I couldn't stop thinking about Carter and the time that we spent earlier today. The sound of his voice, the way he dressed, his beautiful smile and the smell of his scent, Ugh.... everything about him drew me in, but I was still afraid to let him in.

Not that he wouldn't understand the passing of my mom, I was too afraid that he wouldn't understand the aftermath, the toll that it took on me, and the type of person it has made me become.

I was totally against him knowing the type of life I was living; I was too ashamed. These were the thoughts flowing through my mind, as I grabbed my pillow and blanket to lie down on the couch. "My life..." I sighed out loud.