~ ~Beatrix ~ ~

Exhausted and jet lagged. I turned in my bed to lie flat on my back staring at the ceiling.

Why didn't I just say no?

I'd tossed and turned all bloody night, asking myself the same question.

The alarm on my phone rang out. Stretching across my pillow, I grabbed it and swiped the alert.

Urgh.

I couldn't lie here all day, hiding, just because I was too damn chicken-shit to get up and face what's on the other side of the door.

My stomach grumbled. Hunger and my bladder were battling for supremacy.  I could probably go without food, but wetting the bed...nah, give that a miss.

One more minute.

My thoughts drifted to Cam and Finn. It was just past eight, local time. Too early to call either. Although it was best if I avoided them... for now, as I knew any conversation with Cam would trigger his sixth sense. It was both a blessing and a curse that he could read me so well.

Which brought me full circle—why didn't I just say no?

I knew why. Because I still felt indebted to them.

You don't owe them shit. Tell them to go fuck themselves.

I could hear Ivy's voice in my head.

And perhaps she was right, because this was huge—life changing.

But something else had stopped the word no leaving my mouth. It was the first time I'd seen Sadie vulnerable and almost humble when she asked. I'd never thought to use the words Sadie and vulnerable in the same sentence.

And what would I do if I were in her position?

Lifting my phone, I fired a quick message to Ivy, asking her what time she wanted me to come over. I couldn't tell her about Sadie and Sean as I wouldn't allow her to be worried about me on top of her grief.

Ping. I hadn't expected a reply so quickly.

Shit.

She was going to the funeral home with her family. I fired off another asking if she wanted me to go with her.

My stomach dropped. In all honesty it was the last place I wanted to go. I'd visited the chapel of rest when my dad died and swore I would never do it again. Some people found peace in sitting with their recently departed loved ones—but not me.

Ping. No, she was fine and would ring me later.

Fuck.

It left me little choice. I couldn't hide in here all day.

Dragging my arse from the bed, dressed in a vest and shorts, I headed to the bathroom to take care of business.

Not bothering to dress, I left the safety of my bedroom and ventured to the kitchen. My steps paused as I passed the main sitting area.

Voices.

Sadie was reeling off a list of orders to Miss Purdy. Stepping around the sofa, I could see them on the balcony with the door partly open. Miss Purdy was busy nodding and typing away on her laptop.

Pushing the door, I stepped onto the balcony with the sounds of the waking city greeting me.

Sadie eyes lifted to mine. "Ah, sleeping beauty." Her voice teased.

Miss Purdy adjusted her glasses on her button nose, but effectively ignored me.

I shivered. It was quite cold out here and I scrubbed my hands up and down my arms. Perhaps I should have dressed.

"Don't just sit there. Go get Beatrix something warm!" Sadie barked at Miss Purdy.

I stretched my hand out, shaking my head. "No, it's fine, honestly. I—"

Miss Purdy jumped from her chair, almost sending it tumbling. "Of course. Yes, Ms Peterson. Right away." She didn't look my way as she darted past me.

"—I didn't bring much with me." I'd hardly packed anything given the urgency of us getting back here.

Sadie cut me off. "I've fully stocked your wardrobe with this season's essentials." She lifted her cup. "No expense spared."

Why was I not surprised? "Sadie, you didn't need to do that—"

She sighed impatiently. "Beatrix, they're just clothes. It's nothing." She shrugged. "And I've re-issued you a card on my account. Anything you need—use it."

Nothing? That was like saying Pradas were just shoes! Before I could argue the point, Miss Purdy returned.

"Thank you," I slipped on the floral wool cardigan, noticing the designer label. Sadie did nothing in half measures.

"Have you confirmed the arrangements?" she asked her assistant.

"Yes. It's done."

"Good." she turned to me, smiling. "You're stressed Beatrix. You need to relax."

I did? I quirked a brow. What was she up to?

"What did you have in mind?" and I instantly regretted the question as a look I knew well, flashed through her eyes.

"Don't look so frightened, Beatrix. As much as I would like nothing more than to spend the day in bed with you. Time will not allow that, today."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" interrupted Miss Purdy.

Sadie didn't take her eyes from me. "You can head over to the office and work from there today."

Miss Purdy picked up her belongings from the table and left us, but I swore she scowled at me on the way past.

Charming...

"Coffee?" Sadie reached for the cafetière and poured me a cup. "And try the Cornetti. It's to die for."

The pastries looked mouthwatering. "Sure, thanks." I took in the view. It was the apartments crowning glory and the reason I'd chosen this one when Sean had offered me a choice of two others close by.

"Sit Beatrix. You know how I feel about looking up to people—I'd much rather be looking down." Her lips curved up. She wasn't joking.

Pulling out the chair, I sat and wrapped my hands around the warm cup.

"I expect Sean back in the county by lunchtime."

My heart sank. Christ, did they expect an answer by tonight?

As if reading my mind.

"I won't ask you for your answer, today." She eyed me curiously. "By the dark circles and puffy eyes, I can see you haven't slept."

She wasn't wrong. I hardly went fifteen minutes without waking and staring into the darkness.

"I want you to know there has been no one else since you left." She sipped her drink. "And you're the only person I would ask this of." She stretched her hand across the table and stroked over my knuckle. "No one else, Beatrix."

I swallowed, feeling the pressure inside my chest.

We sat in silence for a while, which suited me fine—till she dropped another bombshell.

"Sean cares for you. It was hard on him when you left."

Fuck.

"Sadie—"

I know he hasn't always shown it and I'm partly to blame," she sighed.

"Sadie, Listen."

She held out her hand, adding. "Is your reluctance due to someone else? Have you met someone in London?"

And the questions just kept on coming.

"Is this person what holds you back?"

I shook my head. "I'm in a relationship, yes. But he doesn't make my decisions for me." She didn't need to know the ins and outs, and it was none of hers or Sean's business.

Her eyebrows arched. "Is it Cameron Harte?"

Christ, she knew already? Had Cam said something to Sean? I schooled my expression.

"But surely you can't love him." She bristled. "It's what—" she threw her hand in the air. "—been less than a handful of months."

"Its much more than that, Sadie. Cameron and I practically grew up together." I wasn't sure why I told her, but a strange look passed across her face...as if she remembered something.

"When you first came to Canada, you were always so sad." She paused, adding, "was he behind your sadness?"

Wow, it amazed me she'd noticed.

"Cameron was the reason I left London and accepted the job offer in Canada." I'd never told them my reasons.

"If he hurt you, why would you give him another chance?"

"It's complicated."

"You've let no one impede your career goals before."

She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Why can't I have both?"

"Love comes and goes. It's fickle by nature," she replied offhandedly. "But this opportunity that Sean and I offer will only come around once."

Six months ago, I might have considered their offer. To be on equal footing with Sean and his twin, Olivia would have been a dream come true. But now I wasn't even sure what my career goals were. Here At Peterson House, every opportunity had been because of Sean. Was I kidding myself into thinking I was better than what I really was?

It was time I found out. Stood on my own.

I also had to consider Cam and Finn. I didn't want to spend all my time in an office. Perhaps it was time to think about setting something up on my own. I would have the money from my parents' house sale to help get it up and running.

"What are you thinking?" asked Sadie.

I lifted my cup and blew over the top. "I'm not sure what I want anymore."

The only thing I was sure of was my feelings for the boys... my boys. I liked the sound of it. But what would they say about Sean and Sadie's offer?

I suspected they would both flip out.

And if I was honest, I already knew my answer. I just didn't know how to tell them.

"Take your time."

Again, two words I wouldn't have put together. Patience and Sadie. We were breaking all the rules today it seemed.

She rose from the table. "Today. I have arranged a day at the spa. Enjoy, relax, and Sean and I will see you tonight for dinner."

"Are you not coming?" Sean and Sadie had fingers in many pies. A string of exclusive spas naming but one.

"No." She smiled tightly but didn't elaborate.

Tension eased from my shoulders but returned just a quick as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek. "I'm happy you're home."

And there it was again...home. But this wasn't my home.

Home was Finn and Cam.

~ ~

As the car had pulled up outside the exclusive spa, I'd fired off one last message to Ivy, double checking she was okay and to ring me if she needed anything. Her reply had been to spend as much as Sadie and Sean's money as possible. I think she forgot they owned the place, but her tongue-in-cheek reply pulled a laugh from me.

Damn, I missed not being able to speak to her. We'd been joined at the hip for the last four years and although she was only a half-hour drive away, the distance seemed huge. But I wasn't dumping my issues on her. She had enough going on.

I'd messaged the boys telling them I would call when able to, using Ivy as the excuse. I hated keeping them in the dark, especially when I lectured them about trust and being open.

Hours later, I'd enjoyed a gold facial and then a diamond chakra massage. And now I was relaxing in an Evian heated bath as tendrils of steam whirled around me, filling the air like unfurling mist. easing the tension from my body. It was nice to have a little me time, and I lowered my eyelids and let myself float away.

Movement and a clearing of a throat had my eyes bursting open, and I almost slipped under the water, spluttering, planting my feet firmly on the bottom. I pushed the hair from my face. "Christ, you need a bell or something!" Dark eyes, sinful and alluring, stood watching me.

Sean.

Leaning up against the doorway with one hand in his pocket. "Where would the fun be in that?" He smirked.

My brows furrowed as irritation prickled along my wet skin. "How long have you been standing there...watching?" My tone was clipped and if it bothered him, he didn't show it.

"Long enough to appreciate the view."

I levelled him a stare. "Is Sadie with you?" I bit out, knowing my anger stemmed from what he'd done in London.

"As you can see." He gestured with one hand. "Just the two of us."

My eyes toured the room and I realised I'd not seen any other guests, but I'd been too preoccupied to notice. It wouldn't surprise me if they'd cancelled every other booking just for me.

My stomach took the opportune moment to rumble loudly.

Sean's eyebrow arched as he pushed off from the frame and snatched up a robe from the hook. He walked to the edge of the large sunken bath. "I think I need to feed you." He smiled, planting his feet wide, dangling the open robe and his eyes amused.

"I can get out of the bath without help or curious eyes."

"Indeed you can, but like I said, I enjoy the view."

In the past, I'd appreciated Sean's bluntness, but today his arrogance was grating on me. I rose from the bath, cursing my nipples for stiffening to peaks under his dark gaze.

I curled my fingers in on themselves as I ignored his appreciative look, turning away from him as he moved closer.

"Turn...and quit pouting Beatrix."

I wouldn't have called it pouting...scowling, perhaps.

Gritting my teeth, I slipped on the robe, wrapping myself in the fluffy warmth, fixing it securely. "Why Sean?" I turned to face him. "Why wait till I was out of the country to fire my staff?"

"Are you upset because I acted in the best interest of my company or because I fired Cameron Harte?" Authority rang through his tone.

I didn't answer.

"Does he mean something to you?"

There was no point in hiding the truth, or holding back the anger from my tone. "I'm upset because you undermined me, Sean. And yes, to answer the question, he does."

Sean stepped closer, and without shoes, I had to tilt my head. Gently, he moved a strand of hair from my cheek. I jerked away. But he was quicker. His hand reached around the back of my neck, clenching a fistful of hair at the roots, angling my head up.

My heartbeat instantly kicked into high alert, and his eyes caused a full body shiver.

"Let me go, Sean." My voice came out more breathy than intended.

"Not until you remember who you're talking to." His words weren't threatening. "And don't tell me you don't like this Beatrix. Your eyes never could lie to me."

A breath left me in a whoosh. I wouldn't deny Sean's presence had always affected me, but today it competed with my anger.

"You're not meant for him!" he growled.

The bloody nerve of the man.

"You were meant for me," I met him stare for stare, a smirk hovering over his mouth as he radiated desire, lust as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "Remember how good we were together, the three of us?"

And I suddenly became very uncomfortable with the blatant proposition his eyes offered.

Poker face.

I pressed a spread palm across his chest, the beats of his heart barely noticeable "You're right I won't lie, the sex was great. But that's all it was, Sean. Sex." An arrangement.

My words had zero effect.

"You may not feel it now, but in time you will be happier here in Canada."

I swallowed, a dull ache forming at my hair roots. "I can't feel something just because you want it."

His smirk said otherwise as he loosened his grip and stepped away. "I'll organise some food up on the roof terrace." His eyes worked themselves over my covered body, pausing on my feet. "Dress and come up."

The roof terrace. My cheeks heated. The last time I'd been up there, Sean had fucked me on the dessert table with Sadie feeding me strawberries.

Well today, I wasn't planning on eating from the dessert menu.

Muttering to myself, I took my sweet arsed time getting dressed, and as I took the lift to the top floor I wondered if Sadie would join us. I answered my question, stepping out. It was just Sean and me up here and a server busying themselves.

Sean rose as I approached the table. I wouldn't lie and say he didn't look sexy as hell today. He rarely wore casual clothes, but today he dressed in a white cotton shirt with chinos and beige loafers. My stomach lifted and my thighs clenched. His stare would make anyone drop to their knees. I never understood his influence over me.

"I ordered for you," he said.

Shocker... I refrained from rolling my eyes. "Sit, Beatrix." Sean sat, and a server pulled out my chair and another placed down my food.

Nova Scotian Lobster rolls greeted me.

He'd remembered my love of lobster and begrudgingly, it was what I would have ordered. Picking up my napkin, I draped it over my lap.

The server poured me a glass of water, but honestly I would have preferred a glass of white wine.

Or ten.

Picking up my fork I savoured my first mouthful with Sean watching, sipping his scotch. I bit back a moan as the succulent flavours danced over my taste-buds. It was delicious.

But my enjoyment was short-lived.

"Have you given our offer some consideration?"

I swallowed, the lobster suddenly bitter. "Please tell me you don't expect an answer right now?" I placed my fork down.

He arched his brow expectantly. "I'm not a patient man, Beatrix."

Dipping my eyes, I picked up my fork but did not eat. "Why now? What's changed?"

I heard the frown in his deep voice. "The reasons are of little consequence."

What? Lifting my eyes, I met his irritation. Sean didn't like to be questioned. "I beg to differ, and neither of you has ever brought it up before." He gave me an answer, but not one that gave me any new insight.

"There is nothing I won't do for her."

My eyebrows furrowed, everything became a little clearer. "This isn't something you want." It wasn't a question.

"Don't put words into my mouth, Beatrix."

"You're not exactly enthusiastic about it," I blustered. "Indifferent almost."

He didn't answer, and unease tumbled down spine. "Sean, this is a life-changing decision—for all of us." I pushed away the plate, my hunger gone. "And you're not warming me up to the idea that you want this."

"It shouldn't matter to you."

What? "Of course it bloody matters to me."

My reply baffled him, tilting his head. "Why? You will be compensated accordingly." He pressed back into his chair. "Is the offer not sweet enough for you?"

"Bloody hell Sean, I'm not rent-a-womb!" I bristled. "It's a baby we're talking about."

"I'm quite aware of what it is Beatrix."

It was time to be honest. I'd not been able to say no outright to Sadie. But Sean's indifference to the whole idea was pretty damn sobering.

Dropping the fork and lifting my napkin, I pushed out my chair, standing. "No." I shook my head. "I can't do this." The words leaving my mouth lifted the weight from my shoulders.

"Why ever not?" he asked calmly.

When I narrowed down the reason, it boiled down to one answer. "Because this would be part of me...my child." I'd never given thought to children, but when someone wanted to use my womb, it was all I'd thought about.

"Sadie and I aren't asking you to walk away. I want you with us on this. The three of us."

Sadie hadn't mentioned that. "Sean, neither you nor Sadie love me." And I didn't love them.

"I care for you, Beatrix...as does Sadie." His eyes softened. "I've missed you."

And for once, his tone wasn't arrogant or demanding.

I slowly sat back down. "Things have changed, Sean. I'm not the same person I was."

He eyed me carefully. "Are you referring to Mr Harte?"

"Yes, in part."

"What can he offer you, Beatrix?"

"Sean, this isn't about what he can offer me." I sighed, the heaviness returned to my shoulders. "I love him."

I could tell by the tick in his jaw and the tension in his neck it had been the wrong thing to say. "And you're willing to throw away your career ... everything for him?"

So that's what it came down to. If I didn't give them what they wanted, I would lose my job anyway. "You can't blackmail me."

"Everyone has a price, Beatrix. Name yours."

That was his reply. Name my price? Had he not listened to a word I'd said? "This isn't about money."

"Well, let me sweeten the deal for you."

What, was going to offer me diamonds perhaps?

"Cameron Harte."

Cam? I blinked and my heart leapt into my throat. "What about him?"

"Your decision will directly affect him... his career and the software he's developed."

I felt sick, cold fear warred with my anger. And he would know I'd spoken to Cam by now. "You have no claim over his software."

His mouth tipped up—not quite a smile. "Maybe..." he paused, and I lowered a hand to rest on my knee to stop it from bouncing. "But I can make it almost impossible for him to take it to market." He shrugged, lifting his scotch to take a sip. "All it takes is an injunction, a claim of intellectual property and I can tie it up in legal for years."

Shock exploded inside my lungs. "You wouldn't." I gasped.

His eyes blazed with fierce determination. "I can and I will. Money is not an issue for me, and I will drag him through litigation. No publishing house will touch him and he cannot market it himself."

My jaw dropped. "You would waste all that money and drag his name through the mud just to get what you want?"

I watched as he slowly straightened his shoulders, lowering his glass. "It's business Beatrix."

"So that's all I am? Business? My body for sale?"

He settled his glass on the table and leaned forward, reaching for my hand, but I snatched it away. "No Beatrix. You are more than that. You know I care for you."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I feel really cared for."

"This can all go away if you agree." He pushed out his chair, readying to stand. "I will sweeten it even more by offering Mr Harte the London office and help bring his software to market...for a cut, of course."

Of course.  My shoulders sagged.

"I will leave you to think about it but I trust you will make the right decision, Beatrix—for everyone." He rose and turned, effectively dismissing me.

Shit. Cam couldn't afford to fight a long drawn out battle in the courts. And this was just as much Finn's idea and hard work as his. And I didn't doubt Sean would keep his word.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuck. What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I wanted to call Ivy. No. I couldn't call her.

I was on my own.