~ ~ Finn ~ ~

Fuckin' hell.

My Trix was his Bea.  Fuck.  Of all the women I had to fall for.

Hang on—Fall?   What the?

I shook that thought straight out of my head, but the tightening across my chest clearly screamed I was falling for her, hard and fast.

But fuck, how fucked up was this situation? And what if I lost Cam. Another gripe of pain sliced right through me. Losing him wasn't an option I would entertain. But to lose both to each other would rip a hole I wasn't sure could be filled. True, I'd stopped pinning my hopes that Cam would ever feel something other than friendship, but to lose him to the woman I pictured a future with?

Fuck, fuck—triple fuck.

I searched his face, hoping for eye contact, but he looked everywhere apart from me. Trying to stem my thumping thoughts, I stopped thinking past what might happen, and handle what's right in front of me...and that was Cam stood not three feet away looking completely shell shocked, like I'd stolen the air from his lungs. His colour was draining faster than water down the drain with posture stiff as an ironing board. He was struggling to keep his shit together.

"Did Bea know?" he asked, stepping toward Ivy and further away from me.

Ivy wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "Know what?"

"About Finn and me. Flatmates. Us living together—everything?"

"How could she?" She blinked, shaking her head. "Look. I get it. You're a little thrown... both of you."

Cam scoffed as his hand clenched and unclenched by his side. It was a nervous tick. I'd seen him doing it the day I met him in the therapist's waiting room. And when he'd done it earlier at the table, I'd reached out without thinking to comfort him, reassure him.

By god, did I want to do that now. Reassure him it would be okay.

I would make it okay—somehow. Not entirely sure how, but he was the last person I would ever hurt intentionally.

Dragging my attention back to Ivy, she sucked in a breath. Pissed off wasn't close to describe the look on her face. If looks could melt skin. Damn, I could almost feel the heat radiating from her. The woman may have been tiny, but I knew she would pack a hell-of-a-punch... or breathe fire. I certainly wouldn't take bets against her.

But Cam didn't step down. His hands curled, waiting.

Ivy gathered herself. "If you think Trixie for one second would play some sick game with you—with you both. Then clearly you don't know her at all, Cameron Harte." She glared at him, daring him to answer back.

Shit, that woman had a mean stare.

"Now I strongly suggest. Sit. Your. Ass. Down!" She jabbed her finger toward the sofa. "We have a lot of ground to cover—and I'm on the clock. I don't have time to hold your hand and walk you through it." She huffed another breath. "We're hitting the ground running, boys. So either strap up and brace for impact, or scamper off to your bedroom and cry into your pillow."

The temperature dropped. If I blinked, I was sure I'd be back at school standing in front of my old science teacher. The meanest teacher in the whole of London. But nah, Ivy here—she made Ms Gregson look like a fucking teddy bear.

It was almost funny. "You don't do tact, Ivy?" I bit back my smirk.

Her gaze shot to me. "Baby, sue me. Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic."

She wasn't wrong. And I couldn't help but like her for it.

As I was already sitting, I couldn't see Cam's face, but from this angle his jaw twitched like a motherfucker. He grumbled, being the first time I'd ever seen him stumped for words. He turned toward me, but again no eye contact as he sat down.

His knee brushed against mine. A current, a vibe an energy of sorts passed between us. That wasn't unusual. It always did. When I first met Cam, I used to wonder if it was attraction or the spark of lust, but these days, I was familiar with it and took comfort in it. Assurance that no matter what happened between us, for me this thing was something real and one that I hadn't shared with another. In the past I'd hoped he might have felt it too, but now I was sure he never had, and I was okay with that.

Cam shifted, leaning his elbows on his knees, stretching his shirt across his back. I watched the muscles ripple along his back as he tensed. I knew mentally he was out on a ledge and freaking the fuck out.

Only thing was—would he jump? I usually had a good read on him, but not today. But then again, this situation was a first for us.

Ivy eyed us both, studying almost. Something streamed through those intense brown eyes. They teemed with questions. "Hmm, I'm sensing something here." Ivy's finger drifted between me and Cam.

"What?—Sensing what?" asked Cam, casting me a side glance as I shrugged.

Her eyebrows pinched. "Is there something between you two?"

Cam spluttered. "What the fuck makes you think that?" He turned sharply, eyes buggin' out. "What the fuck have you said?"

My hand shot up, "Hey, I've not said anything." Ouch, that fucking hurt. I knew he wasn't open for people to know what went on behind closed doors between us, but the sting to his question and the denial hurt more than I would like.

Ivy hummed. She obviously had more she wanted to say, but held back. Swishing her hand. "Fine, I haven't got time to delve into what's going on between you two. Now let's talk about my girl."

Cam shot up from the sofa. "I'm not happy to sit here and discuss Bea without her." He managed to come off petulant and self-righteous, I cringed on his behalf.

Ivy planted her hand on her hips, her expression darkening, forewarning. "Cameron, do you honestly think I would talk about my girl behind her back? One thing you will come to learn about me and Trixie. We are a team. What I know, she knows and vice-versa." She inhaled a calming breath and counted to three under her breath.

Continuing, she softened her tone, albeit slightly. "You don't think I know you rocked her world—both imploding and exploding her with that one kiss?" She turned to me. "And for one second don't think I don't know that you made her orgasm so many times, she looks permanently dazed and can't pee without wanting to cum again!"

A sense of pride and, I admit, just a touch of smugness washed through me as Cam turned and glared.

Fuck. I held my hand up in surrender. "Hey, c'mon, I didn't know she was Bea... the Bea—your Bea."

Cam growled. "I thought you said you hadn't fucked her?"

"I didn't, I swear."

"As I was saying." We both turned toward Ivy. "There are no secrets between me and Trix. She's my girl and I have her back—always."

Cam slowly sat back down, but tension remained set in his shoulders.

"Don't make me regret saluting team Cam, because you won't like me when I'm pissed off Cameron."

Every time she said his full name, my eyebrow quirked as I tried to stop a snigger from escaping. Yeah, childish, I know.   But you couldn't mistake Ivy's words. I'd heard and seen the respect and affection Trix held for Ivy. The way she'd spoken of her best friend clearly painted the picture they were close. Perhaps even involved in the past?

"The way I see it—we only have one problem here," she announced.

Cam turned to me as I shrugged.

Ivy clicked her fingers. "Over here, sunshine."

Cam's chest rose. "You have our full attention, Ivy," he said, clearly not masking his irritation. He had never been a fan of being told what to do.

"Good. Now. Your only problem—is what are you two sad sacks gonna do about it?"

We both looked at her blankly. She'd lost me.

She threw her hands up. "C'mon! She likes you both. Idea's people!" She muttered under her breath. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Cam turned to me. "You've spent more time with Bea than I have. So it's only fair that I get to spend some time alone with her and then we let Bea choose... simple," he said.

What? Did he want me to step back whilst he and Trix got to know one another again?

And if I did—would I then have a shot with her?

Cam was obviously the love of her life and when she found out he technically didn't cheat on her. I could safely assume she would forgive him and leave me in the dust.

I'd be left without her and without Cam.

Fuck!

Ivy snapped. "Un-fucking-believable. Cameron Harte, I know for a fact you're not stupid and the way Trix talks about you, she clearly thinks you're a genius! So, I'm gonna go out on a limb and summarise you're having a mental fuck-fart and in shock, which is making you say dumbass things."

"What the fuck are you trying to say?" Cam bit back.

Ivy shook her head. "You can't ask her to choose."

"Why the fuck not. Seems the only rational and fair thing to do." He looked at me, hoping I would agree.

"God, give me strength. I might need something stronger than this." Ivy reached for her beer, chugging it down like a pro. "Better." She put the bottle down and composed herself. "Explain to me Cameron, why should she have to choose?"

"What, so you expect me and Finn to do what? Fight it out between us and the winner gets the girl?"

She tsked, rolling her eyes.

"You would so lose in a fight." I was trying to lighten the mood... shouldn't have made that mistake.

His head practically spun. "Don't bet on it." There was a tiny catch in his voice. It could have been a swallow, or a pause to breathe, but the sharpness of his reply caught me by surprise.

"Hey sparky. Chill the fuck out!" spat Ivy, blowing out a breath. "Did your mother not teach you anything?"

We both stared. "Well, my mother always taught us to share." She grinned, her eyebrows wiggling.

I didn't bother to hide my amusement as a slight chuckle escaped—perhaps bad timing as Cam's face reddened and not with embarrassment.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he fumed.

Yeah. He was about to jump off that ledge.

"Bea is not a fucking toy, or a car-share or whatever the fuck else you could share. How could you even suggest it? There's no way she would go for that." He shook his head adamantly. "No. not Bea!"

Ivy laughed, but it was anything but amused. "Let me tell you something, Cam. Trixie is very different from the woman you knew four years ago." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Take my word for it. Trixie would happily share two hot guys."

Cam's mouth opened, then slammed shut, sitting quietly absorbing her words.

"And my girl deserves all the love she can get. And look at you two. He's a walking orgasm." She winked at me. "And as much as you're pissing me off right now, Cam, you're sexy and fucking hot!" She reached for her beer and downed the rest without pause. "So yeah, what woman would turn down the opportunity to be with you two?" She paused. "Personally, I'm more of a two girls to one guy scenario. Two cocks seem a little greedy to me." She shrugged. "But meh, each to their own."

"Has Bea done this before," he swallowed, "—been with two men?" His voice cracked.

Ivy shook her head. "Look, I've already given away too much of what floats my girl's boat, and she's gonna be pissed. I'd promised not to meddle." Her phone buzzed as she reached for it. "The rest is for you to figure out."

I interrupted. "Trixie... Bea." I stopped myself. We needed to pick one name. "Trixie's last relationship involved a husband and a wife—she was their third."

He shot up again from his seat. He was staring to resemble a fuckin' jack-in-a-box. "What?"

I shrugged. "It's true. She told me herself. I think your Bea, my Trix is bi."

"Bea is bisexual?!"

He slumped back down.

"You have a problem with that?" asked Ivy

"No, but Jesus. I never—Christ." I reached over and squeezed his shoulder. He flinched, then relaxed. "Fuck, I need a drink." He stood, heading out of the room.

It was obvious he was in shock. The woman who'd left him four years ago had explored many sides to her sexuality. And this was a lot for him to take in. Change didn't sit well with Cam. But whilst he was out of earshot, I lowered my voice asking the burning question. "So, you honestly think Trix wants us both?"

Ivy grinned wickedly. "I somehow knew you would be easier to convince." She peeked toward the kitchen. "You've gonna have your work cut out getting him to remove that giant stick from his ass."

"He loves her, cut him a little slack, Ivy."

Ivy huffed. "Yeah, and that's the only reason I haven't slapped the shit out of him."

Cam came back through with a bottle of whisky and three small glasses. "Help yourself."

"Sorry boys, on that bombshell I have to love and leave you both. I'm already late." She stared at Cam for a second. "Cam, walk me out."

He looked at me, hesitated, but then followed her out.

A few minutes later, he returned with a phone in his hand. "Is that Trixie's phone?"

"Yeah, Ivy's asked me to nip it round and drop it off." Annoyance pricked my gut. Why hadn't she asked me?

Was I just going to be a bit of fun until she'd had enough and then pick Cam?

"What else did she say?"

"Said I should be thankful she's throwing me a lifeline." His eyes met mine. "You know, with me cheating." He emphasised the cheating with air quotes.

But I knew for sure, once he told her truth, that would leave nothing to stand in their way and what? Start up from where they left off?

A rush of urgency passed through me. I could sit by and leave it to the fates or try to convince Cam this could work before I lost them both. "Look, I know this is freaking you out. Talk to me, Cam."

He reached for the whisky, unscrewing the cap and pouring out a large measure. "Want one?" He offered the bottle.

"Nah, I'm good." My head needed clarity. "It's not like we haven't already shared." We'd shared a couple of women, but only Mel had been a regular thing. But that didn't happen as often as I would have liked.

His thick, straight eyebrows sloped together. "It's not the fucking same, Finn. This is Bea, not some casual hook-up." He's about exhausted every ounce of control he has—he's either gonna punch me or kick me in the nuts.

Damage control. "I know she's not some casual hook up. I think I've made it pretty clear how I feel about her. She's leaves quite the impact, and I honestly want to see where it goes."

We stood feeling each other out, but slowly his face softened and his shoulders dropped, giving me an opening. "Don't you want to at least try it? You want her. I want her and if Ivy's right—she wants us. Seems like simple maths to me."

My gaze dropped to the carpet. I knew I wanted to give it a shot. I wanted Trix any way I could get her, in my bed, in my life. And although I'm not saying this out loud. I'm hoping I get to keep my boy too.

And who knows Trixie might like the idea of two guys together?

Wow, I mentally slap myself. One step at a time. But hey, a guy can dream.

My gaze crawled up Cam's tall frame until I met his eyes. He took a lifetime to say something. Every rise and fall of his chest made it harder for me to breathe. I wished I could crawl inside his head and know exactly what's going on inside there.

"Because," he said, "Shit like this never works out long term." He rubbed his hand on his defined jaw, his stubble scratched against his skin. "I need to talk to Bea. I'm gonna change and head over there."

He drained the last of his whisky and I was left standing alone. I wanted to go with him, but I know that's not an option and just hope neither of them shut me out.  Fuck my life.