for the first time since friday night, hongjoong was able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour tuesday night. when he woke up wednesday morning, he was still hurting, but he had enough of staying home.

hongjoong sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, checking his phone before getting out of bed.

seongie 🧚🏼‍♀️
i hope you answer me one day
sent 10:48 pm

i'll always wait for you, whenever you're ready to talk again i'll be here
sent 11:28 pm

i miss you
sent 12:21 am

you haven't read my messages yet, i hope that means you were able to fall asleep tonight
sent 12:56 am

goodnight
sent 2:59 am

"i miss you too seongie, i miss you too..." hongjoong whispered to himself, holding back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. he rapidly shook his head and threw his phone down, fighting every urge to answer seonghwa's messages. hongjoong knew seonghwa deserved everything he was doing to him, but hongjoong couldn't help the desire he had to talk to the older.

hongjoong turned his head to his door when he heard a little knock. he recognized the knock as jongho's, giving his brother permission to enter his room.

"oh good, you're awake. good morning babe." jongho said calmly, turning on hongjoong's light and sitting next to him on his bed.

"yeah, i was actually able to fall asleep at around ten last night," hongjoong chuckled, "and i really want to go to school today." hongjoong yawned out.

jongho smiled widely, "that's great!"

"but," hongjoong quickly interrupted, "i'm still not talking to seonghwa. don't try to get him to come up to me or to talk to me or anything. i need my space, but i miss my friends." hongjoong spoke firmly, making sure to get his point across to jongho.

"of course, anything you say." jongho put his hands up defensively, promising not to overstep any of hongjoong's boundaries.

jongho stood up from hongjoong's bed and started walking to his door, "but you should definitely get up now, it's getting late. we have to leave in a half an hour." jongho said before exiting the room and closing hongjoong's door behind him.

as hongjoong was about to stand up, he felt his phone buzz. he read the text out loud and sighed, already beginning to regret telling jongho he'd go to school today.

seongie 🧚🏼‍♀️
good morning hongjoong. i hope you come to school today. regardless, have a great day. it's what you deserve
read 6:52 am

——

"joongie! you came to school today!" wooyoung screamed out when he saw the blonde boy walk through the classroom door for the first time since friday. yeosang quickly turned his head towards the boy and smiled, excited to see his friend.

"hi guys." hongjoong weakly responded, taking his usual seat in the classroom.

"i missed you so so much!" wooyoung cheered, running over to hongjoong from his own seat. yeosang also stood up and walked over, sitting on top of hongjoong's desk table.

"i missed you guys too. what has happened since i was last here?" hongjoong asked as he gave his friends a knowing look, hoping they would catch on to his what he meant by his question.

"nothing much in class, you're lucky you missed these past two days. it's been so boring!" wooyoung exclaimed, not catching onto hongjoong's previous look at all. yeosang rolled his eyes and hit the boy lightly on the arm, causing wooyoung to screech out dramatically.

"wooyoung, that's not what he meant! i'm pretty sure he's talking about... you know who." yeosang looked at him wide eyed and hongjoong nodded his head, agreeing with yeosang. wooyoung furrowed his eyebrows, seeming like he was completely lost. he put a finger on his chin, thinking hard about what yeosang meant. suddenly, his eyes lit up and he perked up.

"oh, you meant seonghwa!" wooyoung screamed out a little too loud, earning shushes from both of his friends, "sorry." he whispered, cowering into himself a bit.

"but yeah, i did mean him." hongjoong admitted while looking down at his lap, "have you guys talked to him?" hongjoong asked, a small frown forming on his lips.

"yeah, we have. we didn't go to lunch on monday because we had work to finish for class, so we actually see him that day. but we sat with the boys at lunch yesterday. he was really messed up over it, joongie. messed up over you. he was crying and we were all helping him during the whole period." yeosang spoke honestly.

hongjoong felt a ping in his heart. even though he was angry at seonghwa, he couldn't help but feel horrible after hearing he was in pain. and although he knew that he should hate seonghwa, hongjoong couldn't find it in his heart to hate the boy. seonghwa meant too much to hongjoong to ever hate him.

"oh." was the only response hongjoong could muster up without crying.

"yeah. i mean... i'm obviously not happy with the guy, but i can't help but feel bad for him a bit." wooyoung shook his head and yeosang quickly interjected.

"nope, couldn't be me. you two are both too nice sometimes. i know i'm a nice guy as well, but i know right from wrong. what seonghwa did was completely wrong and in my opinion, doesn't deserve any pity. it's completely up to you if you decide to forgive him or not, but i would understand if you never spoke to him again. but i want you to do whatever you want, joongie. it's your call. regardless, i'll always be here for you." yeosang shrugged his shoulders, smiling ever so slightly as he spoke. hongjoong shook his head rapidly, biting his lip in frustration.

"that's the thing though. i don't know what i want to do! you both know that i'm one to forgive people easily, but i feel like he shouldn't be forgiven. but then again. i can't help but miss him. he really meant so much to me guys, and i miss him. i miss him so much." hongjoong began tearing up a bit as he spoke.

"it's understandable to miss him, joongie. he was your first real relationship. even though you guys never had an official 'boyfriend' label, you were obviously on track to it. i think you should just do what feels right to you. if right now you have to ignore him, then ignore him. if by next week you want to be with him again, then be with him... but just be careful. don't let your emotions take over. think with your head, not your heart." wooyoung spoke up, giving hongjoong the best advice he could muster up. he grabbed the boy's hand and held onto it, squeezing tightly as he spoke in attempt to comfort hongjoong.

"i agree with wooyoung. if he ends up doing something for you that you believe is worthy of your forgiveness, than forgive him. but if you end up moving on from him, he needs to understand that you have every right to do so." yeosang smiled as he looked into hongjoong's eyes, putting his own hand over hongjoong and wooyoung's intertwined fingers.

"yeah, you guys are right. i know i definitely need some more time away from him, though. i don't know how much longer, but i'm not ready to see him just yet." hongjoong said and the boys agreed with him.

"i one hundred percent agree with that." wooyoung smiled widely.

"i understand if you guys don't want to because of san and jongho, but could we please sit in our old seats at lunch today? if you don't want to i'll just sit by myself, it's ok with me. i just can't sit next to h-him today." hongjoong began choking up on his words as he spoke, unable to control his buildup of tears from flowing out any longer.

"don't cry joongie!" wooyoung stood up to give the boy a hug, "of course we'll sit with you. what kind of friends would we be to leave you at your time of need?"

"he's right. jongho and san can wait, you will always come first." yeosang smiled in a comforting way.

hongjoong buried his head into wooyoung's chest, "thank you guys so much. i'll figure everything out soon, i know i will. it just might take some time." hongjoong said as he wiped the tears falling on his cheeks.

"take all the time you need." wooyoung said as he looked down at the boy in his arms.

"yeah, take your time. but joongie, no boy is worth your tears!" yeosang exclaimed.

"haven't you cried over jongho multiple times in the past?" hongjoong asked yeosang, poking fun at his friend as he brought some light to his dim situation. wooyoung started laughing like a hyena as yeosang gasped at hongjoong's offensive, but accurate, comment.

"that is absolutely irrelevant right now!" yeosang stomped his foot like a child, crossing his arms and pouting as he did so.

"i was just joking with you, sangie. thank you guys for your advice, you're the bestest friends i could've ever asked for!" hongjoong backed away from wooyoung's chest and put an arm out for yeosang to join in the hug, which he reluctantly joined.

"you're so welcome!" wooyoung gushed.

"even though you just offended me, i'll let it slide because you're hurting." yeosang rolled his eyes, "you're welcome though, we love you."

"yes, we love you so so so much! i love you even more than i love sannie!" wooyoung admitted without thinking, catching both hongjoong and yeosang off guard.

"wait, you love san?" yeosang asked, emphasizing the word 'love'. wooyoung immediately tensed up, his anxiety brewing inside of him.

"i-i-i.. yeah." wooyoung nervously admitted while scratching the back of his head.

"that's so cute! i'm happy for you two." yeosang congratulated his friend, attacking him with tickles. hongjoong joined in, making wooyoung squirm around under their touch.

"ah, you g-guys are em-embarrassing me!" wooyoung laughed out, a light rosy shade forming on his cheeks. the boys stopped their attack when the morning bell rang, taking their seats before they could get in trouble with their teacher.

bro i'm so excited... i'm FINALLY going shopping for the first time since february!!! my addiction will be FED today!!

update: the store was fucking closed.

-vic