Chapter 29
"She did not forgive me. She felt sorry for me."
Hermione shook her head slightly, she didn't want to believe it. Yet the evidence was so clearly in front of her, "She loved you. But she couldn't forgive you..."
Snape turned his head away looking off into the distance, "She never loved me..."
Hermione's eyes shot to his face, there was not an ounce of doubt in his posture, "I think she did..."
"Then you are a fool."
"A fool I may be, but that...right there what you've just shown me proves that she did. She was devastated. How did you not see how much it pained her to see you on the other side?"
"Ever the Gryffindor hero, she wanted to save me." Severus' jaw twitched, "I didn't need to be saved, I'd made my choices."
"Bollocks!" Hermione snapped. Her outburst caused a rather large arch to his brow, "Would you have even considered joining Voldemort if she had forgiven you?"
"Yes." His tone was nearly acidic.
Hermione's tone turned apoplectic, "Oh, please! Is this how you lied to yourself all these years!?"
Snape closed the modest distance between them, his eyes lit with a fire that could have been deadly had this form held any true power.
"It is the truth. Whether you wish to accept it or not. I was destined to be a death eater the moment I stepped foot into that school. The very moment the hat was placed upon my head. There was: No. Other. Option."
Hermione merely grinned under his dangerous gaze, he had fallen directly into her trap and it only took a second before he realized it too. However, instead of accepting it, he expelled her from his world. The journal snapped shut loudly as she fell back into her chair with a hard thump that took the wind out of her. Still, her smirk grew and she shook her head pushing the journal back on her desk as a final jibe.
Her smile slowly faded, however, when she realized that Lily had never forgiven him. That despite everything he had done for her, the one thing that she could have done for him never happened. Her eyes fell back down to the journal and her lips pursed; what would she tell Harry? She knew he wanted to see memories of his mother but could he really handle what they held? He believed in the good of what she was, would this small detail turn his memories sour? It's not like he had many to hold onto as it was. Perhaps the other journals had something that would help, though she knew the more emotional ones were locked away, perhaps there was something somewhere that held a little less significance and would help Harry. With a new purpose in mind, she pulled the other journals towards her and began skimming.
oOo
Lunch had come and gone but Hermione hadn't noticed, nor had she gone to retrieve any sort of sustenance. It hadn't been until the hunger pains had grown to the point of moderate volume did she even realize she'd needed to eat. Her fingers slowly pulled out from the journal she was presently reading, it was the last of the set that had been at the house. His early days as a death eater.
The journal mainly consisted of curses or dark spells that he had been tasked to create or modify. Dark Magic the likes of which Hermione could have only speculated on. While she wasn't shy to the dark arts most of her research had been in the pursuit of containing not embellishing it. She turned to the next page and her brows furrowed deeper, the heading catching her eye.
Dolohov Curse
Effective Range: close
Verbal: Feeras
Non-verbal: estimated partial effect
Counter: Yes
Color: Purple
Manifestation: Flame
Effects: Significant internal organ disruption. Lung damage, burns. Heart damage, disruption of blood flow. De-oxygenation of blood due to damage of lungs. Brain death is almost immediate.
Outcome: Death by organ failure. Approximately 1 hour after cast. Immediate unconsciousness.
Non-verbal effectiveness not tested.
Her eyes continued down reading all the complex workings needed to make the spell even work. Her brows twitched when she realized that he wasn't dissecting the spell for its creation but rather taking it apart to create a counter curse. Her hand absently rubbed the scar on her chest and tried to think back if she had even seen Snape during her recovery in the hospital wing. She couldn't rightly remember him but she did distinctly remember the myriad of potions she'd had to take in the weeks after.
She turned to the next page to find a plethora of information on every single one of the potions Madame Pomfrey had given her. How they worked to counteract the curse and how they should be brewed to ensure optimal recovery.
Her stomach gave a riotous growl and her throat groaned to match it. Her eyes rolled towards her wall clock and she let out a small whine. Pushing herself up, she scooped up the journal and started down the stairs. The house was quiet, something that normally left her on edge but today she welcomed the peace.
Setting the journal onto the table she moved about the kitchen looking for something to eat when she realized that neither she nor her housemates had been to the store recently. Aside from a few tins of beans and some soup and bread, there was hardly anything about.
With a frustrated sigh, Hermione slammed the cabinet in front of her closed and looked down at her present attire. She had dressed for the day in a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of soft jeans. While she definitely wouldn't win any beauty pageants she was decent enough to travel outside.
That settled, she pulled her wand from her sleeve calling her bag from upstairs. When it was within range she grabbed it from the air and pushed the journal inside. Perhaps a bit of sun would do her good, though when she glanced out one of the windows she found the sky to be murky grey. Even still, she decided to venture out, knowing she had an umbrella in her bag just in case the sky decided to let loose.
A once over to make sure she had everything, and a glance to her wallet to ensure she had muggle money; she slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way out the door. A quick locking charm and she was off down the street. Despite the gentle chill in the air, the weather felt nice. The wind cleansing.
She walked just outside of the wards and with a quick glance to make sure she wasn't seen, she turned on the spot appearing in the main heart of the city. Her feet navigated her through the throng of people hustling and moving about. Her eyes turned up to read the signs as she passed various cafes and takeaways. Her stomach continued to growl and her body felt a little too light on her feet as she rounded the next corner.
She was about to give in and simply get something to take home when she spotted the garden terrace of the little cafe Luna had introduced her to. She paused for a moment, having just eaten there recently. Her lips twitched as she chewed them, lost in thought. So lost was she, that she jumped and let out a rather girly squeak when a man brushed by her in haste causing her to sway dangerously on her feet.
While the man had only thrown a mediocre apology her way, he hadn't stopped. Hermione paid him little mind as her hand went to her forehead. Her vision somewhat doubled. She blinked furiously as the street in front of her swayed in and out of focus. Her stomach gave another painful pang as the world began to grow dark.
"Miss Granger?"
The voice that called to her felt so very far away and when she turned to try and find the source her vision finally gave out. Her body collapsed like a rag doll towards the dirty stonework.
Minerva hadn't moved that fast in years. The elder woman pushed through the startled group of muggles that had turned to gawk and down to Hermione's side. Her fingers instantly pressed along the vein of her neck which was pulsing steadily and gave a disapproving glare to anyone who stood to stare.
"Does she need an ambulance?"
"I can call one, there's a phone box just around the corner."
People offered their assistance but Minerva shooed them on, lying rather skillfully that she was a nurse and friend. Her hands pulled Hermione's chest from the ground, her fingers brushing away her hair as she thought of what to do. It was broad daylight in the middle of muggle London. She needed to think and think fast.
"There's a hospital just on the next block I can carry her there. Let me help," a young man possibly around Hermione's age had come to her aid.
"Right..." Minerva just needed to get them out of sight, the less she involved the muggles the better but there was something about the man in front of her that made her less concerned.
The dirty blond smiled softly and easily picked Hermione from the sidewalk, "Make way!" His voice was commanding and strong enough to make those around move aside.
Minerva quickly scooped up Hermione's bag and made to follow him. Though when he turned down an ally instead of the street her eyes narrowed slightly, her wand slipping into her palm.
The man turned, his grin playfully devious as his glamour faded away. While still very much blond his returned features were undeniable.
"Mr. Malfoy." Minerva lowered her wand and let out a breath, "What on earth...?"
"Was searching for a present for my wife's birthday. Lucky me huh?" He shifted his hold on Hermione looking down into her flushed features, "So...St Mungo's or..."
"Hogwarts, we must take her to Hogwarts." Minerva glanced behind casting a few notice-me-not charms before taking hold of Draco's forearm. Not missing the look of curiosity that had risen his brows, "On my count, one... two...three..."
The gates of Hogwarts stood tall imposing, the grounds clear and calm as students hadn't yet arrived. Minerva opened the gates with a flick of her fingers with Malfoy moving swiftly to her side. Hermione groaned softly in his hold and he gently adjusted her as best as he could, her head rocking on his shoulder. Her hands opened and closed for a moment and he was almost certain she was going to wake; when in reality, all she managed was a soft sigh that was nearly drowned out by the rumbling of her stomach.
Once inside the castle gates Minerva turned, wand raised, "I can take her from here if you'd like."
"Oh, yeah...sure..." He shifted slightly when Hermione's nose brushed against his neck.
Minerva gave him a look of appreciation, "Your good deed will not go unnoticed." Her wand gingerly lifted Hermione from his arms to float level in front of them both.
Draco rubbed the back of his neck, "Right time, right place I guess..."
"Quite...Do enjoy the rest of your day Mr. Malfoy." Minerva moved with her charge up the path, unaware of the blond's worried gaze as the gates shut behind her.
Draco ran his hands down his chest awkwardly for a moment, his fingers opening and closing before he turned on the spot.
Minerva moved through the halls with great urgency. Her patronus had bounded off before her in search of Poppy as she headed towards the hospital wing. By the time she arrived Poppy was right behind her, taking control of the spell that kept Hermione suspended and guided her towards the special off-shoot she had created for her care.
"What happened?" Poppy easily settled Hermione down, her wand flourishing and calling all sorts of readings to float over her still form.
"I'm not really sure, I had just noticed her in muggle London when she turned to look at me and just collapsed." Minerva was keeping her tone calm but inside she was very worried.
"In broad daylight? In front of muggles?" Poppy's question was more of an inquiry as to how she'd gotten her to Hogwarts rather than of the actual incident.
Minerva waved her hand somewhat dismissively for a moment, "I didn't take her in front of muggles Poppy, honestly." She rolled her eyes for a moment before moving to the opposite side of the bed. Hermione appeared to be coming to, her hand coming up towards her face as her eyes fluttered.
Poppy's follow-up question was averted when Hermione's head rolled, her eyes finally coming open, "Miss Granger, can you hear me?"
Hermione's eyes rolled around the room, confusion lacing her brow as her hand came up to her pounding head, "How...?"
"Have you eaten today?" Poppy ignored her questioning glance as she moved to pull down her arm. She pushed the sleeve up to find the poultice the younger woman had put in place.
"Yeah...no...?" Hermione lifted her head slightly when the wrap was pulled away, the air brought to it causing it to pulse, "I was..."
Poppy cleared away the blood that had begun to seep through the cursed word and turned to gather a few potions, "Breakfast? Lunch?"
"Breakfast..." Hermione still felt rightly out of sorts, her eyes blinking as she tried to sit up just a bit straighter. She flexed her hand for a moment before letting her head fall back onto the pillow, "I was going to lunch..."
"Right, well just lay back. I'll get you sorted." Poppy moved away again towards the counters. She began pulling out the equipment she'd used before, her lips deeply bowed, "When did you put the poultice on your arm?"
"This morning..." Hermione laid her uninjured arm over her eyes hoping the darkness would quell her headache.
"Any particular reason?" Poppy set a few things down on the bedside table, the pair of them dutifully ignoring the growing concern over Minerva's face.
"I....I got sick..." Hermione glanced briefly from under her arm.
Poppy paused giving her a narrowed look, "Do you know why?"
Hermione hid her eyes back under her arm. She knew that the medi-witch had given her strict instructions to take it easy but when her mind took her back to what she'd seen, her stomach cramped painfully. Her face wrenched with pain as she tried to hold back the memory. She waffled her head with a trembling lip, her fingers curling tight into her temple while her other arm wrapped tight over her pulsing stomach.
Poppy and Minerva's concern grew as a small silent sob rocked her chest but her determination not to cry won out. Her entire body tensed as she held in her sorrow, her grief, and her pain; resolutely saying nothing more on the topic.
"Alright...alright...just breathe. Did you take any of your potions today?" Poppy tried her best to take her mind away from whatever had bothered her so. When Hermione managed a small nod she hummed in affirmation, "Did you take the Draught of Peace?"
Once more Hermione managed a small nod, her nose now sufficiently clogged with her held tears. She sniffled and hiccuped before moving her hand away from her eyes, her face twisted.
"Keep breathing for me, does your stomach hurt now?" It was another diversion.
Hermione nodded, her lashes shined with tears she refused to let fall. She pursed her lips to keep her jaw from trembling but when she raised her eyes towards McGonagall's worried brow she couldn't help but shut her eyes tight again.
A small spell from Poppy's wand eased the cramping but she knew the young woman would need more, "Is it alright if we do your treatment today instead of Saturday?"
Hermione went still, her head turning to the side, gravity pulled the tears from her eyes to wet her pillow. She'd thought she'd have more time. True, she hadn't been following the instructions given to her, exactly but how was she supposed to have known that Snape's father had killed himself in such a grotesque manner? Still, the clock inside her mind had grown louder and it was with a bubbled sob that she nodded her consent.
"Alright...just as before then..." Poppy moved to grab the nasal catheter. A flick of her wand cleared Hermione's sinus' and with a dry cough, she gradually lifted her head. Her eyes rose to McGonagall's as she swallowed the tube down her throat, shame sparkling in her eyes. Her lips opened to speak but nothing but a weak cough passed her lips. She wanted to tell her but there was something in the elder's eyes that gave her the impression that she already knew. Perhaps not to what extent but she hadn't been left entirely in the dark.
As Poppy pressed the mask over her face she wondered if perhaps she had told her, then again, it could have been Harry. He had taken an interest in Drugor's findings but the last she'd seen it hadn't indicated anything more than a blood curse. While the world spiraled away, her heart beat deeper into her chest. Had Harry learned more about what was happening to her? Had he somehow gotten information she did not yet possess? Was that why he had looked so crestfallen the other night when he'd asked her to stay with him?
Just as the darkness began to pull her under, her mind sparked. Luna! She was supposed to meet Luna today! However, despite her best efforts, the most she could mutter was a weak moan as her eyes rolled back into her head. Her fingers twitching before her chest grew still.
oOOo
"Hello, Harry." Luna smiled kindly. The man to whom she greeted lifted his head from his desk to offer her a weak smile, "Long day?"
Harry mumbled before leaning back into his chair, "Something like that." He motioned absently to the files that littered his messy desk, "Desk duty sucks."
Her brows rose, "Why are you on such a duty?"
He leaned forward, rubbing his face, "Malenda, our team healer was injured pretty badly. Ron too, though he's mostly recovered now. He's taken leave to be with her."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Will she recover soon?" Luna shifted the book she had cradled in her hands to her hip.
"That's what the healers say...but she won't be back in the field..." Harry idly flicked a small ornament that sat on his desk.
"Are these the files for her possible replacement?" Luna gently pulled one in her direction but didn't open it, instead she merely looked at the name.
"Yeah..." Harry looked at the file she'd moved but didn't reach for it, "They're all really qualified but..." He ran his hand through his hair, "I guess I'm just not ready yet."
Luna hummed in the back of her throat with a small nod, "Well, I wish you luck." She shifted again as though in deep thought before making to speak again, "Have you seen Hermione? She was supposed to meet me here this evening but she hasn't yet shown up."
Harry's brows furrowed, a small chill running down his spine, "Meet you? For what?"
Luna tilted her head, her eyes giving him a critical look before turning down to the book in her hand, "Oh, nothing much. Just picking her brain for my present project. Nothing like before." While it wasn't a full lie, she could tell from the last time Harry had come to her aid that perhaps Hermione's continued presence was some sort of secret. Given that nothing adverse had happened Luna didn't want to cause drama when there didn't seem to be cause for any.
He gave her a suspicious look, "Just bookwork?"
"Mmm." Luna answered noncommittally.
Harry took a deep breath, he had the feeling that it was much more than that but without coming clean about what he'd learned, he really couldn't voice his objection. After all, Hermione was an adult, she had her own mind. He had no right to tell her what she could or couldn't do. Despite how much he wanted to lock her away in her room to keep her safe. Alive. There was little he could do. Especially when she set her mind to something. Lord help the world when she set her mind to something.
"No...I haven't seen her. She was really tired this morning. Maybe she took a nap?"
"That's possible. Well...if you do see her, tell her that we can meet another time." Luna smiled once more, "See you later, Harry, and good luck."
Harry gave her a weak wave as she turned away. His eyes turned back down to the files that suddenly held very little interest. With a glance at the clock, he pushed himself up, grabbing his robes.
"Evin? I'm taking an early day." He said gruffly as he passed by the young secretary that kept their hours. The petit woman merely raised her brow at him when he rushed past but said nothing as she marked his time.
Harry was stepping through the floo at Grimmauld Place in no time, his voice calling out as soon as he'd ducked under the mantle. When a small sound from the kitchen caught his attention he had to stop himself from breaking into a run. Settling for a brisk walk, he tossed his robes onto the couch and rounded the door frame into the hallway. His mouth poised to call out again when a flash of red hair stilled his voice.
"Ron." He squeaked from surprise, "You're home early. We didn't expect you to be back until tomorrow."
Ron chuckled, pulling the spoon from his mouth, a bowl of beans in his hand, "Yeah, I hadn't planned on it but Malenda said my hair was starting to get greasy so she sent me home to shower and gather some things." He took another bite from his bowl leaning back against the counter completely unaware of anything possibly wrong.
"Yeah, you were looking a bit rough, mate." Harry's smile was a bit tight but he was genuinely happy to see him up and about even if he knew he'd be temporarily moving back to his mother's place, "Have you seen Hermione?"
Ron shook his head, his mouth full, "Didn't see her when I took my shower. She left her door open." Ron explained before taking another bite.
"When was that?" Harry asked cautiously.
"About an hour ago." Ron shrugged, "Might be out shopping though. The cupboards are basically bare." He raised his bowl to accent his point.
"Right... shopping." Harry scratched at the back of his head. He tried to remind himself that there wasn't any need to worry. It was very possible she had simply gone out, done some shopping, and forgot about her appointment with Luna. Or maybe she had planned to drop the groceries off and then go. All very reasonable explanations for why she wasn't home.
"What's got your wand in a knot Harry? You look tense." Ron took the last bite of his meal setting the bowl aside.
"Nothing...it's nothing..." Harry turned again, seemingly at a loss.
"You sure? You look awful worried." Ron had come closer now, the taller of the two he looked down at Harry with concern.
"Yeah, no. It's fine. Just work stuff you know? How about I help you get your stuff together?"
"That'd be great." Ron relaxed marginally, his blue eyes still watching Harry closely.
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