~ ~ Cameron ~ ~

Never again.

Raising my heavy eyelids halfway, they fell back shut as my brain was about to swell beyond the capacity of my skull.

Kicking off the duvet, my phone pinged with a message as I scrubbed my hand over my face, forcing my eyes open to shift my head to catch the time.

Bollocks!

Whoever invented sunlight was a bitch as it streamed through the partly closed curtains. Squinting, it was barely past eight on this delightful Sunday morning.

Peeling my tongue from the roof of my mouth, I couldn't ignore the dehydration any longer.  And slowly shifted my legs over the side of bed to hear my phone ping again.

Who at this unholy hour was texting me? Blearily, I reached for my glasses, pushing them up. It's a message from my sister. 

Shit, pulling off my glasses, dropping them next to me. I moved to quick forcing me to lean forward, bracing my elbows on my knees, dropping my head into my hands.

Urgh!

Why did I drink so much last night?  Oh, yeah, I remember I was feeling sorry for myself.

My ears pricked. What in the—? 

Was that music?

It could only be Finn, but I hadn't expected him back till dinner, assuming he would have crashed at Melissa's or one of our friends'.

Feeling woozy, a wave of nausea added to my misery. Naked, I pushed up and followed the god-awful sound.

It was coming from my flat-mates' room. Not bothering to knock, as Finn didn't know the meaning of privacy and over the years, his bad habits had rubbed off on me. 

Scanning the room and his messed-up bed, he wasn't there. 

Daft bugger had forgotten to switch off his radio-alarm.  Dodging his bombsite of a room, I make my way around his bed and hit the off button.

If I'd had been in a better frame of mind, I might have tried to tidy round, but my bladder screamed to be emptied as I made my way to our bathroom.  Flipping the toilet seat up, I hoped I was aiming in the right direction.

Washing my hands, I debated heading back to bed. 

Nah... too much to do.

Opening the bathroom cabinet, I grabbed the bottle of painkillers.

Shit!  Empty

I grabbed the glass next to the sink and poured some water, knocking it back. 

Flipping the shower on, I wondered where Finn had ended up last night. A few of us had met up in town and Melissa, one of Finn's regular hook ups, had turned up around ten, no doubt looking for a little fun.  And normally, I would have happily indulged in that little threesome. Melissa had the same hair colour and style as my ex-girlfriend, Bea and from behind I could easily slip into the pretence of four years earlier.

I know, pathetic, right? 

Bea... the second her name entered my head; her face flooded my thoughts and the usual stirrings mixed with regret played through my mind.

I'd crushed her.  Five untrue words sealed my fate.  And she'd run. 

Technically, ran is an understatement.  She left the fucking country.  Quitting everything here, including all her social media, so I couldn't even stalk her to try to win her back. 

Catching my reflection in the mirror, I ran my hand across my unshaven chin.  Christ, I needed a shave.  I looked shit, accepting that my thirty-one-year-old body couldn't handle its alcohol like it did when it was twenty-four.

I groaned, reaching for my toothbrush whilst torturing myself, replaying the last time I'd seen her.  That face and those damn sexy fuck me eyes.

I'd known from being a kid that I'd wanted to marry her. She'd followed me around, hanging on to my every word, and I'd made it my number one goal in life to make sure she was happy.

Yeah, you fucked that one up, didn't you? Moron.

I shook my head.  For god's-sake man—quit it. It was four years ago.  She wasn't coming back.

Although I always hoped it was possible.

Yeah, right—on the twelfth of never, and Elvis was still alive and kicking.

Time to move on.  No doubt she had.  Probably married or living with some bloke because women like Bea Anders never stayed single for long.

And me?  Well, I'd not been the slightest bit interested in a serious relationship since.

Instead, I'd thrown myself into my career, and stupidly thought it had paid off, till ten days ago when I was told some big shot from Canada was handed Mark's job... my job.

A fucking Canadian.

It was time I sorted my shit out.  Look for a new job and move on and stop living in the past.

Yanking the shower curtain back, I stepped in and within seconds my pep talk was head-butted by the past as Bea resurfaced, triggering the same response as always. Lust seized my brain, Blood headed south, my skin tightened and my dick—well, he was predictable.  Hard in an instant.  

I couldn't deny she was still number one in my spank bank.  It always started out innocent with images of her smile, the way she would bite down on her bottom lip whilst pushing her hair behind her ear.  Her soft baby-blues giving me the clear come-on... which quickly escalated to her being naked, pressing her flawless body against mine.  The silkiness of her skin and the delicate curve of her back as I wrapped my arms around her, two pieces of the same whole slotting together.

Made for each other.

She was perfect and still I wasn't completely able to let her go.  Bea was the drumbeat in my blood and the memory of her never failed to kick start my arousal. The image of her lips parting, me sliding my hand between her soft thighs. Reaching the place I labelled heaven and her begging me to stop tormenting her sweet little clit was today's memory until I was rudely interrupted.

The door to the bathroom slammed open, and a draft ran up my legs. "Jesus, you shit the bed— you're up early!"

And here was the man himself—Finn.

Finn was like a cyclone and when he entered the room, it left nothing untouched. But it was too damn early to listen to his antics of the night before. "I could say the same of you." 

It was rare for Finn to be up on a Sunday before eleven.

Silence, before he gargled his reply. "Yeah, got in around two and then headed back out at five."  He was brushing his teeth.

I realized I would not have my few minutes with Bea. Looking down at my dick, he got the memo and lost some of his enthusiasm.

Finn gurgled out a string of words I couldn't make out.  My head shot up. "What?"

He emptied his mouth.  "I said you were flat out when I got home."

Flat out... more like passed out.

I honestly didn't know how Finn did it? The man had endless amounts of energy. Surprised, he tugged the shower curtain to one side, smiling like the cat got the cream.

"What the fuck, Finn?" I nearly slipped. "A little privacy, yeah?"

He was apparently too excited to wait his turn.  He may have been touching thirty, but he was like a perpetual teenager. Peter-fucking-pan.

He laughed, toeing off his trainers and efficiently stripping off.  "Sorry, didn't scare you?"  He wasn't sorry as he pushed himself in front of me, stealing my water and my space. "Move over."

"Hey, I was here first."

"You take forever in the shower. Longer than my two sister's and mother combined.  It's quicker to just join you."  The water ran over his face. He wasn't wrong, but it wasn't because I enjoyed showering.  It was the place that Bea followed me, which led me to masturbating in the shower.

Would she forever haunt me?

He continued. "And we're saving water.  Good for the environment and all that shit."  He was still grinning.

I wasn't in the mood to start my day worrying about polar bears. "Saving the environment isn't on my list of things to do today. I need some me time."  In other words - fuck off, Finn.

He ignored the hint. So I just gave in.  "Fine, what made you so happy?"

His grin widened.  "I never got a chance to tell you last night. I met someone yesterday and this morning we met up for a run."

His words went in one ear and out the other. With him so close, my dick twitched, hoping to resume his morning work-out.  And no surprise with Finn stood naked in front of me, he was back in the game.

Finn looked down.

"What?" 

"I see someone needs my attention first."  His hand closed around my dick and, with one smooth stroke, got even harder.  And any thoughts of asking him to let me shower alone flew from my head. 

"Fuck."  My toes curled as my Adam's apple slowly bobbed.

"You were saying... hmm?" Cocky bastard smirked at me.

I groaned and slammed my palm against the shower wall as the familiar feeling crashed through my morning senses.  I tried not to thrust in his hand but failed as my body reacted without thought and my hips shunted forward, and his hand tightened his grip.

Finn leaned in and ran his tongue up the side of my throat. "Relax, I got you." He whispered against my sensitive skin as my heart rate sped up.

And I couldn't stop the desperate, needy noises coming from my mouth.

"Fuck, yeah, give it to me Cam. There's my boy."

His hand reached up, slipped behind my neck as he roughly pulled my mouth to his. I let all my control go and kissed him back, enjoying thrusting into his tight fist. 

Fuck. 

Perhaps I had needed this more than I'd realized and wondered if he'd fucked Melissa last night.

I gave in to the breathless pleasure as every coherent thought evaporated and the pressure built in my balls and like a tidal wave; I came all over Finn's hand, who continued to stroke me until I hissed through my teeth as the sensitivity of my dick became too much.

"Fucking hell." I relaxed against the shower wall and Finn leaned in and kissed me gentler this time as I realized this was the best antidote to any hangover.

Who needed pills?

~ ~

Dried and dressed in sweats, I pulled my t-shirt over my head as I made my way through to the kitchen, heading straight for my girl... my Nespresso Espresso. The one thing I couldn't live without.

And she never let me down as I slotted in a capsule. The aroma of her double espresso relaxed me in ways I couldn't explain to a sane person.

Finn wandered in a few minutes later, grabbing his mug from the cupboard.  "Stick one in for me when you're done."  Sitting himself down, reaching for his laptop.

I picked up a cappuccino pod for Finn. He couldn't take his coffee rich and black like me. 

I sat opposite, sliding his drink toward him.  "Cheers."

"Tell me again, what got your arse out of bed this morning...or who?"

"Yeah, a potential new client. I'm putting a plan together for her now." His eyes remained glued to the screen.

I shook my head, "I don't know how you do it - in for two and then back out for five."

His head popped up.  "Listen old man, I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead."

"Cheeky bastard... I'm only a year older than you!"

He winked as his eyes dropped back to his task.

"So you and Melissa hook up last night?"

"Nah, after you caught a cab home, I caught up with Mike. Him and Claire got back from their honeymoon on Wednesday."

Jesus, at this rate, all our friends would be settled and out of the game.  I didn't see that happening to either Finn or myself.

I'd met Finn four years ago in the waiting room of the therapist my sister had insisted I see.  Hailey had said I was in denial about what had happened and losing Bea. 

She wasn't wrong. 

But I also wasn't ready to talk to some stranger about what had gone down.  Our eyes kept meeting across the room, and he wore the same expression on his face that sat on mine. We were both being forced into something we weren't ready for.

Both standing at the same time.  Finn spoke first, asking if I wanted to get out of there and grab a drink.

Unsure why I agreed, nodded and followed him out.

From there, neither of us ever made it to therapy as we spilled our hidden shame. Neither judging the other. He was easy to talk to, and we started meeting up and training together.

Weird thing, when we met, he was a software developer but two years ago he gave it up to become a personal trainer.

He was my best friend... and yeah, fuck buddy. Hands down, he was the best stress relief I'd come across.

It worked because we didn't have to swap feelings, although Finn would admit to being Bi.  I hadn't labelled myself.  I always thought I'd have another shot with Bea. 

So much so that I hadn't been able to look past it and consider anyone... or anything else. 

Although I had tried—believe me, I'd tried.

I scrubbed my hands through my hair, raising my eyes to the ceiling.

"What's with you?"  Another thing about Finn, he could read my moods like a newspaper. "You okay?"

I blew out a puff of air. "New boss. Prick, starts tomorrow."

"Shit, sorry Cam, I forgot."

"Thinking I need to move on—it's time." I picked up my coffee. "He's welcome to it."

"Sucks."

It did. "Worked my arse off to have some wanker from Canada slide right in."  Pissed off didn't even describe how I felt about it.  "It was mine.  Had it in the bag.  I'd beat Thom and Harriet hands down at the interview."  Reigning in my bitterness, I took a mouthful of coffee. Change of subject.  "So tell me about this someone new... Client you said?"

He perked up, giving me his full attention.  "Yeah, and man, she's—" he paused.

"What? Don't hog, you know I live vicariously through you."

"She's something else, Cam."

"And..." Jesus, it wasn't normally this difficult to extract information.

"Hot. But not in just a sexy hot kinda way. More of a get lost in her for days kinda way. Beautiful."

Well, this was new.

"Man, I'm telling you, she has the prettiest eyes."

"What?" I spluttered, laughing. "Eyes, you noticed her eyes?"

"Fuck off.  Yeah, I noticed her eyes."

I gave him a look but he carried on.  "Long blonde hair and full pouty lips, but natural.  Not like that shit girls are pumping into themselves."

'Yeah?" I put my cup down. "And what about your rule not mixing business with pleasure?"

He brushed off my suggestion. "I never said I was going to fuck her."

"Okay, hell has just froze over."  I reached over and lightly punched him in the arm.

"Hey, what's that for?"

"Just checking I'm not dreaming."  I laughed.

"Why hit me to check you're not dreaming?"

His logic was sound.  "Better you than me." I reached over and pinched him in the other arm, grinning. 

"Hey! You realize two wrongs don't make a right?"  He rubbed his arm. "Take your parents, for example!" A smirk kicked up his top lip. 

I chuckled, flipping him off. 

"I'm seeing her tonight; she's agreed to have a drink with me."

"Hundred says you've slept with her by the end of the night."

"Has anyone ever told you—you're jaded, my friend." He finished his coffee. "But you're on—Deal." Stretching out his hand, I shook it.

"Easiest hundred I'll ever make."

Finn scoffed. "Hang fire, sparky. Don't be spending that money just yet."  He ran his hand through his damp hair. "Although I won't deny there was some serious chemistry going on and my dick had his very own pep rally every time she smiled at me." 

His eyes drifted off for a moment.  "I don't want to fuck it up, Cam" He shrugged. "She's funny, smart, confident and something else I can't put my finger on. We just clicked...you know?"

Okay, this was heading into dangerous waters. Finn had sworn off relationships after finding his ex-fiancée - five days before the wedding, fucking his best man. 

He'd said the worst part was that it had happened in his brand-new Audi.  But I knew better. Finn was like me, he'd loved her. 

"I'm gonna need to meet this client... if she hasn't ended up on her back by the end of the night?"

"Laugh all you want, Cam, but I think you'd like her." 

"And, don't forget to draw out the cash before you head back tonight."

He shook his head. "Is your arse jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth?"  He closed his laptop.

I laughed as I picked up my empty cup.  "Another?"

"Hit me up, my friend." Sliding his empty mug toward me.