I'm losing my fucking grip. I'm relapsing honestly. I'm fucking getting bad again but I'm more worried about you and how you are, to focus on my own issues so I avoid them by riding my longboard and listening to loud music and not sleeping because my nightmares are fucking turning back into me waking up having anxiety attacks. I'm slipping away and no one has noticed. I've gotten so good at hiding it I even fooled you into thinking I was okay. The worse thing is I actually thought my happiness wouldn't fade and that I'd truly be okay. I guess I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong.