(Emily, I'm Sorry)
ACT ONE — CHAPTER SIX

1996

Emily never spoke of what happened to her, not to anyone that had believed her anyway. She didn't want or need anyone to look at her differently.

Right now though, the three pills she had taken through out the night seemed to have eerily cleared her mind.

...or maybe the pills made it foggy, either way she had finally told someone.

And quite honestly, Emily wished she had just kept her mouth shut. Natalie seemed to have weirdly sobered up from her words.

"Em—it's okay." Natalie whispered softly, gently holding the girl who hadn't stopped crying since she finally admitted what happened.

Since she finally admitted what he did.

The thing was Emily needed to tell someone, that would believe her. She felt like she was going crazy.

The one person Emily had told, previous to Natalie, had acted like it had been the consequences of her own actions— and that hurt.

The girl with the bleached hair however, comforted her, reassured Emily that it wasn't her fault.

Emily trusted her more than anyone in the world after that night.

The next morning however— she regretted saying a word to anyone.

Emily sat on her bed, staring down at the items it held.

One suitcase zipped up with as much as she could fit into it, one envelope she was terrified to tear into— and one small plastic baggie with two remaining pills.

Emily bite down on her lip, Natalie knew. She had told Natalie what happened.

Now Natalie could see right through her.

Emily was nervous to see Natalie later that day, she was nervous to get on that plane.

The girl's head pounded— maybe the combination of cheap beer and the unknown medication wasn't Emily's brightest idea.

In the moment it felt good— Emily knew she certainly shouldn't take anymore. However, it was going to be a long flight.

She decided just to take the edge off, Emily broke one of the pills in half.

Next she reached for the sealed letter, popping the half pill in her mouth, "Here goes nothing," she whispered.

One of two things could be waiting inside— an acceptance letter or a rejection letter. The latter option being far more likely.

Emily didn't even tell anyone that she applied to John Hopkins, knowing it was for the better.

"Here's to dreams being granted or demolished." She muttered ripping the seal on the letter.

Academics had been one of her strong suites most of her life— she was always the 'nerd' of the family. Emily loved all things science and math, and her grades held up well. In fact, she was on track to be Valedictorian.

Emily scanned the letter, and her breath hitched, she had been accepted. She stared at the letter for a second more.

Accepted.

"Jesus—" Emily muttered, stuffing the baggie of pills into her suitcase.

This had been her dream for so long.

So why did it feel so difficult?

"Hey Em," Ash started, as she busted through the door, "Have you seen my— What's that?"

Emily followed her sister's eyesight directly to the letter, "I thought you had already received letters from all of the schools you applied to."

Emily didn't even move to stop her, as she reached for the letter.

"Hopkins! Why didn't you tell me you applied?" Ash asked softly, reading over the letter. Emily knew that the girl's calmness wouldn't last long.

Emily sighed, "because I knew you would get upset."

"Em—that's like really far from here." Ash pointed out as though Emily didn't know geography.

"It's my dream school, Ash. You knew that." Emily quietly spoke, she didn't want to start their trip to Nationals out this way.

"You can't go," the brunette shook her head, "How are you even going to pay for it?"

"I don't know, Ash." Emily sighed, this is why she hadn't brought it up, because now Ash was upset with her.

"What does Dad think about all of this?" Ash crossed her arms.

"He doesn't know."

Emily wasn't planning on telling any of them about this.

"Not that it would matter anyway. He hates me." Emily pointed out, like it was some known fact.

"What are you talking about?"

Emily scoffed— annoyed at Ash. Not that she should have been, she hadn't told Ash what happened just a couple days ago.

"I'm— I'm fucking gay, Ash."

Emily's eyes grew wide— she hadn't even realized what she was doing until it was done.

"Fuck," Emily  muttered, "he caught me kissing another girl."

The blonde didn't know why she told Ash, she just couldn't keep it down anymore. Emily avoided her sister's eyes, picking at her skin.

She was afraid.

"Emily-"

"No it's okay...I'll um se you down stairs." Emily shook her head standing up from her bed to finish up packing.

Ash wordlessly spun on her heels, gently closing the bedroom door behind her.

"Fuck. Why would you tell her that? Stupid, stupid, stupid." Emily muttered to herself.

By the time they were boarding the plane, it was clear that Ash wasn't speaking to Emily. She figured her sister would need time to process everything.

"Hey, you okay?"

Emily turned to find Natalie looking at her with a soft smile, "Uh—yeah, I think so."

"How's the headache?"

Emily frowned, it had pretty much dissipated after she took the half pill—but it wasn't like she could tell Natalie that.

"Hurts, but that was expected. I guess that's what happens when you make reckless decisions." She shrugged. Ash pushed by the two of them, without saying a word.

"What's going on with her?" Natalie thumbed in Ash's direction.

Emily sighed, "She's not talking to me."

Natalie's eyebrows rose in question, glancing between the Jensen sisters. "We got an argument this morning. She'll get over it."

She hoped.

"Well she better, we have to work as a team if we're gonna win this thing." Taissa interrupted.

Emily hummed in agreement, she wasn't keen on losing such a big game and it being her fault.

The whole team boarded the plane, most of them with big beaming smiles on their faces. Not Emily, any smile from her was pretty much forced.

"Wicked." Natalie half-whispered looking around the plane, a small smile tugged at Emily's lips as she witnessed the other girl's joy.

Involuntary smile?

That couldn't be good.

"I can't believe your dad paid for a private plane!" Van exclaimed, speaking to Lottie.

Emily had to agree, it was kind of wild.

"It's pretty much his only form of parenting." Lottie pointed out, "I guess I'll take it."

"Well," Van looked around the plane, "Thank you Mr. Matthews." Van and the other girls spoke sarcastically.

Emily didn't dare take the seat next to her sister, instead she settled in the spot next to Natalie. There was a light chatter all around them, everyone was excited.

This was a huge deal.

Emily tuned out the intercoms nervously clinging to her seat despite the fact the aircraft had yet to take off.

"Are you alright?" Natalie arched an eyebrow at the girl. Emily shot her a glare, still not loosening her grip on the chair.

"I'm fine."

"Sure you are, Jensen. Sure you are." Natalie spoke, her words dripping with sarcasm.

Soon they all found out that Emily was very right to be afraid.

Screams pierced the air, as the oxygen masks were ejected from above their heads. The lights flickered, on and off.

Emily could hear Laura Lee desperately praying from just a row or two back.

The teenager herself had even fallen back in to old habits thinking silent prayers.

The plane was going down and they all knew it.

Emily clung to Natalie's hand like there was no tomorrow because in that moment, she never thought there would be one.