Arsen put me down on my bed carefully and ordered everyone to leave the room. He didn't even let the royal physician check on his bleeding hand, saying that it wasn't a deep wound. He was so stubborn about it that they couldn't help but comply.

The door closed with a quiet click. "Everyone's left. You can open your eyes now."

I sighed and snapped my eyes open. It wasn't like I expected him to buy my acting since he must have noticed how I had tried to see the situation through my half-closed eyelid.

It didn't take long for me to leap to my feet and the next second, I swung my hand and slapped Arsen straight across his face, resulting in a loud sound from the impact.

"Calypso?" Arsen held a hand against his cheek, stunned.

I couldn't have hurt him too much. After all his years of training, he would have gotten used to bigger and more powerful blows. But he looked kind of dumb with his eyes wide open and a half-open frown on his face, too shocked to even blink.

The silence between us didn't last long. The anger that had welled up in my chest was finally exploding, and all the courtesy and manners I usually upheld when speaking to him were gone. "You stupid egotistical moron! How could you do something so undignified and degrading in front of the court just to defend that... that woman? Are you out of your mind?"

I was so enraged that I was tempted to twist his neck. No, not only that! His foolishness also made me lose my rationality for a second and did something equally dumb and reckless.

If only he hadn't acted so foolishly in front of the court, then I wouldn't have had the impulse to tell the truth and get caught up in this bloody mess.

Now I needed to do damage control quickly before rumors about a suicidal empress spread throughout the empire. It certainly won't do any good for my current image and project.

Luckily, the court was on my side. I doubted they would do anything that could damage my reputation. I didn't think they believed I tried to kill myself anyway—probably thought it was just my excuse to defend Phoebe. And if Constantine tried to spread rumors about my attempted suicide, he would just end up looking like he was trying to cover up for Phoebe, so I was sure he wouldn't be foolish enough to do that either.

He sighed and pinched his nose. "So the reason for your outburst is just because I tried to defend a wrongly accused woman in front of the stupid court?"

"Just because you tried to defend a wrongly accused woman in front of the stupid court?" I wanted to tear my own hair in frustration. "Don't you have pride? Or do I really need to remind you that you, Arsenio Arcturus, are the bloody emperor? You're the face of this empire. Everybody in this nation, me included, is on your shoulders. So you shouldn't—you can't do something so humiliating!"

"Humiliating, huh? It always comes down to pride for you, doesn't it?" His expression was dark. "Look at you, the great Calypso Berenice. So high in your high horse. Always above everyone and everything. Do people's lives matter less to you than your stupid pride?"

I blinked. What?

He caught my facial tick. "What? Like this is news to you? Calypso, since you came into this palace as an empress, you've changed. You don't care about anyone or anything unless it's related to your duties as empress."

"No..." I found myself shaking my head in denial. "That's not true—"

"Yes, it is! Did you even notice that we've hardly spent any time together since we got married? We used to talk to each other about everything and see each other practically every day. But now—you don't even call me by my name even when we're alone. So hasn't the clever and great Calypso figured it out? I'll tell you!" He stepped forward and thrust an accusing finger at me. "Because you don't care anymore, you don't care about us. We've known each other since we were kids, but this version of you, I barely know you anymore."

I felt my breath catch in my chest and I took a step back in response. My anger disappeared. It wasn't true. It couldn't be—

"God, I was so excited when my childhood friend finally came to live with me in this castle! But you... you don't care, Calypso. I know you take your job as an empress seriously, and I respect that. But you've been treating me like a ghost these last few years as if... as if I don't matter. Like I never mattered."

"Stop saying nonsense!" I shouted.

"No, just let me talk for once!" Arsen shouted back, his flush growing from his cheeks down his neck and toward the neckline of his shirt. This was the first time I ever saw him this angry and emotional. It was so... overwhelming. "You probably got a lot on your plate. I did, too. Still, I've tried to reach out to you! I've tried for a while, but you're so guarded and... prickly. It started hurting me to even try. And no, of course you didn't ask for that; you never would, because you think it's high and mighty to do everything by yourself! But I want to help you, too. I want to care for you. I want to spend time with my best friend. I want to talk to you about my day, not just about bloody business or politics. I want to take a walk with you in the garden and show you a lot of wonderful, gorgeous things and there you are, all clinical and detached. How could you?"

This is a strange turn of events, I thought wildly. When did this become about me? My eyes were wide and my mouth open as I listened to his version of our relationship implode in my bedroom.

"But I thought—hey, that's my childhood friend. She's always been a hard worker. Never mind, she'll eventually come around. But you... you never did!"

But I died for you, you ungrateful bastard! I thought to myself furiously, my anger roaring back as I listened to his rampage. How dare he belittle my feelings for him just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and present it to him on a silver platter!

"Oh, don't you dare use that against me," I snapped back. "It doesn't change the fact that we're all in this mess because of your stupidity, not mine!"

Arsen suddenly laughed out loud and for a second I thought there was something seriously wrong with his head. I must not be the only one who was affected by the whole regression thing. If I remember the content of the novel correctly, he also went through hell and back.

"Yeah, you're not wrong about that," he said after he finally stopped laughing. His voice was softer this time, and there was something in the way his eyes stared at mine. "Because of course everything is always my fault, doesn't it?"

I didn't answer him. There was an uncomfortable silence as I let his words sink in. I hated how his voice sounded too broken; too sad. He wasn't supposed to have that expression—but what I hated the most was how it made me wonder if he was indeed saying some truth.

I always fancied myself to be the only person who truly cared for Arsen; the one who truly loved him. I worked so hard to be the perfect empress so that I wouldn't embarrass him. But was I truly that horrible to him all this time? Did I unconsciously neglect him because I was too preoccupied with proving myself?

"So," he started again after calming down a bit. "Are we going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Your whole suicide thing."

"I don't want to talk about it." I turned away and headed toward the bed. Maybe pretending to be tired would make him leave.

"Is what you said true? Or was it just something you made up to shut those old geezers?"

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it." I raised my voice this time. "What's there to say anyway?"

"Why must everything be so difficult with you? I'm only trying to understand—"

"Can you just shut your mouth?" I interrupted, glaring daggers at him. "You're so infuriating!"

"What?" Arsen sputtered. "What did I do now?"

"What did you do? I had this... this entire plan to handle the court more rationally, and you just, you just—"

He snorted. "Oh, so sorry that I disrupted perfect Calypso's grand plan! Because everything must be exactly as Calypso says, right? After all, I'm just the stupid puppet emperor. That's how it's always been. Calypso says jump and I don't have the chance to say no, it's all how high?'"

The reaction came a bit late because my brain freeze for a second, trying to process everything, then I roared back, "How dare you—"

"Nothing was ever good enough for you after we got married. You're just so obsessed with being the perfect empress as if you're trying to prove God knows what—"

"I'm not obsessed with being perfect!" I retorted defensively, taking a step back as if slapped.

"You just pretend you are and it's kind of aggravating," he said slowly and carefully. "No one is. But you just pretend to not have any and then impose on the rest of us, mere mortals, these lofty, impractical expectations."

"Truly? I'm the problem?"

"It's not that simple." He sighed. "You just never communicate with me properly ever since you became the empress. You don't tell me anything. And now, I don't even know if what happened at the trial hall earlier was some part of your grand scheme or not."

My mouth gaped open at his words. "Did you... did you think I faked the whole thing?"

He didn't answer and just stared at me, his ruby-like eyes bearing into mine.

"How could you? You of all people should have known me better—"

He gave me a bitter look before replying, "It's because I know you that I asked you this. Have you forgotten that I've been with you since we were kids?"

"What?"

"No offense, but do you have any idea how deceitful and cruel you can be?"

What the—does he really need to point that out? I folded my arms across my chest and glared. "I am not!"

"You are!" He insisted. "When you want something, or when someone gets in your way or dares to correct you or point out a flaw—you can be absolutely vicious! You're not beyond pulling some tricks as long as it serves your purpose."

"I—don't you dare lecture me!" I screamed, but my voice was shaking as if those weren't the words I meant to speak.

"See!" He gestured at me, proving his point.

I stood in stunned silence, hating that I couldn't even retort his statement because he was right.

"And I wasn't lecturing you. It's more of a reality check," he added.

Fuck you!

I wanted to scream at him—deny everything and defend myself, but the meaningless argument started to tire me, and my temples ached so much I had to stop to massage them.

"Just... just leave. We're done talking for today," I finally said.

He seemed like he wanted to protest but at seeing my expression, he looked thoroughly defeated; exhausted. Without another word, he walked out of my bedroom, leaving me alone with my fucked up thoughts.

***

Author's Note:

Finally, we get a bit more of a different side of the story. As I always say, my protagonists aren't perfect; I made them that way. So don't expect them to be. I want them to be human. Don't forget, real people do make mistakes, like getting angry and throwing tantrums, and other stuff, even if it isn't right. And sometimes, they do end up hurting the ones they love. I want to know what you think about their argument in this chapter though. Do you think Calypso is blameless? Is she also at fault? Please let me know. Hahaha...

Anyway, I'm planning on opening a Discord server for my loyal readers soon. There, I would share early chapters, illustrations, etc. You can also ask me questions, discuss the story, or just talk about anything even if it's not story related. We can just chill and hang out if you want. Well, I'd probably ask for your opinion on some matters as well, but you will get the privilege of seeing behind the scenes of my writing process and early access to my story. If you're interested in joining, please let me know in the comment or DM me. I'd only open the server for a limited number of people for now, so grab yours fast.

The theme song from this chapter is Lost in the Moment by NF, and it's from Arsen's perspective. It basically says a lot of things about their relationship so far. I really recommend you guys listen and read the lyrics. And because I was tempted, I'd write down a piece of the lyrics.

I heard that pictures don't change
Just the people inside of 'em do
Whoever told you that life would be easy
I promise that person was lyin' to you
You got a problem with followin' through
That's why I got a problem with followin' you
You keep lookin' at me like this problem is new

But we've been here before, what you tryin' to do?
Don't talk to me like I don't know what you feeling
'Cause I was there with you back in the beginning
Quit looking away when I talk, let me finish
I'm tryna be honest, you're tryna forget me, ugh
What's wrong with you, hey?
I know that you got a lot on your plate
You keep telling me I should get out of your way
But I can't see how you gon' lie to my face

Don't tell me you fine 'cause I know that you not so don't even try
And what we gon' live for in this life full of pain
'Til we're eighty and one day we'll get up and say we regretted our lives
That's where we going
Do not pretend like you don't even notice
Funny thing is that you already know it
I'm starting to think that you like how I feel so be lost in the moment