~ ~ Beatrix ~ ~

I stared at the numbers... again, groaning. The budgets clearly screamed that my overheads required trimming and that meant only one thing—head count. It would need to be reduced.

It appeared Mark, my predecessor, had clearly not had his head in the game for the last two years.

Shit.

First thing tomorrow I would look at a reshuffle, restructuring two departments, this would give me an idea of who I would let go. It was the part of the job I least enjoyed, but sadly a necessity.

My head lifted from the papers to the sound of someone at our door. Ivy? Had she forgotten her key?

Nah, glancing at the time, it was too early. Oddly, I hadn't heard the buzzer. Which leant itself to one conclusion—it had to be a neighbour.

Could it be Estelle? Ivy's friend or there was a guy, two doors down. Grant or Greg? Whatever, clearly I wasn't dressed for visitors, and my hair was piled on top of my head, a frizzy mess since I'd showered.

Bollocks. Oh well, perhaps just a peep through the spy hole and then ignore whoever was standing on the other side.

Creeping toward the door, Christ knows why, because I was wearing my favourite giant bunny slippers, and they don't make a sound. I peeped through the tiny hole. Like the snap of a pair of fingers, tension shifted through my body.

Fuck!

I jumped back, leaving my stomach at the door. The last person I expected to see was standing there.

Cameron Harte. I snagged my bottom lip between my teeth, mind racing with questions.

How did he know where I lived? And why the fuck was he here... this late? I approached the door and peeped again. At the same time, he knocked, and I squeaked, covering my mouth.

"Bea?" His muffled voice came through the door.

Fuck.

"Ivy asked to come."

Ivy? When had she asked him to come here... and more to the point, why hadn't she told me?

"Please, let me inside, Bea."

I reached for the handle, then pulled away as if burned.

"I have your phone."

I shook my head. His statement baffled me - my phone? Would he lie to get me to open the door?

Don't be so fucking stupid.

Taking a breath, I opened the door. A slow smile spread across his face as his eyes went down. "Cute." His head tipped down, looking at my feet. Great, I'm standing in giant bunny slippers, wearing my bed shorts and a tiny tank-top. Crap, I didn't even have a bra on.

Oh well, I couldn't do sod all about it now. I refocused on him. And damn him, he was wearing his glasses—he'd listened. And oh boy, sexy didn't even come close. What was it with a man in glasses? Ivy always said I had some weird, nerdy Clark Kent to Superman fantasy in my head.

She wasn't wrong as I pictured him tearing his t-shirt off.

A shiver ran the length of me as my eyes slid over the rest of him. I'd noticed how hot he looked earlier in his suit but here, stood in jeans and a grey fitted t-shirt. The needle began to rise. The man could turn a smart girl stupid, thats for sure.

Head in the game Trix—head in the game. I gave my head a little wobble, pointing my finger toward his hand. "I'm not getting why or how—?"

He interrupted, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ivy called at the flat, but she was running late—"

It was my turn to interrupt. I held my hand up to stop him. "Wow! Stop and step up. You had my phone at your flat?"

He quietened for a second as if thinking. Even in his dark rimmed glasses, his intense eyes drank me in. And his eyes on me always stirred something... Feelings.

Stop it Trix. It was dangerous to feel anything for this man.

"No," he replied. "Finn had your phone at our flat." There was something about the way he said it, his voice was full of discomfort.

What the? He knew Finn!? My stomach took a hit.

Cam reached around his back pocket, pulling out my phone, he offered it, and I awkwardly reached out and took it. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Bollocks! No, no, no. I nodded.

He closed the door, following me into the living room. I spun around to face him, his head shot up, obviously he'd been checking out my arse. "Can you just wait here?" I didn't wait for an answer as I left him, making a dash to my bedroom. Closing the door, heart beating out of my chest, I raised my mobile and hit Ivy's number.

A few seconds later, her voice came through the phone as I walked further into my room. Background noise muffled her voice. "Ivy." I whispered.

"Hang on." She yelled, almost bursting my ear drum. I waited, foot tapping, stomach doing the four-metre sprint. "I'm guessing Cam has arrived?"

Pressing a hand to my hip. "What the fuck is going on Ivy?" I whisper, shouted.

A sharp intake of breath followed. "Okay. Quick version. Cam and Finn share a flat, live together and before you ask—No, I didn't know. Next and you can kick when I get home, but I sorta spilled that you're a little kinky and they should get their heads around sharing you." She blew out a breath.

"What!?" I screeched, glancing over my shoulder, hoping he couldn't hear me.

Ivy continued. "Yeah, but look at it this way, saves you time and any awkwardness."

I paced the room, almost tripping in my huge bunny slippers.

"C'mon... breathe Trix. You were gonna tell them about each other. This way stops all the bullshit—and now they already know your two-guy fantasy... sorta."

"Jesus—Ivy. Fuck!"

She scoffed. "C'mon it's not like I told them you wanna be spitroasted or anything." She took a breath as my mouth hung open, head spinning. "You can thank me later."

Thank her... how about hang, draw and quarter her! "Jesus Christ! Is there anything else I should know?"

Fuck!

"Nope, I think that just about covers it," she answered in a blasé manner like she forgot to pick up the dry cleaning or some other mundane shit.

Fuck, Jesus. Shit, shit, shit!

"Anyway, I gotta go, don't be mad. Think of this as the ideal opportunity. You get two hot guys, and everyone gets what they want." She giggled. "Christmas cums early. Get it?" She laughed, apparently thinking she's funny. How many drinks has she had? No doubt she'll fall into my bed later, cuddling me telling me how much she loves me. I can't help but smile at that. Drunk ivy is annoying but cute.

But getting back to my problem. Sharing... sharing me! I wouldn't deny I felt a stirring and warming between my thighs. Who wouldn't? But honestly, Cam sharing me? Highly doubtful. "I will kill you later."

Ivy laughed, and I could clearly picture the smug look that would be sitting on her face right about now. "Nah, you won't. You love me."

I huffed. "Fine, I won't kill you only because it's really hard to find good personal assistants."

"—And best friends." She smugly pointed out.

I grumbled. "And... best friends." Damn, this woman had me wrapped around her little finger. "But do this again Ivy, and will I kill one of your nine lives!"

"Pinkie promise." Yeah, like a little thing of a pinkie promise would stop her. I shook my head ending the call, throwing my phone on the bed.

Right. Cam's in my living room. Taking three deep breaths. I kicked off my bunny slippers, looking cute had to go as I rushed to my drawers dragging out a jumper, pulling it over my head to hide my nipples that had basically been screaming suck me from the moment I opened the door. He didn't need to know the affect he had on me. Right, Game face, Trix.

I reached my door and froze, holding the handle. Fuck! What should I say? And did he know about earlier, between me and Finn? And right after he kissed me too.

I'm right back to wanting to strangle Ivy.

But I can't hide in here and hope he just leaves—could I?

No, I must be a grownup. Thank him for bringing my phone. Tell him the kiss was a mistake, and it's nothing to do with him what I get up to with Finn... his flatmate... and, more likely, his friend.

But why did it leave me feeling empty? Because you still love him! My crazy inner voice answered.

I couldn't deny the kiss had ripped a hole in the idea of thinking I could work with him and not feel anything. Ivy's idea of sharing popped into my head. No. that's a stupid idea. There was more of a chance of me being kidnapped by aliens.

I jumped as he tapped on my bedroom door. Fuck!

"Bea?"

"Coming!" I squeaked.

I stepped back and opened the door. Cam looked skeptical. "Sorry, I just needed to speak with Ivy. Who I will kill later." A strangled laugh escaped.

Cam pushed his glasses up. "It's a surprise, huh?"

Damn straight. "One of many today."

"Are you okay?"

Was I okay, yes, no... who the fuck knew? I swallowed, shrugging. "Ask me again when I get my head around it."

He stepped up to me, forcing me to tip my head up to meet his dark grey eyes. "You left. Right after I kissed you." He reached out and pushed a stray curl behind my ear. "I still can't believe you're here."

He made my breath catch and my heart flutter.

Stupid heart!

"In the flesh, living, breathing." I replied, trying to ignore the spark I'd felt when his finger brushed against my skin. "You took me by surprise."

He dropped his hand. "I guess it's been a surprising day all round?" His eyebrow cocked.

He could say that again. He stepped back. "Look." He stopped and my heart carried on marching. And even with the small gap, the air between us was heavy, stifled with intensity. It had always been this way. Emotionally, we were tied... glued for what a better word.

His eyes dropped for a second, but as he looked up again something sexual lingered and my thighs clenched, and my toes curled.

He shook away whatever he was thinking. "Look, I know we need to talk about what happened before you left and I—no, I want to tell you. I do—"

His cheating had totally slipped my mind—how the fuck did that happen? One kiss and I was back on the Cam train, full speed ahead. "Why did you—cheat?" Blurted out.

He stood, brow furrowing as pain flashed in his eyes. "I didn't cheat Bea." He shook his head. When I saw you that day, I was trying to process something." He stopped.

Process what? And did he say he didn't cheat? "I don't understand why hurt me. You ripped my heart out, Cam." My words forced him to wince. "Be honest with me, Cam."

The pain on his face deepened as I forced my hands to my side. It was hard not to reach out and comfort him—but comfort him for what? It was clear this was hard for him and something was seriously troubling him.

"I was fucking stupid to say what I did, rather than tell you the truth, but I fucking swear, Bea, I didn't cheat. I would never—"

"Then what? Tell me." I'm almost begging. "Trust me."

His eyes fell closed as his hands scrubbed over his face, pushing them back through his hair. "Please Bea, I do trust you and I will tell you."

Silence fell between us.

I threw my hands up. "Hasn't four years been long enough?"

His eyes stayed down. "I've had this conversation with myself so many times." He sighed. "Please. All I'm asking is you give me a chance to make this right." His eyes lifted. "Give me a chance."

Head's spinning. I didn't know what to think or feel.

Cam continued, "I know you felt something when I kissed you. It's still there, Bea." He stepped toward me.

I took three slow steps back. He wasn't wrong, but if he's not willing to share his secret. Then I'm confessing fuck-all till he does. I stopped, folding my arms over my chest. Hoping it makes a clear statement for him to keep his distance.

It worked. Although it weirdly pissed me off. Why wasn't he pushing forward, hell, kissing me again?

Fuck, I'm confusing myself. What the hell was I thinking?

"I'm not giving up, Bea. I can't let you run again."

It's wrong, but the crazy part of my brain did a happy dance. "It's not up to you, Cam. You can't rewind and go back to how it was. Life doesn't work that way." My voice hitched. "I don't work that way."

"I know!" He slowly nodded his head. "I know things are different. You're different and I'm different. We're different people now. But I don't want to pretend that there isn't something here between us." His eyes bled, pleading with me.

Did I want this? I'd come back home with one intention. To carve a name for myself fin the publishing world. A relationship was not part of the plan. True, a little fun on the way killed no one. But with Cam, it could never be just fun. Throw in the small inconvenience of knowing he owned my heart—always had, and most likely always would.

No, I shake my head. "I don't think I can do this. I've come back to focus on my career. Not to jump into a relationship with you."

He fired a question back. "Do you want a relationship with Finn?" Anxiety and confusion tightened across his shoulders.

Ah, Finn. I'd almost forgotten they knew each other.

"You like him."

It wasn't a question. But honestly, yes. And a little more than I should. In just a few days he's blurred the lines of it being just fun.

I dropped my hands as Cam's eyes studied me. "Ivy said some things," he muttered but I didn't respond.

"I don't want to lose you again, Bea. And I get your career is important. But surely there's enough room for both?" He stepped up again, closing the gap and I didn't move. "I'm willing to—"

He's willing to what? "What?"

"I can share, if it means I get another chance."

Fucking hell. "I'm not the same—"

He cut me short. "I know. I just want the chance to get to know who you are now. And, whatever way, you'll give me that chance."

He can't be serious. This isn't the Cam I knew. "I don't believe you."

"Finn's a good guy. The best. And if you give me another chance but then choose to be with him." He paused. "Then you couldn't do better than him. He's a great guy Bea."

If his words stunned me, its the emotion pouring from them that hit me harder. But still I'm gonna stand my ground. I would not make this easy.

"So. You would be okay with me fucking Finn, your friend, and then what? Coming to your bedroom and fucking you?" I didn't stop there. "Or what if I want to fuck him with you watching? Could you handle that, Cam? Another man with his cock inside me, making me scream as I beg him to fuck me harder?"

I can see I've pushed his buttons. His nostrils flared, his face reddening. I think he's just about reached his limit.

But I'm not done—not even close. I step up to him, running a finger over his chest, down further my hand skimmed across his groin, surprised to find him sporting a semi.

Perhaps he's a little turned after all? But would he admit it?

Well, if he wants to play my game. Then he plays it my way. "The girl you remember. The one who would happily let you take the lead, decide how and when." I brought up my hand to trace my finger across his lips. "That girls gone. Today, I don't ask. I take."

His eyes met mine as I moulded my hand around his growing erection. He took a deep breath and licked his lips. "Do you know what I want right now, Cam?"

He didn't answer with words, but his eyes filled with lust. "I want this." I popped the button on his jeans, lowered his zipper. "Don't move!" I instructed.

Cam's Adam's apple shifted slowly up as my hand slipped inside and he tensed, his jaw clenching.

Bringing my other hand down, I pushed his jeans and boxers down. Free from any restriction, I had his dick's full attention, gripping the hard length and slowly pumped once...twice. He needs to see exactly how different I am. I would never have done this four years ago. I was shy, quiet.

Dropping to my knees, gripping him a little tighter, I licked across his head, drinking in his pre-cum. He still had a great dick, just like I remembered. Nice. And Weirdly, I'd never forgotten the taste of him, all male and musky and so fucking sexy, the ache between my thighs intensified.

"Jesus, fuck," slipped from his mouth as he groaned and I sucked his head inside my mouth... just the head, tilting him every so slightly up, so I watch him staring down. Shock and desire stared back and I let go, licking across my lips but keeping my hand around the base, adding pressure to hear him suck in a breath.

"You want to fuck my mouth Cam?" He'd never heard me speak this way... no, I was a good girl—once.

His eyebrows shot into his hairline. Seems I may have stunned him.

"Yes!" he replied, his eyes darkening. Does he think its going to be that easy?

"Ask to fuck my mouth, Cam." I teasingly licked again but my eyes never left his.

He blinked and for a brief moment, I thought he was going to tell me to stop. "I want my cock in here." He ran his fingers across my lips as my mouth opened and I sucked in his finger.

Did he just whimper?

I'm about to make him beg when he jumped headfirst into the game. "That sexy mouth of yours is fucking sinful and I want you to suck me off whilst I fuck it." His words were blunt, unapologetic.

And fucking hot! I think I nearly orgasmed from his words alone. Fuck! This was not the Cam I remembered. Seems two can play the filth game. And this version of him... it would make it harder for me to walk away.

Which begs the question. Do I continue? Or get up and ask him to leave.

Fuck it.

I want to continue; I want to be here on my knees with him fucking my mouth. I let go of his finger, as he slid it across my cheek into my hair, pulling my mouth towards him.

I open and happily accept... and this time I take him down to the point where I have to relax my throat to take in more. Although it would never be the entire way, he's always measured up in the dick department. But then again, I'd gotten so much better at giving head since I last went down on him.

"Fuckin' hell, Bea," he said as his breath hitched, gripping my hair tighter.

I choked a little, but it doesn't slow me down as I suck like a champ and his hips pump to match my rhythm and my free hand gripped his thigh.

"Bea..." he said, his voice tight but soft. Now cursing, thrusting his hips. I cupped his balls to feel them pull up against him. "Hmmm." I moaned with my mouth stuffed full. He's close.

Any second...

"Fuck, Shit... Fuck." And more fucks followed as he threw his head back and flooded my mouth with his creamy cum bursting full of vitamin C, I might add.

I couldn't help but feel smug and satisfied. I don't think that lasted longer than a few minutes.

Slowing down, I massaged his balls as he relaxed, his breaths were deep as he shivered, and freed his fingers from my hair. He softened in my mouth as I reluctantly let him go.

"That—" He blew out a breath, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Fuck."

My thumb captures some stray cum and I sucked it off. I wasn't lying when I said he tasted great, it's like a bedtime snack without the calories... Well, very few, anyway.

"Fuckin' hell, Bea, you are so good at that." He swallowed. "—Different."

He doesn't want to know how I got good at it. He helped me to my feet. "Like I said. I'm not the same person."

My eyes sneaked down as I bit back a laugh.

"What?" he said.

"You can pull up your pants."

'Oh, yeah." he grinned and pulled up his boxers and pants.

I'd made my decision. "Fine, you get your shot. And yes, it means you will have to share, because I do like Finn." Better to be up front and honest. "And if I see or hear any jealousy. Then it ends." He mulled over my words. "That's my terms, Cam. Take it or leave it."

His smile erupted in one comer and then lifted his whole mouth. "I want this."

I turned away to head to my bathroom. "Oh, and Cam." I didn't look back.

"Yes?"

"I will not wait long; you have one week to explain what happened four years ago. You won't get a third chance."

I didn't wait for his reply as I reached the bathroom. "Let yourself out... and thanks for returning my phone."

Inside the bathroom, I closed the door, leaning up against it, finally letting out the biggest breath.

What the fuck was I doing?