Chapter 2 here we goooo

I woke up with an uncomfortable nausea in my stomach and the worst headache ever. I ran to the toilet before throwing up the contents of my stomach.

I tried to piece together what had happened: Mark had taken me to the party and I drank way too much. I somehow ended up at home, in bed and- wait. How'd I end up in bed?

It hit me like a tsunami. Phil. The kiss. Then I was drowning in a mixture of fear and humiliation. I cheated on Kayla and most likely just lost one of my closest friends. I let out a desperate cry, promising myself I would never even have a sip of alcohol again. Apparently, I did stupid things when I was drunk.

-

Phil hadn't been in contact all weekend, so, when Monday morning rolled around, the anxiety had catastrophically multiplied. Kayla greeted me at the school gate with a simple kiss on my cheek and a small, "Hey, Dan." I forced a smile, following her to where our friends were sitting. She wrapped an arm around me but I kept my gaze fixed on my lap, hoping I wouldn't need to interact with Phil at all.

Ten minutes before the bell, he dragged me to our tutor room, claiming we 'needed to talk'. In that moment I hated that Kayla and the rest of our friends were in different classes. "What do you remember about Friday night?" He questioned with an interrogative stare. I shrugged. "Don't play stupid. We need to talk about it, you know? And you need to tell me more about this person you love that isn't Kayla."

"Fine. I remember kissing you and, yes, I have feelings for you. Just shut up about it." I buried my head into my hands, hoping I had kept my voice low enough to not draw attention to myself.

"You what?" My eyes widened as I realised just what I had confessed. I ignored my friend from then on until lunch by pretending I couldn't hear his hushed whispers or feel him tapping my side. I was well and truly fucked.

-

"Dan!" Phil yelled whilst I hastily walked away. I really didn't want to lose him but I just had to go and mess everything up. I reached a crowd of people, meaning my escape path was blocked. Then Phil grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty classroom.

"Leave me alone, okay? I get it. You don't want to be my friend any-" My words were cut off as he pressed his lips against mine. I let out a tiny sound that represented my surprise but didn't make an effort to push him away. When we pulled back, I warily glanced at the closed door.

"Dan, it's okay. I have feelings for you too." My eyes widened: I hadn't expected that. I stumbled backwards, until my back was pressed against the wall, unable to conjure up a verbal response. Phil stepped forwards, glancing at me with sorrowful eyes. He leant in to kiss me again but I reluctantly pushed him away.

"We can't."

"Why not?" He seemed like he wanted it as much as I did which made shaking my head so much harder.

"I have a girlfriend, Phil."

"Break up with-"

"No, I can't..."

"Do you love her?" My phone then started to ring, interrupting the conversation. I was thankful that I didn't need to respond as I answered the call.

"Hey Kay," I started so Phil was aware of who I was talking to. "Yeah. I'll be there in a second... Just got held back in class... See you in a moment. I love you, bye." I didn't even say goodbye to Phil as I left the classroom.

-

That night I went to Kayla's for dinner. I really wasn't in the mood but it was hard to say no when looking into her kind eyes. I felt so excruciatingly guilty but I didn't dare mention the kiss because that would mean admitting I wasn't straight. I wasn't ready for that.

I had my arm draped around her body as we watched a movie. I wasn't paying attention but she seemed really into it. My phone went off so I reached for it, noticing Phil had messaged me.

Phil: Are you going to tell Kayla?

"Who is it?" Kayla innocently asked.

"Phil." My fingers ghosted over the keys but I wasn't entirely certain of what to say.

"Tell him to go away because we're on a date." Kayla laughed so I forced a smile.

Me: No. I'm with her now so can you please leave me alone

Phil: She deserves to know...

I knew that. I knew it would hurt her even more if she found out on her own accord but I was just... petrified. I put my phone down without replying, hoping I'd forget. I didn't.

:)