~ ~ Beatrix ~ ~

My bare back pressed up against something warm and smooth. Cracking an eyelid, groggy, it took me a second to process where I was...

Cam's bed. Oh, shit. I'd fallen asleep. Bang goes my cardinal number one rule.  I wasn't supposed to spend the night, crossing the line that was clearly marked with barbed wire and a brick wall.

The rule was simple. Fuck. Have Fun. Leave.

Cam's arm draped over me; breathing steadily. Phew... he's still asleep. At least that was something.

I however woke up with the call of nature and a bone-dry throat.  I swallowed, and apparently it's a little sore too. Urgh, who would have thought it possible with all that throat lubrication? Go figure!

Lifting my head, the morning sunlight peeked around the edges of the grey window blind. I could see the digital clock; it was almost six.

Why hadn't I stuck to the plan. It was simple, right?  Wrong. I'd done it again and in less than a week...less than a few days!

I still hadn't figured out why I'd asked Finn to spend the night. And now Cam? What was going on with me. I wasn't normally this reckless. But Cam wasn't just anyone.

Could I get off on a technicality and say we mostly fucked rather than slept? I did only fall asleep around three.

Yes, that made me feel a little better, I'd bent, not broken my rule... this time.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. It was Ivy's voice I heard.

Okay, I'd fucked up on my first rule. But more worrying was rule number two—no emotional entanglements. Oh yeah, I screwed that one up big time.

It hadn't been a simple fuck. Right here in this bed Cameron Harte, the man who'd broken my heart had made love to me.  Whispered words of love and longing.  And what was more terrifying—I'd loved it.

Every. Goddamn. Second.

I wanted to kick myself.

Cam tightened his hold as if he could sense my inner turmoil.

But what did it mean from here on in?  Mistake or not, I knew lying to myself wouldn't cut it.  He was still in my blood, my heart, and neither time nor effort had lessened the impact he had on me. It was batshit crazy to think years later it would be any different.

And stupidly I'd thought sleeping with him would make things clearer, I could get him out my system.

Yeah, fat lot of good that did.

The reality slapped me in the face and last night had proven one thing. My prefabricated attempt at resistance was worth little to nothing. I wasn't even sure knowing what had happened all those years ago would make a difference to how we moved forward.

I'd pulled the pin from the grenade and not bothered taking cover.

Trying to make myself feel better, instead I focused on how good the sex had been. And damn, it had been good. And Cam inviting Finn to join us was the cherry on top. And I won't deny it sparked something darker in me. This thing between us could easily become additive and out of control if I let it. The lid on Pandora's box had been blown wide open.

And what would Cam think when he woke? It wasn't hard to guess what Finn thought. He'd wanted it. I'd seen lust and longing and something else in his eyes.

Boom!  Another grenade went off.

Resisting blowing out a breath of frustration at my lack of what the fuck was going on in my head or heart, it would better to dissect this later. Emotional intensity on an empty stomach and demanding bladder wasn't good.

Plus talking it out with Ivy would help, even with her smug  I told you so Trix, reminders.

Cam shifted, pushing his nose into my hair, mumbling. I couldn't help the stupid grin hijacking my mouth. He used to talk in his sleep when he was younger.

Prising myself from Cam's almost vice like grip, I snook from his bed, grabbing my crinkled dress from the floor. In the bathroom, I attended to business and used my finger with toothpaste. I peeked into the mirror to see crazy hair, smudged mascara and—

What the fuck?!

Staring back was a purply blue bruise. He'd branded me with a fucking hickey!

Could you believe it? I'd not had one of those since—I couldn't even remember.

What was he thinking?

I pressed my hand over the bruised skin, trying in vain to erase it.

Inwardly cringing, how in the hell could I hide that? It's not like I could wear a turtleneck—it's summer for Christ's sake. This would need some Ivy magic. I could almost hear her laughing.

Rolling my eyes, I scowled at the hickey and headed to the kitchen.

Standing in the kitchen's doorway, last night flaunted itself as I looked at the table, which was clear of any dishes or evidence of me being on top of it, legs spread wide whilst Cam feasted.

Shaking the thoughts or trying to. I needed to skedaddle before Cam or Finn woke, and I wouldn't have to deal with any potential questions about how I was feeling.

I didn't bother to flip the light. There was enough natural light slipping around the pulled down blind in the small window. Yanking open the fridge door, the bright light stung my sleepy eyes. I half expected it to be empty or just filled with beer and junk food.

Nope. To my surprise, they'd filled it with lots of healthy things.

I grabbed a bottle of water and pulled a strawberry from its punnet, popping in my mouth. Weirdly, it reminded me of Finn's cum... it too had tasted sweet. Had he been eating these? They did say—you are what you eat!

I smiled, then grumbled. Stop thinking about last night.

Dragging my head from the fridge, I stifled a yawn, turning and kicking the door shut, I squeaked. "Shit, Finn, you frightened the life out of me." I whisper hissed, my heart going ten-to-the-dozen.

So much for sneaking out.

His sexy signature smirk greeted me. "Sorry." My eyes, which had been exhausted a second again danced in their sockets. The man wore sexy like a second skin. Casually, my gaze dipped. His dark jeans hung low on his hips, top two buttons open, they hugged his muscular thighs, leading nicely onto bare feet.

Fuck me, I had a new appreciation for jeans.

Ideas of escaping evaporated as I bit back a moan scrutinising his deliciousness. His arms were sexy as hell, but my eyes paused on his perfectly formed chest—on full display. Summer adorned his smooth skin. A single droplet of water snagged my attention, slipping over his impressive pectoral muscle, no doubt from his damp hair. The fresh scent also gave a pointer to where he'd just been... naked in the shower.

Damn, could I get away with licking that droplet?

A shiver passed through me. He smelt and looked edible, and my fingers itched to touch.

Had he always smelled this good? This man was a walking wake up call. My tiredness evaporated, replaced by pure unadulterated lust.

"Cam still asleep?" he asked.

"Huh?" I looked up. His smirk widened, his chocolate eyes melting with heat. And there was no doubt he damn well knew the effect he had on me.

"Cam asleep?" his voice lowered, sexy... more sexy.

More sexy?  His half naked body was clearly lowering my IQ. My brain couldn't function. Base needs were running the show.  Eat.  Eat him.

Cam, yes—he'd asked about Cam.

Focus and quit it with the eye mauling.

I sucked in a breath. Christ, the man's a liability. I blinked. "Oh, yes," humming, "still sleeps like the dead." I should step back, take my water, and get out of here. I needed to regroup and process my feelings and thoughts about what the hell I was doing.

My eyes ignored my brain.

"You have that look?" he said, throwing me a lopsided grin.

And here was me thinking I was being discreet.

Taken completely off guard, my breath caught as he backed me up against the counter, my senses overloaded with his clean, fresh scent as his lips pressed to mine, stealing a kiss along with my breath and most likely my last functioning brain cell.

If I hadn't wanted him a second go. I did now.

Fucking hell, I was a walking contradiction.

Finn's strong muscular frame held me in place whilst his warm tongue slipped over mine... and as with all his kisses, he's firm, but soft.

He groaned as our lips rested on each other. "Had to taste you... but—" his mouth devoured mine again as my body practically sang, nipples stiff, insistent into his chest as an instant dose of desire flooded south. I wanted him.

Finn paused. "We need to—" his tongue licked across my lip. "Talk."

What, talk now?  "Talk?"

"Yeah, but now I can't decide."

"Decide what?"

"Can't decide if I want to fuck you with my mouth, fingers or my cock first."

He said bluntly. Which I must admit, I preferred.

I realised I was still holding the bottle of water. Stretching, I put it down and slid my hands between us, cupping his cock over his jeans, squeezing him firmly. Talking can wait. I want his mouth to do other things. Very bad things, or very good things. "You know a person can have an entire conversation with body parts?" I practically purred.

He chuckled, deep and sexy rumbling through his chest. "Fuck, Trix. You're fluid in my kind of language."

His mouth pressed against mine, urgent and demanding as his hands pulled up my dress, sliding his warmth up between my thighs and feeling his way to where I wanted him.

"Finn..."

"Last night I followed Cam's rules." He leaned in closer, his lips grazed my ear, whispering. "But he's not here. I have you all to myself."

He growled, pushing two fingers inside me. "All this cream for me?" he asked cockily. Sliding out his fingers and sucking them into his mouth.

I knew I'd be wet. This man could excite a corpse. "Ah-hu." He pulled them free with a slurp and slid them down and inside my neediness. My head fell back a little.

Oh boy, what a start to the day.

"Cam ate you on our table... I'm gonna bend you over this table, part those delicious thighs and slide right home. You're gonna come on my table and I want to hear you, because watching you come is the fuckin' hottest thing." He groaned. "You wouldn't believe I've been hard from the second my eyes opened and even a cold shower and wanking off did little to curb its enthusiasm."

By the time my brain cottoned on, true to his word, he pulled me toward the table, spinning me around, behind me he kicked a chair out the way as he popped the rest of the buttons on his jeans.  And when his hand slid up my thighs, dragging my dress up, the cool air did nothing to dampen the heat flaring outwards.

Groaning, he bent over me, his chest pressed against my back and his freed cock settled in my ass cheeks as his hand pushed my hair from my neck, his breath now warming it further. "Last chance to tell me to stop."

I smirked. "Stop now..." pausing, I turned my head. "And I'll probably do you some serious harm." His deep chuckle warmed me at the same time inflicting a rush of goosebumps across my skin.

His hand came around and cupped my breast, pinching my nipple through my dress. "This won't be gentle."

"Is that so?" I asked with a little tease in my voice.

"Oh, it's a promise, beautiful."

Promises, promises. My eyes closed on a whimper. And then his heat was gone.

What? My eyes sprang open, to feel relief at the tear of the condom wrapper.

And then he was back, running his cock between my ass cheeks. "I can't wait to fuck this arse, but not yet... I want Cam with us when I do that."

I shivered and moaned as my imagination rocketed into orbit.  Fuck!

He nudged my legs wider. "Ah, you like that idea?" With his cock in hand, he slid it over my arse coming underneath, rubbing against my clit, torturing me. "Having Cam watch me fuck your tight arse?" 

Jesus, I would beg if it didn't get inside me soon.

And then he caught my hips and slid deep inside me.

"Yes... fucking christ. Yes, Finn."

"Fuck yeah, that's it Trix, take it all." He groaned. "So fucking hot." He pulled out but not all the way his cock twitched, teasing. I glanced over my shoulder to see him looking down where we joined.

"Finn...please."

His lips curled up, "Say that again."

"Please...Finn."

He hunched forward, gripping my hips with such force that I knew where he would leave his mark on my body as he began thrusting in and out, short hard digs. His stomach heaved against my lower back. "Finn, Finn... Finn." I repeated his name over and over, spurring him on.

Clearly motivated by his name leaving my lips, he lived up to his promise and I took flight.

Fifteen minutes or it could have been longer. My dazed and fuzzy head became clearer.

How the hell had we ended up here—the shower?

Jets of water poured over my head, down my back as Finn soaped up his hands and my breasts had his full attention.

"Ah, you're back. You had me worried," he smirked.

What had I passed out?   Maybe—quite possibly?  "Where's Cam?"

"Still dead to the world." He grinned, groping my breasts.

"I think they're clean, Finn."

"Hey, don't spoil my fun. Didn't get to give them much attention whilst I had you bent over the table." His smirk transformed into a full-blown sexy as fuck smile.

His smile dropped a little. "Now I have you somewhere where you can't escape. I need to talk to you. I want to ask you something." His eyes searched mine as his hands stilled.

"Okay, ask away, but I can't promise I'm fully compos mentis... it's quite possible you fucked my brains out!"

He laughed. "I'll keep it simple." Hesitating, one hand shifted, tracing up the middle of my breasts, over my collar, higher, sliding left to circle around Cam's branding on my skin. His eyes darkened and the hot water suddenly seemed cooler. I'd never seen a serious side to Finn, uncertainty in his tensing shoulders.

This must be serious. My pulse picked up for a different reason. Softening my tone. "Talk to me."

Finn took a heavy breath. "Normally I would keep out of it, respect boundaries." There's now something else in his eyes.  Vulnerability is my first gut impression and it's unfiltered, raw. Something or someone was causing him pain.

The tightness across my chest was unexpected and him hurting touched me in a way I'd allowed very few others. Protective instincts washed through me and the need to ease the stress lining his forehead was overwhelming. I pressed my hand to his chest, his heart pounded—faster than mine. "What is it, Finn?"

His jaw twitched. "Take the deadline off the table."

What?   What was he talking about? Either it's still too early for my brain to be working or he really had just fucked me stupid. "Deadline?"

He nodded. "Cam telling you what happened four years ago. The reason he hurt you."

It struck me dumb for a moment.

Taking my hand from his chest he brought it to his lips, kissing the tips of my fingers gently. "I know I'm asking a lot here. And I'm not saying he shouldn't tell you. Just let him do it in his own time."

Wasn't four years long enough? I didn't voice that. "Why?"

He pushed a few strands of wet hair behind my ear. "Trust me, it will be better if it goes down that way."

I could see it right there, the reason for his pain. He loves Cam.  This wasn't solely about sex for him.  He would do anything to make sure Cam didn't get hurt.

It's not a huge surprise. I'd had my suspicions and Ivy's intuition, but seeing it staring at me was confirmation, his heart belonged to another. "You love him."

It wasn't a question.

I closed my eyes as Finn hands warmed my cheeks, slowly they moved down, his warm palms cupping my neck with his thumbs resting just under chin, pushing my head up gently as his fingers tensed and flex where they rested at the back of my neck. "Look at me Trix."

My eyes opened as his face took a dubious cast. "Would it change things between me and you if I said yes?" He looked nervous. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."

Would it have made the slightest difference? No. "No—but is it Cam who you want Finn. Is he your end game?" And was I a pawn in this game?

"Until meeting you—yeah." He sucked in a breath, looking sheepish. "I never thought I'd have a chance. Not until—"

He stopped, but I knew the answer and finished his sentence. "Until I came back."

Finn nodded slowly, dropping his eyes. "I thought I knew him." His eyes lifted. "But you coming back—he's different."

"Go on..." I encouraged.

"I'm not sure the best way to describe it." He spoke the words tenderly but edged with something—unease? I wasn't sure.

"He's smiling, really smiling. It's like he's been sleepwalking for the last four years and now he's awake."

His hold on me loosened before dropping altogether as he ploughed his hands through his wet hair, blowing out a tortured breath. "But I know this. He confused, conflicted and I see all the signs that he's stressed as fuck about telling you. Frightened he's gonna you lose you again."

Finn stared at me for what seemed minutes, where it was most likely seconds. "Please Trix, just let him tell you without the pressure." He shook his head. "I'm not saying wait months."

I wasn't sure what to say.

He pushed on. "Get to know him again... and me and give this... the three of us a chance."

It's clear as day he's worried Cam telling me will make me step away and whatever may have started between them—be snuffed out.

"Are you asking for him or for you?" It was a fair question.

"I won't lie—both."

"How long have you been in love with him?"

He sighed. "Pretty much from the start."

"Why haven't you told him?" How could someone keep that to themselves?

"For him it's always been you."  Shrugging. "But seeing me and you together has triggered something in him. It's like he's seeing me for the first time."

I took a moment to think.  I appreciated his honesty but I'd been here before, the third in a relationship.  Being on the outside.  "Taking Cam out of the equation for a second. What do you want from me, Finn?"

This whole time, I'd been trying to convince myself that this thing between us is a short-lived fling, even in the moments when part of me feels like it's something more and I'd be damned if I'm going to risk my heart to one or both without full disclosure.

"You're the one thing I wasn't expecting and I'm not bullshitting you when I say—I want it all."

"All?" I blinked. "As in everything?" I repeated.

He nodded. "Everything  you're willing to give me."  The determination in his eyes had my heart stuttering. "I never thought I would let some else in after Jenny."

Wow. My pulse quickened. Truthfully, not what I expected him to say.

"I know it sounds crazy what I'm asking—to know what I want."  My eyes dropped.  He wants it all.  

Finn's finger lifted my chin.  "I know what I want and you and Cam can run scared, but I'm not going anywhere."

Fuck.

There's an honesty in his statement and normally this would have me freaking out. "You want your cake and eat it, huh?"

He smiled at that. "Yeah, something like that."

This was something else I would need to digest later.  The  question that I have to answer now.  Could I wait a few more days... a week... a month? "Has Cam asked you to do this?" I saw the surprise in his eyes, but again, it's a fair question.

He shook his head adamantly. "Trust me, he's probably gonna have my balls on a stick when I tell him."

Which way to jump? My brain said no. But my gut, heart and possibly my vagina said what would it hurt to wait a little longer? I jumped. "Okay."

The relief on his face was instant. "Okay? Does that mean yeah, you'll give him more time?"

"It does. But it doesn't mean I'm gonna wait long though Finn, I'm not investing any more of myself until I know the complete story."

"Fair enough and thank you, Trix. It means a lot... to me. You've no idea." His smile was dazzling as his arms slid around my waist, lifting me clear off my feet, sealing our wet bodies as he planted a wet kiss. "Now, where was I, dirty girl." He set me down to reach for the shower gel.

We both sprang apart as the shower curtain was wrenched back.

Cam stood naked with a towel in his hand. "I think you've spent long enough there." He looked between the two of us. "And don't you have a client soon?"

Finn grinned, snatching a quick kiss before stepping out. "I do."

Cam passed him the towel.

I was about to step out when Cam moved in front of me. "Nah-ah. Keep your sexy arse in there. You're not going anywhere." 

Our eyes met.

I knew that look, stepping back as he pulled the shower curtain across and his mouth descended on mine.  Oh, boy.