L  U  C  Y

"Okay Lucy you can do this. Just take a deep breath..." Inhale. Inhale. Inhale. I let a sob wrack through my body for this will be the last time I shall allow myself to cry.

Especially when it comes to crying over him. I drugged my boyfriend...so now I'm having a panic attack in our bathroom. Don't get me wrong... I did it for a good reason I guess.

The bastard was a controlling, abusive monster. He ruined me. Broke me.

Those were promises he made the first time I attempted to leave him, back when I still had my dignity. He promised to ruin me. Control me. Break me down until I am nothing. Only because I had tried to leave him.

That day was the first time he had beat me, it became a daily thing, no matter how good his day went he would beat me.

I fell out of love with him when he started to force himself upon me. Who knew my childhood best friend/Lover would be my worst nightmare?

I sure as hell did not.

All that started 3 years ago, when we just graduated high school. We fell in love. I had known him my whole life...or so I thought.

All those years I faked my happiness. Everyone always noticed how bright and radiant my smile was. Nobody noticed how fake it was -either that or they just didn't really care.- how my eyes were never dry and my face lacked its usual color. I started to wear tons of makeup to hide the scars and bruises.

I hid them well.

Not a single person noticed when I started to lose all my weight from not eating. Pretty soon he caught onto that...he forced me to eat.

When I refused he pushed my face into whatever was in front of me.

I still have a small scar on my nose from the knife that was on my plate.

There was one time he pushed me so hard my tooth had came out, he got mad at that and grabbed my hair to force the food down.

Today. On this very night I had enough, I had developed several habits while I was here in this hell hole.

I cut myself. I starved myself because I couldn't stand eating. I was never hungry anyway.

My panic attack faded away as I checked the time on the clock we had in our bathroom.

I need to go. Now.

It's now or never. I have to get away. This is the very first decision I have made for myself in a long time and after this I have no clue where I'm gonna go.

I have no one. No family. No friends.

No one trust worthy at-least.
You can never trust anyone, you knew this from the very beginning when your dad first left you for some whore.

I cried out at the voice in my head, fuck you. The voice didn't respond to that, not that I'm complaining.

I needed to get my shit together. I walked out of the bathroom with tears still streaming down my face, he's gonna wake up soon. The drug won't last as long as I hope.

I grabbed as many clothes as I could carry in a backpack. After I did that I went into his safe where he kept money at.

I quickly put in his code and retrieved the $300 that was in there.

He stole most of this money from me anyway.

Oh god. If he finds out he's gonna kill me..I mean I drugged him! Now I'm taking his money.

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Breathe in. Breathe out.

It's okay. I'm okay. He won't ever find me after this! I'm leaving this damned town. I don't know where I'll go but I'm sure I can find Something.

There's always another option...

Always...

•

I pulled the door shut and booked it away from that mansion.

Oh god this is it! I'm free. I'm free!

That's all that ran through my mind the whole run towards the buss station, I plan to take the one going the furthest away from crocus.

Ah crocus. A wonderful place wouldn't you agree, Lucy?

There's that damn voice again.

Go away! That place can burn in hell and I wouldn't give a damn!

When I arrived at the buss station no one was there. It was just gonna be me. Which is perfect because I have no makeup on to cover all my bruises.

I don't need anyone to see me like this at the moment. I need to be alone.

Pfft. You should cut. It's been a total of 2 hours. You can never escape from him Lucy. You know this.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to ignore the voice but it was so persistent.

No. I will not give in. I have to stop. He will not find me. He won't know what even happened. Leave me alone! Please!

I knew I was only fooling myself... I know he will find me. I know for a fact that he will kill me.

I don't wanna admit it I really don't, but, He will always find me.

You know it. You belong to him, we love to hear your pathetic cries as he takes you without your consent.

We love it when you scream at him to stop as he sends punch after punch.

We live for your cries Lucy.

I scream and fall to my knees crying, like a child. Why? Why is my life like this?

Why have I done this to myself?
Why did I love one of the most perfect guys I thought to ever exist? That alone should have been a red flag!!

No ones perfect. He was just to perfect. I sob into my arms and let out a scream again.

This is my fault.
It's my fault I'm even in this position.
I can't live like this.

I quickly shook that thought away. I'll be damned if I let them win.

Over my dead body.

That can be arranged.

I ignored the voice and set my sights on the approaching bus. A look of pure determination on my tearful face.

Don't let them win.

Oh don't worry. I won't.

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- Nova