~ ~ Finn ~ ~

After wrapping up with my last client of the day, I quickly showered at the gym and then headed back to my car. I'd stupidly left my phone in there and I hoped Cam hadn't been trying to reach me. Sliding into my seat, I looked all over for the damned thing.

Where was it? Had I left it with Trix? Nah, I checked for messages before I left her place.

Perfect timing. It alerted with a message. Fishing under my seat, I found it. Fingers crossed, it was Cam.

Shit. It wasn't. No call or messages from him, but I had missed six calls from Sarah, my sister's best friend. And one from Rob at the bar.

Weird...

I dialled Sarah first, wondering if something was wrong with my sister, Natalie. "Hey Sarah, what's up?"

"Oh, thank Christ," she said, relieved. "I've finally got hold of you."

"Has something happened to Nat?"

"No. Listen your friend—Cameron." I could hear lots of background noise from the bar. "Rob told me to give him whatever he wanted."

"Okay. And?"

"He's been drinking non-stop even before I came on shift and Lucy—she's new, said he'd been here since we opened."

Christ, they opened at eleven. "Okay, I'm on my way."

"Good. Oh, and I took his car keys off him. And got him upstairs and made him have something to eat."

"Thanks Sarah, you're a star, honestly this means a lot to me." Sarah didn't know him that well, but I'd known her for years.

"Er, Finn..." she hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"He seems really upset. Keeps saying someone called Bea was going to leave him."

Shit. I should have gone with him today. I'd been stupid to think he would be okay on his own.

Sarah continued talking. "Rob said he would drive him home when he got back from Costco, but I think he's passed out and I'm worried he might throw up and I can't stay up there with him."

"Okay, see you twenty."

I hung up. Christ, my guts churned. What had that sick bastard said to him? I slammed my car into drive and put my foot down.

Arriving in just under fifteen minutes, I broke a few speeding limits. But fuck it, Cam could pay for any speeding fines. Parking around back, Sarah was already waiting with a bottle of water in her hand.

Out of the car, walking toward Sarah. "Is he still upstairs?"

She shook her head. "No, sorry. I tried to stop him." She looked guilty.

"Did you see which way he went?"

"He turned left up Main Street. About five minutes ago." She shoved her hand into her pocket. "He's got no money on him." She fished out his car keys and a phone. "Here—these are his."

"Cheers Sarah and thanks. I owe you. Honestly if you need anything, just ask."

I turned to head back to my car.

"Hey, wait up, Finn."  She took two steps forward.

Facing her, I kept walking backwards, itching to find Cam. "Yeah?"

She pushed some hair behind her ear, looking down. "I don't suppose I could talk you into coming out with me sometime?"

What? Crap. Her hopeful glance didn't need spelling out what she was asking and sadly I didn't have time to let her down gently. "Sorry, Sarah. I'm seeing someone."

"Oh." She looked up, surprised. "Who? That woman I saw you with?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"What... and it's serious?"

"Yeah, listen. I've gotta go. I need to find Cam." I climbed back into my car. "Thanks again. Really appreciate you looking out for him."

Slamming the door, I looked out the windscreen. It looked like the heavens were just about to open up. And pulling out in the main street, they did exactly that.

Fuck. He would get soaked.

Flipping on my windscreen wipers to full whack, I drove slowly as I kept one eye on the pavement to spot him. Surely, he couldn't have got that far? But driving slowly in London earned me a few deserved hand gestures and beeping horns—impatient bastards.

"Shit!" I slammed on my brakes when I spotted him, walking with his head down, shoulder hunched and his hands jammed into his pockets. Pulling over into a no-parking zone, I was out of my car in a flash. "Cam!"

Nothing—he didn't respond. "Cam!" I yelled a second time. He either couldn't hear me or was ignoring me.

In the pissing down rain, I slammed my car door shut and jogged after him. "Cam." I grabbed his shoulder, twisting him, almost toppling him over. His clothes clung to his skin and a stupid grin sat on his face.

"Finn—You're here!"

He didn't look upset or angry. In fact, he was happy to see me. Yep—he was wasted. "Jesus, Cam, you're soaked. C'mon my cars here." I gave him a small tug.

"I lost my car... or my keys, or both." He shrugged and hiccupped.

I led him to the passenger door and lent him against the car whilst I opened it. "C'mon, watch your head." He still caught his head on the way in, bursting into laughter.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Maybe I'd been wrong, and it hadn't gone that bad with Seb? Closing his door, I ran around the car and climbed in. Helping him with his seatbelt first, I put mine on and started the car, pulling out into the traffic.

"Do you like me Finn?" He slurred his words, as his fingers started pressing all the buttons on my sound system. "B-Bea said you like me."

The radio blasted out as I quickly shut it off. "Course I like you."

"Hey, I wanted to listen to music." He tried to put it back on, hiccupping again.

I swatted his hand away. "No. And for Christ's sake, please don't throw up in my car, or give me notice so I can pull over, yeah?"

He smiled, his eyes a little glassy. "No—no promises."

"Yeah, well, remember this—if you throw up in my baby, then I will take back what I said about liking you."

He chuckled.

Thankfully, we arrived home with no incidents, and no mention of Seb. "C'mon, we need to get you out of these wet clothes." He plodded into my bedroom. "Your room is this way." I tried to steer him towards his bedroom.

"But I like your room."

Okay... "Fine. Stand here and I'll grab a towel and some clothes." I made my way to his room and rummaged through his wardrobe. Cam, being a neat freak, made it easier to find what I needed.

Back in my room, he was struggling to get his wet tee-shirt off. "Here, let me." Throwing his clothes on the chair and the towel on the bed, I helped pull it free. Thank Christ it was summer, so although he was wet, he wasn't freezing cold. He fumbled with his jeans as he kicked off his shoes.

"Do you want a shower? Are you cold?"

He yanked at his jeans and swayed. "Fuck, sit." My bed was right behind him. He dropped, and I lowered to my knees in front of him and pulled his jeans and underwear free. I tried not to notice his dick saluting me. Instead, I distracted myself by yanking off his socks.

Cam laughed and pointed at his dick. "He likes you." I grinned, shaking my head. "I liked Saturday," he hiccupped. "Did you, Finn?"

I smiled as I reached for the towel and knelt up to dry his hair. "Yeah, I like Saturday."

"You not mind me fucking you?"

"No, I didn't mind." If there was ever an understatement—that was it.

"You liked it?"

Christ, I wished he was sober. "Yes."

"I'm glad—I liked it too."

He went quiet and swayed ever so slightly as I rubbed a little harder.

"Do you ever think about fuckin' me, Finn?" Jesus. My hands froze as I sunk back into my calves. "I think I might let you; you know fuck me." Hiccup. "You know your dick in my arse. That kind of fucking."

Fucking hell.

I tried to swallow.  What? My jaw dropped and my brain malfunctioned. My dick, however, was in no doubt what he'd just said, thickening in my sweats.

"I never wanted Seb." Adamantly shaking his head. "That bastard took something I wasn't offering—didn't want." His head dropped. "She's gonna hate me."

"What—who?"

"Bea. She's gonna hate me and leave me." In the blink of an eye, his mood shifted.

"Bea could never hate you. She loves you Cam."

"He's gonna tell her."

"Tell her what?"

"I can't lose her, Finn." There was something off in his voice. My chest tightened.

Still crouched, I reached my hand up behind his neck. "Look at me, Cam." His eyes slowly lifted. "Listen," I shook my head gently. "Bea's not gonna leave you."

His eyes were glassy, red rimmed the edges.

"You're gonna leave me too." He sucked in a breath. "You and Bea will skip off into the—" hiccup—"Sunset. Like in the movies."

I sighed. "I told you, you're never gonna lose me." I rubbed the back of his neck and placed my other hand on his thigh and squeezed. "You don't have to worry about anything. We can talk about it when you're sober, okay?"

"I like you, Finn."

I smiled. "I know, I know you do."

"Do you love me, Finn?"

Fuck! How the hell was I supposed to answer that? "Can we add that to the pile of things we can talk about—when you're sober?"

"Bea, my dad and—" he pointed at me. "You. You're all gonna hate me."

Where the hell did that come from? "Not gonna happen." And where did his dad come into all this?

He nodded. "When my dad finds out, he'll... " hiccup. "Disown me."

Was he talking about Seb raping him? But his parents already knew. "What happened to you was not your fault."

He raised his hand and pointed. "That's what you say... now."

"It's what I'll always say. It's the truth."

"You like me, Finn?"

"I already told you Cam—yes, I like you." I rose to stand. "C'mon, let's get you dressed."

I turned and grabbed his clothes from the chair. Turning back, Cam was right in front of me. "Will you make me feel better, Finn?" His eyes weren't looking at me.

"Yeah, course. You want something?" I thought he was gonna ask for some paracetamol or water.

"Make it stop hurting." His face dropped, replaced by a little boy's lost look.

"Tell me what you want or what I can do?" My throat suddenly felt dry with emotion as his eyes lifted, connecting with mine, and it was like someone had punched me.

"Please Finn," he pleaded.

I touched his shoulder. "Hey, I'm here, whatever you need." His hand grabbed a fistful of my tee-shirt and yanked me toward him. Hmph...his lips landed on mine. It was brief, barely even a kiss, and then he pulled back. "Cam?" He was acting out of character. I wondered if I should call Trix and ask her to come over. Cam let out a sigh and then his mouth was back on mine.

This wasn't like our usual kisses. His grip on me tightened as he forced his tongue into my mouth, and I could taste whisky and something else.

It felt wrong somehow, but try telling that to my dick, who wasn't worried about Cam's behaviour. I tried to pull back, but his other hand shifted around the back of my neck under my hairline and held me there. His tongue fought mine as his other hand freed my tee-shirt and dipped under the material running across my abs, making me shiver. Then lower as his hand pushed beneath my waistband of my sweats and boxers and closed around my stiff shaft.

Any ideas of calling Trix, or dressing Cam, vanished as he stroked me and then fingered the slit on my crown. Barely a few hours had passed since I'd cum down Trix's throat, and still my dick leaked copious amounts of pre-cum and he smeared around the head.

I stole some air as his tongue pulled out as his lips rested against mine.

"Jesus, fuck. Cam." My hips moved, thrusting into his hand. His tongue was back in my mouth, teeth clashing in some frantic attempt to get closer to me. He let go of my dick but only long enough to push my sweats and boxers down and then he was stroking me again.

We both stood, Cam naked, him wanking me off as I kicked off my shoes and used my feet to get free of my sweats and boxers. His grip on me tightened, his strokes faster.

What the fuck was going on here?

He's drunk and obviously not in his right mind. I pushed my hand into his bare chest. His heart beat wildly under my hand. "Cam stop! We need to talk."

I forced myself back and he let go of my dick. He brought his eyes up to mine. "I never asked him to fuck me, Finn."

My breathing was laboured. "I know."

"The only person I would ever let do that — fuck me." He took a breath, his eyebrows raised. "Is you."

What the? What the fuck was he actually trying to say? "Cam?" I shook my head, really wishing he was sober. "Lets—"

He interrupted. "Do you want to?"

"What?"

"Fuck me? Is that what you want?"

Er yeah. Not that he really wanted to hear that. I needed to get him to talk to me. "Tell me what happened today, when you went to see him."

He shook his head firmly. "This isn't about him. Do you want to fuck me, Finn?"

My mouth was gaping and my stomach tied in knots. Was this some kind of trick question? But my head nodded. "He turned his head looking around, then walked toward my bedside table, yanking open the drawer. "

"Cam?" He ignored me and then twisted around so I could see what was in his hand. A bottle of lube. I shook my head. "Cam," I held both my hands up as he popped open the cap and poured some into his palm. Back in front of me, he reached for my dick and smoothed the lotion all over my very eager dick.

"This is what you want, yes?" he asked.

He threw the lube on the bed and before I could answer, he turned away and bent over the bed, his ass on full display.

Fuck. Lust—crazy, unadulterated lust burned every thought out of my head. Cam wanted me to fuck him.

My dick ached painfully at the sight, and I moved closer.

My head screamed at me to stop this craziness and wait till he was sober. Talk to him.

But I stepped closer and dropped to my knees behind him, spreading his arse cheeks and planting my mouth over his hole, just like I'd fantasised about many—probably hundreds of times. Lightly pressing my tongue inside, I waited for him to tell me to stop but he let out a low moan and I pushed in further, wasting no time with subtly or teasing. My head wasn't in control. I went with my urges, and I was ravenous for him. Four years I'd waited for this.

My tongue easing in and out, I used the tip to circle the outside, then pushing back in, almost lapping with forceful, relentless strokes.

"Please Finn,"

Hotter than I'd ever been. I rose to stand, my hands still clenching his arse as it reddened under my grip as his cheeks remained parted. Pressing my dick forward, I ran it in between his arse cheeks, wanting nothing more than to plunge inside, and any thoughts of stopping fled as I pictured thrusting into that tiny, clenched opening.

Fuck, I'd wanted this for so long I wasn't sure if I was dreaming.

Cam pressed back and my dick now rested at his opening. "Just do it, fuck it." He let out a staggered sob. "Now!" I couldn't miss how wrong he sounded as he collapsed further down, his fists clenching the bed covers, his fingers whitening. I shifted my hand to grip his hips as my lubed up dick still pressed, waiting against his arsehole.

A voice in my head made me pause as I listened to him take three deep breaths and some sanity returned. This was wrong. His fists clenched, but not in eagerness... It was fear of what he wanted me to do to him.

Fuck.

Horror filled my veins at what I was about to do. Doing this now—like this, would make me no better than the bastard who fucking raped him when he was unconscious.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

This was beyond fucked up.

The man I loved was drunk and vulnerable right now and I was about to stick my dick up his arse.

Fuck!

I slowed my breathing, sweat prickling along my hairline and my dick may have been throbbing, but the pain in my chest overrode what my body wanted.

Cam's head fell forward as a mournful sound fell from his lips.

"Shhhh," I whispered as I leaned over Cam's back, pressing my reluctant dick down. I kissed along his back, telling him it was okay as I moved my hand around to stroke across his abdomen and then down to find his dick was as soft as a fucking marshmallow.

Christ, he wasn't even turned on.

Cam's body went lax underneath me and dropped to my bed, burying his head in my covers. "Move up Cam," I gentled him with my hand, and he shifted up the bed and moved to his side, not saying anything. I crawled up the bed and lay behind him, shifting closer so my chest pressed against his back and my hand moved to rest on hip.

I wanted to say sorry to beg him to forgive me, but every time I opened my mouth, nothing came out.

I wasn't sure how long we lay there saying nothing. But I needed the bathroom.

I eased back slowly, moving my hand, I pushed to sit up.

"Don't go." It was barely a whisper.

Bathroom would have to wait. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere unless you ask me to go."

I lay back down. "Tell me what to do, Cam. What do you need?" Anything to try to make him and myself feel better.

"He filmed it."

Not three words I was expecting. "What?"

"Seb—" he inhaled slowly. "He filmed the whole thing."

My anger overrode every other emotion. That sick bastard, I'd kill him.

"Said I asked him to fuck me."

"Cam, you weren't even conscious, so how the fuck could you ask for it?" I closed my eyes trying to stem the burning inside me. "I don't believe him—he's lying."

"I can't lose her Finn, I can't—" he choked back a sob, and I curled my arm around him and brought him closer.

"Shhh, she's not going anywhere. She loves you." I kissed his shoulder.

"What should I do, Finn?"

"You stick to the plan. Trix-Bea needs to know."

"I'm not sure I can—"

"Then I will. This had to end Cam. I don't care what that sick fuck said. I watched how you tortured yourself for over a year before you finally found some sort of piece."

"But—"

"But nothing. He's a fucked up piece of shit." Who I was going to pay a visit. "Try to sleep. Then we can talk about it."

"You don't hate me?"

Christ, the vulnerability in his voice shredded my heart. "Hate you? Jesus Cam—" I love you. "You ...and Trix mean everything to me."

He said nothing. Lying there for at least another half hour, my bladder tortured. His breathing slowed and steadied. He'd finally fallen asleep. Thank fuck for whisky.

I eased from the bed, covering him. Grabbing some fresh clothes, I switched off the light and closed the door.

Grabbing my phone, I plucked the spare key from the drawer and headed to our neighbour, Sweet old Mrs Atkins. I would leave the spare key with her.

Climbing back into my car, I pulled out my phone and hit up Trix's number. She answered in three rings.

"Hey you," her voice purred down the phone, and a smile found its way onto my lips.

"Hey,"

"Missing me already?" she teased.

"Always, " I said. "Listen, I have to tell you something and then I need for you to drop whatever you're doing and head to our place."

"Is everything okay—Cam okay?" I heard the worry in her voice.

"No." I told her everything as I drove to that bastard's house. I would wait till he came home, even if I had to sit there all fucking night.