Disclaimer: Chapter 1

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"Captain Spock, detecting unauthorized access to water turbine control board," Chekov reported as I walked back through the doors onto the bridge. I felt silly that I kept leaving the bridge because I was so emotionally compromised, but I had spent almost two hours meditating after Spock pushed me to go do as I needed until I could function, and it was very helpful.

"Bring up the video," Spock ordered, leaning over Chekov's shoulder. I suddenly felt anger as well as confusion flood Spock as he commanded, "Security, seal the engineering deck. We have intruders in turbine section 3. Set phasers to stun."

Spock and I shared a small look, mine conveying confusion while his conveyed impatience with the intruder, making my confusion ever more prominent as Spock turned back to work.

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It was only minutes before Kirk and some wet guy was brought onto the bridge.

"Who are you?" Spock demanded from the wet man.

"I'm with him," the wet man answered. At the same time Jim spoke.

"He's with me."

"We're traveling at warp speed. How did you manage to beam aboard this ship?"

"Hey you're the genius, you figure it out," Jim interrupted rudely.

"As acting captain of this vessel, I order you to answer the question." I felt Spock's rising anger, and I stood, slowly walking toward the group.

"Well I'm not telling, acting captain." It was silent aside from my light footsteps. "What, did-? What now? That doesn't frustrate you, does it? My lack of cooperation, that-that doesn't make you angry?"

"Are you a member of Starfleet?" Spock asked, turning back to the wet man as he tried to bury his emotions. I was reaching for any amount of calm I possessed in the sea of confusion and concern and heartbreak still pulsing through me, and began to attempt to magnify it so I could send it forth to the group.

"I... Uhm... yes. Can I get a towel, please?"

"Under penalty of court martial I order you to explain to me how you were able to beam aboard the ship while moving at warp?"

"Well-"

"Don't answer him," Kirk demanded and I felt another flash of--much more prominent--anger emanate from Spock.

"You will answer me."

"I'd rather not take sides."

"What is it with you, Spock? Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and... you're not even upset," Jim said incredulously.

"If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken."

"And yet you were the one who said fear was necessary for command. I-d-did you his ship? Do you see what he did?"

"Yes, of course I did." I tried to send a small wave of calm over the group only to see Jim glare at me. My shock at Jim's anger towards me retracted the calm I had sent for a moment.

"Jim-" I quietly tried to interject.

"So are you afraid or aren't you?" he ignored me.

"Jim, please-"

"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion."

"Then why don't you stop me?"

"Step away from me, Mr. Kirk," Spock growled. His anger was bubbling over the surface, and I became frantic, searching for the calm I had latched onto before.

"What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak? Or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?"

"Back away from me," Spock demanded, growling fiercely.

"Jim, please!"

"You feel nothing!"

"Jim!" I yelped.

"It must not even compute for you."

"Jim!" I yelled, scrambling for the calm I once possessed and send it forth to calm Spock's raging emotions.

"You never loved her!"

With that, Spock snapped, screaming in anger as he swung at Kirk, easily overtaking him. He held Kirk by his neck, choking him, and I was frozen for a moment.

"Spock," Sarek called. Nothing.

I came forward, placing my fingertips on Spock's neck, sending waves of calm I had objectified from his stoic father. I noted the hot sensation pulsing through my fingers, but I refused to acknowledge it.

"Spock," I murmured. "Stop. Please, Spock."

Immediately, he let go. He took a step back and looked at me and my calm, sad eyes, before looking around at the rest of the crew's horrified expressions. He was breathing heavily, overwhelmed. I watched as he slowly walked to Bones.

"Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

Spock left, sparing me one last glance before he left, the lift doors closing. I knew then that I had to go after him.

I began walking slowly and quietly, only to hear the wet man exclaim, "I like this ship! You know it's exciting!"

"Well congratulations, Jim, now we've got no captain and no God damn first officer to replace him," Bones' voice said sarcastically.

"Yeah we do," Jim replied.

"What?"

"Pike made him first officer," Sulu said,

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"Thanks for the support," Jim sounded sarcastic now.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing, Captain," Ny said sarcastically.

"So do I."

I sighed as I entered the elevator and made my way down to the transporter room, somehow knowing, in my heart, that was where he would be. I ignored the announcement Kirk made as I stood in the elevator, going after the man who needed me-who needed his best friend.

"Speak your mind Spock," I heard Sarek's voice as I stood in the doorway. I stepped in quietly. Spock was standing, staring at the transporter pad where his mother should have been.

"That would be unwise."

"What is necessary is never unwise."

There was a small pause.

"I am as conflicted as I once was as a child."

"You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this. And for you," he admitted, love and pain emanating from him. Spock looked to his father.

"I feel anger for the one who took mother's life. An anger I cannot control."

"I believe she would say... do not try to," and we all knew that was what she would say. His father continued after a moment. "You asked me once, why I married your mother... I married her because I loved her."

Even I froze at that. Not because of what he said-I already knew he loved Amanda-but because of the emotions that came with the confession. He held the exact rose-colored emotion within him as I held within me whenever I so much as thought of the half-Vulcan in front of me. I realized then it was time for me to come to terms with the cold, hard truth about what was within my heart.

I honestly, deeply, cared for Spock.

And with that, Sarek turned, giving me a knowing look as he passed me. He placed his hand on my shoulder for a small moment as he passed, and I nodded to him. I waited a moment before I spoke out.

"Spock," I called to the man at the transporter pad. He didn't move, but I felt his awareness of me as well as his acknowledgement.

I slowly walked up to him, keeping my head down. "I understand," I whispered, mimicking what he told me telepathically only hours earlier.

He pulled me lightly by my wrist to stand in front of him, my back to his chest. I stood where he wanted me and he pulled me slowly and gently so I was close enough to feel his body heat, as well as every tiny emotion he was feeling as he reached for my hand and tangled his fingers with mine, his palm to the back of my hand. My heartbeat increased exponentially.

Especially when I felt his own rose-colored emotion swirled in with his anger, his sadness, his confusion, and his shame. The emotion was swirling to the top as he pulled me even closer, nuzzling his nose into my neck gently. Tingling heat swirled through my entire body, emanating from his touches.

"I know," he admitted quietly.

My own emotions were going crazy. I felt despair for those Spock and I lost. I felt anger toward the people who took them from us. I felt disappointment and shame for being incapable of helping anyone-for being so emotionally compromised, that I hadn't been a service to anyone. I felt butterflies, for what was going on in that moment, and I would have wondered if this was somehow just Spock seeking comfort for the day's happenings, if it weren't for that silly rose-colored emotion I saw within him.

I turned my face slightly to look at him as he brushed his lips against me. My heart was thrumming in anticipation.

"Spock," I called quietly. He took a breath.

"Maeve," he murmured, sending shocks of electricity and heat through me.

"I never told your mother... I wanted to... I thought... I'd have a chance, but now..." I took a shaking sigh. "I know she was very fond of it, and I knew she knew-even when I didn't-that I was fond of you... though I wasn't willing to admit it to even myself at the time... But I knew she was hoping to see it one day..."

I felt ridiculous.

"Your mother sent you to take dance lessons because dance meant a lot to her. And so did you. If I told her this, she would have laughed... She would have been happier than I had ever seen her..."

If you told her what? he urged in my mind lightly, trailing his fingers up my bare arm. It sent shivers down my spine. I stopped for a moment, realizing the tingling, warm, contact we shared opened a telepathic link once more. Telepathy was something I've never shared with anyone before.

"If I told her I cared for you... that she was right after all, and I did have feelings for you... and that I knew how to dance, too... If I told her... I wanted to dance with you... Because dancing is, by far, one of the most," I sighed quietly here, passion filling me as I spoke, tears betraying my eyes. "Intimate and wonderful things you can do with another... I wish she was still here for me to tell her... She would have laughed... she would have been so happy... I wish I told her before it was too late... if only just to hear her laugh so happily once more... I'm sorry, Spock..."

Spock said nothing for a moment before he turned me gently, holding my chin and lifting it to see my face. His eyes were dark with emotion, his gorgeous dark brown eyes almost black.

"You... have feelings for me?" I nodded, the tears overflowing and spilling over.

"I do," I admitted.

Slowly, he leaned in. Lightly, he brushed his lips against mine. Not quite a kiss, but enough for me to understand exactly what he was trying to say.

He cared for me as well.

Despite regulation.

Despite propriety.

He cared for me too.

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Up on the Bridge

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"Oi, Cap'n!" Scotty called joyously to Jim. He motioned him over to look at the security camera he happened to see over Chekov's shoulder of the transporter room.

"Sir, I do not think-" Chekov began.

"Oh, lighten up!" Scotty insisted. Jim came over and was shocked at what he saw.

"What-"

"Chekov, project it on-screen!" Scotty demanded.

"Sir, I am certain that this is private, they probably do not wish for anyone to-"

"Then they shouldn't be talking like this where anyone could see!" Scotty reached over and set the image of Spock pulling Maeve into an embrace, her back to his chest onto the big screen where everyone could see. "I thought you said they weren't married? Vulcans don't do that with just anybody. And not somewhere the whole world can see."

"They weren't even involved more than a teacher-student relationship," Jim said, his brow furrowed. That girl was like a little sister to him, and his supposed-to-be-friend was touching her in a very un-Spock-like way. "At least I didn't think so. Can you get sound?"

At this point the entire bridge was watching the two people on the screen.

"Aye, sir," Scotty agreed. He turned it up as far as he could, as their voices were low.

"Please, sir, I really don't-" Chekov tried again just to be hushed by Uhura.

Spock was silent as he pulled Maeve closer to him.

"If I told her I cared for you... that she was right after all, and I did have feelings for you... and that I knew how to dance, too... If I told her... I wanted to dance with you... Because dancing is, by far, one of the most," She sighed, and when she spoke again, passion filled every word. "Intimate and wonderful things you can do with another... I wish she was still here for me to tell her... She would have laughed... she would have been so happy... I wish I told her before it was too late... if only just to hear her laugh so happily once more... I'm sorry, Spock..." she trailed off.

"Spock dances?" Jim asked and everyone hushed him.

Spock turned Maeve to look at him, placing his hand under her chin and pulling it up so he could see it better.

"You... have feelings for me?" Maeve nodded, the tears that had been in her eyes now spilling over.

"I do," she admitted quietly.

Slowly, he leaned in. Everyone watched in bated breath as the Vulcan man lightly brushed his lips against Maeve's. It was almost humorous how many jaws dropped at that.

Everyone turned their heads when they heard a sniffle only to find Uhura crying.

"I-I'm sorry, that's just... They're so perfect," she cried sweetly, making the girls giggle and half of the men roll their eyes as Chekov saw an opening and hastily took the video feed down.

"Right. Back to our job," Kirk said, only half joking. "And by the way," he continued. "No one is to mention this to anyone else within Starfleet. That's an order."

If any of the superiors of Starfleet found out about their relationship, Jim didn't know what would happen. He couldn't deny Maeve a happiness or an openness he'd never seen her have before. He wouldn't let it happen.

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Back to Maeve's POV

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"Mr. Chekov is correct," I said as Spock and I made our way back onto the bridge.

"We can confirm his telemetry," Spock added. "If Mr. Sulu is able to maneuver us into position I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device, and, if possible, bring back Captain Pike."

"I won't allow you to do that Mr. Spock," Kirk said.

"Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device. Also, my mother was human. Which makes Earth the only home I have left."

"Then I'm coming with you."

"I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it."

"See? We are getting to know each other," Kirk said, patting him on the shoulder. "Prepare the drill."

I couldn't stop the immense worry from filling me past the brim. I brushed the back of my hand against Spock's, exposing the emotion to him. He looked me in the eyes and nodded to me slightly, silently promising me he'd be careful. If only for my sake.

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I hope you guys liked it and PLEASEEEE review to let me know your thoughts!

Much love,

Em <3