red tears.

You're kind of sour about it. Pissed in what might as well be your own secret special way. You're not going to be a good person, ever. You were the first to fall even if Satan (still a stupid name, you think) says he's the first but you were in Pergatory before that shit went down. Hosting the midway for eons; you get pissy about that sometimes. Half-heart melting in your hands, you ate a black apple when you were small and fragile before they —

(Do you cry —)

You're godless, you know. You're also hanging out with your nephew-brothers today after school. Less brother, more nephew, legally it matters but holy doings are a thing of blood. You know it best. If you could leave you would step on your family, but your blood itsn't red and you can't leave your kin behind like your, ah, classmates can. Like your nephews can, because tainted blood is easier to leave than golden ones, you know it best. No matter how you shift any experienced exorcist (with a decade or more) can tell you're diffrent. You switch their brains up so you pass by like the ghost you are.

(Floating floating floating like a bad omen over the heads; you taste like dry rot, asenic, and menthol spores. Rosemary'll grow out your fucking brain if you stay still too long. You pretend to sleep though, Shima'll get suspicious if you never pass out.)

They're (your nephew, Rin, and that rooster-boy, Sunuru or something) running past each other like they're in a relay or something instead of trying to understand the, hah, reaper. Paku and Izumo are talking shit about them (even though Rin is running as fast as a Wraith) and then — you bust out laughing because Sunuru trips Rin-chan. Shima's staring at you but you don't care. 

You're sour about it. Your brother getting all the glory when you did what he did better. You're sour about that star, because it fell before all of you did, it fell fell fell red and hot and crying like mouths were made.

"Little nephew you're being stupid again." you taunt. He turns at you.

"Stop it with your stupid Dutushu it's dumb!"

"German if you wanna prononce it proper, little nephew."

He spits at you, "Kiliene nefefe. German."

You laugh at him, he's so much fun to taunt you get it now, why they made you freeze and sputter, when you get a reaction your whole head gets fuzzy with somthing that feels like a suns coming out in the morning, the clouds spilling out into nothing but fuzz and shade on a cool Summer afternoon. 

(Ironsalt sits in your pocket like a golden goose-egg. Salty and sour like it was fried in Gehenna, so you've heard.)

"Rin-chan." you say, you smile like he does. "You're the best."

(Izumo does that with the new girl she's running with, which, you think it's a dick move. You're not the best person in the world, but even you think it's unpleasant of her, she should at least fake it, you think, hide it under her skin like a dream; Rin likes that girl, you think, and he could kill her.) 

Then — the teacher leaves. He got a booty call or something, he had to go see his kitten. You don't get why, cats are usually self-sufficient. He tells you all to steer clear of the, hah, reaper.

"Are teachers allowed to do that?" Paku asks. 

"It's unbelievable." Sugaru says.. "And he calls himself a teacher, True Cross is supossed to be this bigshot school where only the highly motivated go, bullshit." he breathes out like a bull. "Even the students suck."

Rin goes back with everything he can muster without his father burning at his skin, its funny, almost, to watch. You could do this all day. "Seriously guy, would you just drop it already?" he glares the same way your brother does (Gabriel, you mean). "I got my reasons being here, how do you know I'm not motivated? Ha?"

Sugaru is pissed by this for a silly human reason and decides that your nephew is a moron, he is correct, but he doen't have to say it. Isolation would be worse, you want to tell him, Rin would drive himself mad if everyone ignored him. "I can tell by the way you act in class!"

"Oh brother." Shima mutters. "Here they go again." 

"You're just a spoiled rich kid gettin' a free ride." he bares out. It makes you wheeze  a little, they turn to you and you look at Rin. 

("That's what you thought of him, dumbass. Don't you see the irony?" you say, but Rin ignores you, which you probably deserve.)

Konekomeru looks like he's on a breakdown in the making. "You're being immature, Bon." So Bon is a nickname, you catalogue. It's still funny, how human they all are. "Just leave him alone!"

(Yamada is staring at you in the corner. You wink at her, you wonder if she's narrowing her eyes under that hood.)

"Shut up!" Sugaru Bon says. "Both of you, I know what I'm doing. You say you're motivated?" He smirks in that human way that means something intresting is going to happen. "Okay, fine." his face goes taunting, the way yours does. "Here's your chance to prove it!"

Rin isn't even looking at him. "Yeah, with what?"

"With that." he points at the, hah, reaper. "If you can touch it—"

Pause, wait, you're offended, does this idiot sized flesh thing not know the complexeties of demon ecosysetems? The fragility that the destroying of a species can do to a level; you went to hell once (to visit Satan — which is still a stupid name, mind you) and even you, Death, Stop Sign of Eternity, Cold Embrace, The Light At the End of the Tunnel, Final Kiss, Let's Drink to Goodbyes, got the fucking memo that you can't wipe out a demon ecosystem or the king of that ring will hunt you down and absolutely decimate you. If you caught someone trying to kill your filing system you might make another plague from the stress. Thatwould be embarassing.

Unpause.

"—without getting attacked, you win."

Rin, the small, stupid boy he is kind of ignores Sugaru Bon.

"When a—" hah, "—reaper looks into your eyes it's gonna read whatever you're feeling." Which isn't actually how it works. It reads the type of emotion for vulnerability purposes. Fear is best (tasting), Anger makes it attack or flee, Jealousy doesn't do anything, because it's a cowards emotion and that means you don't taste good. It ranks under Grief, because some, hah, reapers like the bitter taste of Grief. You hate it, it tastes like blood. Sadness is the most mild flavour, like a bland fruit or hard celery. "—and when you look away, you're dead."

(You get what he's going at, but did they really take your words and twist them that agressively?)

"Because it'll pick that moment to attack."

"No it won't." you say at the same time Rin says, "Fat chance."

Sugaru Bon looks over at you with a glare. "Reapers don't attack if you're jealous or sad, not to kill at least. Those are the most boring tastes to them. Duh."

He ignores you (because you're a ghost, watching this from outside, this mirror is cracked and you're only the reflection, only watch; never to be you are a spector, you are a fallen one from grace, you are DEATH.). 

"The deal is," he says. "if you're serious about becoming an exorcist, you won't loose your cool over a little ole reaper." hah. "If ya' make it back here in one piece it'll prove that you're serious about this exorcist business and I'll leave you alone."

Sugaru Bon grins. "I'll give it a shot too. I'll win, natrually. What'dya say?"

Rin looks down, at his nails all sour. You look at him, he's all like his father, all blue and bitter and crying under his skin. Your brother is a mess, he always was, and you'll never say otherwise because he fell that way, too. He stood for what he thought was right, and at least he doesn't regret it. He passed it to all of them, unfourtunately they're all boring. Well, except—

Do you bleed blue, mister?

He's your favorite. 

(Sometimes, when you were in Bad Wimpfen, in Germany, you'd stare at the stars with the ghost of Ava, imagine she was there to tell you things you already know, the little bits of root and bad stories of boys who died because they didn't bathe and you'd laugh. You would, you didn't then but you think you would if she were there. If anyone was there, but you chose to be alone, and you wanted to be; all star-spangled and dreary. You were so tired. You still are, you're just better at managing it.)

"Sounds like fun," Rin says, but he doesn't look it. He never does. "yeah right! Is taht what you thought I'd say?" He picks the inside of his nose like an asshole, as a taunt. "You think I'm crazy? What if something happens and I get killed?" He looks at his sword, you keep a note of that, too. "'Sides, if we're talkin' ambition, I got the same as you. I'm not gonna rink my life to prove it, though."

Sugaru Bon does that tch, he's pissed as, well, all hell. You lean by Yamada, but you don't say anything. You don't have a real mouth so maybe you should just shut up the one you made of menthol and sugar cane. 

(Your first creation was burnt out because you were too imature for it, you tried to teach that lesson, but you were too angry and people you did not want to kill died, but you did not care. You still don't, but you think that - regret is an old feeling because it is your brothers' first, flashed on his face when he was pushed out of his home, you did not regret becoming you, he might've, though. That's what seperates you from theh devil, you accept this bitter, sludged up hollow in your chest and he burns it out, sets himself on fire, because it will keep coming back if he is alone, if he cries, and you don't know if you can. Your brother is like your father, he is angry.)

Sugaru Bon smells like a pipe dream and salt-water. Like a boy from a run-down temple. Maybe your father hates him, too.

It's ironic, don't you get it? Don't you see mister we're the same, so do you bl—

You're made of menthol and something sour, like spoilt perfume and rasberry tea. You're the skeleton under the floorboards. A secret everybody knows.

(There's a cursed boy walking to his death and you haven't seen one happen right in front of you for decades now. You wish you had popcorn.)

The, hah, reaper is readying for attack and you want to laugh then, out of the sheer, unadulterated bravado that this child has.

"I'm going to defeat Satan!" He says. You have to spit out a chuckle at that. Izumo's cackling covers it from everyone, though (Yamada looks at you like you're cursed, and she's right, she is, she is; you're a ghost you're the Last Call, Last Check on the Bucket List, Last Kiss, Last Breath you are the Last Mentions of an Era, you are AZREAL and your name means the death of eternity).

(Do you bleed blue, mister?)

"Did you hear that?" She says to Paku, eyes raging and taunting and angry.  "He said he's going to defeat Satan? What are you, a child."

(You can smell it, then. Guilt and anger and jealousy, they're like coffe, almost, unripe berries and pumpkin soup, he's going to die, you think, you know, you're death, he reaks of it.)

Then it happens, like a flash from some worn out pipe dream that Sugaru Bon is made from. Your nephew-brother-Rin jumps down and stops the, hah, reaper. He smells like rotten lavender and sulfer when he jumps. Burnt cake and spoilt peaches curl around his open fire mouth and for a second you miss it, blue in your head so loud you're blinded, but the sword is covered and that's what the smell is from. 

Rin is screaming, like he's in a fight again with taht pink-haired fuck from his middle-school. The. hah, reaper jumps back.

Your brother-nephew-Rin-chan says that's he's going to defeat Satan. You laugh, then. Yamada looks at you but you don't care. You're going to kill your brother before they get a chance because it'll be fun; even if you don't, someone else will and in the very least it'll be fun as hell to watch.