"Thank you for coming to bid us goodbye, Father-in-Law."

I raised my brow at Arsen's friendly way of calling my father. Usually, he only ever called him Duke Berenice or Your Grace, but when I saw that my father didn't give much reaction to it, I decided to just let it be for now and ask him later.

Arsen smiled at my father and acknowledged the Berenice staff standing a few distances behind him. I, too, did the same beside him.

"It's only proper for me to send you off, Your Majesty," my father replied graciously and gave a polite bow with his hand in front of his chest.

Arsen went off to say goodbye to the knights, and I was left alone with my father.

Along with a proper goodbye, my father had surprisingly sent carriages full of gifts for us to the point that it looked like a procession going off to the capital in a lengthy line full of knights, servants, and luggage.

This was so untypical of my father though, being this over the top.

Is mother's extravagance finally rubbing off on him?

"This is for you," my father said. Though his face was still as expressionless as ever, his voice strangely turned a few shades softer than when he spoke to Arsen. He handed me a box, and I raised a questioning brow at him. "It's chocolate. You used to like them."

Well, this is new.

I grinned at him. "You know me. Thank you, Father. Do you like chocolate, too?"

"No. I prefer toffee."

Oh, that was unexpected.

I thought someone with a rigid personality like him wouldn't like sweets, but it seemed like I was learning a new thing every day. You really couldn't judge a book or a person by its cover.

"I'll bring you the best toffee in the capital the next time we meet, Father."

"Thank you. You, take care," he said stiffly as if he didn't know how to give a better response.

Is it because it's how he was written?

But seriously, someone should get this man out of this cold duke persona one of these days. It's getting old at this point.

"Thank you again for the gifts, Father," I said smoothly. "And thank you for yesterday's gift as well. I received it well."

He nodded, a careful look on his stoic face.

"I will look forward to the good news, then," I added.

"I'll be in touch," he confirmed, and I almost couldn't stop myself from grinning.

In the middle of our exchange, Arsen came back to my side, but when he saw the atmosphere between my father and me, he put a gentle hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Take your time, Calypso. I'll wait."

He smiled at all of us before making his way toward the carriage.

Honestly, I had nothing to say anymore. It wasn't like my father was a chatty person in the first place, and having a casual friendly chat was like stepping on foreign land. I didn't know how to talk to him when it didn't involve some sort of plot or ploy. I guess it was the same for him. He rarely did that anyway—simply talk to his only daughter. We both suck at casual conversation, so to save us both from this awkwardness, I decided to just say goodbye to him once more and join Arsen when—

"Wait, Calypso." My father suddenly stopped me as I reached the carriage door.

He motioned to the butler, who, with just a gesture, brought forth a luxurious-looking cashmere shawl that must have cost a fortune.

I raised an eyebrow as he handed the warm and soft-looking scarf to me.

More gifts? Seriously?

"Keep yourself warm," he stated dryly.

"Ah," I gasped.

I smiled awkwardly, feeling a little embarrassed in receiving such thoughtful consideration from my own father.

"Thank you, Father," I murmured as I gently wrapped the shawl around me.

My father's lips parted before he nodded and gave me a very subtle smile.

"Take care, Calypso."

"Take care, Father."

Arsen smiled as I walked toward him, but I stopped for a second, eyeing the carriage and the horse disdainfully. This was another plot-hole that damn author overlooked. Considering how advanced the plumbing and hygiene level in this world was, one would have thought they would invent better transportation, but no, the author gave us this shit instead because they probably thought horses and medieval settings were more romantic for fantasy romance novels.

Romantic my ass. I would kill to see them trying long distance travel in a carriage—see how they like it.

Hah, I probably should sponsor our best inventor and urge them to make better—

"Calypso?" Arsen called.

I sighed. "I'm coming."

"Are you okay? You look like you want to commit a murder?"

"No. I'm just having the urge to twist someone's neck."

He raised his eyebrow questioningly, but I just shrugged it off. He didn't press further, and just helped me get on the carriage, covering my hand with his.

I looked at our hands and suddenly thought, I don't think I ever held out my hand first. I had more memories of him holding my hand.

We sat side by side, shoulders touching, and not long after that, it began to move, leaving behind my childhood home and the nostalgic memories I had been submerged into during my stay here.

"Okay, that was probably the most awkward and stiff exchange between father and daughter that I have ever witnessed," Arsen commented as soon as we settled in a more comfortable position.

"Oh, shut up," I scowled.

"You have to admit that it's true. If you didn't look so much alike, people would think the two of you are strangers–no, they would probably think you hate each other."

We couldn't be that bad, right?

Though a bit annoyed, I was suddenly intrigued by his statement and asked, "Do I look like my father? People say I look more like my mother."

"Oh, you do, but when you stay still, your facial expression would look exactly like your father's."

I frowned. "And what kind of expression was that?"

He turned to me and pulled up the corner of his eyes with his index fingers. "An angry resting face. When you stay still and slip out of your benevolent empress persona, the corner of your eyes would rise slightly in a terrifyingly intense way and give off the look of derision to the lesser mortals as if they're scum."

"You know that sounds like a total insult to me and my father, right?"

He laughed crisply and shook his head. "It's just that both of you look ungodly cold at times that it just gives me chills. Especially when you're both standing side by side. It's as if the temperature has gone down a few degrees. I wonder if those traits have something to do with the North's cold climate."

No shit, Arsen.

Honestly, I didn't get those authors and their obsessions with making the North a barren, snowy, cold place full of monsters ruled by a cold-blooded overlord.

For goodness sake, it was so damn overrated!

But at this point, it was like a basic requirement for most romance fantasy stories.

So yeah, I guess I did inherit those traits from my father after all.

"Come on, don't sulk like that. You'll get wrinkles," he teased. "But if it would make you feel better, I think that's your charm. Your duality makes you so cool, you know."

I rolled my eyes at him. Even when I acted like I wasn't affected by his words, I actually was.

I, Calypso Berenice, was born and raised to be an empress.

Though I did enjoy the position and the benefit that came with it, it was still tiring sometimes, yet, I couldn't even complain.

No, how could I even say such a thing in the first place?

The light was easy to love, but what would people do if they know that the thing hidden behind those lights was something very rotten and ugly?

Oh, it would only be a problem.

So I would rather just put on a mask and smile. I would rather just laugh and act the way it was expected of me.

But once in a while, even that got burdensome.

I guess I understood myself a little more now, and the reason why I didn't immediately let go of him even after the regression.

Arsenio Arcturus was nice to everyone—well, mostly. He was charm personified and just so fucking amiable.

Usually, it was a trait that annoyed me the most, but maybe because I had been around so much of snobbish entitlement—so much of unnecessary disdain—I had been around snobs enough to know the difference. I had been a snob for long enough to appreciate him.

And of course he was okay with me despite knowing everything of mine that others might hate or be disgusted about—my flaws, my weaknesses, every rotten imperfection—he knew it all, yet he accepted me regardless, so of course, I wouldn't let go of that fucking hand.

Even Park Hanbyeol didn't let go of that hand, did she?

That one link. The only acceptance.

"You seem to be in a good mood since yesterday." Arsen's voice brought me back from my wandering thoughts.

"I lost a game of chess to my father," I answered truthfully.

He stared at me in confusion. "Is that something to be happy about?"

"Definitely." I gave him a side glance and smirked slyly.

Arsen narrowed his eyes, focusing on my hand in particular. Following his gaze, I looked down and was surprised to see what I was holding in my hand. "Since when have I been holding this?"

Arsen tilted his head in confusion and answered, "Since the carriage started moving. You didn't notice?"

No, I didn't notice.

Did I subconsciously take it out of my pocket?

I guess sometimes my body just had a mind of its own.

"What's with the white rook anyway? I saw the butler give you the box with the rook yesterday night."

"It's just a little gift from my father." I shrugged.

"And so are those endless carriages filled with gifts," Arsen snorted as he pointed at the long line of carriages behind ours. "What makes this gift special?"

"Let's just say that this is a little token of promise from my father to my request."

"What did you request of him?"

"I'll tell you later when the time is right," I responded as I put back the rook inside my dress's inner pocket.

Arsen's eyes turned up to regard me with silent annoyance, but then he could only sigh in defeat after seeing my smirk widen. "Yeah, okay. Do whatever you want, but make sure to tell me immediately if you need help with anything. Anything at all." His voice dropped. "Just don't keep me in the dark, please."

"What? Don't you have faith in me?"

"Well, when it comes to important matters, I learned from you the hard way to only trust myself." Arsen turned his head at me, facing me head-on. "So if it's about you and your safety... Then yes, I only trust myself."

That's new... again.

I blinked at him, realizing finally how close we were. We were in a small space alone together, facing each other, our faces barely a little distance away as he had leaned closer to show that he meant what he said.

This is dangerous.

"What's with you being so chummy with my father earlier anyway? I never heard you call him father-in-law before," I asked, purposely changing the topic to hide my flustered face.

He seemed to get my intention though, and just played along with it. "Let's say that we kind of had a father and son-in-law bonding last night"

"You and him?" I frowned at his answer.

"Yes, we had a chat yesterday." He nodded, but upon seeing my incredulous expression, he continued, "Trust me, it's much less awkward than your exchange with your father earlier."

I scoffed, "What did you two talk about, anyway?"

He gave me a sly smirk. "I'll tell you later when the time is right."

"Since when did you become this petty?"

"I think your pettiness must have rubbed off on me."

"Urgh, whatever," I retorted, clicking my tongue.

The carriage continued on its journey, and with this inspired mood, we grew quiet, lost in our thoughts.

I looked out the window, observing the scenery. Trees turned into houses, forests into towns and villages. We passed many lakes and bridges; the sound of our breathing added to the endless clopping of the horses in our ant line of carriages.

Then he suddenly said, "Snow will be falling in the capital soon as well."

I followed his gaze, craning back my neck to take in the heavy, gray clouds and naked trees. I hadn't noticed but I guessed the weather was getting colder. "Yes. I suppose it will be."

"It's so unfair," he suddenly said and I wondered if he was aware that his voice trembled. "Why does the world get to move on as though nothing has happened?"

"Because the world is a crazy bastard."

He chuckled at my dry humor before continuing with his question, "What about us then?"

I shrugged. "The ones that can't keep up get swept under the rug and left behind. It's not like we get a choice."

He was quiet. It was something I wasn't really used to—Arsen's silence. Whatever relief it might have ignited in me before was doused in the discomfort it sparked now. I didn't like it. "Can you keep up?"

If he found my question odd, he didn't show it. He simply stared outside the window, eyebrows pulled together in a small frown as if he was truly contemplating my answer.

Eventually, he answered, "I'm trying." We were quiet for a few more moments and then his eyes slid sideways to me and he asked back, "Can you?"

I opened my mouth and wanted to laugh because the question exasperated me more than I thought it would and started wondering why I even bothered asking him.

I stayed silent.

He didn't push.

We just let the sunset soak over us, catching our breaths when they froze in the air, caressing our bittersweet youth, and allowing us to feel as if we would retain that youth forever.

"I think you can," he said quietly.

I scoffed, a sudden annoyance flaring up inside of me and before I could stop myself, I snapped, "Oh, because you know me so well, Arsen?"

The way his eyes flashed made me instantly want to grapple for the words and shove them back down my throat. I sighed, looking away.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled the foreign words in an almost inaudible voice, but I knew he heard me.

His jaw clenched regardless and he stared stonily at the moving trees outside.

"Actually, no," he said after a while. "I think you can keep up with the way life carries on because you're here, talking to me. If you were lost, if you'd been brushed under the rug as you so put it, you'd have long disappeared by now—but here you are. You're still fighting, Calypso. That has to count for something... I think it counts for everything."

I couldn't trust myself to respond as I felt my heart stop. Maybe it sped up. I wasn't sure. I didn't look at him.

Instead, I shifted beside him, wrapping the shawl a little tighter around me. It was truly getting colder. Maybe the world was in mourning, too.

When I finally gathered the courage to look at him again, he was still watching me silently with a soft smile gracing his handsome face.

Feeling uncomfortable, I muttered, "What is it?"

He shook his head gently. "Nothing. It's just nice to have you back, Calypso."

At the meaning of his words, I subconsciously gripped the shawl tighter.

"It breaks my heart when you're angry at me," he murmured. "But when you don't even want to talk to me—it drives me crazy."

I looked at him in wonder as his fingers raised toward my cheek, gently brushing across my skin. I felt goosebumps on the back of my neck at his soft, familiar touch.

"So Calypso, stop driving me crazy."

I didn't even know why, but a laugh suddenly escaped my lips, bubbling out of my throat and into the cold air. "Oh, Arsen." I shook my head, still laughing. "I'm the one who's crazy."

There was a hurricane in my head, loud and maddening, and amongst the chaos, I felt like I was sitting at the eye of it, looking at my life as a stranger.

I didn't suppose it was going to be easy. I didn't think I had it in me to be easy, but still...

I touched his cheek as he had touched mine. It was soft and warm and I knew one thing with absolute certainty.

I didn't want to let him go.

You know, the things I felt for him were pretty and vile.

What was the feeling of wanting to cut someone open and live in the iron cage of his ribs? Of melding yourself to him so your own bones won't rot?

I wanted to know everything about him. I wanted my hands to hold his. I wanted to see his face every day.

I was ashamed of it. Of feeling that way. It stripped me of power, rationality, and propriety. Though I couldn't answer whether or not I would rid myself of it if I could, as I didn't remember much of what I was before him.

This possessiveness. Is this what those yandere novel characters feel?

But when something made you feel good, maybe it was innate that you wanted to keep it to yourself without giving it out. As if saying something like, 'This is mine, so only I can get its benefits.'

It seems quite animalistic and irrational, huh?

Maybe I do share their sentiments.

"Hey, Arsen..." I tilted my head as I stared into his deep ruby eyes. "You know I'm a greedy person, right? Aren't you supposed to stay away before I get more greedy?"

Of course I didn't mean what I said. After all, I never planned to let him go from the beginning.

So, can't you see, my dear?

You never had a chance.

So don't bother running from me.

His eyes widened, genuinely not expecting this reaction.

How cute.

Arsen parted his lips then and spoke, "Are you the only greedy one?"

Surrounded by the passing trees and the brilliant white of wintry dreams swirling outside our carriage windows, I watched the boy who was as broken and as twisted and as selfish as me, and he watched me, too.

A look of mutual understanding crossed our faces at that moment.

Here we were, two imperfect people full of hatred and suffering and ungratefulness toward life...

Ah yes, this is comforting.

After all, you can't judge someone who's just like you, right?

So hey, let's burn—no, how about drown in this together, my darling?

It would be nice.

***

There was a bump in the road, and it startled me awake.

As I slowly peeped my eyes open, I found that my head was resting on Arsen's shoulder.

"Hmm?" I hummed incoherently.

"Good morning."

I heard a deep murmur right beside my ear and it sobered me up a little.

I blinked my eyes a few times as I tried to adjust my vision. Golden threads of morning light slipped through the window, announcing that a new day had just begun.

Still sleepy, I lifted my head from Arsen's shoulder and stretched as I gave him a side glance.

Judging from his messy appearance, he, too, seemed to have just woken up, though there was something unusual about his expression.

His lips and cheeks had such a sweet and pleasant blush to them and his ruby eyes already had that mischievous glow in them.

It gave me a bad feeling.

I was right about it, because the next second, Arsen parted his lips and spoke lazily, "You have drool on your face."

I flustered. My face flushed red as I quickly wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I don't drool," I hissed under my breath. "You must be dreaming."

"Oh, am I?" He asked innocently. "Strange. This stain looks too real to be a dream." He pointed at the clearly obvious drool stain on the fabric of his robe.

I flushed even more in embarrassment.

Damn it! It's so humiliating!

I gritted my teeth and glared at him. "Just—what do you get by teasing me so early in the morning?"

"Oh, a lot. Seeing this cute expression of yours for starter—"

"Cut it off already!"

He grinned, not minding my glower at all. Instead, his smile looked so genuine that it was getting—

"You're so annoying." I huffed and puffed, crossing my hands defensively in front of my chest, trying to strengthen my shaking heart.

How troublesome.

It went on for a while. He would keep on teasing me and I would keep on ignoring him as I glared daggers at him.

The victory was mine though, as he ended up being the one who yielded first.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry for teasing you, Your Majesty. I'll stop now," he chuckled softly as his fingers combed my long hair, trying to tame my morning hair like what he often did when we were kids.

It wasn't awkward. On the contrary, it was comfortable. Like he could be doing this forever and I wouldn't mind.

I glanced out the window and saw the Imperial Palace standing in the distance. It wouldn't take much longer until we arrived at our destination.

As we got closer, I suddenly remembered the first time I had crossed the iron entrance of the Imperial Palace when I was seven. Remembered being enthralled, tongue-tied at the magnanimity of it. All of it.

The stone guards had been large and overpowering with a deep, dark bronze tint after a millennia of watching over the palace. A thousand years of sunlight and the courtyard stretched open and wide and so alive.

Everything had felt vibrant and teeming and buzzing with an ancient, deep, dark, majestic aura.

I had dreamt about it and made plans for it for so long and it wasn't even close. It was all so great and big and remarkable, really. Vibrating. Vigorous.

I had been living in splendid property all my life, but it never felt so... purposeful. So unique. So mine.

I had decided right then and there, that it was mine. This palace. This position.

Him.

I glanced at the man who sat beside me, and suddenly, I wasn't afraid of staying so far away from my old home anymore—the familiar manor where it was too silent, too plaintive.

This is my home. 

***

Author's Note:

This chapter is rather laid back after such an emotional roller coaster in the last chapter, right? Well, I did receive a lot of comments about people crying in the last chapter. Pretty satisfying if I'm being honest. At least I'm not the only one crying over that particular chapter. Lol... But well, we need a good amount of balance in this story.

I found in a lot of other stories how the royalties doesn't like being royalty, but that's not the case with Calypso. She wouldn't trade that for anything, even if she have to die again. That's why, giving up her place and run away was never the option. I think that fact is pretty much established at this point. 

Thank you to everyone who has been supporting me up to this point. It never crossed my mind that I would dedicate this much time and emotion to a story that I wrote on a whim, yet here I am. I've met a lot of good and very supportive people through this story, and that's what makes this story more meaningful to me. So again, thank you for sticking with me. You guys mean a lot to me.

Anyway, I think I found the perfect theme song for our dear Calypso here. If only her story is a movie, I can imagine this song as one of the soundtracks. Hahaha...

Happy - NF

Dear God, please, hear me out
I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached out and said hello
I bet You're wondering

Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressing all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have
No excuse to give you, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls I been avoiding
Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip
Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips
Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Don't know what's around the bend
Don't know what my future is
But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy

https://youtu.be/1rc1H6lJd6E