, but there was something about Wei Wuxian that was different, somehow. The Wei Yang he knew would never have made the same choices he did, over and over again.

Somehow, that made it hurt more.

By now, Wei Ying stared out blankly, turning over the grass blade in his hands. "Aren't we supposed to start training again?"

Is that what you want? Of course, Wei Wuxian would say that. With a half-hearted smile, Lan En replied, "Not today. Today, you're talking to me."

The other boy turned away, brushing his fingers over the grass again. Grey wisps gathered beneath his fingertips, scorching whatever it touched, however slight. You destroy everything you touch, a voice in Wei Ying's mind whispered. You destroy everything.

He blinked slightly at them, biting back the flinching. It felt like a lash against his skin, bittersweet and searing. A false smile twisted on his lips, dripping off like false honey. There was no point in pretending here, he knew. Lan En knew him too well. But that didn't mean he never tried. "What's there to talk about? There isn't really anything new, is there?"

Jie. Di. The words echoed through his mind, and he felt his heart stutter for a moment, one step away from drifting off the cliff and shattering to the ground. The pain shot through him again, and though he knew the other could read right through him, he couldn't help but laugh softly, his heart twisting. There's nothing more funny than heartbreak. Nothing is more hopeless. And it's all my fault.

Everything is my fault. There isn't anything real about me, is there? In Wei Ying's mind, there were some people made to create, made to feel joy, and there were some people meant to destroy. Some were a perfect combination of both, but Wei Ying couldn't help but feel useless. He craved the image of his smiling sister, of amethyst eyes looking at him, smiling. For meaningless banter, tiny jabs, all in the name of loving because they knew they never meant each other harm. He missed all of that, and hell, it hadn't even been a day. How long will it be, he wondered, until I get to see you again?

See you guys again.

Wei Ying sighed. Letting the blade of grass fall. He watched in mild interest as it drifted to the ground, leaving the cuts on his skin. Beside him, he felt the grass shifting. Pale emerald robes rustled beside him, alerting him to Lan En's presence. "Don't give me that, Wei Wuxian. You know it never works. What's on your mind?"

Everything.

Nothing.

Maybe?

"I don't know, " his breath skittered across the surface of his skin, like a lake. "I'm not sure what's happening."

The swirls of grey beneath his fingertips grew darker as he spoke, and he couldn't explain the urge he had to burn something. To destroy something, even if all he destroyed, in the end, was himself.

Gilt eyes watched him carefully, sensing his anxiety. "Tell me the first thing that comes to mind,"

"It doesn't matter what it is."

Wei Ying hesitated before he spoke. "I'm leaving the Jiang Mansion. More like the family," he laughed softly, "and it's all my fault."

At this, Lan En snapped up. "What...happened?"

"Yu Ziyuan happened," he replied simply.

"I was on a mission she set me on. I was this close to apprehending the target until she walked in." He pinched his fingers close together, before going back to talking. "Then everything went down."

Silver eyes glanced up for a while to meet pleasing gold, before glancing away again. By now, the grey shadows in his palms were almost onyx, and he could only lift them up, letting them gather up into a swirling ball. Control, a voice whispered. You can do this.

Gods. You know we're right next to each other, right? There's no need for you to tell me this in my head.

A pause.

I prefer it this way.

Wei Wuxian gave up, shaking his head.

So what happened?

"Didn't I just tell you?"

Didn't finish.

Fine.

"It just so happened that the whole mission was a ploy. The target was one of her minions this whole time. She tried to threaten me into leaving quietly without anything, or she'd kill me. "

And you agreed?

"Somewhat...I refused it for nothing. I told her that if she wanted me to leave, she'd give me five million and my family's legacy back, or she could try me."

"What did she choose?" He finally spoke.

Wei Ying leaned back, propping himself up against the rock. "Well, I'm still here, aren't I? I just...really miss them."

"It's been less than a day," Wei Ying bristled at that. The sky above him swirled in truth, azure blue blinding his eyes. "I know, it's just..."

"I don't know when I'll get to see them again. It's not like I can scuttle back now."

"Why did you leave, then?" Lan En's voice was soft, though there wasn't any spite or resentment in them. Just curiosity. Still, it stung.

"We both know she'd have found a way to chase me out eventually. At least I get something out of it," he smiled bitterly, hurling the orbs in his hands against the tree, watching it smoulder before disappearing. "They weren't even my "real" family, anyways. It shouldn't hurt like this."

But it did, and they both knew he was lying. Lan En inched forward, moving closer to him. Strong fingers threaded through his, ignoring the pain as the heat of his palm scalded him. "Family doesn't have to be blood to be real. We both know that. And they were your family as much as your parents were."

Wei Wuxian flipped over, propping himself up on his elbows. "I know," he let his loose hand drift over the wildflowers again. "I just...don't really wanna think about it."

"I just kind of wonder, you know? If things are better this way."

Lan En raised an eyebrow, brushing a stray strand of hair away from his face. "Better how?"

"I don't know," Wei Wuxian plucked the flower, playing with its soft petals absentmindedly, "it's just...I destroy everything I touch, what if I destroyed them eventually? Maybe it's better for me to leave earlier, let them hurt earlier, so they won't be that badly destroyed by me."

At this, Lan En rolled his eyes. "That's bullshit," he intoned. "And you know it."

"Maybe," Wei Wuxian muttered absentmindedly, "but it sure as hell feels like it."

"That doesn't mean it's true."

"It feels true to me."

"How can one speak his own truth, without knowing what it is?"

Fingers brushed against Wei Ying's jaw, pulling them towards him so that their eyes met. "Look at me, Wei Wuxian. Just because it feels that way doesn't always mean it's true. It could be true to you, of course. But you did what's right for you. And by some extension, what's right for them. Don't get me wrong, we all make wrong choices, and it doesn't mean that you can't, too. But you didn't have much of a choice, and you did the best that you could with it. That's what matters."

" We do what we can with what we have, that's all."

"But what if I really destroy everything I touch? I know this will hurt them, and I really don't wanna see them hurt..." Silver eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Lan En couldn't help but squeeze his hand.

"Leaving will always hurt. Whether it hurts you or them. But Yu Ziyuan didn't tell you you couldn't contact them, did she?"

Wei Ying swallowed." Not exactly, but it was implied."

"Implications don't mean anything in this," an impish smile appeared on Lan En's face. "Not yet, anyway. You can still text them or talk to them if you want,"

"Though I can't promise you can do that tomorrow. But even if you can't...there's nothing she said about code, did she?" At this, silver eyes lit up.

"No she didn't - that means I can actually find a way to talk to them through code without breaking whatever she set! I'll tell her to change whatever it is to 'not a single word', and then I can try the rest of it out."

Pale lips curved into a small smile. "Bingo," he whispered. "And I mean what I said. To finish off: You're not a mistake, Wei Wuxian. You're one of the brightest souls I've ever seen. You're capable of more than you imagine. And what does it matter if you're only good at destruction? Sometimes people need to destroy things in order to create, and I can promise you there is much more to you than simply destruction."

Wei Ying felt his throat go dry, tears welling up beneath his eyes. The words sent something spiralling through him, like a warm cup of chocolate on a cold winter day, or a salve to the gaping wound on his heart. Some part of his mind yelled that maybe that wasn't true, but the majority just told him to believe, at least for now.

Hold on to this for now. "Thank you," he croaked.

"There's nothing to thank me for. I'm simply stating the truth. Someday you'll come to realise that the moment you believe in yourself, is the moment you need to start living. You're more capable than you know."

Wei Wuxian flung himself into the other's chest, hugging him tightly. The other boy laughed softly at the sudden movement. Warm arms circled his waist, pulling him closer as he petted his back. "You'll be okay, " Lan En muttered, his voice as soft as the breeze. "You'll be okay, mm? All you have to do is just believe. I'll be there with you every step of the way. You can do this."

"I believe in you," Wei Wuxian let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and Lan En breathed out a sigh of relief.

"I'll be okay," he whispered, mostly to himself, repeating the words in his heart over and over again like a mantra. I'll be okay. There in Lan En's arms, he felt safe, the way he hadn't been for a long, long time. It was almost like having a family again.

And behind them, the sun began to set, in shades of swirling pink and lilac, mixed with blue, like the splashes of paint against a blank canvas, as the day reset itself again.

Everything will be okay.

Even if it doesn't feel that way. 

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A/N: 2130 words! Heck, I think this is one of the lines chapters in this book so far...how did you guys find it? I hope you enjoyed it...this might be the latest update for a while, because I have my exams coming up soon, and a whole load of...well, other things happening in the background. masked8. Here's part of the scene completed, I guess- and chocolatewithtea. dadavenport. PrivateCitizen. Do any of the names sound familiar?

Thank you guys so much for reading, feel free to comments- *hugs tightly* until next time!