"So, what happened? Ashley said you missed two lectures today." Caleb says as we sit in the cafeteria. He's sipping on orange juice as he looks at me with curious eyes.

"James and I talked." I tell him, leaving out the part where I almost had an anxiety attack because I never told him about the incident. I just cannot bring myself to talk about it and I wonder how much of a problem that would be for therapy.

He already sent me the contact of the therapist. Her name is Andrea Wilson, and I plan on calling her soon to fix an appointment this week.

"And?" Caleb is looking at me curiously and I notice how his hair is getting longer, almost reaching his eyes.

"He said we could try communicating better, and I agreed." I tell him the crux of it.

"You guys didn't kiss again?"

I shake my head, "I think we're both afraid of doing the wrong thing. So we're just seeing how things go."

He nods, giving me a small smile. "I'm proud of you, you know that? It can't be easy, to do what you've done for your family and handling this."

I don't think anyone's ever said that to me, ever. So his words just overwhelm me and I can't help when I wrap my arms around him. Caleb's at least three years older to me and he gives such an elder brother vibe.

"Thank you, Caleb." I say and he just hugs me back.

Today has been so eventful and it's just two in the afternoon. Caleb and I eventually let go of each other as he chews on the fries from my plate, making me swat his hand away.

"I think I'm going to tell Austin that I love him." He says, picking up the fry again but I just look at him.

"Has he said it yet?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"He's not very self aware to be honest, and sometimes needs a little push in the right direction of his feeling. He can act all party-guy and broody but I know the guy. I've been dating him for three months now." He shrugs.

"How do you when you love someone?" I ask, genuinely curious because I've never experienced it before.

"It's not rocket science that you have to discover, I guess. It's just a very strong feeling and bells are literally going off in your head about much you feel for that person. You have to be aware of your emotions, recognise them, and you just know."

I nod even though I'm still processing his words. I guess love isn't an emotion which can ever be explained through words. You know you're in love when you actually feel it in the moment. Before and after are just made-up scenarios.

"I hope it goes well." I tell him and he gives me a smile.

From the corner of my eyes I spot Max and Ashley walking towards us, holding hands. Caleb follows my gaze and then turns to me. "When the hell did that happen?"

"Yesterday evening." I tell him and he just has this very amused look on his face.

When they join us, Ashley gives me a hug while Max fist bumps Caleb. He takes a seat opposite me, smiling like an idiot as he pulls Ashley in his lap.

"So, if I remember correctly, the first day I met you, you said something about a particular girl not turning you on?" I smirk at him and he immediately blushes, making me laugh. "I'm happy for you two."

"Ugh. Another couple." Natalie says, joining us as she takes a seat next to me. "Us singles gotta stick together, Lil."

That makes me give her a tight-lipped smile. At least all of them are dating, not married. Austin is the last one to join us at the table and he immediately leans down to give Caleb a kiss, making me look away.

"You guys finally opened your eyes?" He asks the new couple as he pulls his chair closer to Caleb's.

Ashley blushes a little when she hides her face in Max's neck who just shrugs at the rest of us before setting his eyes on me. "Are you coming on Saturday night?"

It completely slipped my mind to have that conversation with James. I really want to be there so I nod at them. "I'll be there."

Caleb smirks at me because he knows that I haven't had that conversation yet but doesn't say a word, earning a look from Austin as looks between the two of us. "What?" He mouths to me but I just shrug it off.

I'll tell them one day, very soon, I'm just not ready for their reactions with this other drama going on in my life. After everyone leaves for their apartments, I walk towards my car. As I sit in the parking, I call the therapist contact James sent me. The receptionist gives me an appointment for Friday afternoon and I'm happy with that since I get free early that day.

I decide to go to office today, because I don't want to go back to the mansion and run into Chloe again. My nerves have settled down after a lot of difficulty and I think some work would serve as a good distraction from my thoughts.

When I reach the reception, the woman gives me a small smile, "Mr. Clark is in a conference meeting on the floor below. I'll let him know you're here as soon as he's free."

"Thank you. Can I wait in his office?" I ask and she nods.

"Yes, of course, ma'am."

I give her a small smile, "Please call me Lillian."

She grins at me as I make my way to James's office. I'm not really dressed up for office, I'm wearing black jeans with a cut on my knees and a sea green blouse with lace around the neck with a few fancy buttons. My hair are in loose waves and my beige flat sandals are the most comforting footwear ever. When I reach his office, the door is shut and I wonder if it's locked. But then my eyes move to the name plate I ignored the other day.

It says "James Clark CEO."

An involuntary smile takes place on my face as I look at it. He genuinely is deserving of this. I turn the doorknob and it actually opens, making me let out a breath of relief. I make my way to the couches and take a seat before pulling out my phone to scroll through the unread iMessages. There are a few from Jeremy and some more from Hale who kept texting me weird updates from his life, including telling me that he's proud of himself for having a glass of milk, making me roll my eyes.

I hear the turn of the doorknob and when the door opens, James, Hale and another woman enters the room. They seem to be in some sort of conversation but then their eyes land on me and James looks a little surprised to see me.

"I was told front desk would inform you that I'm waiting here." I stand up, a little nervous after our conversation this morning but before he can respond, Hale makes his way to me, giving me a bone-crushing hug.

"You really need to reply to my messages more." He says as he parts away, making me laugh a little.

"I was just checking them." I tell him before looking at the presence of a woman I don't know.

James looks between the two of us before he turns to her. "Alex, this is Lillian, my wife."

I step forward to shake her hand and smile at her, "You're the CFO, right? Have heard good things about you."

One of the things about being married to the CEO is you have to remember certain names and their positions in case you run into them. James told me about it on my first day here and I made sure to remember at least the most important ones.

"That's weird because I've never heard him say good things about me." Alex laughs, letting go of my hand.

I look at James, "You guys should carry on. I'll go explore a little."

"Don't be ridiculous, we're just about to have coffee." Hale speaks from behind me, his eyes set on his best friend who just nods.

"Yes, I'll just ask Amy to have someone get it for us." He says as Hale takes a seat on the couch, Alex moving to do the same.

Amy's name immediately displeases me but I try to ignore it as I look at James who goes in front of his desk to dial the intercom.

"Hey, can someone fetch three cups of coffee for my office? Yeah. And... hold on." He speaks before turning to me. "What do you want to have?"

"Is hot chocolate an option?" I ask and he smirks at me a little, before paying his attention back on the phone.

"And one hot chocolate."

The fact that he knows I'm not a coffee person makes my heart warm a little. I'm aware that the standards I've set for James are too low, extremely low but I don't want to keep them too high only to get disappointed. I'd rather keep them low and have him make me happy along the way.

"This isn't awkward for you, is it?" I whisper to James, making sure the other two don't hear us. I doubt they will since they seem engrossed in their conversation.

He scowls at me, "What, you being here?" He asks and I nod. "Don't be ridiculous, Lil. C'mon."

I smile at him, moving my hand to hold his and it obviously surprises him because he looks down at where our skin is touching. I don't think I've ever been more afraid of anything else but then he looks up at me and smirks a little, tightening his hold on my hand before moving to sit on the couch opposite to Hale.

A guy who must be in his early twenties enters the room with four cups and I turn around to see Amy directing him inside. When her eyes meet mine, she looks shocked before looking away which only makes me frown.

"Thanks." James tells the guy who I think must be an intern here. I almost feel bad for him but I know corporate internships include this at the end of the day. He looks surprised that James spoke to him at all and it doesn't go unnoticed by him either as he frowns at him. "You an intern here?"

"Yes sir."

James glares at Amy at his response, "When I said someone I meant someone who's been hired to do the pantry work. You know we don't let interns fetch coffee here."

He sounds pissed and I look at Hale and Alex who seem to be agreeing with him. Amy stares at him with disbelief but doesn't say anything.

Hale looks at the guy, "C'mon, man. Get back to work. Next time someone asks you to do something that wasn't part of the description, you tell them to talk to Hale Thomas."

The guys gives a grateful smile to him before hurrying out of the room and Amy follows him, throwing a dirty look at me as she leaves. I like how this office has a no-bullshit policy.

"Hey, is there a year around internship program?" I ask Hale, since being the CHRO, it must come under him.

He nods, "Yup. Usually final year college students do that. You interested?"

"Yeah. I'll mail you my resume?"

"You don't need to do that." James tells me. I didn't realise Alex was amongst us and she probably didn't know I'm a college student but she doesn't say anything and James hasn't tried to say anything either so I just shrug it off.

"I'd like to follow the process, I guess."

He looks at me with what looks like admiration in his eyes as he nods, a small smile on his face. "Just let either of us know a month prior you want to join."

As I sip on my hot chocolate, everyone breaks into a conversation of their own, talking about some baseball match. Until Alex's phone starts ringing and she gets up from the couch. "I need to take this. I'll see you guys later."

Both of them nod at her and I give her a small smile which she returns before excusing herself, leaving James's office. Hale is humming to some song, scrolling on his phone as James's hand moves on my thigh and he starts drawing slow circles there. Either he knows the affect his touch has on me or he's completely oblivious to his own actions.

When heat rises on my face and I look at him, there's a small smirk playing on his lips. Yes, it's definitely the former. He's trying to get a reaction out of me.

"Alright kids, I'm gonna go back to work." Hale says, standing up and James just nod at him while I wave at him, making him wink at me as he starts to leave the office. Just as he reaches the door, he looks back at James, "You free Saturday night?"

"Nope." James shakes his head, pressing his palm flat against my thigh and I try not to fumble under his touch.

Hale just frowns at him, not prying before leaving. I don't say a word as James moves his hand further from my thigh, the cut on my knees exposing my skin to him and his fingers reach there, almost making me jump but I bite my tongue before looking at him.

"Where are you going Saturday night?" I ask, trying not to sound like I'm intruding in his life. But he usually lets me know when he goes out on weekends, sometimes offering me to come along but I've never accepted.

He finally meets my eyes, his gaze intense as he faces me. "I think the correct question is where are we going on Saturday night, Mrs. Clark."

I can't help the smile which takes over my face as I continue to study his face, his smirk growing wider as he sees my expression. "Where are we going, Mr. Clark?"

"I'd rather show you." He whispers, his voice low and husky as his breath fans over my face. God. My breathing turns shallow in a good way, a really good way as I gulp, staring in his eyes.

Until it hits me. He's talking about Saturday night. I'm supposed to go for a sleepover that I agreed to and never brought it up in front of him. It's probably the change in my demeanour that makes him back off a little as he studies my face.

"What's wrong?" He asks and I mentally smack myself, chewing on my inner bottom lip as I look at him. "Lil, is it about me touching you?" He asks, moving to remove his hand but I immediately shake my head, putting my hand over his.

"I'm supposed to have a sleepover with my friends Saturday night." I see as the realisation dawns upon him and his lips press into a thin line. God, I hate disappointing him, but I also don't want to cancel on the plans I have.

"Were you ever planning to tell me?" He asks.

"I was, I swear I was. Just so much has happened and it wasn't the right situation." I explain and he relaxes a little, nodding.

"That's okay, we'll go some other time."

"Come with me." I blurt out, intertwining my fingers with his he arches an eyebrow at me. "I was told we could bring dates, so just come with me."

"A college sleepover?" His eyes are shining with amusement now. "I think I'm gonna have to pass. Now that I think of it, Hale has some plans."

I give him a look which only makes him shake his head at me. I never thought that James and I could ever have a conversation like this with him being playful around me. God, it almost feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It feels liberating.

"Okay, how about we go on the date first and then you can drop me off at Ashley's apartment, bid me goodnight at the door?" I ask, my voice low because I already know how ridiculous I sound.

He chuckles, his laughter filling my ears as he looks at me. "Sounds like a plan, love."

And just like that, happiness is coursing through me. He called me love. I know it's an endearment people casually use, but his british accent makes that word roll of his tongue so perfectly. I never thought James Clark could make me feel this way.

•••

i only have eight more chapters written in advance and i'm trying to write more but it's a slow progress. i love updating daily because i never thought this book will be liked but some of you guys read it and it makes my heart so happy.

to all the silent readers — i love you guys but pretty please, voteee!!!

to you cutie patooties who vote and comment, you have my heart.

lots of love regardless, t.