My heartbeat picks up when I notice how my husband looks as handsome as I remember him to be, but his eyes have bags underneath and his hair are a little messy. He keeps staring at me, his eyes fixed on my face as his lips part to speak but no words come out. God, he looks like a version of the man I love but have never witnessed before, but the one who aware would be embraced with open arms.

"I—" I try to start, fumbling with my fingers but then lose trail, looking around to see that the bed is perfectly made up, and it looks pretty much the same like I left it. Nothing has been touched. "Did Mrs. George not change the sheets?"

God, is that really what I'm concerned about right now? Something's really wrong with me. Like, really screwed up in my head to bring that up when I'm seeing him after almost three days.

"Huh?" He seems to snap out of his trance and looks at the bed, then back at me. "Yeah, I didn't really use the bed so I asked her not to."

His words make me frown as I stare at him. "Where have you been sleeping if you didn't use the bed?"

"Guest room."

"Oh."

I don't know what to say, I want to ask him why but a part of me already knows the answer. He didn't want to be in this room without me, and I understand that, because that's exactly how I felt the night he didn't come back. That thought brings with it the emotions swirling within me as I meet his eyes and he's already staring at me intently, making my breathing turn a little shallow.

He very cautiously takes a step forward, gauging my reaction and it reminds me of how I stepped back so many times the other day. I don't step back this time, because I don't want to, but the look of relief on his face when I stay put almost brings me to tears. Never in a million years could I've imagined that I could have such an impact on this man in front of me.

"Are you back?" He asks, his voice a little hesitant as I pick up my weight off the doorframe and nod. "For good?"

I nod again and he takes a few steps forward but then stops himself, clenching his hands as he looks away and curses under his breath. His actions make me scowl, almost twisting my heart from pain so I take a step in his direction, making him look at me with surprise.

"It's okay, I'm not running away." I promise him and his face washes over with relief as his shoulder slump like I just took off huge burden from them.

Next thing I know, he's crossing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me in a tight embrace as I feel the familiar warmth of his body against mine. Holy! My breathing almost stops before picking up and then I sigh, tears stinging my eyes because as he holds me, it dawns upon me that I didn't even realise how much I needed it.

My arms go around him as I hug him and rest my head against his shoulder, taking in the smell of James that his clothes could barely replicate. The overwhelming sensations make tears spill a little as I sniff and he parts away to look at my face, which makes him frown.

"We've got a lot to talk about." He states the obvious and I nod. "Do you want to change first, get comfortable? We can eat and talk."

I shake my head as I look into his eyes, reading his face from such close proximity after so many days. "I'm not hungry."

"You look like you haven't been eating properly." He comments, and I sigh.

"I just want to talk, please."

He nods, taking a step back as he extends his hand in front of me to take. Normally, I would've opted changing but today I'm wearing formal slacks and a button down that's mostly comfortable. Also, I'm too nervous for our conversation, so I just want to get it out all now.

I keep my hand in his big ones, the familiar warmth engulfing me. He leads me to the bed and gestures for me to take a seat so I sit down against the headboard and he sits down in front of me, his eyes never leaving mine and my hands still in his.

"Hi." He gives me a small smile and I bite on my inner cheek to keep it together.

"Hey." I breathe, my thumb moving on his palm as I draw circles. He looks nervous, and I've never witnessed him being like this. We both just continue to stare at each other as my heart thumps loudly in my ears. "I— I heard the messages you left."

"Yeah, I was tempted to switch on your phone and delete those once I realised what a rambling mess I was."

His words make me smile a little as I can't help but admire how oddly calm I feel in his presence. "I'm glad you didn't. It's one of the reasons that made me come today."

"It is?" He looks surprised and I nod, continuing to read his emerald eyes that I thought about before sleeping.

"That, and the fact that you hired a new assistant might have something to do with it."

It's true, I never thought there will be a day that James would replace Amy, but this has to count as a huge step. His body relaxes as he brings his hand up to my cheek, his touch like feather as he caresses my skin, making me realise how much I craved it.

"I can't stand anyone coming between us, even if it's my own actions."

"You really hurt me." I gulp, trying to get things off my chest as I look at him. He looks surprised by my words but I promised myself to talk about this instead of pretending like it never happened. "No matter what the reason, and how it happened, James, it was really painful to find out about your whereabouts through media. I trust you, I really do and that's the reason I didn't like when a part of me started questioning you."

He listens to my every word, giving my hand a light squeeze as he visibly sinks into himself more but doesn't take his eyes off of me. "I know, and I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do to take back that night, I really would but I can't. So just please believe me when I promise you that I'll never ever do anything like that ever again. I'm aware I acted impulsively by leaving and I'll be more conscious of my actions, Lil. Just believe me this once."

His eyes are pleading and my heart melts a little because my anger has already died down. I do trust him, I know he was wrong that night, but it's enough for me that he's willing to work on it, he's acknowledging how his actions have pained me and rest the future would actually prove how he works on it.

"I do believe you. I'm just hurt, and I don't think that would magically go away." I tell him honestly and he nods, scooting a little closer to me on the bed and our knees brush as he brings my hand up and presses his lips on my palm, making my stomach flutter.

"Take as much time as you need, because I promise to make up for this for the rest of our lives. I'm not saying we'll be a perfect happy couple from now on, because we're both still learning but I promise to never hurt you because of another woman. Because no one matters, no one except you."

His words make my tears appear because I have never been this hurt by someone, mostly because I've never loved anyone like I love him. He brings his hand up to wipe my cheeks but doesn't ask me to stop crying, because I need to let this out even though I'm so sick of crying since last few days.

"Just... please don't ever run off again." I tell him, still crying. "And I'm so sorry about Chloe. She didn't deserve you, baby."

His eyes fill up at her name as he takes in a shaky breath, closing his eyes but when he opens them, his tears roll down, making my heart clench from the sight as he pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him as he cries, making me realise how deeply he's hurt by her actions.

"She was my little sister, Lil." His voice cracks a little. "I'm not sure where did I go wrong as a brother, or if I ever did anything to make her believe otherwise because the thought makes my skin crawl with disgust."

I rub my palm on his back as I tighten my hold on him, my tears coming with his because of how much my heart is aching for him.

"You didn't, James. You were nothing but an amazing brother to her, always. Some people just can't see past the money." I tell him honestly because that's all Chloe has ever indicated at even when she was trying to show me down. "Have you talked to her after that night?"

He shakes his head, "No, and I never plan to. I'm done with her, so fucking done with her."

There's anger along with his hurt and I understand it, I really do as we continue to hold each other. I never thought James was capable of crying, not because he's a man and men aren't supposed to cry, that's bullshit but because he keeps his emotions so closed off as a person that it was hard to imagine him being this vulnerable.

He parts away from me and my eyes land on his tears as I bring my hand up to wipe them away. He does the same for me and it makes me a smile a little because I'm so glad to be back here, to be there for him.

"I'm so sorry for all the times I doubted you because of her." He apologises and my heart overwhelms further. "I never thought she was capable of doing something like this."

"James, whatever happened, it wasn't your mistake. I know you blame yourself for what took place with Richard, but it's just their mistake, not yours. Please, believe me on that because if there's anyone who I feel safe with, it's you."

Richard's thoughts do make me a little nervous but a part of me is making peace with what happened. I can't let the demons of my past bring me down, and therapy is playing a huge part in making me realise that.

"I just... if it weren't for Chloe, nothing would've happened to you." He traces my skin, his tears dried up.

"Exactly, if it weren't for Chloe and Richard. It had nothing to do with you." I point out and he nods, but I know it will take some constant reassurances for him to actually wrap his mind around it.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you, but nothing happened, Lil. Nothing." He starts with pleading tone. "I know media's shit but please tell me that you know that I'd rather kill myself than ever cheat on you."

"I do believe you, okay? I just... that woman bothers me so much."

He sighs, "I didn't fire her, it's more of a replacement. She's working for the COO now."

I nod at the information, it doesn't surprise me because I knew he wouldn't fire her without a notice. Although I appreciate him informing me that she's still present in the office premises somewhere, in case I run into her. There shouldn't be a room for anymore misunderstandings between us.

"What made you replace her?"

"It had to be done, I had been delaying it because I wasn't ready to mess up my professional life by having someone new take care of everything. But it was necessary, and she hit the last nerve. If she was that concerned about me when I was drunk, she could've taken me back to the mansion because she doesn't know this address."

"Thank you." I breathe, because those are the exact things that were running through my head since three days, and to know we were both on the same page is such a huge relief. "I know you don't like to mingle your professional and personal life."

"At this point I've understood that my professional life is going to be chaotic if my personal one isn't good. You've always been right about work-life balance."

"Mm, really?" I can't help the small laugh that leaves me at his words and his face lights up with a little amusement. God, I've missed him. "How do you feel?"

He sighs, rubbing his temples as his forehead wrinkles with a deep frown. "Exhausted. It just, all of it came as a shock. To top that, I couldn't process that she could stoop low enough to go after you. But it makes sense, now when I think about it, she wanted to get under my skin and she thought I'll be pissed at you but god, that's just fucked up."

I nod in agreement, giving his hand a light squeeze. "I know, but this isn't your fault in any way, please remember that."

"She's family, Lil, or she was. She was supposed to be my little sister. The fact that I never had a sibling always bothered me as a teenager until my father married Amber and Chloe came around. She was just ten when I met her after Dad and her mother got engaged. I won't lie, I hated that my father married again, it made me feel like he had moved on from Mom so Amber and I never got along.

"I was always the trouble child for her. I started acting out in school because of how angry I stayed until one day I found Chloe crying because of how scared she was of my actions after an argument with her mother. I was a raging teenager but just for her sake, I stopped shouting and working on my issues. She was the sibling I always, always wanted. I could be a big brother to her and felt so protective of her, which also settled or at least made things bearable between Amber and I until she cheated on Dad. God, I really lost it that day and then she had the guts to abandon her daughter, I'm not proud of it, but I really called her some shitty names."

He pauses, his eyes meeting mine as I listen to each of his word intently. He has never opened up about this part of his life, even when I've tried to talk about it, he would change the topic so I gave him the space to come around on his own. What I didn't know was that we'll be having this conversation under such circumstances. Chloe really messed up!

"I convinced Dad to take her in, because I couldn't imagine where she would go. Jesus! If I had known that since last three years this is what she had in her head, I wouldn't have ever thought of being under the same roof as hers."

My hand around his tightens as I shake my head, "You couldn't have known, James."

"You tried to warn me, but I was so damn blind by my faith in her." He curses under his breath. "I'm sorry, I just don't deal well with losing people ever since..."

"Ever since your mother?" I complete and he nods. "Is that why you've never been in a relationship, or let people in because there's a chance of losing them?"

His expressions tell me that I hit the nail on the head. This suddenly explains so much about him. It makes me understand why he was never even open to the idea of relationships, and why he busied himself with the work, because he never wanted to feel the same pain he felt as a child when he lost his mother. He doesn't even have any friends apart from Hale, and I know if it weren't for the man's persistent attitude to barge in your life, James would have no friends today.

It also makes sense now why he freaked out so much when I mentioned leaving, or why we have a rule of never mentioning a divorce — he's afraid to lose me too. My heart hurts for him, so much that it almost brings me to tears again.

"I know how you're hurting, but please don't ever blame yourself for any of this. You're one of the most generous and kind person I know, and so loving." I convey with so much honesty as I take his face in my hands to make him look at me, sealing a promise. "I'm not leaving, James. Not now, not ever."

My eyes flicker to his lips and it feels like exactly how things were when we first kissed, the knots in my stomach twisting as I meet his eyes to know that he caught my gaze before both of us lean forward and our lips meet in such a slow movement that I sigh against him, my heart nearly giving under me because of how overwhelmed I feel.

His lips start moving against mine as my arms go around his neck and he pulls me to his lap, my skin heating up against his, the familiar warmth engulfing me as we continue to trace each other's lips. I can feel the same hunger radiating off him that's rushing through me for him.

We eventually part away as he rests his forehead against mine, both of us trying to catch our breath. I didn't know I was capable of feeling as strongly as I do for him.

"I know this has been an emotional rollercoaster, but there's something else I've to get off my chest, and if I don't do it right now, I'll continue to procrastinate it."

He nods, his hand coming up to my cheeks as he traces my bottom lip with his thumb. It distracts me for a while because it's been so long that we've gone without any form of affection towards each other.

"Tell me."

"It really bothers me sometimes how I'm married at such a young age, there are days when I wonder if things would've been better if we were dating, but I know that's not possible. Now that I say this out aloud, this sounds too dramatic but I'm still so young, James. I know you are too, but I'd rather be married at twenty five than right now, which doesn't mean that I'm not grateful for you, because I am. I wouldn't change anything between us, but just the aspect where the plan and timeline I had for myself got a little messed up."

I stop when I realise I'm rambling and he's just looking at me with his head cocked a little to the side, studying my face. I have been so afraid of his reaction that it makes me a little nervous to see the slight frown between hair brows.

"Is there more?" He asks and I shake my head. "I never assumed you'd ever be fine with being married so young, Lil. I can't imagine how you deal with this, but I'm here and thank you for being honest with me. I never want this to be a reason that you hold yourself back from the plans you have. We'll work everything out, because if you aren't happy then all of this is pointless for me."

His words warm my heart and I can't help when I kiss him again, our lips moulding perfectly as his embrace around me tightens, so much vulnerability in our actions as our movements are slow and counted. I part away from him, my heart beating loudly as I look into his eyes, his brows furrowed.

"Sorry, I just... I really missed you." He tries to put some space between us but I shake my head, pulling him closer with the collar of his shirt as I place a peck on the corner of his mouth and rest my forehead against his.

"I love you."

My heart's beating too loudly, almost making me fear that he can hear it as I wait for him to respond. I know I told him I'm in love with him the other day, but that's not how I wanted to tell him for the first time. I have grown in love with him, and he deserves to hear it with peace. He looks surprised by my words until his face splits into a smile as he sighs against my body.

"And I love you."

That makes my heart erupt with so many emotions because even though it'd sink in that he's capable of loving me, hearing him say it hits differently altogether. I close the distance between us as I kiss him, my eyes a little watery because of how emotional I feel.

I try to pour down all of my emotions through the kiss, moving our lips in sync and it's not soon before our tongues are mingling together and our hands are on each other's body. It's slow but sensual as our breathings mix together when we remove the barrier of our clothes.

We make love, trying to trace every moment in our minds as our bodies embrace each other in the most beautiful manner. Every moan, every gasp is felt so deeply, making my heart swell with love for him, for us, for the growth of our relationship.

I trace the stubble on his jaw as we try to catch our breaths later, lying under the covers and he looks at me with an emotion that I know is love. There's a sense of security with him, to know that he's not lying about who he is, how he feels. We've kept our emotions bare to each other.

"You're never allowed to leave me ever again." He mumbles as he presses a kiss on my hair and I smile at him, my heart feeling full after days of despair.

"Dad mentioned something about having the option if I ever want to take that road."

My words make him sit up a little as he supports himself on his elbow while gaping at me, "What?"

"They apologised for rushing me into this, and said that they'll manage if I decide to ever leave, you know?" I bite on my inner cheek as he scowls at me.

"Well, did you consider it?"

"Yes, that's exactly why I'm naked with you right now." I grin at him, his face relaxing as he shakes his head at me.

"Don't give me a panic attack, woman!" He pinches my waist, making me shriek and laugh at the same time. "Well, your father might have given you an option, but I'm not. It's a rule, love. You know what happens when you break the rules." He smirks at me and I can't help the smile on my face because I missed his smirk.

"Oop, was I not supposed to mention a divorce?"

He laughs, putting his hand around my waist as he pulls me closer. "I miss you."

"I'm right here." I frown and he nods, sighing as he kisses me.

"Yes, you're here and I'm not letting go, ever."

•••

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