15. She Was His First.

"VIRAT SEEMS NICE," Nikita remarked, slightly smiling to herself as she applied another coat of nail-polish to her toe.

"Mm, he is nice," I corrected her, burying my face into the pillow. To say that I was exhausted would be a massive understatement, for I have been clicking pictures under the sun for a time which seemed more than eternity. "But wait... why are you suddenly so interested in Virat, huh?"

It was simpler to say Nikita and Virat's proximity didn't matter to me at all but even I knew it was a far cry from the truth. If anything, I hated that I loved Virat and not Advay, and that was enough to blur the lines when it came anything regarding to my love life.

I peeked at her from the corner of the pillow. She sat down on the bed, adjacent to me, her eyes spinning around to finally settle at me. "We've been talking a lot lately and I think he's into --"

"You? Yeah, he totally is." I was sure Nikita didn't like the sound of it as it came across a rude, contemptuous scoff. 

"No, Anushka! I mean, I don't know. But he talks to me about you. I think he's into you," she chuckled dryly.

"I mean, seriously? You think? He cannot be into me, he shouldn't be into me. I'm with Advay, remember?" I told her, flashing my engagement ring. "And moreover, I know he likes you."

"Really?" Nikita giggled. "Uh huh, we'll see about that tomorrow. But I seriously can't believe Arista and Abeer are going for renewal of their vows. Such a cliche." 

I couldn't believe at it too. Their wedding was a very important event for me. I still stupidly smile to myself when I reminisced how Virat had entered the church that night, with the old famous dialogue.

There was something so incredible and so magical about the time we spent in Rome.

The way how I tossed a poker chip, wishing for him to get his true love. It was kind of ironical that every time he was getting a step closer to his love, I was getting two steps far from it.

"But you know what, I'm really glad I've got friends like you, Virat, Abeer. Without you guys, I must have been a broke after what Nikhil did." Her words clogged my throat, I couldn't show her I was going for a long guilt-trip for this. I rose up to a sitting position beside her. In my story, the fact that I made Nikita and Nikhil break up seemed my greatest hamartia -- and if either Nikita or Virat ever come to know about it, the resurrection after the fall was only inevitable.

But then the guilt still overpowered my senses when I muttered a soft, "I'm sorry."

The words didn't go unnoticed by Nikita. "For what?"

With flushed cheeks, I was haphazardly coiffing my hair into the bun. My senses were on alarm when I realized the truth could break our life-long friendship.

So I just shook my head and smiled, "Nothing. So are you over Nikhil?"

"You never get over true love that easy. Even if it's poisonous."

I couldn't help but smile. After all, who would know it better.

•••

STANDING IN FRONT OF ME was the bride, Arista. She threw me a tentative look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting mine. I thought she felt the uncomfortable spell between us because her lips quirked up in a seemingly forced smile that dwindled away in the next second. We were at the banquet hall which swarmed with all sorts of people.

With my lack of expertise in socialization, my throat tightened as it always did in uncomfortable situations. Arista and I never liked each other, and it was only a matter of time both of us knew that. "Congrats," I told her as an afterthought, and it was the only word I could utter out before a pair of strong arms wrapped around my tiny frame, and practically knocked the breath out of me.

"Abeer, you're suffocating me." I heaved into his chest. He seemed to pay no attention to my jagged breaths, tightening his grip around my waist for a few more minutes before releasing me.

"That's what you bloody get for acting like a weirdo on phone and not seeing me for so long." He said, jabbing me in the shoulder blade.

"Really? A near death experience?" I deadpanned.

Unexpectedly, Virat came strutting in small steps and drooped his head low enough for his lips to level with my ear, "You look beautiful and he's just jealous that his bride doesn't match up to you." 

I turned my gaze towards him, narrowing my eyes at him. "So that's the pick up line you're going to use on Nikita?"

"Okay, it's better if we leave you two alone. We have to rehearse for our dance anyway." Abeer sighed, making  a beeline to the stage. With one last smile thrown at me, Arista also followed Abeer wordlessly.

I heard Virat sigh, "Why do you think everything in my life revolves around Nikita? You matter too, Anushka. A hell lot more than you know."

"I'm sorry," my hands automatically reached up for my ears as I squinted my eyes at him apologetically. "You matter to me too."

"So would you be my first dance then?" He asked, wriggling his eyebrows. I gave him an amused look. I had never been someone's first so it felt a little overwhelming.

It's just a dance, calm your horses right there. "Okay," I just smiled but cocked my head in the direction of Nikita. "You won't dance with her?"

"I will, of course. She is going to be my last dance." Virat gave me a wink, and I just smiled at him weakly while something inside of me disintegrates even more.

"That's so romantic," I told him, desperately trying my best to not stammer.

•••

"THIS IS SO ROMANTIC," I grunted aloud when the vows were done and the first dance began. We were at back corner while Abeer and Arista danced in the center. This was the most romantic one because the couples were tied together with a white drape and then supposed to slow dance.

When my hands were on Virat's chest, I had shortness of breath -- but at the same time it was like the part in my chest which was missing had become a whole. I knew a part of him always wanted him to get under my skin, and just be under it and fill all the gaps and crevices to mold every inch of me, just enough to make me whole again. But for that to happen, first he had to reach me, fill the spaces between us first.

He did that, superficially speaking, as he pulled me closer to him so that I could feel his breathe. "You seem too lost today," he broke the silence between us, and I snapped my gaze up towards him. "Anything wrong between Advay and you?"

At that I just let out a boisterous laugh, "What is it with you men, always giving your own species so much importance."

"Something's definitely wrong with Advay and you, then. What did he do? Didn't accompany you to your hair salon or forgot to compliment you at night. Or wait, did he tell you, you're a bad cook?"

"Virat," I gritted through my teeth, trying to pull up the most serious face I have ever had but failed miserably when I basked into fits of giggles. "It's so cute, right? Getting married and then, your life partner shares all the little things with you. You wake up to see his face in the morning, and maybe take a couple of pictures of his adorable morning face. And he prepares you food. And--"

"-- and you make her every wish come goddamn true and make her feel like a fucking queen. Yes, it's like a dream come true."

Suddenly, I felt guilt washing over me all over again. I had ruined Nikita's happiness for some damn shitty gut feeling of mine. Did this make me a villain in her story? But wouldn't Virat keep her happy? 

Why was it so difficult to configure?

The dance got over a little too soon. I tried untying the drape but it was tied so haphazardly that the knot doesn't get opened easily. Virat breathed out a lengthy sigh, "You cannot even untie a friggin' knot."

I chided innocently, "Why don't you try it then, Mr. I-Can-Do-It-All?" 

He took the knot from me, and untied it in no time. "See, wasn't that hard? Seems like you don't want to let go off me?" A typical boyish smirk covered his lips at which I rolled my eyes.

 About time, Nikita also walked towards us. "You guys look bloody cute when you're bickering!" she laughed, taking the white drape from my hands. 

"Well, um, Niki?" Virat started slowly. "Will you dance with me?"

Nikita flashed him a wide smile, "Of course!" She gladly accepted his hand, and the two of them were set for dance. 

And there I was, left behind once again.