78: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs
"Expelliarmus!" Sirius Black croaked, pointing Ron's wand at us. Mine, Harry's and Hermione's wands shot out of our hands, high inthe air, and Black caught them. Then he took a step closer. His eyeswere fixed on Harry and me.
"I thought you'd come and help your friend," he said hoarsely.His voice sounded as though he had long since lost the habit of using it. "Your father would have done the same for me. Brave of you,not to run for a teacher. I'm grateful . . . it will make everythingmuch easier. . . ."
The taunt about his father rang in my ears as though Blackhad bellowed it. A boiling hate erupted in my chest, leaving noplace for fear. For the first time in my life I wanted my wand backin my hand, not to defend myself, but to attack . . . to kill.
Without knowing what I was doing, I started forward, Harry was right behind me but there wasa sudden movement on either side of us and two pairs of handsgrabbed us and held us back. . . .
"No!" Hermionegasped in a petrified whisper; Ron, however, spoke to Black."If you want to kill Harry and Emma, you'll have to kill us too!" he saidfiercely, though the effort of standing upright was draining him ofstill more color, and he swayed slightly as he spoke.
Something flickered in Black's shadowed eyes.
"Lie down," he said quietly to Ron. "You will damage that legeven more."
"Did you hear me?" Ron said weakly, though he was clingingpainfully to me to stay upright. "You'll have to kill all four of us!"
"There'll be only one murder here tonight," said Black, and hisgrin widened.
"Why's that?" I spat, trying to wrench myself free of Ron. "Didn't care last time, did you? Didn't mindslaughtering all those Muggles to get at Pettigrew. . . . What's thematter, gone soft in Azkaban?"
"Emma!" Hermione whimpered. "Be quiet!"
"HE KILLED OUR MUM AND DAD!" Harry roared, and witha huge effort he broke free of Hermione's and Ron's restraint andlunged forward —He seemed to have forgotten about magic — he had forgotten that he wasshort and skinny and thirteen, whereas Black was a tall, full-grownman —
Perhaps it was the shock of Harry doing something so stupid,but Black didn't raise the wands in time — one of Harry's handsfastened over his wasted wrist, forcing the wand tips away; theknuckles of Harry's other hand collided with the side of Black'shead and they fell, backward, into the wall —Hermione was screaming; Ron was yelling; there was a blindingflash as the wands in Black's hand sent a jet of sparks into the airthat missed Harry's face by inches; Harry must've felt the shrunken armunder his fingers twisting madly, but he clung on, his other handpunching every part of Black it could find.
But Black's free hand had found Harry's throat —"No," he hissed, "I've waited too long —"The fingers tightened, Harry choked, his glasses askew.
Me?
That man murdered my parents. He was not about to murder my brother. I launched myself on them. All three of us rolled around. Then I saw Hermione's foot swing out of nowhere. Black let goof Harry with a grunt of pain; Ron had thrown himself on Black'swand hand and I heard a faint clatter —
I fought free of the tangle of bodies and saw my own wandrolling across the floor; I threw myself toward it but —
"Argh!"
Crookshanks had joined the fray; both sets of front claws hadsunk themselves deep into my arm; I threw him off, butCrookshanks now darted toward my wand —
"NO YOU DON'T!" I roared, and I aimed a kick atCrookshanks that made the cat leap aside, spitting; I snatchedup my wand and turned —
"Get out of the way!" I shouted at Ron and Hermione as I tossed Harry his wand.They didn't need telling twice. Hermione, gasping for breath,her lip bleeding, scrambled aside, snatching up her and Ron'swands. Ron crawled to the four-poster and collapsed onto it, panting, his white face now tinged with green, both hands clutching hisbroken leg.
Black was sprawled at the bottom of the wall. His thin chest roseand fell rapidly as he watched Harry and me walking slowly nearer, my wand pointing straight at Black's heart.
"Going to kill me, Emma?" he whispered.
Harry and I stopped right above him, my wand still pointing at Black'schest, looking down at him. A livid bruise was rising aroundBlack's left eye and his nose was bleeding.
"You killed our parents," said Harry, his voice shaking slightly,but his wand hand quite steady.Black stared up at us out of those sunken eyes.
"I don't deny it," he said very quietly. "But if you knew thewhole story."
"The whole story?" I repeated, a furious pounding in hisears. "You sold them to Voldemort. That's all we need to know."
"You've got to listen to me," Black said, and there was a note ofurgency in his voice now. "You'll regret it if you don't. . . . Youdon't understand. . . ."
"we understand a lot better than you think," said Harry, and hisvoice shook more than ever. "You never heard her, did you? Our mum . . . trying to stop Voldemort killing us . . . and you didthat . . . you did it. . . ."
Before either of us could say another word, something gingerstreaked past Harry and me; Crookshanks leapt onto Black's chest and settled himself there, right over Black's heart. Black blinked andlooked down at the cat.
"Get off," he murmured, trying to push Crookshanks off him.But Crookshanks sank his claws into Black's robes and wouldn'tshift. He turned his ugly, squashed face to Harry and looked up athim with those great yellow eyes.
To my right, Hermione gave a drysob.Harry and I stared down at Black and Crookshanks, my grip tightening on the wand. So what if I had to kill the cat too? It was inleague with Black. . . . If it was prepared to die, trying to protectBlack, that wasn't my business. . . . If Black wanted to save it,that only proved he cared more for Crookshanks than for our parents. . . .
I raised the wand. Now was the moment to do it. Now wasthe moment to avenge our mother and father.
I was going to killBlack. I had to kill Black. This was my chance. . . .
The seconds lengthened. And still Harry and I stood frozen there,wands poised, Black staring up at him, Crookshanks on his chest.Ron's ragged breathing came from near the bed; Hermione was quitesilent.And then came a new sound —Muffled footsteps were echoing up through the floor — someone was moving downstairs.
"WE'RE UP HERE!" Hermione screamed suddenly. "WE'REUP HERE — SIRIUS BLACK — QUICK!"
Black made a startled movement that almost dislodged Crookshanks; I gripped my wand convulsively — Do it now! said avoice in my head — but the footsteps were thundering up the stairsand I still hadn't done it.
The door of the room burst open in a shower of red sparks andHarry and I wheeled around as Professor Lupin came hurtling into theroom, his face bloodless, his wand raised and ready.
His eyes flickered over Ron, lying on the floor, over Hermione, cowering next tothe door, to Harry and me, standing there with our wands covering Black,and then to Black himself, crumpled and bleeding at our feet.
"Expelliarmus!" Lupin shouted. My wand flew once more out of my hand; And Harry's. so did the two Hermione was holding. Lupin caught them all deftly, then movedinto the room, staring at Black, who still had Crookshanks lyingprotectively across his chest. I stood there, feeling suddenly empty. I hadn't done it. My nerve had failed me.
Black was going to be handed back to thedementors.
Then Lupin spoke, in a very tense voice.
"Where is he, Sirius?"
I looked quickly at Lupin.I didn't understand whatLupin meant. Who was Lupin talking about? I turned to look atBlack again.Black's face was quite expressionless.
For a few seconds, he didn'tmove at all. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand andpointed straight at Ron. Mystified, I glanced around at Ron,who looked bewildered."But then . . . ," Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently itseemed he was trying to read his mind, ". . . why hasn't he shownhimself before now? Unless" —
Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, asthough he was seeing something beyond Black, something none ofthe rest could see, "— unless he was the one . . . unless youswitched . . . without telling me?"
Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin's face, Blacknodded.
"Professor," Harry interrupted loudly, "what's going on — ?"
But he never finished the question, because what he saw madehis voice die in his throat. Lupin was lowering his wand, gazingfixedly at Black.
The Professor walked to Black's side, seized hishand, pulled him to his feet so that Crookshanks fell to the floor,and embraced Black like a brother. I felt as though the bottom had dropped out of my stomach.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" I screamed.Lupin let go of Black and turned to me. Hermione had raised herselfoff the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed. "You —you —"
"Emma--Hermione —"
" — you and him!"
"Emma, calm down —"
"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been coveringup for you —"
"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain —"
I could feel myself shaking, not with fear, but with a freshwave of fury."I trusted you," Harry shouted at Lupin, his voice wavering out ofcontrol, "and all the time you've been his friend!"
"You're wrong," said Lupin. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but Iam now — Let me explain. . . ."
"NO!" I screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's beenhelping Black get into the castle, he wants us dead too — he's awerewolf !"
There was a ringing silence. Everyone's eyes were now on Lupin,who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale."Not at all up to your usual standard, Emma," he said."Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Siriusget into the castle and I certainly don't want You or Harry dead. . . ."
Anodd shiver passed over his face. "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf."Ron made a valiant effort to get up again but fell back with awhimper of pain. Lupin made toward him, looking concerned, butRon gasped, "Get away from me, werewolf !"
Lupin stopped dead. Then, with an obvious effort, he turned to me and said, "How long have you known?"
"Ages," I whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay. . . ."
"He'll be delighted," said Lupin coolly. "He assigned that essayhoping someone would realize what my symptoms meant. . . . Didyou check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the fullmoon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moonwhen it saw me?"
"Both," I said quietly.
Lupin forced a laugh.
"You're one the cleverest witches of your age I've ever met, Emma and Hermione."
"we're not," Hermione whispered. "If we'd been a bit cleverer, we'dhave told everyone what you are!"
"But they already know," said Lupin. "At least, the staff do."
"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf?"Ron gasped. "Is he mad?"
"Some of the staff thought so," said Lupin. "He had to workvery hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy —"
"AND HE WAS WRONG!" Harry yelled. "YOU'VE BEENHELPING HIM ALL THE TIME!" He was pointing at Black,who suddenly crossed to the four-poster bed and sank onto it, hisface hidden in one shaking hand.
Crookshanks leapt up beside himand stepped onto his lap, purring. Ron edged away from both ofthem, dragging his leg.
"I have not been helping Sirius," said Lupin. "If you'll give me achance, I'll explain. Look —"
He separated Mine, Harry's, Ron's and Hermione's wands and threweach back to its owner; I caught mine, stunned.
"There," said Lupin, sticking his own wand back into his belt."You're armed, we're not. Now will you listen?"
I didn't know what to think. Was it a trick?
"If you haven't been helping him," I said, with a furious glanceat Black, "how did you know he was here?"
"The map," said Lupin. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it —"
"You know how to work it?" Harry said suspiciously."Of course I know how to work it," said Lupin, waving his handimpatiently. "I helped write it. I'm Moony — that was my friends'nickname for me at school."
"You wrote — ?"
"The important thing is, I was watching it carefully this evening,because I had an idea that you both, Ron, and Hermione might try andsneak out of the castle to visit Hagrid before his hippogriff was executed. And I was right, wasn't I?"
He had started to pace up and down, looking at us. Littlepatches of dust rose at his feet."You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry —"
"How d'you know about the cloak?"
"The number of times I saw James disappearing underit. . . ," said Lupin, waving an impatient hand again. "The pointis, even if you're wearing an Invisibility Cloak, you still show up onthe Marauder's Map. I watched you cross the grounds and enterHagrid's hut. Twenty minutes later, you left Hagrid, and set offback toward the castle. But you were now accompanied by somebody else."
"What?" said Harry. "No, we weren't!"
"I couldn't believe my eyes," said Lupin, still pacing, and ignoring Harry's interruption. "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?"
"No one was with us!" said Hermione.
"And then I saw another dot, moving fast toward you, labeledSirius Black. . . . I saw him collide with you; I watched as he pulledtwo of you into the Whomping Willow —"
"One of us!" Ron said angrily.
"No, Ron," said Lupin. "Two of you."
He had stopped his pacing, his eyes moving over Ron."Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.
"What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"
"Everything," said Lupin. "Could I see him, please?"
Ron hesitated, then put a hand inside his robes. Scabbersemerged, thrashing desperately; Ron had to seize his long bald tailto stop him escaping.
Crookshanks stood up on Black's leg andmade a soft hissing noise.
Lupin moved closer to Ron. He seemed to be holding his breathas he gazed intently at Scabbers.
"What?" Ron said again, holding Scabbers close to him, lookingscared. "What's my rat got to do with anything?"
"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius Black suddenly.
"What d'you mean — of course he's a rat —"
"No, he's not," said Lupin quietly. "He's a wizard."
"An Animagus," said Black, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew."
It took a few seconds for the absurdity of this statement to sinkin. Then Ron voiced what I was thinking.
"You're both mental."
"Ridiculous!" said Hermione faintly.
"Peter Pettigrew's dead!" said Harry. "He killed him twelve yearsago!"
"Exactly" I said "it makes no sense."
He pointed at Black, whose face twitched convulsively."I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Petergot the better of me . . . not this time, though!"
And Crookshanks was thrown to the floor as Black lunged atScabbers; Ron yelled with pain as Black's weight fell on his brokenleg.
"Sirius, NO!" Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards anddragging Black away from Ron again, "WAIT! You can't do it justlike that — they need to understand — we've got to explain —"
"We can explain afterwards!" snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off. One hand was still clawing the air as it tried to reachScabbers, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron's face andneck as he tried to escape.
"They've — got — a — right — to — know — everything!"Lupin panted, still trying to restrain Black. "Ron's kept him as apet! There are parts of it even I don't understand! And Harry and Emma —you owe Harry and Emma the truth, Sirius!"
Black stopped struggling, though his hollowed eyes were still fixedon Scabbers, who was clamped tightly under Ron's bitten, scratched,and bleeding hands.
"All right, then," Black said, without taking his eyes off the rat."Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want tocommit the murder I was imprisoned for. . . ."
"You're nutters, both of you," said Ron shakily, looking round at Me, Harry and Hermione for support. "I've had enough of this. I'moff."He tried to heave himself up on his good leg, but Lupin raisedhis wand again, pointing it at Scabbers.
"You're going to hear me out, Ron," he said quietly. "Just keep atight hold on Peter while you listen."
"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled, trying toforce the rat back into his front pocket, but Scabbers was fightingtoo hard; Ron swayed and overbalanced, and Harry caught himand pushed him back down to the bed.
Then, ignoring Black,Harry turned to Lupin.
"There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die," he said. "A wholestreet full of them . . ."
"They didn't see what they thought they saw!" said Black savagely, still watching Scabbers struggling in Ron's hands.
"Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter," said Lupin, nodding. "Ibelieved it myself — until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's map never lies . . . Peter's alive. Ron's holding him, Harry." I looked down at Ron, and as our eyes met, we agreed,silently: Black and Lupin were both out of their minds.
Their storymade no sense whatsoever. How could Scabbers be Peter Pettigrew?Azkaban must have unhinged Black after all — but why was Lupinplaying along with him?
Then Hermione spoke, in a trembling, would-be calm sort ofvoice, as though trying to will Professor Lupin to talk sensibly."But Professor Lupin . . . Scabbers can't be Pettigrew . . . it justcan't be true, you know it can't . . ."
"Why can't it be true?" Lupin said calmly, as though they were inclass, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with grindylows.
"Because . . ." I struggled "because people would know if Peter Pettigrewhad been an Animagus. We did Animagi in class with ProfessorMcGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework —the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who canbecome animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things . . . and I went and lookedProfessor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been onlyseven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on thelist —"
Lupin started to laugh.
"Right again, Emma!" he said. "But the Ministry never knewthat there used to be three unregistered Animagi running aroundHogwarts."
"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus,"snarled Black, who was still watching Scabbers's every desperate move. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait muchlonger."
"All right . . . but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Lupin, "Ionly know how it began . . ."Lupin broke off.
There had been a loud creak behind him. Thebedroom door had opened of its own accord. All six of us stared at it. Then Lupin strode toward it and looked out into thelanding.
"No one there . . ."
"This place is haunted!" said Ron.
"It's not," said Lupin, still looking at the door in a puzzled way."The Shrieking Shack was never haunted. . . . The screams andhowls the villagers used to hear were made by me."
He pushed his graying hair out of his eyes, thought for a moment, then said, "That's where all of this starts — with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn't beenbitten . . . and if I hadn't been so foolhardy. . . ."
He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione said, "Shh!" She was watching Lupin very intently.
"I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parentstried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potionthat Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform. . . . Iam able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for themoon to wane again.
"Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossiblethat I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren'tlikely to want their children exposed to me.
"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, therewas no reason I shouldn't come to school. . . ." Lupin sighed, andlooked directly at Harry and me.
"I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth isthat it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. This house" —Lupin looked miserably around the room, — "the tunnel thatleads to it — they were built for my use. Once a month, I wassmuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The treewas placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across mewhile I was dangerous."
I couldn't see where this story was going, but I was listening raptly all the same. The only sound apart from Lupin's voicewas Scabbers's frightened squeaking.
"My transformations in those days were — were terrible. It isvery painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humansto bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heardthe noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor. . . . Evennow, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don'tdare approach it. . . .
"But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I hadever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, threegreat friends. Sirius Black . . . Peter Pettigrew . . . and, of course,your father, Harry and Emma— James Potter.
"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them mymother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her. . . . I wasterrified they would desert me the moment they found out whatI was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione and Emma, worked out thetruth. . . .
"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something forme that would make my transformations not only bearable, but thebest times of my life. They became Animagi."
"Our dad too?" said Harry, astounded.
"Yes, indeed," said Lupin. "It took them the best part of threeyears to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were thecleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because theAnimagus transformation can go horribly wrong — one reason theMinistry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peterneeded all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, inour fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."
"But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled.
"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept mecompany as animals," said Lupin. "A werewolf is only a danger topeople. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James'sInvisibility Cloak. They transformed . . . Peter, as the smallest,could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch theknot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body wasstill wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I waswith them."
"Hurry up, Remus," snarled Black, who was still watching Scabbers with a horrible sort of hunger on his face.
"I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there . . . well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform.Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the schoolgrounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed intosuch large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check.I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more aboutthe Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did. . . . And that'show we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with ournicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs."
"What sort of animal — ?" Harry began, but Hermione cut himoff.
"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the darkwith a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bittensomebody?"
A thought that still haunts me," said Lupin heavily.
"And therewere near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our owncleverness.""
I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, ofcourse . . . he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking therules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He neverknew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven'tchanged . . .
Lupin's face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice."All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whetherI should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn'tdo it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meantadmitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me . . . and Dumbledore's trusthas meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, andhe gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convincedmyself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts helearned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothingto do with it . . . so, in a way, Snape's been right about me allalong."
"Snape?" said Black harshly, taking his eyes off Scabbers for thefirst time in minutes and looking up at Lupin. "What's Snape gotto do with it?"
"He's here, Sirius," said Lupin heavily. "He's teaching here aswell."
He looked up at Me Harry, Ron, and Hermione."Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hardagainst my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job.He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to betrusted. He has his reasons . . . you see, Sirius here played a trickon him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —"
Black made a derisive noise.
"It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying tofind out what we were up to . . . hoping he could get us expelled. . . ."
"Severus was very interested in where I went every month."Lupin told Me, Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year,you know, and we — er — didn't like each other very much. Heespecially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on theQuidditch field . . . anyway Snape had seen me crossing thegrounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me towardthe Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be —er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot onthe tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me.Well, of course, Snape tried it — if he'd got as far as this house, he'dhave met a fully grown werewolf — but your father, who'd heardwhat Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, atgreat risk to his life . . . Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end ofthe tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, butfrom that time on he knew what I was. . . ."
"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," I said] slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"
"That's right," sneered a cold voice from the wall behind Lupin.
Severus Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wandpointing directly at Lupin.
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