There was a dissonance upon returning to the capital. It was a certain relief to return to routine, to a place that would be constant. Well, chaotic, but constant.

Exhaling deeply, I leaned against the café window, eyes fluttering on the glass as I watched the familiar marketplace road with a faint shudder of excitement.

When I inhaled, the sweet, cloying smell of cakes and pastries made me lean back and calm down a bit more.

I glanced at the sky and wondered if the reason why this space felt like a stage was probably due to the weather. Despite the upcoming winter, the sky was clear enough to be annoying.

If this scene was really a stage—if it was a scripted play, the encounter between the main characters would take place somewhere like this where the wind, the sun, and the weather were all begging them to fall in love. I only hoped that it was a good sign for once.

Having enough of the silly thought, I put a piece of chocolate inside my mouth.

I closed my eyes, savoring the taste of the expensive dark chocolate I had ordered, and inhaled deeply, trying to calm my mind.

"My lady."

My eyes popped open, and I exhaled, choking on the chocolate—accidentally swallowing the whole thing. I whirled to see the culprit and coughed—my hands in front of my mouth.

The usually late hero reacted quickly this time, slapping me hard on my back and speaking in panic, "My lady, are you okay? Breathe. Breathe, my lady!"

I finally managed to either swallow the chocolate or cough chunks up into a napkin—eyes tearing up. Through the reflection of the glass frame, I saw my reddened face, and Leon was rubbing circles on my back, trying to ease my coughing fit. It was strangely natural—the way he did it.

His face was ashen and remorseful as he slowly took a step back. "My lady, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were eating anything—are you okay?"

Snuffling a bit and blinking back my tears, I took a deep breath and balefully tried to mask my rising temper. "Sir Leon, can you please not creep in on people like that next time?"

"I'll keep that in mind. I'm truly sorry," he replied dejectfully.

I calmed down a little and gestured for him to take a seat.

The late afternoon glow had a fawning nature to it. Sundrip, the radiant-like glow of the orange sun slipped over everything in sight like molten gold. A translucent shield transformed colors like a coat of wet, water-color paint. The light seeping from the café window rippled against the glass display on the other side, the dark leather seats, and Leon Sanders' enviously blond hair.

I bit my lip. The longer the silence stretched, the more uncomfortable I felt inside my body.

The commoner dress I wore felt starchy, rubbing against my bare skin, my clavicle, my kneecaps, and my elbow. This was why I hated cheap things.

It was distracting, it was not mixing well with the rest of the scene, and it was—

"I was surprised when I received the message," he said, breaking the silence.

"Oh, did I bother you, Sir? You must be busy with your duties, but I—"

"No, no, it's not a bother. I was the one who told my lady to contact me if you need company and not to worry. I'm not busy today—I just never thought my lady would want me as a company."

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

He fiddled with his fingers, looking nervous. "I'm just a lowly knight—"

I interrupted him by putting my index finger on his lips. He was surprised at the sudden touch, even blushing slightly. "Don't say that. I invited you for an outing because you're a wonderful company—it doesn't matter what your status is." I spouted nonsense that most humble heroines probably would say in this situation and felt like puking.

"A wonderful company? Me?"

I put on my best smile. "Of course you are. Sir Leon, I wouldn't have invited you if you're a bad company."

"Leon."

"Huh?" I blinked.

"Just Leon."

"Just... Leon?"

He stared at me shyly, the tips of his ears tinted red. "Just call me Leon, my lady."

I pressed my lips together to keep myself from smirking. "Alright then. In exchange, how about calling me Stella when we're alone?"

His eyes widened. "How dare I—no, I mean, even though it's not my lady's real name, but how could I call my lady casually?"

"It's okay. It's better that way when we're undercover."

"But still—"

"Come on, try it," I urged.

"What?"

"Call me."

"My lady—"

I pouted. He looked nervous, then slowly opened his mouth. "Ste—Stella."

"There you go." I smiled at him.

He returned the smile. "So, where do you want to go today?"

"I've wanted to visit the night market, so maybe we can go there?"

He agreed obediently. After paying the bill, he led me outside the café.

The night market was one of the must-have scenes in a fantasy romance novel, so of course, I needed to go to one. Besides that, I also wanted him to associate the market with me instead of Electra by making new memories together.

As soon as we stepped into the shopping district, all kinds of stalls bloomed upon the street as if flowers sprung from the concrete.

Syrenna Market was an outdoor shopping area located on a side street from the town square. It was centered around a Victorian wrought iron arcade whose shop facades were painted over in a bright technicolor palette. Its most noticeable landmark was the small, gothic building sitting at the center—a church.

The crowd had a life of its own, and they moved like enchanting shoals of fish. There was chatter between sellers and buyers everywhere, old friends catching up, new friends made, but to say I feel drowned in crowds made as much sense as a raindrop protesting to join the ocean.

I pulled the hood of my cloak farther down my face as we walked down the crowded street.

Leon must have sensed my discomfort and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" I put on my best acting skills, trying to act nonchalantly. "Should we go try some snacks?"

"Snacks? As in street foods?"

"Of course. What else?"

"Are you okay with eating those?" He sounded concerned.

"Of course! Come on!" I hooked my arm around his and dragged him with me.

The thought of my plan seemingly working brought an anticipating smile. If it meant I had to eat unknown food and get an indigestion later, so be it.

Leon only shook his head helplessly, but he was smiling, even his eyes—

"Miss, why don't you try our chicken skewer?"

"Miss, our cookies are the best!"

"Miss, our..."

Leon and I tasted all sorts of exquisite food samples handed to us by hopeful sellers. We went through various food stalls, and soon, his hands filled with pouches and little boxes.

For a moment, I felt like I was back in my past life—doing what a normal twenty-year-old does, going out with friends after class and being carefree and actually feeling thrilled about eating something—that my life was simple and not a walking memorandum of tragedy and trauma and—

"Stella, here's what you ordered." As if to distract me from thinking further, Leon returned just in time with my cream bun.

I accepted it with a forced smile. "Thank you."

***

Our little adventure continued with me suggesting we go to the construction sites of the new orphanage near the market to see the progress—for sentiment purposes, of course.

However, as we approached our destination, Leon seemed too enthusiastic, and he started telling a particularly engaging story about one of his misadventures in his younger days. Caught up in the narrative, he didn't notice the uneven cobblestone pathway and suddenly stumbled.

I reached out to steady him, but it was too late. We both tumbled forward, and I found myself pushed into a rose bush that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The thorny branches scratched the sleeve of my dress, and I let out an involuntary yelp.

What the fuck—

Leon quickly recovered and extended a hand to help me up. His cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I didn't see that coming. I'm not usually this clumsy."

No shit! It's just my bad luck rubbing off on you!

I faked a laugh despite my scratched arms and the bits of leaves stuck in my hair. "It's alright. Just a little adventure on our way."

He chuckled, seemingly relieved that I wasn't angry. "Well, I suppose we should count it as part of the adventure then. A memorable start, right?"

We shared a good-natured laugh as he plucked a stray rose petal from my hair before continuing our walk.

We stopped in front of the still half-finished building. There was some sort of satisfaction in seeing my hard work come to fruition. Not everything was an act—I did care about this empire—because it was mine.

"The construction seems to be going well. You did such a great job, Stella."

"Thank you. I just want to do what the past empress couldn't do."

Leon became quiet.

"It seems difficult, right?" I asked.

"Yes..."

"The more reason why I should do it." I shrugged. "I won't call myself a good person, but I want to do something good."

"How did you come up with this?"

"I really love this nation. I love my people. I love my job, where I have the power to change things for the better. That sincerity is what I bring forward for this project." I turned to him and smiled. "I think if you truly love what you do and work hard, your sincerity would be able to reach people and bring happiness to them."

I tilted my head when I noticed his staring. "What?"

"Nothing." He covered his eyes with his arm nervously. "I just think that you're truly amazing. This empire is lucky to have you."

His ears... were red.

I can't believe this bullshit truly works.

We continued our walk before settling on one of the park benches. The silence stretched before he broke it again with his nonsense.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon."

"Wha—ah, yes." I was a bit flustered. My mind quickly came up with another bullshit to say, but I stopped myself when I caught his expression. "Then why do you look so sad?"

"No, I—" He sighed. "It's just that... the moon reminds me of someone."

I tilted my head slightly, hoping it would give him the hint to elaborate more.

"She's someone who resembles the moon. Bright eyes, bright smile, always glowing with full splendor to all willing to look," he said fondly.

"Wow, really? She sounds like an incredible person. You should introduce me to her next time."

He shook his head sadly. "I don't think it's possible. She's no longer here."

"Why?" I faked a gasp. "Is she—I'm sorry—"

"Oh, no, no, she's not dead if that's what you thought," he clarified. "She's just...she's just harder to see than most."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is she your lover?"

He hesitated. "No, she's not my lover but someone very dear to me—a family. Yes, a family."

"Ah, I see."

He missed her that much, huh?

It wasn't like they never met after the regression. One of Electra's unique abilities was that she could get into someone's dream—even altering her age as she pleased. She could appear as a child, teenager, or adult. That was how she communicated with Leon, though she couldn't come often because her power was limited due to her lack of physical form.

Tsk... It's annoying.

"Why does the moon look so beautiful tonight?" He mumbled. "It shines so bright even with no shortage of stars around it—"

"The stars are there," I blurted out.

"What?" He looked at me in confusion.

"The stars." I didn't want to sound offended, but the words came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "It never leaves the sky. You can't always see them, but they're always there."

"Is that so? I didn't know that." He chuckled. "Maybe because the moon is so beautiful that the stars seem invisible."

Ah, I see.

I guess love could do that. It could take away one's ability to see other than what mattered most to them, just like now as we sat here looking up at the sky and marveling at the beauty of the moon and the stars.

But you see, if one were so taken by the beauty of the moon... they wouldn't care that the stars have disappeared like Leon said—just like the author didn't care about my existence.

I frowned in disdain, suddenly regretting having brought up the damn topic.

I genuinely believe that an author placed bits of their consciousness into the things they wrote. So I would think the percentage of these vixen authors writing from a place of self-imposed fantasies and desires was very high.

I wanted nothing more than to grab the god or author or whoever the fuck made this book world by the collar and demand an answer about why Electra unnecessarily became the center of the universe—just why?

But the thought of actually hearing how special she was made me want to hurl the contents of my stomach until I was severely dehydrated and died.

Leon seemed to have sensed my discomfort.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly—still, it didn't ease the lump that had already clogged my chest.

"Will you ever get tired of asking it?"

"Only if you get tired of answering it."

We both chuckled at the dry humor.

I sighed as I looked up at the sky, though there wasn't much to see except for the moon since the stars were currently invisible—a remembrance of how insignificant I was, just a blot in the sky.

How depressing.

You see, the birth of a star was a tedious thing.

In theory, it sounded remarkable—floating masses of clouds collapsing on each other due to the force of gravity.

It took a million years—a million precarious years and an excruciating amount of miracles to happen at precisely the right time and the right place for enough energy to build—for the molecules in the gasses and particles to start fusing with one another and form the protostar which then went onward to a new life.

The newborn star was sometimes larger than even the sun—its brilliant green mist with bursts of red around its edges and unfused clouds and dust particles cocooning its sides. According to mythology, centaurs could observe such a thing with their naked eyes.

I remember my excitement when I was given the chance to use a telescope on my school trip as Hanbyeol when I was ten. I hadn't understood any of it then, but I thought it looked magnificent.

Now—I knew better.

Every star was born with the electrifying possibility to burn as bright as the sun before collapsing by the force of everything else—the energy inside burnt and burnt out and died little by little.

So yeah, the death of a star... Well, it was something much less remarkable than the beginning suggested—or the anticipation of it.

When a star burnt out, it sometimes became a red giant before bursting into an explosive supernova. Sometimes, it spread its carcass over the cosmos, and sometimes, it took eons to recover from the heat of its leftovers.

But other times, they died quietly, with a broken dignity—turning into a dark star without much of a show and becoming invisible to even the centaurs.

Staring at the night sky littered with dead stars—I wondered if the feeling of being an extra character might be the same as being as invisible as a dark star.

***

Author's Note:

I'm finally back. Do you guys miss me? I apologize for the long wait. I hope everyone is doing well! I am really grateful for the old readers who continue to like and read this story and I would love to thank and welcome all the new readers! Votes and comments are always welcome.

This chapter's theme song is Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift:

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

I should not be left to my own devices

They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving
'Cause you got tired of my scheming

(For the last time)

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby
And I'm a monster on the hill
Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

I wake up screaming from dreaming

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning
(For the last time)

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money
She thinks I left them in the will
The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out

"She's laughing up at us from hell"

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees

It's me, hi (hi), I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)

At tea (tea) time (time), everybody agrees (everybody agrees)
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero