15: Our deepest desire
My eyes snapped open. I was tired and sleepy, yet, I could not go back to sleep. I knew my brother was up to something. Yawning and tying my hair into a high ponytail, I creep downstairs.I don't see anything, yet I can hear a quiet shuffle of feet. I inch closer, quiet as a mouse my hand grasped fabric and I pulled.
The invisibiliy cloak fell to reveal my brother, guiltily looking at me. "Well?" I say crossing my arms around my chest "What have you got to say for yourself?". "Sorry?" tried my brother. I roll my eyes " what are you doing? Don't even think about lying" I add. He sighs. "I thought it'd be cool to explore the school" I blink. "That...is actually a good idea!" "Really?" he asked suspiciously. "Yup as long as I can come" he chortled "sure"
We crept out, covered by the invisibility cloak covering us. "Who's there?" squawked the Fat Lady. we said nothing..
"Where should we go?" He whispered, my heart racing, I pondered. And then it came to me.
"The Restricted Section in the library" I hiss." We'd be able to read as long as we liked, as long as it took to find out who Flamel is". We set off,Harry drawing the invisibility cloak tight around us as he walked.
The library was pitch-black and very eerie. Harry lit a lamp so we could see our way along the rows of books. The lamp looked as if it was floating along in midair, and even though Harry could feel his arm supporting it, the sight gave him the creeps.
The Restricted Section was right at the back of the library. Stepping carefully over the rope that separated these books from the rest of the library, harry held up his lamp so I could read the titles. They didn't tell us much. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. Maybe I was imagining it, maybe not, but I thought a faint whispering was coming from the books, as though they knew someone was there who shouldn't be.
We had to start somewhere. Setting the lamp down carefully on the floor, harry looked along the bottom shelf for an interesting looking book. drawing a large black and silver volume. He pulled it out with difficulty, because it was very heavy, and, balancing it on his knee, let it fall open."Harry I don't think-" I began in a whisper. But was interrupted
A piercing, bloodcurdling shriek split the silence -- the book was screaming! Harry snapped it shut, but the shriek went on and on, one high, unbroken, earsplitting note. He stumbled backward and knocked over his lamp, which went out at once. Panicking,I heard footsteps coming down the corridor outside -- stuffing the shrieking book back on the shelf, we ran for it. We passed Filch in the doorway; Filch's pale, wild eyes looked straight through us, and we slipped under Filch's outstretched arm and streaked off up the corridor, the book's shrieks still ringing in our ears.
We came to a sudden halt in front of a tall suit of armor. We had been so busy getting away from the library, we hadn't paid attention to where we were going.
There was a suit of armor near the kitchens, I knew, but we must be five floors above there.
"You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebody's been in the library Restricted Section."
Filch must know a shortcut, because his soft, greasy voice was getting nearer, and to my horror, it was Snape who replied, "The Restricted Section? Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them."
Harry and I stood rooted to the spot as Filch and Snape came around the corner ahead. They couldn't see us, of course, but it was a narrow corridor and if they came much nearer they'd knock right into us .
We backed away as quietly as we could. A door stood ajar to our left. We squeezed through it, holding my breath, trying not to move it, and to my relief we managed to get inside the room without their noticing anything. They walked straight past, and Harry leaned against the wall, breathing deeply, listening to their footsteps dying away. That had been close, very close. It was a few seconds before we noticed anything about the room we had hidden in.
It looked like an unused classroom. The dark shapes of desks and chairs were piled against the walls, and there was an upturned wastepaper basket -- but propped against the wall facing him was something that didn't look as if it belonged there, something that looked as if someone had just put it there to keep it out of the way.
It was a magnificent mirror, as high as the ceiling, with an ornate gold frame, standing on two clawed feet. There was an inscription carved around the top: Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. Our panic fading now that there was no sound of Filch and Snape, Harry moved nearer to the mirror, wanting to look at himself . He stepped in front of it.
He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from screaming. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when the book had screamed. "What?" I whisper. He gestured for me to step in front of the mirror. I shrugged. What I saw shooked me to the core, I started shaking, harry put an arm around my shoulders
A woman standing right behind his reflection was smiling at us and waving. Harry reached out a hand and felt the air behind him, but he felt only air - she and the others existed only in the mirror.
She was a very pretty woman. She had dark red hair and her eyes -- she looks just like me I thought, edging a little closer to the glass. Bright green eyes -- exactly the same shapeas Harry's, but then I noticed that she was crying; smiling, but crying at the same time. The tall, thin, black-haired man standing next to her put his arm around her. He wore glasses, and his hair was very untidy. It stuck up at the back, just as Harry's did. His eyes matched my own.
"Mom?" harry whispered. "Dad?" I croak
They just looked at us, smiling. And slowly, Harry and I looked into the faces of the other people in the mirror, and saw other pairs of green eyes like harry, other noses like ours, hair like mine-- Harry and I were looking at our family, for the first time in our life.
The Potters smiled and waved at us and we stared back at them, our hands pressed flat against the glass as though we were hoping to fall right through it and reach them. We had a powerful kind of ache inside him, half joy, half terrible sadness.
How long we stood there, I didn't know, nor did I care. The reflections did not fade and we looked and looked until a distant noise brought me back to my senses. We couldn't stay here, we had to find his way back to bed, harry hadn't noticed "Harry" I whisper"we should go". He tore his eyes away from his mother's face, whispered, "I'll come back," and hurried from the room.
We told Ron all about the mirror. "You could've woken me" he said reproachfully "You can come tonight, we're going back, I want to show you the mirror." harry said
"I'd like to see your mom and dad," Ron said eagerly.
"And I want to see all your family, all the Weasleys, you'll be able to show me your other brothers and everyone."
"You can see them any old time," said Ron. "Just come round my house this summer. Anyway, maybe it only shows dead people. Shame about not finding Flamel, though. Have some bacon or something, why aren't you both eating anything?"
"I can't" I say weakly "I can't eat and I can't go back there".
"What?" asked harry angrily "don't you want to see them again.
"If I do" I whisper "I'll start thinking what would have happened if voldermor- sorry you-know-who-- would not have killed them. And then I see a flash of green light. and I get dizzy"
"Do you need the hospital wing?" asked Ron kindly, I manage a weak smile
"Yeah...I think I do" I got up.
But I bumped into a tall someone.
"Oh my god--- I am so so sorry! I seriously didn't mean it and I-- Professor!"
I was staring into the bright blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.
"I-I a-am s-sorry" I stammer.
he chuckles "It's quite alright"
He peers at me with a concerned look "Are you alright? You look quite pale.'
"I feel a little dizzy" I admit.
"How come?" he asks shrewedly
"I-I do not know" I mumble, not meeting his eyes, if he knows I'm lying, he doesn't show it.
"Ah well-- Mr Weasly! Mr. Weasly!" can you please assist miss potter to the hospital wing? She is feeling rather faint" The weasly twins ran up with concerned expressions.
"You, Ok Ems?"
"Fine" I mumble "I just-" Then I stumble
"Yeah.....so you need help" said george supporting my arm, fred got the other. And we hobbled to the hospital wing. Madame promferey took one look at me and pushed me onto a bed.
"What happened" fred asks me, eyes glazing with concern
"I-I really don't-" then I can't talk because madame promferey shoved a spoon full of medicine in my mouth. "ACK!" I shudder "I felt better before that medicine was put into my mouth! oh my god.....it was horrible! I can't even-"
"Oh hush" said madame promefery "the taste will be gone in a minute."
I whimper, she rolls her eye.
"So, Ems" fred hesitates "You OK?"
"yeah, yeah" I mumble "Thanks for helping me guys but you can go if you want."
"Why were you dizzy"
"I dunno I just...was, I guess"
"Are you sure it wasn't a boy?"
"A what?"
"A boy, Ems"
"NO! no no no no no no no no no no"
"Hmmmm..you absolutely sure?"
"GEORGE WEASLY! I'M 11!"
"So?"
"S-so I won't have crush till I'm at least 13"
"Ok, ok. Do you want us to say?"
"You can leave if you want to."
"Bye Ems"
"Bye"
Madame promferey released me after dinner, I crept back to gryffindor tower, but couldn't bring myself to go back into the domitory. So, I sat by the fire, waiting for my brother and Ron to show up. A little past midnight I heard pants. I look up. Sure enough, Ron and my brother are standing there, panting.
"Hey" I call making them jump "How was your midnight stroll?"
"I-I" pants Harry "I have to tell you something."
I raise my eyebrows
"And I need to go to bed" says Ron "Bye!"
I wait for my brother to catch his breath. "Ron, didn't see....his....family" he said between pants
"What?" I asked incredulously "Not even the dead ones?" Harry shook his head. "T-then what did he see?".
"Himself as head boy, and quidditch captain."
"What?"
"Yeah...."
"Tomorrow night." I hiss "I'm coming with you. I need to figure out what that mirror is"
****
That third night we found our way more quickly than before. We were walking so fast we knew we were making more noise than was wise, but we didn't meet anyone.
And there were our mother and father smiling at us again, and one of our grandfathers nodding happily. Harry sank down to sit on the floor in front of the mirror. "What are you" I asked the mirror, my eyes tracing the words written. "Sit down" said Harry patting the space beside him, "Nothings stopping us from spending the night."
Except --
"So -- back again?"
I felt as though my insides had turned to ice.I jerked my neck. Sitting on one of the desks by the wall was none other than Albus Dumbledore. Harry and I must have walked straight past him, so desperate to get to the mirror we hadn't noticed him.
"W -- we didn't see you, sir." Harry stammered
"Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you," said Dumbledore, smiling.
"So," said Dumbledore, slipping off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry and me, "you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."
"I didn't know it was called that, Sir." I say
"But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"
"It -- well -- it shows us our family--" I began
"And it showed your friend Ron himself as head boy."
"How did you know -- ?"
"I don't need a cloak to become invisible," said Dumbledore gently. "Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?"
Harry shook his head. So did I
"Let me explain. The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is. Does that help?"
Harry thought. Then he said slowly, "It shows us what we want... whatever we want..."
I take another guess "What we really want to see?"
"Yes," said Dumbledore quietly. "It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts. You two , who have never known your family, see them standing around you. Ronald Weasley, who has always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.
"The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, and I ask you both not to go looking for it again. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared. It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed?"
Harry stood up.
"Sir -- Professor Dumbledore? Can I ask you something?" I began awkwardly
"Obviously, you've just done so," Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."
"What do you see when you look in the mirror?"
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks."
Harry stared.
"One can never have enough socks," said Dumbledore. "Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
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