The moment she realized that she belonged in hell was on the evening she felt her head was ready to explode, eye twitching as everything grew so intense that she whipped a plastic plate at her sister's head in the middle of their small kitchen - their guest watching her with wide as the tiny girl let out a shrill scream that covered all other chatter in the home with a stiff silence. Her hands shook, chest heaved as she hissed at Bella from across the table, teeth grinding loudly from where she shook.

"What do you mean you can't find your ring?" Andy was ready to reach across space and strangle her sister as she hastily eyed the girls bare left hand that was pressed protectively to her chest.

A growing swirl of emotions burst in her stomach, an anxiety and tension that settled unconsciously and Andy brushed it away with the force of her anger - thoughts already snapping to different places it could be hiding away, of things she was going to say when the truth was exposed and she had to explain how she let a 'frazzled' bride lose her rings a week before the wedding was staged to take place.

Mind abuzz with a strength to make it pound angrily within the confines of her skull, Andy snatched Bella's wrist in a tight grip and began dragging the girl up the stairs to her room - vaguely aware of Seth following behind them like an eager puppy willing to help. She imagined he could, that his eyesight must have been better than the two human girls without needing to shift to achieve it.

Already she was being worn thin with the expectations of Alice and the enchanting ceremony and reception that the vampire was planning, Andy was not prepared to take on any extra duties that would no doubt drive her to throw herself off the cliff in La Push so she could sink to the bottom in the tranquil waves that would hold her hostage. What Andy needed was for Bella to keep her head and not turn into this ditzy woman whenever she thought of marrying Edward (or glimpsed her engagement ring).

It was with a whimper from her sister that she found herself easing her grip, a shaky sigh passing barely parted lips that called her to relax from the stress that ate at her. Still, Andy didn't apologize as they continued to the room - not trusting herself to say the right thing or even pretend to be sincere when she felt like she could take on Seth and manage to rip the teeth from his canine jaw.

"When did you notice it missing?" Andy asked when they finally reached Bella's room.

The mess that greeted them almost had Andy turning around and leaving her sister to her own devices, but the panic that fed into her from Bella's twitchy form had her firmly planted in place looking at her expectantly.

"I was helping you cut the vegetables earlier. You were in such a good mood with everyone joking around that I didn't want to bring it up right away," Bella mumbled, and Andy instantly felt a twinge of regret at the way she acted.

Andy sighed. "I didn't see you take it off then, so what were you doing before that?"

"I took a shower."

Spinning on her heels, she shoved Seth in the direction of the bathroom with rapid pleas for him to check there for the pair. Absently, Andy wondered if he would be able to sniff it out if rings even had a scent that you could track.

They waited in an awkward silence for Seth to return, neither daring to say a word at the moment lest they curse the boy's luck and he returns empty-handed. Still, the dejected look tainting his boyish features brought Andy to sink to the floor with a muffled groan as she tucked her head between her knees. All she could see was the way Edward would carefully hide his pain from Bella, would mask it so perfectly that he would be able to fool her sister, but Andy would be able to feel that sharp stab of pain and catch the way sadness would veil his eyes.

Priceless. The ring had been a priceless heirloom that belonged to his mother - well an heirloom by human standards simply because of how long ago that had been. They could never replace something like that, and even if possible they could never hide the truth of the matter from him. It was a mess. One great big mess and Andy swore she was going to cry soon if she wasn't already since it was growing hard to tell with the throbbing that was spreading behind her eyelids.

Maybe if she just never saw him again? If she took Bell's and ran they wouldn't need to face him or Alice? But then they would come after them and Quil would be angry at her for disappearing so suddenly. They would have to take Seth with them - he already knows too much. Where could they go? Somewhere sunny would be far too obvious.

She pulled in deep breaths, trying hard to level herself as the room seemed to spin around her. There was a growing worry that was swelling nestled in her ribs. Warm and cold, she pulled it deeper, hiding it from herself as she laid back on her sister's floor and covered her face with a groan.

"You okay, Andy?" Seth asked, his weight next to her causing the floorboards to creek slightly and she turned her head away.

She peeked out, blinking at the soft lighting of her sister's stupid bedside lamp. A part of her wanted to laugh, a sort of hysterical thing that made her head buzz and chest feel funny, but Andy thought she held it back rather well, suppressing the urge to be crazy like a pro as she took a rather deep breath and sat up to face the other two.

In the midst of pushing herself to her feet was when she saw it, the mere sight sending a thrill of relief down her spine as she launched herself forward, scrambling to where Bella had tucked a poorly packed box of books that was left open and in a disarray like her sister had started packing but had ended up digging around through it all to read them.

Hidden half behind the box, in the darkness, shielded it by the desk, Andy found the beautifully studded ring and snatched it with deft fingers - an urge to shove it down her sister's throat or at least throw it at her was very prominent, but she withheld by simply holding the thing out as an offering. The happiness that came from a consuming love despite the repeated insistence that she didn't believe in marriage.

It was something that Bella had always had odd views on, the way she thought that the entire concept was nothing more than just a paper certificate and an unnecessary display of love and money.

There had been a time when Andy had understood, had followed the reasoning and appreciated the way her sister stood firm in her beliefs, but she always knew what the ceremony truly stood for.

Though as it was now, Andy couldn't help but feel a little bitter at the sway in Bella's resolve if only because of the extra work and headache that it was causing her. Some vindictive, petty part of her wanted Bella to feel, to understand the pressure she was feeling just because the girl wanted nothing to do with planning her own wedding essentially handing it off to Alice and herself.

Clearing her head with a deep breath, Andy gave Seth a strained smile as he stood silently in the room, escaping quickly when Andy gave him an easy nod of the head. He must have been itching to leave with the tension that was radiating from her.

Offering it up to her sister from where she sat on the floor, extending her arm as far as she could, Andy nearly shuddered as it was ripped from her fingers with a surprising haste and aggressiveness that nearly sent her falling over. She could sense the excitement and relief as she watched Bella slip on the ring with a hurried gentleness, some of her own bitterness lifting from her at the sight. 

"Bells, you need to be more careful," Andy finally sighed, speaking softly, gently. "Edward can't read your mind, but he can read mine. I can't keep him from knowing all of your little accidents and blunders." 

The elder girl nodded. "I don't mean to put you in that position, Ands, but it's just-"

"Do you want to marry him? Truly marry him?" Andy asked as she pulled herself up from the floor, hand gripping her sisters tenderly, brushing a finger over the engagement ring. 

Bella was silent for a moment, blinking steadily. "I can't live without him."

Irritation bubbled within her at Bella's lack of a direct answer. She knew more than anyone that her sister was literally nothing without Edward, and as much as she despised the thought of them being so dependent on one another, Andy could never fault her for wanting someone so much that it consumed her entirely. She knew that to Bella telling Edward that marriage wasn't something she needed was synonymous with telling him goodbye because somewhere in her sister's heart it would feel like a betrayal to the boy that she loved. So maybe Andy could understand, despite her irritation, that marriage wasn't what she truly wanted, but rather the forever part that she would be granted if she did. 

"Then you should try to worry less, Bells because I know that Edward loves you as much as you love him," Andy tells her. "You know that I would never let him take you away from me unless he was sincere." 

She was swept into a hug, the Bella kind that was spontaneous and strong, and suffocating with all the things that the girl couldn't find the words to say, and Andy was returning it in kind, holding herself anchored to her sister for as long as it lasted. 

It was a warmth in her chest, a sharp tug at her heart and an itch behind her eyes that clued the girl into what Bella must have been thinking. The thought of them being separated was physically painful to her at times, a thing that could render her wracked full of sobs gasping desperately for her breath because she had never been parted from her before - not like this, in a way that once it was done she had a few years left until there was a never again, a final goodbye. Such thoughts were dangerous because Andy would end up following Bella into immortality whether she truly wanted to or not, giving away everything for the promise of never having to lose her sister. 

Quil had always been the opposing factor of these thoughts, echoing in her mind when she was closest to giving into her secret, deepest desire. It was like she was betraying him every time she so much as considered, the grief and guilt that filled her at these thoughts was tearing her apart.

The idea, the precise, immediate thought that she would lose the Cullens or the pack, one way or another, was very much killing her inside - Andy tried her best to ignore it, shoving her emotions into that wonderful little corner at the back of her mind that she hardly dared to approach. 

"I love you," she muttered, smothering the words into her sister's shoulder. 

Bella squeezed her tighter. "I love you too." 

"Should we go down and make sure Seth's okay?" Andy quips. "Let him know that we haven't killed each other?" 

Chuckling, Bella nodded, letting her sister go and began to make her way from the room. Andy took a shaky breath, steadying herself before she trailed after her, banishing all negative thoughts from her mind and caught up to her sister. 

Bella had successfully landed herself a spot at the end of the couch, a perfect seat to be part of the festivities without needing to interact with anyone. She could feel the smugness that radiated from her sister as her dad looked over and awkwardly cleared his throat. 

"Hey Andy, do you think you could give Seth a hand with his math work," Charlie looked hopeful, pleading almost as he shot a brief glance to Sue. "He has a load of work he needs to get done over the summer." 

Keeping her facial features controlled, Andy faced Seth with a small smile. "Sure, come sit with me at the table."

Really, Andy figured, she must have done something horrible to have all this stress piling up on her, burying her so deep that she could hardly tell how she was even meant to save herself at this point. 

So, Andy decided she was going to hell because someone, somewhere, had decided her fate for her and left her with all the wrong decisions. 

  ***
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So its been a while since i wrote for Andy. I hope i got her right. 

unedited 

2018-11-27