June 16, 2023

BRC #3 for:
TASTE OF RED by Silveoryx

Upon reading the blurb, it becomes evident that the story itself holds great intrigue. The protagonist, Hyacinth Red, remains shrouded in mystery, with no explicit identification as a human, vampire, or werewolf. This reminds me of the Webtoon series "Dark Moon: The Blood Altar," which centers around a girl intertwined with vampires and werewolves. From what I recall, the protagonist is a reincarnation of a princess with the unique ability to control both creatures. However, my memory is somewhat hazy as I discontinued reading it due to not being particularly fond of this specific trope. Nevertheless, I genuinely looked forward to delving into your novel. The blurb possesses an undeniably intriguing factor, though it could benefit from some refinement, especially with the usage of commas in appropriate places to enhance coherence.

Blurb:
Hyacinth Red is a walking disaster, a very troublesome girl but when she enters an academy that's full of vampires and werewolves her life is starting to get even messier.

She's trying to remember her all forgotten memories and she tries to get them back by using the flowers of sorrowful memories in the Bloody Garden but knowing who she is wouldn't be that easy.

This academy isn't just about werewolves and vampires, there's also magic and mischief.

"You will know who you really are, once you dive deeper into your heart."

Suggestion:
Hyacinth Red is a walking disaster, a troublesome girl, but when she enters an academy full of vampires and werewolves, her life starts getting even messier.

She's attempting to recall all her forgotten memories using the flowers of sorrowful memories in the Bloody Garden. However, discovering her true identity won't be so simple.

This academy isn't solely about werewolves and vampires; it's also a place of magic and mischief.

"Once you delve deeper into your heart, you will discover who you truly are."

Now, let us discuss what I find commendable. First, the prologue proved surprising as the principal immediately expelled Red without granting her a chance to explain, leaving a lingering sense that it was premeditated. It seemed to be part of a larger scheme designed to set Red on her path to Cresent Bloodshire Academy. The main character exudes captivating vibes, particularly in Chapter One, where glimpses of her past flash through her mind. Readers will undoubtedly be eager to uncover more about her history. I commend you for skillfully building suspense throughout the narrative.

Your ability to craft characters is truly praiseworthy. Each character appears to have a unique story to tell, and as a fan of novels featuring characters with scars, I can attest that you have imbued your characters with significance.

Having read the first three chapters, I can sense the depth of your plot. The events unfold in a manner that suggests meticulous planning from the inception to the conclusion of your story. I admire the level of effort you have invested in your novel. Moreover, your work maintains a fast-paced tempo, keeping readers enthralled as they immerse themselves in its pages.

To further enhance your writing, it is advisable to address a few areas. As previously mentioned, the use of commas for appropriate pauses is necessary to improve coherence. Sentences lacking these pauses, even when warranted, can disrupt the overall reading experience.

While I am not proficient in Filipino technical writing, I did notice a few errors. When using contractions, always use an apostrophe.
Example: 'yan, 'yon, 'to, do'n, gano'n, etc.

Also, when using Taglish words, use a hyphen to separate the English word from the Tagalog prefix.
Example: nag-text, nag-enroll, nag-send

Moreover, if Taglish words are supposed to be used in the past tense, then they should be written like this: na-send, na-expel, na-receive. Adding the English words in the past tense before the "na" would be redundant because "na" already indicates the past tense.

Furthermore, proofreading for grammatical errors would be beneficial. Taking the time to carefully review and correct any inconsistencies in tense usage is also advisable. Using both present and past tense within the same sentence in narration can cause confusion to some readers. I recommend selecting one tense and adhering to it consistently throughout the text.

In summary, your novel possesses the ingredients for a compelling and enthralling story. With some refinement and attention to detail, it has the potential to captivate readers and leave a lasting impression.

Thank you for granting me the opportunity to write a review for your book. I truly enjoyed it!

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