Even though I was plagued all of Thursday with constant thoughts running through my head, I was thankful for my mom to be in town. Her presence was the only thing to keep Ryder from pestering me about how I was doing because he thought my aloofness was because of her—not because I had a boyfriend who was either lying about killing someone or was way more violent than I ever thought he was. But there was a level of danger in both scenarios.

"Hey, hey, hey settle down," Ryder said above all the ruckus that was caused at the four tables we had pushed together inside of the pizza joint in town. The eight of us werewolves—and Maya—were out to eat and celebrate one of the last "family dinners" with the pack before Dakota left. Six large pizzas were placed between the tables and everyone looked down the row at Ryder after Vince arrived late and took his saved seat at the other end of the tables (while receiving a "Of course you're on time for food," comment from Troy). Ryder waited for the pizza boy to finish serving us our pies before he stood up and looked over at Dakota, who sat next to Colin who was to Ryder's left. "We hate to see you go, but you're family so we know you'll be back. I was going to bless this food, but Vince got here late so he can say grace instead."

"Technically he was on time," Troy defended and then heard everyone's impatient responses before looking over to an uncaring Vince. "But you were the last one here."

"I thought the rule was that the first person to take a bite said grace," Brett expressed.

"Someone just say grace so we can eat," Colin groaned and I laughed as I looked around the table at the humor that drenched this pack along with the love that they otherwise denied having in public. I even found myself smiling when Vince and Kelvan (the latter who did eat the first piece of cheese bread) argued about who would bless the food. I looked to my left to see how Ryder presided over it, but he had only taken his seat and looked over at me with the same amused grin before Dakota had offered to say grace and thank his pack for being his brothers he never thought he wanted because he only had older sisters. He even added a comment that it didn't matter how they were brought into the "brotherhood"—a term I heard them use mostly when they were in public the few times all of them were seen together as if to turn a blind eye to the implications of the word "pack"—but they would always remain a family and it included the ones we loved. At that point, he had looked to me and Maya, who sat on either sides of Brett. But his sad blue eyes lingered on me before he glanced down and allowed for everyone to dig in.

The pizza diner was basically taken over by our rowdy group that stayed to talk (as if we didn't all go to the same school) after the pizza was done...and then proceeded to buy another round of pizzas. Soon enough, the youngest members had left—Miles to go see Rose and Brett to take Maya home. Then, Kel had convinced Dakota to leave with him so they could say their goodbyes with a gift Kel had for him. That only left me with Ryder, Colin, Troy, and Vince—the eldest in the pack. After failing to convince Ryder to steal a couple bottles of alcohol from behind the parlor's bar, Vince and Troy had stood to leave and do it themselves, but not without running into their friend Carlos, who had notoriously been called Rod since his run-in with Ryder and Stella in middle school that left his hair standing on end.

He greeted us and detoured from his route to his shift at work. He took the chair that Dakota had been sitting in and spun to sit in it backwards as the guys greeted him back. He engaged in conversation with mostly Colin and Vince, who partook in his pothead shenanigans, but left when his manager called him to clock in thirty minutes late on schedule. Vince and Troy left together after convincing Rod to get them at least two bottles of beer from the store room and then there were three of us.

"I better get going, huh," Colin figured within a tired sigh. Even though he talked all night with each member of the pack and sat besides Dakota as anyone would, I still felt that he was hurt by his dad making him move. But I wouldn't get to talk about it with him because I didn't want him to think Dakota or Ryder infringed on his right to privacy. "Children..." he warned, now standing and sliding on his leather jacket. He looked down at both of us, "remember there's school tomorrow."

"Thanks Mom," Ryder replied and began to stand up.

"Uh huh," Colin teased as if knowing Ryder and I would be up to something. Or maybe it was the usual Colin exploiting our relationship for comedic juice. Now that we all stood and had the intentions to leave, they shared a look making me question what they were thinking to each other, but once we were outside, Colin had hugged me before hopping in his truck and leaving. I watched him back out and drive down the road, but when I looked back, Ryder was standing with his hand out.

"Come on; I'll walk you home," Ryder nodded to the side as if he was blessing me with his chivalry. We had walked here from my house on purpose for this stroll. But still, I playfully rolled my eyes and put my hand in his.

***

"I definitely remember you begging me over the phone for a cheesy date," Ryder teased as we walked to my house and swung our clasped hands like children. Oh God I remember that embarrassing voicemail I left him.

"And you took me to the cheesecake factory," I reminded. "Twice."

"It seemed cheesy enough," he defended within a light laugh.

"Maybe," I looked over at him.

"Maybe," he repeated as we were both captured in a smile. Somehow his presence and radiance and attractiveness still made me nervous. I guess it wasn't about the whole sex thing like I once claimed on our date that seemed forever ago but could be dated back six weeks. Maybe it was just him. I looked away from him and continued walking.

"I liked tonight," I told him and knew my house was in sight. I looked up to see Ryder studying my face. "Really. I did. I know Andrew has Aaron and they just hang out all the time—when he isn't secluding himself, but I think it's cool that you can get all the guys together and hang out. Even if it's to say goodbye to someone."

I was wrong at the start of the school year when I thought they would be cliqued up from each other, but I had distinct memories of them playing football together (like when they met me) or sitting around the camp fire at Senior Camp or hanging in the bleachers. I was sure they had loads of other memories together and it was so touching because sometimes I thought being a "pack" was just several people taking orders from one person against their will, but now I understood.

"Yeah, we don't have the most sentimental group of guys, but we are a family nonetheless. It's harder to get everyone together during the school year sometimes, but I think we're somehow closer after all that's happened," he replied as his hand slid out of mine when we made it to my house and noticed that Andrew and Cassandra's cars were in the driveway. He still walked me to the door before he took my hands in his. "If you liked tonight, you'd love what we do at the end of the year for graduation."

"I can't wait," I laughed and saw his face light up with mine. I felt my heart swelling and I just wanted to kiss him for the rest of the night—regardless of it being late on a school night. But I knew there was no way he'd get through that door if it was up to Andrew and Cassandra. Suddenly, Ryder's hands slipped around my waist and he leaned towards me slowly.

"I need to tell you something," he whispered when he was inches from my lips.

"I need to tell you something too," I returned immediately, but didn't know if I said it because I needed to tell him how much I wanted to kiss the shit out of him right now...or that I knew he lied about the details of Preston's death. But as soon as I said it, he leaned away from me and connected his eyes with mine.

"I'll meet you in your room," he thought to me while taking another step back. I gave him a nervously weak smile back and he nodded his head over for me to unlock the door and get safely inside. Once I was in and shut the door, I felt my heart wanting to leap out of my chest and my wolf howling within me.

"Kinda pushing it, don't you think?" Drew asked while he walked from the kitchen to his room with a bowl of cereal.

"He's right," Cassandra voice from the living room as she stood from the couch and turned off the TV. She looked over at me while organizing her pillows. "It's a school night."

"It's like ten thirty," I laughed because usually I didn't even go to bed until midnight. Not to mention, I was a werewolf and had protection in this seemingly-crime free town from its latest killer. "I was just at Dakota's going away party," I assured her so she wouldn't think I was just in some secluded place with Ryder, even though it didn't matter what he did because it's not like I'd ever be in danger from him.

Cassandra hummed a response that I didn't know how to read so I just wished her a goodnight while she turned off all the lights downstairs and then I rushed upstairs, where my heart began to beat rapidly again. I took a deep breath before stepping through the threshold and I was glad I did because Ryder captured my waist and pressed me against the adjacent wall while closing my door. He was inches from me again.

"So what did you need to talk about?" I asked him with a cracked voice. I think I did it because I secretly liked feeling anxious and ready to embrace him; I just wanted the feeling to last before he would kiss me and release any apprehension I had in my body.

He smirked because I had temporarily halted him from his physical intentions, but he didn't back away from me.

"I want to thank you," he let out a breathy laugh and even from this distance, his face was beautiful. But now he stepped back. His eyes quivered back and forth between mine. "I know all of this has been hard on you. When we met things happened so fast and then it's like tragedy after tragedy struck, and not only are you here for me, but you're actually here for me."

What he said was kind, but I had no reason but to think he was lamenting his gratification for the fact that I was "okay" with him being a killer. Not too many people would be understanding and most would just be going through the motions about it because they'd be scared to leave him. But for me, nothing had changed. I accepted his confession because I didn't want to dispute whether or not he did it anymore, but other than that, he was the same Ryder who I continued to love and try to pick up the pieces for.

"My feelings have changed for you though," he announced and made me pause immediately even though he reclaimed that one step. "At the end of July, I told you I was in love with you and I thought that it was going to be the peak of my feelings for you because it was new and fresh and pure, but I was wrong. It's September now and every day I still feel closer to you and more love for you because you've done nothing but support me and want the best for me—despite who I am—and...and love me. Even for what I did to Preston...I just don't know how many ways I can tell you that I am eternally grateful for you. Not for Fate, not for this bond. For you."

Immediately, I sealed the distance between us to reach up and press my lips against his. Emotions and muscle contractions and electricity coursed through me and required his arm to wrap around my waist again in order to pull me into him and sandwich me between him and the wall. He kissed back with as much passion and persistence and yearning that I had, which was comforting.

When his kisses trailed down my face and towards the base of my neck, I was already in the process of pulling his shirt off. He briefly kissed my spot before he pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. My eyes trailed down to his chiseled chest briefly before I heard him laugh and grab my face to continue to kiss me. But now, we were moving closer and closer to the bed and once he threw me beneath him, our bodies were sure to stay pressed together, even when stripping pieces of clothes off.

***

I woke up to completely silent and dark surroundings. It was incredibly peaceful to say the least. I looked over to see Ryder beside me, sleeping with an even rhythm judging by the rise and fall of his bare chest. I rolled out of his arms and found underwear and a large shirt to put on and plugged my phone into its charger before I even heard him stir. But when I looked back on my returning, his position was shifted and his eyes were still closed. When I laid down, his arm had pulled me back into him like how we fell asleep hours ago and I heard him sigh.

"What did you need to tell me?" his groggy yet very attractive morning voice asked me. I lifted my chin to look at him, but his eyes were still closed while he took another deep breath. "You said you needed to tell me something...and we didn't really do much talking."

I let out a laugh just as effortlessly as he did, but looked away from him and felt his finger tracing my outside arm. As comfortable and tranquil as we were, I knew he wasn't asleep for me to just avoid the question.

"I just wanted to tell you I love you too," I told him.

"I don't know if that was the same message before the sex, but I'll take it for now," he replied in a fatigued voice of humor. He reached over to kiss my head and then pulled me closer. Good night, he thought and I thought he should've added "and good morning since I won't be here when you wake up," but I decided that the farewell was enough since I'd be sleeping in his arms for at least a few more hours.