I rode in Ryder's car, dying to reach out and grab his hand resting on the gear shift. As much as being with him soothed my soul, my mind wasn't in the same plane of tranquility. Especially when I was so close to touching him yet couldn't find the urge to seal the gap. I just kept thinking about lashing out on Meena and then Tank. I didn't know how Ryder could do whatever he wanted without overthinking the repercussions of the actions. I felt like Meena would go back to her family and say I assaulted her. I felt like Tank would wake up in a hangover and a vengeance towards me mimicking that of Preston's wrath.

Suddenly, I was seeing a memory of one of the first days of school—the day of Marc's funeral—when Ryder and I had just walked away from Trevor and signed out of school. In Ryder's perspective, I had clearly been failing at containing my laughter until he asked me "What?" and I lied by saying "Nothing" before full-on snickering and mentioning how cute he was when he was jealous. Back then I was alluding to his demeanor after assuming Trevor was checking me out and it was before I knew what Trevor's real goals at separating us stemmed from. Next, Ryder's mind played for me the moment when he had almost knocked on Cassandra's door the moment I was exiting with Oliver. I could obviously see myself freeze as the boys exchanged greetings and I awkwardly stood there before rushing an exit without explanation. Now, from Ryder's view, he carefully watched me climb into my mustang with an unknown stranger (to him, anyways) and drive off before Andrew invited him inside the house. Back then I hadn't noticed that Oliver winced into a confused frown when looking between me, who was fidgeting with the keys in the ignition, and Ryder who was left on the porch. The memory ended and I watched a new scene play out briefly before Ryder shut it down—it was after Stella kissed him, right when I lunged at her before I phased into a wolf for the first time. Ryder didn't let it all play out like he had once before to show me my purple irises. I wondered if he shut it down to avoid feeling the pain that someone else's affection caused him...or if he was trying to spare me an explicit reality check. But this was Ryder we were talking about.

I looked over at him and now he was the one poorly hiding his smirk.

"Are you trying to make a point about how I shouldn't be jealous just like I told that of you?" I asked, even though me reacting to Meena tonight for merely touching him was loads better than literally exploding into a wolf at Stella for kissing him.

"Not at all. I'm mostly remembering when I was jealous over you so I can understand where you were coming from tonight," Ryder finally laughed and smiled a pure smile. When he stopped at a stoplight, he looked over at me and grabbed my hand. "It's cute when it's me, but it's hot when it's you," he smiled his perfect smile and then brought my hand up to his lips to kiss before I playfully rolled my eyes and chuckled once because somehow, even when I was stressed out about everything, he was making me feel a bit better. I looked out of the window as he continued to drive at the green light.

"So about tonight..." he began moments later while I thought through a rabbit hole that was telepathically closed off from him.

"Wait. Can I apologize for a second?" I interjected. "I didn't think about how attacking Meena would affect any treaty or anything you already arranged with the Leonards or with Andrew. And I shouldn't have caused another rift between Colin and Tank—"

He surprisingly started to chuckle for a second. His hand slid onto my thigh. "Ashlynn," he named while driving with an amused dimple appearing in his cheek. "Considering all the flirting Meena did with multiple people throughout the night without you saying anything, I doubt she'll be running to Andrew or her family about you calling her out for involving me of all people—especially on the night I'm invoking Imprint's Law on someone. You're fine. And as for Colin and Tank...Tank talks a good game, but he rolls over easy and he always has, so you won't have to worry about him. Between you and me, I think him and Colin are always going to have a rift for the foreseeable future because they're both stubborn assholes with their own drama, but that's obviously not your fault. So as much as I want to accept your apology, you have nothing to really apologize for tonight, babe. You're okay." He said it so breezy and patted my leg once comfortingly before returning to grab my hand.

Well then...thanks, was all I could feel because I was otherwise lost in the candor in his response as opposed to a simple "It's fine." I was relieved at the vindication but also noticed the presence of absolute lightness around this moment. It was unlike the times with the consequences from my previous bouts of jealousy over him (i.e. hurting Stella) and any dissent with his pack members (i.e. numerous times with Preston or Colin or Zander). Considering the seriousness surrounding the last few times we've had real conversations about wars or pseudo-breakups or punishments and what that meant, I thought this moment would be an act or some suppression of resentment, but I could only feel a genuine aura around him.

I remembered what Brett, Miles and Dakota had cumulatively told me today. Particularly, the advice Miles gave that was paraphrased from Ryder in conjunction to what he told me days ago about how his mind works. This was an example of that. We were on the way to punish someone for hurting me—a punishment issued because it was a compromise from my influence—yet we had just left a party where not only did I aggress towards someone due to my jealousy, but I had also participated in yet another altercation with one of his pack members. Anyone else would've focused on those glaring areas of negativity, but here he was commenting on my behavior that other people probably wouldn't tolerate let alone appreciate. More than that, he knew (or hoped) I would know not to take it so harshly nor dismissive because it wasn't really about him or even me, which is why it was in such a teasing manner. He was proving that I shouldn't have a thought about being embarrassed about anything (especially in front of him) because it's not like he was or ever had. Though I overthought it all, it wasn't anything to him because it didn't change us at all. It was a prime example that I, and our bond, was a priority to him even when it was easy to look at everything else going on. In actuality, he had played along to this balancing act in varying forms the entire time I had known him whether it was a reassurance, a look, a touch or a full moment.

Maybe they were right all along. Just embrace it instead of being scared of it. That's what Ryder was doing with everything. And this whole time, for me, the "it" was really just "Ryder."

"Anyways, like I was saying about tonight..." I wondered if I was finally going to tell me about what exactly the Scorned Stone was, but I had a feeling he'd save it for the actual ceremony because even though the punishment term had been thrown around by the werewolves in town, I doubted anyone actually knew what it was but him, the Donahues, and maybe Andrew. "I realized that I've had a pattern of seemingly blowing off any kind of disagreement or problem we get into because I see it as temporary to the grand scheme of things in terms of our relationship because it always seems like our surroundings are more problematic than us. But that's not necessarily true because all of those problems influence us and they can't just be swept under the rug all the time. From what you said, and surprisingly what I talked to my mom about, yeah, it can come off as dismissive in your perspective and that's not fair to either of us. You for not understanding where I'm coming from or having any sense of real stability; and me for basically steam-rolling through things that actually matter to you while ironically preaching how you're my priority. And even though I stand by what I said about not willingly wanting to share every little thought process with you, that doesn't mean I can't be more transparent with you with what I do or plan to do. Because even if my intentions are pure, they don't seem that way when you don't know what's going on with me or whatever else is going on. So for tonight, I actually want to apologize to you and just ask for a clean slate from here on out."

Immediately, hearing that and combining it with what I learned from Miles and Brett and Dakota, I reached over to kiss his cheek. Anytime he apologized it was a big deal because it was well known that Ryder Ramon rarely apologized to anyone (aside from me being the exception and a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence towards Andrew and Stella respectively). But right now, I knew he meant it. Not only had he implored Merida for advice, but he hit exactly what I was struggling with in terms of being with him. If either of us had the intentions to make this imprint successful in the image we saw for it, we had to build a life together that required that transparency down to how his True Alpha self even operated. And even though I forgave him for something that, quite frankly, weighed on me more the last four months than the few weeks of thinking he was a murderer, I sat back into my seat and realized that what he said was something I also had to apply for myself instead of being reactive to everything going on in Tyriette.

***

On the rest of the journey to 4253 Obsidian Pass, Ryder briefly explained his understanding about the origins of the Scorned Stone and how it had changed over time. Traditionally, the Scorned Stone was a monolith that was possessed with harsh spirits. Used as punishment for werewolves' transgressions along with tailoring from witches, the guilty party was chained to the rock and subjected to its negativity. If the werewolf engaged in something like uncontrollable behavior that resulted in undue harm, especially to imprinted mates or humans, the stone would invoke the Wolf Spirit that's been suppressed over time (due to blood dilution or sheer werewolf control); however, the invocation of this presumable-demon would seemingly tear apart a werewolf who was unable to actually shift while chained up. After experiencing all the damages the dark spirit could do, the guilty werewolf would be better motivated to control him or herself. Eventually, when a werewolf was subjected to the Scorned Stone on a full moon, which resulted in his death, the Lycan Council broke the monolith apart. In pieces, punishment could still be doled out in smaller dosages. Ryder even told me that with transgressions involving massively shameful acts, the pieces could be passed amongst any involved victims in order to seal any pain and sorrow from whatever the wolf did. Then, the guilty wolf would be shackled with that shame for a sanctioned amount of time to truly experience the grief and derision he'd caused himself, his pack, and anyone else involved. This method led to the current ritual of tonight.

A piece of the Scorned Stone was melted and evolved into a pair of handcuffs by which witches and warlocks could conjure the perfect punishments for a werewolf's poor and/or destructive behavior. The modern enchantment made the punishment fit not only the crime, but also the offender. While it could quite possibly tear a deserving-someone apart in a physical sense, it could also just cause powerful hallucinations depending on their behavior—reformed and not—as a means of psychological trauma that would provide more motivation than any physical onslaught could for others. The magic was so great that the Everton house on Obsidian Pass was the venue because it was the only Lycan setting in town that could handle the potential for violence. It was all a gamble at a glance, but Ryder chose it for a reason.

"As soon as you forgave Evan, I knew there'd be no way I could execute him, much to Brett and maybe Zander's disappointment. I was mad, but deep down I knew Evan didn't hurt you on purpose. And I know I'm supposed to have the ability to kill, but just because I can doesn't mean I should," he told me when we were almost at the old Everton house. We were so close that we had already passed the city limits sign and I was feeling my senses awaken at the proximity. "But I still had to make it a point to hold him accountable in the most just way, as you put it. The Stone is literally as justified of a thing I could've sentenced him to even if most people think it's harsh because of its ambiguity and history. If anything, the only unfair thing I did was leverage it for Andrew's agreeance for the Tyriette pact considering even if Andrew said no, I still wouldn't have killed Evan."

I remembered Ryder telling me: "I'm doing everything only for my pack and for us. That means trying to get the Obsidian pack back together and getting rid of anything standing in the way of that." Striking a seemingly impromptu deal to make that closer to happening was an example of that. And at the core of his Obsidian pack plans was his priority of making sure Andrew—and the Everton pack for that matter—wouldn't be alone, unmatched, or without the protection of the Tyriette pack in the future. It wasn't an exploitation of power as much as a negotiation.

"You were just trying to unify the packs without you or Andrew going to war with each other or forfeiting your titles," I muttered in understanding. He simply nodded and I saw a twitch of his lips, indicating that he was glad I was finally catching on to his ongoing plots. But that wasn't all.

"And then when it comes to your mom killing Preston, that's when it thankfully and finally clicked to Andrew that, similar to Evan, I wasn't going to kill her either but I also wasn't going to let people think it wouldn't go unpunished, so he leveraged his relationship with Meena and the Leonards for mercy on your mom by banishment—plus, she could then go check on Oliver because nobody else seems to be able to," he clarified and things actually fell in place in my brain. I even remembered Andrew telling Natalie not to be sorry, but to be better just like Ryder had told Evan before he went to talk to her and strike a deal with Ryder. Everything made sense to me. Ryder's mind and all his moves operated like an Alpha game of chess. I was absolutely impressed and flabbergasted. Jumbled stress was cleared from my brain and I could tell that the joy of clarity and comprehension had flowed into Ryder easily enough to make him lightly squeeze my hand and contain another grin. We were finally on the same page about most of the problems plaguing my mind. "So now we just have to figure out getting it in writing along with the Tribal treaty, of course—which will be difficult because October is coming up and I always have a bad feeling about monsters meeting up in October, but it'll get done regardless and everything should be fine for now at least." I wanted to laugh about Ryder's passively joked about October reservations that were on the same level of his previous reasoning from refraining from sex. They were rooted in some truth. And with most things, I wondered what it was but finally felt hopeful that he'd eventually tell me.