May 27, 2023

(17 parts/chapters + 1 bonus chapter)
BRC #6 for:
THE STORY OF US by authorendrazimmerman

I want to express my gratitude for entrusting me with the task of reviewing your book. The premise of the story, as outlined in the blurb, immediately piqued my interest. It possesses a captivating quality that is likely to attract readers, and it appears to offer valuable insights into life and love. Naturally, I was eager to delve into the book and discover what it had in store.

Allow me to highlight the aspects of the book that left a profound impression on me:

Firstly, I found the narrative style used to portray Nora's perspective to be particularly impactful. The manner in which her story unfolds, akin to reading her personal diary, effectively conveyed a myriad of emotions while providing deep insights into her character, beliefs, and motivations. I must commend your skillful descriptions of her emotions, which were both compelling and finely crafted.

Furthermore, the story itself exuded an extraordinary sense of realism, allowing readers to forge a profound connection with the protagonist. This authenticity facilitated a heightened level of immersion and engagement, making the reading experience all the more captivating.

While it is true that I encountered some difficulty in comprehending and relating to certain choices made by Nora, I must acknowledge that this very struggle attests to your commendable writing abilities. Despite the disparity between my personal experiences and those of the protagonist, I remained thoroughly engrossed in the novel. The impact of your storytelling on my emotions is palpable in my inline comments, where I openly expressed my strong reactions to the narrative.

Regarding the male lead, I can confidently state that he consistently evoked a profound sense of anger within me. Characters who seek to control women and conveniently overlook the consequences of their actions are, personally, the object of my disdain. His actions truly ignited a fiery rage within me. However, I sincerely hope that subsequent parts of the story will present opportunities for significant character development or a redemption arc for him. I eagerly anticipate the possibility of witnessing such growth.

Moreover, the pacing of the story is just right, making the readers sway with its flow. The story maintains a balanced and harmonious progression. The events unfold at a pace that feels natural and appropriate for the genre and themes of the story. You have successfully crafted the narrative in a way that keeps the readers engaged without overwhelming or rushing them.

In the spirit of constructive feedback, I would like to draw your attention to some areas where the text could benefit from improvement:

Firstly, it is imperative to meticulously proofread the text for spacing issues, particularly after punctuation marks. This applies not only to the body of the book but also to the blurb. Additionally, it is advisable to avoid placing punctuation marks immediately after quotation marks, as it can enhance the overall aesthetic appeal and readability of the text.

Secondly, I recommend utilizing a double dash instead of an em dash. Certain platforms, such as Wattpad, may not recognize em dash, resulting in its conversion into a regular dash. Employing double dashes will ensure coherence throughout the text.

Thirdly, I recommend using only one punctuation mark to conclude the dialogue. For instance, instead of employing both a question mark and an exclamation point to convey the intensity of the character's emotion, it would be more effective to rely on describing the character's emotions, gestures, and facial expressions. This approach will sufficiently enhance the impact of the writing.

Moreover, the incorporation of commas in appropriate instances to indicate pauses within longer sentences is advisable. For example, revising a sentence like "Struggling to find the words I blink away the tears welling up in my eyes..." to "Struggling to find the words, I blink away the tears welling up in my eyes..." would contribute to a smoother and more fluid reading experience.

Lastly, enhancing the transitions between scenes by employing indicators such as dashes, asterisks, or a few connecting sentences can lend a more seamless flow to the narrative. These transitions serve as guiding signposts for readers, ensuring a cohesive progression from one scene to the next.

To conclude, I would like to express my genuine appreciation for the opportunity to review your book. It undeniably possesses remarkable potential, and with minor adjustments and diligent proofreading, it has the power to captivate and deeply resonate with readers. I encourage you to persist in your excellent work, and I eagerly await witnessing your continued progress and growth in future literary endeavors.

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