I didn't go downstairs for dinner. Mrs. George came to call me but I told her I wasn't hungry. I'm sure James must've informed her he found me upstairs. I apologised to her for worrying her but she just brushed it off with her kind smile and told me that the elevator was working again.

So last night, I cried. I cried until I had to cover my face with a pillow to hide my sobs because of what happened with Richard, I cried because I'm almost twenty one and I'm not supposed to be crying over the fact that my husband left me alone right after he kissed me for the first time.

The only time James has been that close to me was during the wedding, when he kissed the corner of my lips. I have no idea what goes on in that head of his but I just want some peace for once and not complications. I'm good with pretending we don't exist to each other as long as I can get peace.

That might not be completely true because every time I think about his lips against mine, tears surface in my eyes. I don't like feeling this vulnerable about another person, and knowing that the person is James Clark doesn't help at all.

I get ready for college wearing denim shorts for a change since the temperature just keeps going up with a plain black t-shirt. It has taken me so much inner debate get up from bed today, to actually convince myself that I couldn't miss any more lectures than I already had.

Sighing I pick up my bag and make my way out of the room. Just as I close the door behind me I look at James's figure and he seems to be dressed up for office, and my breath catches in my throat. He turns the corner of the hallway and I stand frozen in my spot, grateful that he didn't see me.

I take the stairs as I go downstairs, praying that I don't run into him so I decide to skip breakfast to avoid being in his presence. I can hear the voices from the kitchen as I rush out of the main door and pray to god that the car isn't blocked by anything else.

My prayers for once come true as I immediately get into the car before driving away. I make sure to put my phone on ringer in case Mrs. George calls me. It's weird that I have skipped two meals and I'm not even remotely hungry.

When I reach the college, a little earlier than usual, I make my way to the cafeteria to get myself a sandwich in order to keep my body moving. It is already buzzing with students rushing to get coffee and I run into Caleb, his red hair sticking out in the crowd.

"Hey." He grins at me, moving to give me a quick hug and I return it.

"Morning." I smile at him, "I skipped my breakfast so just rushing to get a sandwich."

"From here?" He points to the counter and I nod which makes him roll his eyes. "C'mon. We'll go eat in that favourite diner of yours."

He's speaking about the coffee shop and I immediately smile at him. "Where's Austin?"

"Max and him are working on their part of the project in library. I already did my part." He explains as we make our way to the coffee shop.

He casually talks about the assignment and I listen patiently. Honestly, the moment he gave me a hug, I felt like I would break down but I've been trying to keep it together. When we reach the coffee shop, or as Caleb calls it diner, he opens the door for me which chimes as we enter.

We take a seat by the window and a cute waitress comes to take our orders. I order a hot chocolate for myself and pancakes, while Caleb orders coffee along with waffles.

"So, what's wrong?" He asks and I stare at him, arching an eyebrow, "C'mon. You have dark circles under your eyes, and they are so swelled. You've obviously been crying."

"That obvious?" I ask as the waitress sets down our cups and food and I sip on it before mumbling a thank you to her.

He shrugs, "Kinda."

I have just known Caleb for over a month. He has always radiated a very comforting vibe and his brown eyes hold warmth beneath them. I look at him as he plays with eyebrow ring piercing, waiting for me to respond.

"See, I know we haven't known each other long but I consider you a friend. You can confide in me if you feel like it, I just want you to know that I'm here. It will remain just between the two of us."

I stare at him because I really need to let it out, I'm not sure who else can I confide into because I definitely cannot talk about this with my younger brother.

"I'm married."

He spits out his coffee in his cup, like literally, he spits it back while sipping on it and I immediately reach to give him tissues as he cleans his mouth and stares at me.

"Sorry, I just wasn't... expecting that." He says as he continues to stare at me. "I'm going to need a little more than that."

I nod as I go into past half year and explain to him how everything started, why I dropped college and how I joined it again. He very patiently listens to me, nodding along the way, asking the right questions and not even once did I see the look of pity in his eyes.

"Wow." He breathes when I finish.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I immediately pull it out. Mrs. George's name flashes on the screen as I pick it up.

"Hey." I say, holding up a finger for Caleb who nods as he eats his breakfast.

"Lillian, where are you?" She sounds concerned and I feel a little guilty about not informing her but I couldn't risk running into James so early in the morning.

"I left for college, sorry I didn't inform you. Is everything okay?"

"When was the last time you had a proper meal? You'll fall sick. And James hasn't left for his office, I have a feeling that he's waiting for you to join for breakfast." Her voice is a whisper as she says the last part.

Her words surprise me a little and I run a hand through my hair, "Can you tell him I left?"

"Yes, I will. Just please eat something. Will you be here for dinner?" She asks and I look over at Caleb who's focusing on his food but also paying attention to me.

"I'm not sure, I'll let you know."

She hangs up after making sure that I'm okay and I sigh, putting the phone on the table as I move to take a bite of my pancake. I really don't have the appetite for it but I don't want to fall sick.

"Okay, so I get it, got the back story. You're married. What's with the long face today?" He asks.

"We kissed, James and I, last night." I breathe out, finally letting it out in the open.

"Okay wait a second, I think I'm just about now connecting the dots in my head. You're married to James Clark, the new CEO of Clark Enterprise?" He gapes at me and I nod. "Fuck, that man's hot."

I give him a look which makes him roll his eyes, "The thing about James is, he's cold. Like I'm sure he's nice to the business clients but he's just not a very expressive or approachable person. Caleb, is it wrong that I'm so attracted to him?" I ask, looking at him and he just scowls at me like I've lost my mind.

"You're married to the man, Lil. And he's drop dead gorgeous, I mean I've only seen him in the photos online, but I'd doubt your orientation a little if you weren't attracted to him."

The last part makes me smile a little as I sip on my hot chocolate. I only had half the pancakes so I just pull out my pill pack to take it before I forget about it. Thankfully Caleb doesn't question it as he continues to eat his food.

"So, you guys kissed last night. Isn't that supposed to be a nice thing? I know you said the marriage isn't conventional but that has to be a step forward." He asks, clearly as confused as I feel.

I sigh, playing with my fingers, "We were having a really heated argument, I don't think we've ever argued like that. But the next thing I know he's kissing me and we're full on making out. And I knew he wasn't expecting that either so the moment he pulled, I knew he was just going to leave me alone and that's exactly what he did, ugh!"

Caleb gives me an apologetic look, "So you skipped breakfast to avoid him?" He asks and I nod. "Seems super complicated, Lil. Not going to lie, and sounds more than attraction to me if it's bothering you this much. You clearly like the man."

I stare at him, "No, I don't."

"Denial's never the answer, my dear." He clicks his tongue before asking for the bill.

I pay my part as I think about his words. I thought talking about it would make me feel better and while I do feel better after sharing, his words have left me just more confused. Caleb doesn't say a word as I process everything in my head and we leave the coffee shop to make our way back to the lecture.

"For what it's worth, I don't think the feelings are one-sided, Lil." He tells me when we reach the front of my lecture hall.

"Thank you for listening to me." I tell him, and he just gives me a warm hug before parting away.

I'm a little afraid that at most Caleb will share the details of our conversation with Austin but I really hope he doesn't. I don't think for a second that the way I'm attractive to James, he could be attracted to me but my thoughts keep reminding me that he was jealous last night. He admitted that he was jealous, so that has to mean something, right?

Ashley doesn't join me for any of the lectures the entire day which makes me call her up after the classes but when she doesn't pick, I decide to drop by her apartment.

When she opens the door with a bun on her head and still in pjs, I give her a look, "Who stole your toy?"

"Ha-ha, so funny." She rolls her eyes before letting the door open for me to enter. "I'm PMSing. And I think I might have feelings for Max."

She plops down on her couch and I arch an eyebrow, "You think?"

"Okay, fine, I know. I know I have feelings for him. Lil, he annoys the fuck out of me. How can I possibly be attracted to him?" She groans as she goes back to chewing on her granola bar.

I look at her, wondering the same question about James. If only I had an answer to it. I don't say a word as I pick up the remote, turning on the Netflix on her flat screen. I set it to That 70s Show and she grins at me.

"You know he likes you too, right?" I tell her, her smile dropping as she gives me a look, "What? I'm sure everyone knows, apart from you two idiots."

I wish it could be that easy, for someone to be around James and I and tell if he could possibly be attracted to me like I am to him. But we mostly have spent our time alone because in public we're just putting up a show. Hale's the only one who's seen the real us because we don't have to force it in front of him but even he doesn't know the depths of things.

God, is it normal for a person to occupy your thoughts so much? Ashley completely ignores what I said and focuses her attention back to the screen. I shake my head at her before doing the same.

There was some truth to what Caleb said. I can't possibly dislike Amy as much as I do because I'm attracted to James. I'm so jealous of that woman because the thought of two of them together just makes my skin crawl with anger. And just the thought of agony and dilemma on James's face after he kissed me makes me want to break down all over again.

"I'm ordering pizza for dinner, you staying?" Ashley asks and I nod, dropping a text to Mrs. George that I'll be eating out. I didn't even realise it was six already and Clarks have dinner at seven thirty.

There's a doorbell and I look back at Ashley who's speaking on the phone, ordering pizza so I go to open the door. "Natalie. Hey."

She looks surprised to see me but enters the apartment, "Are the guys not here?" She asks and I shake my head.

"Do you want a pizza?" Ashley hollers over the room and Natalie gives me an amused smile before nodding at her.

We all settle down on the couches again and I look at Natalie, "Hey, you think Max likes anyone?" I ask, feeling Ashley's glare on me but I ignore it.

"Don't we all know it's Ashley? I thought it was obvious." Natalie shrugs, making the girl in concern stare at us with parted lips.

"How can you be so sure?" She asks, chewing on her bottom lip.

"I don't know, the fact that both of you attached to hip? That even when you're not there, he cannot seem to shut up about you." Natalie groans out the last part, making me a laugh a little.

"The point is, we think he likes you." I tell Ashley who nods, getting lost in her own thoughts as she stares at the screen.

After half an hour there's a knock on the door and I move to get the pizza because Natalie is busy scrolling on her phone while Ashley is too lost in her thoughts. I pay the guy, thanking him before setting it out on the coffee table.

Just as we're about to bite into it, I hear keys jiggling on the door and Ashley literally freezes in her seat as she looks at the two of us, "You guys really think he likes me?" She asks and both of us nod.

She puts down the pizza slice at the same time Max enters the apartment and she walks to him quietly. He smiles at her, "Hey Pumpkin."

I don't think any of us expected that Ashley would straight out jump into his arms and kiss him, but she does and I stare at her, completely surprised but slowly a smile takes place on my features before Natalie snickers a little.

"You go girl!" She whispers beside me.

Max and her part away a little and he stares at her with utmost shock, and I mean it that I have never seen Max with such an astonished look on his face.

"What was that?" He asks, his eyes fixed on the girl in front of him.

"I'm sorry, I just— they told me you like me!" She practically groans pointing fingers at the two of us and I just shrug when Max arches an eyebrow at me. "Just forget about it, okay? I shouldn't have done that."

Ashley starts walking towards her room but Max catches her wrist, "They aren't wrong."

"What?" Ashley's back is towards to me so I can just hear her but she sounds surprised and I grin at them before focusing back on the pizza.

"Okay, I'm not having this conversation when those two can hear us. Let's go to my room." He pulls her in the direction of his bedroom.

"Use protection guys!" Natalie hollers over, earning a dirty look from Max and finger from Ashley which makes her laugh.

She turns up the volume of the tv before we both focus on the food. I hadn't eaten Pizza since so long, I forgot how amazing junk tasted. When I'm on my last slice of Pizza, Natalie turns to me a little.

"Are you seeing someone or away from the complicated life?" She asks.

For a second I wonder if Caleb told her but I have a feeling he didn't, he wouldn't tell anyone. I just trust him that much.

"The latter. You?"

She shrugs, "I think I'm into the hookup culture."

I can't help but wonder what does that feel like, to not be bounded to someone at all. We talk a little more about our lives. I get to know that Natalie is a single-child and I tell her about Jeremy. She's from Texas, which actually explains her thick accent a little.

Max and Ashley walk out a little later, a huge smile on Ashley's lips as she plops down next to me, "Thank you." She whispers and I nod, smiling at her.

All she needed was a little push, both of them needed it. Max eats the pizza with us and I wonder if I could wear that smile of happiness that she's wearing, my thoughts wondering back to particular pair of emerald eyes and dark blonde hair.