My breath hitches slightly but before I can even take another, James's lips rush over mine, moulding them perfectly together as his hands continue to hold my face, my fingers wrapping around his wrist for support as our lips move together. He parts a little, making me groan as he teasingly brushes our lips togethers, his hands moving from my face as mine go around his back to pull him closer.

He starts moving his hands from the base of my neck, his fingers leaving goosebumps in their wake as he slides them down to my breasts, making a moan leave me, then further down to my belly. His fingers pause at my lower abdomen, torturously moving further as his lips continue to stay above mine, our breaths mingling together as he reaches the hem of my dress, his hand tracing the skin of my thighs as his tongue very briefly meets my lower lip, making me arch my body towards his from impact.

God, he's torturing me. My eyes open momentarily and he's staring back at me with the similar desire in his eyes. There's absolutely no doubt in my head that he's pushing me to the edge on purpose, and I would absolutely give in.

"James, please!" I groan, leaning up to close the distance between us and he lets me kiss him momentarily before he pulls apart, making me whine because of the distance.

"Patience, love." He smirks, his hands roaming on my body until in a swift motion he lifts me in his arms bridal style, a very audible gasp leaving me from surprise. "Just doing what I should've done the day we got married."

His words make me gulp as I stare at his handsome face in absolute awe. His eyes barely leave mine as he walks around the apartment to the bedroom. Somehow while carrying me, he manages to unlock it and bring us inside and my eyes move from him to the rest of the room for a second as he carries me to the bed before laying me down.

My attention from the room easily shifts to him, his face looming over mine as he pushes over his shoes using his toes, moving to remove his socks then further down to get rid of my sandals. He places a peck on my ankle and continues to press feather-like kisses upwards, making my breathing turn heavier as I watch him.

When he reaches the hem of my dress, he pulls it up and I sit a little to remove it above my head as his lips claim mine, finally giving me the chance to kiss him properly as he moves in perfect sync with me. I feel his tongue on my lower lip as my hands fumble with the buttons of his shirt, removing them one by one as we continue to get the most out of each other.

He pulls back a little to remove his shirt completely as I stare at him through the moonlight peeking in the room. I can never get enough of how handsome he is, how perfectly shaped his jawline is, or how beautiful his eyes are.

"What?" He sounds breathless and I grin at him, my arms roaming around his toned muscles before moving down to his jeans. "Eager, are we?"

I don't even try to hide the blush that rises in my cheeks because my entire body is burning from the sensation of his touch as I unbuckle his belt and move to unbutton his jeans.

"God, you really are impatient." He groans when my palm meets his hard member, our eyes never leaving each other's until he nuzzles his face in my neck.

His tongue meets my shoulder as his hand removes the strap of my bra, his teeth nibbling on my skin, making me arch my back as our bodies rub against each other. We continue to tease each other until a my breathing turns deeper as James starts pressing open mouth kisses from my neck down the line of my bra.

He jerks back when my grip on him tightens, a groan leaving him, his eyes dark swirling with so many emotions as he stares down at me. After creating very small distance between us, his one hand comes to wrap around my wrist before he takes both my hands away from his body and pins them above my head.

"Now, love, I'm going to teach you how to be patient." He smirks, making me gulp at the lust dripping off his tone. "Keep your hands there."

I nod as he slowly removes his hand from my wrists and moves further away to get rid of his jeans, my breathing turning heavier as he stares at my half-naked body. He leans closer again as his hands go behind my back to unclasp my bra, making goosebumps rise on my skin from the impact of being so vulnerable under him.

Sometimes I wonder how am I so comfortable around him, but then I look at the way he's seeing me, and his gaze is all the assurance I need — the desire in his eyes show me how he wants this as much as I do. I never thought James could be the man to want me like this, but he does. He really fucking does.

He closes the distance between us as I kiss him, my tongue invading his to tell him through my actions how strongly I feel for him, how the heat in my body is rising with each passing second as I moan into his mouth as our tongues play with each other. His hands go to my knees as he pulls them apart, making me gasp in the kiss which only makes me feel his smirk. Goddamn that smirk!

"Hands!" James instructs, his voice sending a chill through my body as I realise that my fingers are laced in his hair so I retreat them back above my head.

He lowers his body against mine, our cores meeting, making me arch my back from impact. "James!" I moan loudly when I feel him against me with very thin layers separating us, the need in my body almost aching.

"Fuck." He breathes as he grinds against me for a second before pulling away, making a groan leave me.

"Please." I beg, torn between wanting to get rid of the sensation building while wanting to prolong it.

He doesn't say a word, his fingers find the waistline of my panties as he removes them, leaving me stark naked before lowering down his mouth on my breast. My eyes shut close from the intensity of feeling that runs through me as his tongue swirls on the swelled skin, making me cry out a moan.

I try to close my knees but immediately realise that I'm at his complete mercy. His fingers trace down my thighs before finding the bundle of nerves between my legs, the overwhelming sensation making me move my hands down to his hair but then he stops. He pulls apart and arches an eyebrow at me and I grumble.

"This is so not fair." I complain, wanting his tongue back on my skin as he grins at me. "You do know that you're paying back for this, right?"

"Oh, I can't imagine." He chuckles as he uses his free hand to pin my arms above my head again before his tongue gives attention to my other breast before his finger slides inside me. "Always soaking."

My thoughts become a little hazy as he starts tracing kisses down to my abdomen, his tongue pausing at places, driving me insane as his finger continue move. It isn't until his other hand comes around my breast as his finger and thumb draw circles on my nub while his tongue finally meets the most sensitive spot on my body do I realise how much control he has over me.

I wither under him as both his hands and his tongue do their magic, my eyes closing to take in the overwhelming sensations at once. The wave of heat that hits me wrecks a moan through me as he picks up the pace, my body speaking its own language that only he could understand. Without being able to keep my hands still, I move them down to his hair, grateful when he doesn't pull away but only pushes tongue further. When I open my eyes, he briefly looks up, our gaze meeting until he slides another finger inside me, his tongue flicking against my skin, leaving me breathless all at once.

"Fuck, James!." I manage to breathe, the heat in my stomach pushing me to the edge as he continues his actions, my legs starting to shake from impact.

Just seconds later I come undone under him as he slowly withdraws his fingers but his tongue continues its work, making me want more, more than this.

"James." I breathe out his name again and he finally parts away and I move my hand from his hair to his shoulder to pull him a little towards me.

He doesn't say a word as he kisses me, and I realise how he tastes of me. His hard member rubs against my thighs, the sensation in my stomach building up again as my fingers trace on his back down to his briefs, making him part away as he looks at me, arching an eyebrow.

"Lillian." He starts but I already know what he's going to say so I bring my one hand between us, palming him through thin cloth and he groans. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes. I need you." I plead, realising how pathetic I sound and he hastily nods as he kisses me briefly before pulling away. "What are you doing?"

He smiles a little. "I think we've already established that you're a terrible student who's very impatient."

A strong heat rises in my cheeks as I gape at him, "Maybe you're a terrible teacher."

"Well, you keep me distracted." He grins, his gorgeous face making my heart fill with warmth. He moves to pick his jeans from the floor and pulling out his wallet then a foil wrapper, making the realisation hit me.

He comes back to the bed and looks at me, his eyes roaming around my face for any look of doubt but he won't find any. I want this, I've wanted this for a while now but I haven't had the guts to be vocal about it. James and I have come very far in our relationship in past few months, from yelling at each other to understanding each other.

There is absolutely no one else I want more than I do this man. He sighs, his finger tracing my cheeks as he leans down to kiss me for a few seconds before parting away.

"Are you sure?" He asks again and I nod, my fingers coming to trace the skin under his eyes as I stare at him.

"Yes, absolutely. Are you?" I feel the need to ask because it's as much about him as it is about me.

"Yes! God, I've wanted you for so damn long now." He kisses me again, further pressing his lips down my jaw then again down to my breast and my skin comes alive under his tongue as he stares up at me, making me grow more impatient.

He pulls away a few seconds later to remove his briefs and tears the wrapper before pulling out the condom. I know we're both aware that I'm on the pill but double protection never hurt anyone. He looks at me again and I roll my eyes at his cautiousness, making him spank my thighs, a gasp leaving me which only adds onto his smirk.

"It's probably going to hurt, okay?" He says as he rolls down the rubber on his hard self.

His body comes above mine and he presses his lips on my neck, the heat in my body increasing before he kisses me and our tongues meet momentarily as he rubs himself on me, the lack of clothing making us both moan together. He pulls his lips apart as he continues to rub against me until I feel him meet the exact spot, making my breath hitch.

"You say the word, and I stop at once. Doesn't matter when, doesn't matter how long we've been at it. If you change your mind, we stop, okay?" He assures me and I nod, suddenly feeling so overwhelmed by his concern for me.

My emotions mix together with the heat in my body as I hold his face, pulling him closer to me to kiss him again as I feel him push a little, my lips parting from surprise at the sudden powerful pleasure that runs through me. His eyes stay open with mine as he pushes further and I finally feel the pain, my eyes closing from impact. His body goes rigid and I look up at him.

"Talk to me, please. Does it hurt?" He asks, and I nod.

"Yes, but I don't want you to stop."

His body relaxes a little as he pushes again, slowly and I feel every inch of him meeting my body as pain wrecks through me and I study his face, his eyes closed as he breathes his lips.

"Is it.." I manage to ask and he opens his eyes, leaving me stunned at the darkness behind them.

He shakes his head, a groan leaving him, "It's only halfway, baby."

Oh my! My body swirls with pleasure, overwhelming the pain for a second as I look at him without batting my eyelashes a single time. "Do it."

He arches an eyebrow at me and I nod, my hands in his hair to pull him closer and then I feel him move his lips as our bodies connect completely, a loud moan of pain and pleasure leaving through me as James's elbows almost give out under him.

"Shit, you're so..." he breathes and I feel him everywhere, my body screaming in pain from the impact but then he starts to move, his hips moving in and out slowly and I can't help when my eyes become a little watery.

God, the heat in my stomach starts to build as James stares down at me before pushing his tongue in my mouth, swallowing my every whimper as he continues to move, my pain present throughout but the pleasure of him inside me taking over.

I feel James every passing second, my fingers tightening around his hair as his tongue dominates mine, providing another strong distraction from the pain when he picks up the pace, his hips moving  faster and I moan.

He parts away, his forehead resting against mine, "You feel so good, baby. So good."

His mouth moves down to my breasts as he takes my erect skin in his mouth, making me arch my back as the heat builds up more, his eyes swirling with desire that only pushes me more over to the edge.

My hands move down to his back as he pulls my legs further apart, leaving me breathless as his tongue continues to torture me along. I feel every inch of him, my body getting used to this new feeling that has knocked me over the edge and has me completely under his control but a huge part of me knows how I have similar affect on him.

"James." I moan when he pushes harder, making me moan a little with both pain and pleasure and he draws back, staring down at me.

"Sorry." He slows down a little but I shake my head, my nails digging in his back and he finally comes up to kiss me again, taking in my every moan as I urge him to move faster.

He pulls my hands back above my head but this time his fingers stay wrapped with mine, his grasp turning tighter as we continue to feel every inch of each other, our breaths mingling together along with the sounds.

I feel the urge in my body growing as he continues to make me feel like I've never felt before, making me cry out from pleasure as he looks down at me before making our tongues meet. I feel his groan as he moves closer to the edge himself.

He keeps our tongues in perfect sync until I feel him pause for a second as he moans my name, it sounding like heaven to my ears as he finishes, his moves drawing out his closure, pushing me over the edge too as my head falls back and my hands tighten around his as my heat rolls over my body and meets the end.

"Lil, you okay?" He asks and I nod.

I slowly open my eyes, my vision a little blurry from the tears that left and brings his hand out to wipe them away. He slowly pulls himself out, leaving me with an empty feeling as he leans down to press a kiss on my lips before sitting up to remove the condom and ties the knot.

"Just give me a few seconds, okay?" He says as he stands up to move to the bathroom door.

My eyes follow his movement until he disappears behind the door and I close my eyes, letting this new feeling sink in completely. I'm still processing when I feel the movement on the bed and James sits by my legs, pulling them apart as he kisses my knee.

"Just need to clean you up." He brings a small wet towel in his hand down to my core.

Fuck. This is too intimate. Wow, Lillian. I can't believe I thought that after what just took place. I don't say a word as my cheeks heat up, James's eyes meeting mine and a chuckle leaves him.

"I know what you're thinking, but you've got to stop. We just made love, this is nothing." He kisses my thigh before looking down on the bedsheet and I sit up a little to see the blood stain on the dark blue sheet.

"Do we have a spare?" I ask, bitting on my lip, suddenly feeling too naked and he nods, his eyes studying my face.

"Just remove it. It's too much task and time to get another one on." He complains as he starts pulling it  by the edge and I can't help but laugh.

James actually removes the bedsheet and doesn't let me put another one. He just takes out a comforter from the bedbox and slides by my side, pulling my body closer to his as he kisses me, really kisses me so patiently before parting away, his eyes all over my face.

"How do you feel?" He asks, tucking my hair behind my ear as I look at his face, his features so soft with no usual frown on it.

"Content." I smile at him, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. This is my dream come true. "How about you?"

He sighs, pulling my hand up to his face to kiss my palm before pressing his lips on my knuckles and placing them on his chest, right above his tattoo. "I don't think I can describe it, Lil. I feel like I had everything before you, anything a man would want and more but with you, here in my arms, knowing how we feel for each other, it's so intense that it's not just about wanting you. I need you in my life."

His words overwhelm me as I process them, the same question that always surfaces in my head coming to me as I stare at him, feeling his heart beat under my palm. What have I done to deserve this man?

"What changed, James?" I manage to ask, afraid of his reaction but knowing that whatever he offers, I'll make my peace with it. He frowns at my question so I explain it further. "You wanted a marriage without responsibility, you hated me couple of months ago and couldn't bear my presence, so what changed?"

He gapes at me but then immediately recovers, "You're insane if you think I hated you. I was mad, so angry at life and my family lineage for having stupid tradition of settling down before taking over the company. But then I never hated you. I couldn't bear your presence because I didn't know how to be around you without realising that I was married. It felt like a punishment, Lil. I know it did to you too, so I hope you don't hold these words against me."

I nod, not denying or disregarding his feelings because I felt the same way, "Yeah, I won't. But then what changed?"

"You." He shrugs, tracing his finger on my cheeks, "You've always come off too strong, and I'm aware how you don't realise that, but you do. I noticed little things about you around the house but then you started coming around the office, and I started noticing you more, how you operate in similar ways that I do. How much you want to learn things and grasp them at once, and even if you don't, your questions had always been so particular about things others wouldn't notice.

"I'm not very good at articulating my emotions, Lillian, but the more time we spent together, the more I realised how much I wanted you. You're smart, funny, confident, caring and so fucking beautiful. I knew the latter always, the first few ones made you irresistible."

I can't seem to take my eyes off of him as I continue to repeat his words in my head. I gulp from the intense emotions running through me. I've never felt the things he just said, knowing that he thinks highly of me makes me want to burst out crying.

"Was there a moment you suddenly knew about your attraction or feelings, or whatever you want to call it?" I ask, trying to understand more because he's being incredibly honest.

"Attraction doesn't cut it. I feel for you, I care for you, I feel the need to constantly make you happy and be the only man you feel the same for. No woman has ever impacted me this way, Lillian because I've never really given a damn about anyone. So yeah, I knew when I wanted to kill that bastard for laying a hand on you, I knew when I saw your bare fingers the first time and thought about you with someone else. I'm very possessive, sharing has never been my strong suit and when it hit me that it's you who I didn't want to share, I knew I was done for."

His words leave me breathless as a few tears leave my eyes. The love I feel for him course through my veins as he stares at me with that longing in his eyes. He presses his lips against mine briefly before wiping my tears.

"I used to think marrying someone you could connect with meant responsibilities, but it just means putting enough effort to keep each other happy. And I want to make you so damn happy! I think the worst regret I have when it comes to us is not telling you how beautiful you looked on the wedding day, because love, all I wanted was to kiss you, rip that dress and take you as mine, because you weren't. So I couldn't, and it frustrated me so much so I retaliated in the only way I know possible — by being an asshole to you. But I promise to spend this entire lifetime making up for all of it."

•••

hiiii. sorry for the late update but I just finished writing this. probably lots of errors around here but I wanted this chapter to be super special and didn't want to write it in a hurry.

hope you all are good!

thoughts on the chapter? also, don't forget to vote.