Home. Wei Wuxian had long forgotten what it was like or how it felt. Once upon a time, home was that little house on the hill, overlooking the beach. In the back of his mind, he remembered the warmth of the sun, the hint of sea salt in the robes he burrowed into. The sound of idyllic laughter, loud and clear against the soft murmurs of the sea. Remembered loving hands wrapped around him, hoisting him up onto a hard shoulder. The feel of wood in his hands, hacking softly at trees. His father's deep chuckles sent him trembling, like an earthquake beneath his feet, bringing a joyful smile to his face. Silly child, he heard his mother say, but there was no bite to her voice, simply affection, carefree child. Mama and Baba love you so much, you know?

I know, mini Wei Ying giggled, as Cangse Sanren attacked him with tickles, A-Ying loves you guys too.

And that was that. How I wish I could go back to that time, he thought, mouth twisting into a half smile. If only I was three again.

If I got them back.

But he didn't.

He still remembered the day they left. He was five. Remembered the tears on his mother's face as she held him tightly, held him close, for the last time. She cradled him close to her heart, as she'd done a million times before, but even younger Wei Ying could tell something was wrong. Maybe the tears gave her away, maybe it was the darkening in her eyes, the dimming. The creases of worry that lined her face, the way she wore her robes, shoulders back and proud. Like a warrior, he thought. Not that he'd known any of that, then. All he'd wanted to do was go home, go home with Mama and Baba, instead of being in the middle of nowhere with grandma he barely knew.

"A-Ying, Mama and Baba are going away for a while. We'll come back soon, okay?"

Wei Ying nodded softly, letting her warmth seep into his skin. Silently, he grabbed her robes, clutching onto them as if his life depended on it. "Where are you going?"

Cangse tried to muster a smile, before giving up and tucking a strand of loose black her behind his ear. "We're not sure yet, A-Ying,"

Footsteps thudded softly, alerting them to Changze's presence. Cangse looked up, a weak smile plastered across her face when she looked at her husband. You could see how much she loved him, just by looking at her eyes. For a moment, he leaned against the door, smiling. He gulped down the scene before him, the same way a thirsty man did right before a drought, not knowing when the next sip of water would be.

When the next time they were back together would be.

"Baba! Come here!" Younger Wei Ying waved his hands around excitedly, whatever fear he had forgotten. Wei Changze looked to his wife, who nodded slowly. Smiling, he walked towards A-Xian, bending down to kiss his wife on the cheek before moving to pinch Wei Ying's cheeks. The little boy giggled gleefully, eyes sparkling with joy before his mind went back to curiosity.

"Baba, where are you going?"

At that, Wei Changze paused, hesitating before he continued. "A-Ba doesn't know yet, A-Ying. But Mama and Baba will come back as soon as we can, ok?"

A-Ying pouted for a moment, huffing playfully, before asking "Then...when will Mama and Baba be back?"

"Baba and Mama might be gone for a long time, Baobao. But we'll be back when we can. In the meantime, be a good boy, okay? Follow your heart the best you can, and don't stop to think if you're doing something right. Baba and Mama love you, and will always support you, even if we're not here."

Not here? Why..."Do Mama and Baba not want me anymore?" Wei Ying looked down, silver eyes downcast. Cangse glanced at her husband, raising her eyebrows for a moment, before turning back to their son.

"It's not like that, A-Ying. Baba and Mama will always want you, but for now, we can't be physically here. But we'll always be with you," she tapped the left side of his chest, where his heart is. "In here, okay? We'll always be with you there. If you ever feel afraid, remember that. Mama and Baba have a few things for you, mnn?"

She pressed a tiny bundle covered in cloth into his fingers. He stared at it in awe. "What is it?"

"Open it, Baobei."

So he did. Under the wraps of silk, there lay two pendants. There was one in the shape of a fox, the other in the shape of a bunny. The bunny was carved of onyx, he was sure. He loved the way tumbled stone felt against his skin, the way it gleamed in the candlelight. But if the rabbit pendant was pretty, the fox pendant was utterly stunning. It was carved from moonstone, glowing in the dull light of the moon, that shifted through the windowpanes. Little him held it up, admiring the way the light danced in its edges, a purplish hue to the stone. In the tiny parcel, held a silver chain. Tiny fingers fumbled with the chain, struggling to thread it. Smiling softly, Cangse took the chain, threading it through the pendants, before placing it around his neck.

"My A-Ying looks so pretty! A-Ma and A-Ba want you to keep this safe, okay? Wear it at all times."

Now, Wei Wuxian wanted to ask why, but the chance had long since slipped away. Then, all he did was cradle the pendants in his hands, just as he did now.

You'll find out when the time comes, something in his mind whispered, sounding suspiciously close to the soothing voice his mother had, even if it was made of wildfire.

Everything takes time.

The familiar weight of the pendants pressed into his hands again, distracting him from the barrage of thoughts running through his mind. He played with the chain, letting them dangle from his fingers, glittering just as they'd done so many years ago. A small smile crept over his face as he slipped the chain on, letting the weight of them settle against his chest. Somehow it felt different, as compared to so long ago. Then, it felt lighter, light something to protect, not like it was now. Now it felt like something to lose, just like the faded ribbon in his hands, still stained with blood. Mama's ribbon. Wei Ying clutched it tightly, letting his magic do the rest of the work. His room had never been neat, scattered with art supplies and books, though he always did his laundry. Still, he wouldn't need them yet, not now. For now, all he needed to take were the things that meant the most to him. The first book Jiang Fengmian had ever given him, the letters and gifts Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng had given to him over the years, all in place, packed into his bag. He had no doubt he'd end up swearing later when he had to unpack everything, or crying. His eyes scoured over the room, taking in the familiar mahogany bookshelves, the familiar mess on the table, the crumpled bedsheets. I... is this really happening? Even with the bag in his hands, fabric rubbing against his skin, half of his mind wanted someone to shake him, wake him up, and tell him that this was all a dream. A flurry of faces ran through his mind, tumbling in and out of his sight, and for a moment he could imagine Shijie beside him, offering him a bowl of Lotus-Rib soup, or Jiang Cheng playfully bickering with him.

I'm losing this, he thought. Losing them. Am I going home, this time?

Probably not.

But I'll be back.

Right?

The few steps to the door proved to be a challenge. Wei Ying doubted his steps had ever been heavier, trudging out of the door. He passed by the familiar room, doors invitingly open, and he wished for a moment, that Jiang Yanli was here. That he could run up to her and tell her everything, or curl up beside her and just cry. Be weak, even if it was just for a moment. But with Yu Ziyuan...One step at a time, he reminded himself. Still, every step felt like a chore, the memories pounding through his mind like whispered promises, long forgotten and shattered. The more his mind churned, the more reluctant he was to leave, toying with the fraying edge of his backpack. It didn't take long, though, for memories of yelling to take over. Memories of screaming, of harsh lashes mixed with the memories of warm hugs and mirthful laughter.

His feet guided him when his heart couldn't, and he soon found himself standing on the edge of the door. Breath, A-Ying. You can do this. He stilled himself, mustering up as much courage as he could. You can do this. One more step and this nightmare will be over. So were his dreams of them, he knew. But now wasn't the time to think about that. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out.

The gates swung shut behind him, creaking in its antiquity.

And he was free. 

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A/N: 1550 words! This week's update...is kind of late, I think? I'm honestly not sure how it is, but I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.  thank you guys so much for getting me to a 100 reads! ❤️ *Happy dances in the background*
Feel free to comment, and tell me what you think of this chapter! ❤️ Until next time!