The last couple of days of my life have turned things around in a more dramatic way than I could've ever imagined. As I listen to the music playing while my body soaks in the warm bath, I sigh, my eyes fixed on the wall in front of me.

I'm pregnant.                                                     

I found out two days ago, and since then, my mind has been spiralling. The moment I looked at the stick, I knew that my life would never be the same again, no matter what decision I come to.

"Hon, you alright?" James peeks in the bathroom and I jump a little with surprise.

He offers me an apologetic smile at my reaction. I let my heart come back to a normal pace as I look at him, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You've been in there for a while now." He points out as he enters the bathroom completely. "Want to tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

"Thinking." I shrug and he gives me a look, the one where he wants my utmost honesty but I just look away.

He doesn't say a word, just disappointingly shakes his head, removes his t-shirt and pulls down his boxers before coming to stand by the tub.

"Scoot."

I blink up at him, staring at his stark nakedness while he raises an eyebrow, as if waiting for me to get on with it, so I clear my throat and scoot forward. I feel him stepping inside, his skin brushing against mine before he settles down, a bit of soap water spilling out. I yelp and laugh as he pulls me back between his legs, my back pressing against his front.

"Now, what are you thinking about?" He asks, his hand moving on my shoulder as his fingers start brushing down my arms, his lips pressing against the nape of my neck.

A loud sigh leaves me as I give into his touch, craving the comfort it brings along. I bite on my lip, putting together my thoughts in place before turning a little to peek at him.

"Have you adjusted to the idea?"

"I don't think it's a two-day information processing thing, Lil. You cannot force yourself to process such a huge news or make such a rushed decision, you know?" His voice is oddly calm, which is a little soothing because it's opposite than my racing thoughts. He's right, though. Somehow, he always makes sense when I cannot seem to keep it together.

"It's like I'm continuously making a pro-con list in my head and my heart is literally fighting against it," I tell him honestly and he sighs, nodding.

His hands move from my arms down to my sides, coming to rest on my belly as he draws circle on my bare skin and I suck in a breath, my head falling against his shoulder as he kisses my neck again.

"Whatever it is, don't stress too much. It can't be good for you or the pregnancy."

I nod, understanding what he means. It's like I've created such a pressure in my head to come up with a decision as soon as possible, but deep inside, my heart already knows the decision I want to make. I'm just struggling against myself at the moment.

My hand moves to cover his above my belly and his head rests against my shoulder. I know he said it's my decision, and I know it is, but I have to always know how he feels about it too. It's a two-way thing, I cannot make this about myself when we're both equally involved in it.

His initial reaction might not have been the best one, but it wasn't unexpected. Kids have always been a little grey zone for him, but the way he came around to settle his own thoughts to comfort mine, it has been absolutely amazing and I admire him so much for it. There's a reason my love for him has grown so much over the time, it's his actions, it's his love that strengthens mine.

"Did you get an appointment for tomorrow?" He asks me, drawing me away from my thoughts and I shake my head.

"No, I forgot? Will you please call and get it?" I pout and he gives me an amused look.

"Can't believe you get away with everything just by that cute little face." He remarks and I can't help the smile that takes over. "Now, let me wash you before we end up spending the entire day here."

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea." I grin, my insides lifting up now that I've put a pause on my overthinking.

"When has anything that involves us naked sounded like a bad idea to you?"

I dramatically gasp, "You're making me sound like a pervert."

"Nope, just stating your obsession with this." He points to his own body and I laugh loudly, not being able to hold back. "Yes, yes. Laugh all you want. We both know how it works with you, laughing one second, screaming my name the next."

This time, my gasp is very much audible and real as I swat at his arm. "Incorrigible, Mr. Clark."

"Only when it comes to you, Mrs. Clark."

We end up spending another half an hour in the tub before we both force ourselves out of it. The rest of the afternoon goes in preparing for dinner. James prepares the only thing he seems to have aced till now – spaghetti, but he does help me with other stuff. It seems like such a routine now, to cook with his presence in the kitchen where he either observes, tries out horrible recipes or we're both at it.

He has come a long way from someone who used to want his coffee served at the breakfast table to the man who wakes up half an early to make breakfast for both of us on couple of days in a week – the rest of the days we eat cereal. I haven't brought that change, as much as I would like to take credit for it. He does it on his own with new realisations over the time, and he has also tried to strike a balance between his work and life. He's been managing it pretty well since last few months especially, struggling lesser with time.

James is zipping up my wine-coloured dress when the doorbell rings and I look at him in the mirror reflection, "Let's not mention it to anyone, alright?"

He immediately nods to my request, "Of course, it didn't even cross my mind."

I smile at him and he returns it with his re-assuring one before moving out to open the door. I don't follow him immediately. I look at my reflection, my hand moving to my belly almost subconsciously as I rub a hand over it, a smile taking over on its own. Sighing, I nod at myself confidently before moving out to greet everyone.

"Oh, you're the earliest! How was the honeymoon?" I rush over to hug Hale, something I've missed over the past few weeks and he immediately hugs me back.

"Marvellous, It was so beautiful." Alex gushes as I give her a hug before she turns to James. "How's the office?"

"No!" Hale and I protest at the same time, exchanging ridiculous smiles.

"You aren't discussing that tonight," I inform Alex and she puts up her hands in defence.

"Alright, alright."

"Come on, now! Tell me everything." I grin as we take a seat on the couch. My eyes move to Hale so I immediately add, "Unless, it's just sex related. I don't want to know, then."

Alex blushes at my comment but it only makes Hale smirk, James shaking his head in amusement as Hale speaks up, "We did more than that, alright? It was a beautiful place, really. A lot to explore."

"Well then, get on with it." James rubs his palms together, always curiously looking for things to embarrass his best friend.

They are in the middle of telling us how Hale almost fell off a jet-ski when the doorbell rings again so this time I excuse myself. As soon as I open the door, two strong arms wrap around me and I immediately return the familiar embrace.

"Oh my god!" I breathe, not letting go as my brother continues to hold me.

"Yes, yes, I missed you, so much!"

I chuckle, parting away as I look past him and notice Joan, Caleb, Austin and Natalie standing. "Damn, did all you plan to come together?"

Natalie moves to hug me, "No, we ran into Jer and Joan in the elevator."

"Come on in!" I open the door wider as all of them step inside.

Caleb is the last one to enter and wraps his arms around me and I sigh, trying not to let my conflicting thoughts be evident. My bond with Caleb over the time has just gone stronger. I don't believe in labels, but if I were to say that someone is my best friend, it's this guy right here. He has got my back, always, whether it's when I called him at four in the morning or showed up at his doorstep at eight in the morning.

"How you doing, kid?" He ruffles my hair as I swat his hand away. "Damn, someone's pissy."

"No, I always, always hate it when you mess with my hair," I scrunch up my nose at him. "So, how are you?"

"Gaining white hair by the second we talk," he grumbles, making me snicker because he's twenty-five now and he's not processing that very well. "This is the most I'll peak, you know?"

"We know, Cal, we know." Austin shoots back at him sarcastically which ends up with me laughing and Caleb throwing a dirty look at him. "I hear it every morning, you're having mid-life crisis."

"So not!" Caleb gasps. "You'll understand in a few months."

Austin just shakes his head before moving further inside. Caleb keeps his arm around my shoulder as we get into the living room area and everyone congratulates the newly wed. Caleb nods at James before turning to Hale, "Sorry, man! We couldn't make it, Austin's father isn't doing so well."

Hale shakes his head, "No issues, man. Lil already told me. How are you coping, Aus?"

Austin's father was diagnosed with MS this year, so the entire adjustment for their family has been a little difficult. Caleb has been there for him every step of the way, and I really admire the bond they share, especially now that they've overcome their issues.

Over the years because all of us have hung out so much together, everyone eventually bonded together. It's surreal how well everyone mended with each other, and I think James and I were the only ones who were surprised, given our lack of expertise in friends department.

Austin shrugs at Hale, "Trying to drown my sorrows in alcohol."

"Got your back!" James gives him a small smile, standing up to go to the bar. He looks back at everyone, his eyes roaming around. "Are Ashley and Max going to make it?"

Natalie groans loudly, shaking her head. "Don't ask. I don't think the two of them go anywhere, honestly. I did talk to Ash this morning, she said they'll try."

"Why the fuck don't people break up when it isn't working out?" Joan grumbles by my side and I rub her arm for comfort, aware that she isn't coming from a bad place. She has had too much of her parent's fights.

They got separated six months ago, finally, but divorce still isn't something which is in the near future for them. Their own daughter knows they don't belong together, so I really don't know what's wrong with them and why are they holding onto something that's been long dead. Perhaps it's easier for me to judge because I'm not in that situation.

"What does everyone want to drink?" Austin stands up, moving over to the bar counter and I look at my brother and his girlfriend.

"I'll have vodka, if you got any?" Joan looks at James who nods.

Alex stands up as well to help and turns to me, "Wine for you, right?"

I nod, smiling as everyone else calls out their drinks. James looks at me and smiles a little before looking around and clearing his throat, "Lil, would you come here a sec?"

A frown takes over my face as I excuse myself and make my way over to him. He takes my hand in his and pulls me into the kitchen, turning towards me with a baffled expression.

"What?" I scowl at him.

"Baby, you aren't supposed to drink."

"Fuck!" I slam my palm against my mouth as the realisation hitting me. Shit. Did I for a second forget that you cannot drink when you're pregnant? God, how the hell can I be so careless? "What do I tell them?"

He keeps his hand on my shoulders, pulling me closer to calm me. "Deep breaths, okay? Just make some excuse. They'll understand."

"I think Alex already poured me a glass. This is a disaster."

He looks out in the living room and sighs, "It's okay. I'll get that, just take charge, alright?"

"You'll drink wine and skip on your beer and scotch?"

He shrugs, "For you, anything."

I just smile at him, closing the distance between us to kiss him before we move out and Alex hands me the glass but James comes behind me, smoothly taking the glass from her as he turns to me, "I'll take that. Do you mind getting another one?"

Smooth. I try to hide my smile as I clear my throat, "Actually, you know what? I'll skip drinking today. I can still taste my hangover from the trip."

"Oh, yes! You went to Texas, right?" Alex asks, immediately distracted with the new topic. "Damn, how was it? Skip the business part, tell me the fun one."

We make our way to the couches to sit with everyone as I turn to my friends, "I ran into Anna during the flight, so I spent a lot of time with her during the trip."

I gauge Natalie's reaction but she just continues to sip on her gin. So, I tell them the fun parts, the clubbing, the eating alone at Chinese place. I skip all the drama that went down with Chloe, of course, and the part where my sickness had more to do with my pregnancy and less to do with alcohol.

Suddenly, I realise that when I got drunk on Thursday night, I was still pregnant. Is that going to affect the baby? My nerves grow a little as I wait to keep my questions for tomorrow's appointment that James fixed with Dr. Lea in the morning before office.

"Nat, one of my friends is getting married in March, and she loved the makeup you did. I gave her your contact, you don't mind, right?" Alex asks her and Nat's eyes sparkle up, nodding.

"Oh my god, no! That's amazing." She chews on the chicken wings while sipping on her wine. "Thank you!"

"Not an issue, you did a great job!"

"Show us the photos when you get them, alright?" Jeremy tells her and she nods.

"You gave a toast, didn't you?" Caleb asks James who nods. "Anyone got a recording?"

"Yes! I do. Eve recorded it, she sent it to me." I pipe in excitedly, reaching for my phone and James gives me a look.

"It's a little disturbing how much she gets back to you with all my information."

I teasingly grin at him. "Why? Are you doing something I shouldn't know about it?"

He just shrugs in return, finishing his wine glass before reaching out for a beer can. Caleb takes my phone to watch the video as everyone gathers around to watch it. My eyes move to my brother who seems to be a little lost in his own thoughts so I stand up to go sit next to him while everyone busies themselves with the video recordings. I bump my shoulder with his and he gives me a small smile.

"What's wrong?"

He loudly sighs which only adds onto my worry, "I don't want to talk about it here."

His words make me frown further as I look around. Everyone seems to be busy with themselves so I stand up and look at him, "C'mon, we'll go in the study."

He looks around himself and nods before standing up and we make our way down the hallway. Once we're in the room, I motion towards the chairs and he takes a seat, keeping down his beer as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Spill."

"I lost my part-time job, and I'm really struggling financially at the moment." He lets out exasperatedly, meeting my eyes. "Joan's been trying to help, but she's got her own expenses and I just feel like I'm burdening her."

"Jer, why didn't you tell me?"

He lets out a sad laugh, "What would I've told you, Lil? That I got a job after so much drama with Dad about being independent and then was fired?"

"Hey, hey! There's not reason to be ashamed. I'm your sister, there's no judgment here." I reach out to hold his hand. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Someone accused me of stealing tip money," he speaks but then immediately explains further, "I didn't take it, I swear, but I had no proof and the owner fired me right away, saying that I should be lucky he didn't call the police."

"But you didn't take it, Jer! What the hell?"

"That's just how it is, Lil. People don't listen or care to listen. Anyway, I've been looking for another job but then exams came up. Now I'm here, I'll hopefully get something once I head back."

I feel upset and mad at his manager. But mostly, I feel worry for my brother. He has too much pride that he holds onto very strongly. He wouldn't ask Dad for a penny which is why he's in the position he is. Dad didn't even want him to do part-time, he has had a difficult time accepting that Jeremy might be his son, but he wants to be his own person despite the pampering they want to shower him with.

"For the time being, I'm lending you some money, okay? I'll transfer it to your account tomorrow morning."

"Lil, no." He shakes his head and I sigh.

"Jer, look, I'm your elder sister and if money is the problem, I got it, okay? You don't have to go to Dad, he'll never know about this. If you want, I wouldn't even tell James. Let's just keep it between us, alright?" I give his hand a little squeeze, wanting to help him in anyway I can. "You've never asked me for anything, just let me be there for you. I've got plenty of savings now that I've been working for over a year. So, I got this, okay?"

He hesitantly nods, "I'm going to pay you back though."

"We'll see about that." I smile at him, ruffling his hair and a little relieved when he smiles back. "I want you to be able to come to me with anything. I don't care what it is, we're always there for each other, right?"

"Always." He promises and I stand up to hug him as he does the same, easening my tension because if I know he's alright, I'll be at peace too.

There's a slight knock on the door before it opens and Joan peeks in, a small smile on her face. "He told you?"

I nod, gesturing at her to join us. She comes to wraps her arms around us.

"I told him so many times to talk to you, but he's so damn stubborn. Sometimes I wonder how do I put up with him."

Jeremy sticks out his tongue at her, "Because you love me, munchkin. Shut up."

"Oh, almost forgot. I came to call you for shots!" She squeals happily. "James pulled out his favourite tequila."

"What?" My eyes widen and she nods at me.

We make our way in the living room and sure enough, shots glasses are scattered on the table as James is opening his favourite, Asom Broso Añejo tequila.

"That bottle looks like a dick." Hale very amusedly points out and I can't help but laugh because he isn't wrong. I'm assuming that's the first thought anyone would have looking at it.

"Hale!" Alex swats at him and he chuckles.

"What? I'm just stating what everyone's thinking."

James shakes his head at his friend before turning to everyone. "Who's in?"

"All of us are taking at least one shot, even you Lillian!" Natalie claps her hand excitedly and just then the doorbell rings.

I immediately take that as my cue to leave and see who's at the door. I'm surprised to find a smiling Ashley and Max standing on the other side.

"You made it!" I glee happily as I move to hug them and they return it. "I'm glad you could come."

"Of course. It's a life rule to not miss any Clark dinners, they are the best ones!" Max pinches my sides and I yelp, swatting his hand away. "Everyone here already?"

I nod, smiling as he makes his way in and I turn to Ashley, "So?"

She shrugs, "Today's one of the good days. We're late because we got caught up with the love-making."

I immediately scrunch up my nose, "Ash, don't want to know!"

She laughs, wrapping her arm around my shoulder as we all go inside. It's refreshing to hear her laughter or to see the two of them smiling together because last time they both appeared with grumpy faces. Maybe there's hope for them, after all.

"Oh, shots! We're right on time."

"Yes, you are!" Austin laughs, standing up to hug her.

Everyone greets them before Natalie comes up with two more shots glasses and I move to stand by James's side. I intertwine my arm with his, resting my head on his shoulder as I feel him press a kiss on my hair.

"You alright?" He whispers and I look up at him, feeling a little overwhelmed for some reason as I nod at him. "Take the shot glass, alright? Just sneak it to me."

I laugh, nodding as I press a kiss against his jaw, feeling this sudden surge of love for him. When you've been with someone for so long, it becomes a habit, you get used to the feeling of loving them but then there are times that slightest of their action makes you want to sit them down and shower them with love. This is one of those moments, because James has been unbelievingly supportive and patient with me for past couple of days.

"Alright, here!" Hale passes me a shot glass and everyone gathers into a circle to cheer.

"Early Merry Christmas." Joan cheers, making everyone laugh.

"Bottoms up on the count of three," Max says as everyone puts up their drinks, including me.

All of us count backwards, and James gulps down his shot before handing me his empty one, snatching mine to down that as well within seconds. He does it so quickly that by the time he's done, everyone's downing their own single shot.

He shakes his head a little and I bite my lip because if he continues to take my drinks for the rest of the night, it isn't going to end well for him.

"I'm going to get some water. Anyone needs it?" I ask and everyone shoots up their hand which makes Caleb give me a smile.

"I'll come with."

I nod as we move to the kitchen and I fill up glasses for everyone and he turns to me, staring at me which make me frown at him.

"What?"

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"What?" My heartbeat picks up as I look at him with confusion, no idea what he's talking about. I laugh it off a little, "No, there's nothing. Why?"

"Mm," he mumbles before meeting my eyes. "Why did James take the shot for you?"

Of course, he noticed. Caleb is the most observing person I know, he's the only one who would rather stay silent throughout a party with his squinted eyes as he tries to observe everything around him.

I sigh, gulping as I look out in the living room to notice that everyone's busy with themselves. "What do you think is the reason?" I ask him, noticing his expression.

He frowns first but then the realisation dawns upon him, "Wait, are you–? Oh my god, come here!"

He pulls me into a hug and I try not to cry as he happily embraces me. I wish I was sure of my decision and could embrace the happiness as well but I just stay quiet as he parts and looks at my face.

"Congrats, Lil. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I–" I clear my throat which makes him scowl at me. "I found out couple of days ago, and I haven't come to a decision yet."

He immediately nods, rubbing his palm up and down my arm, "That's okay, kid. This is a huge step, you take your time to think, alright?"

"I'm trying." I sigh, peeking out to see James taking another shot with Hale. "How does one decide?"

Caleb takes a seat on the bar stool at the island and pats for me to do the same so I do that. "Why do you want to keep it?"

I don't even have to think about the answer, it's right there on the tip of my tongue, "Because I want to be a mother, I want to have kids. I didn't think it was possible at all when I got married yet here I am, living the dream. I have a healthy and supportive relationship, I'm financially independent, and I don't think I can't ask for anything better."

"Then what's the problem? Is it James?"

I laugh at his question, shaking my head. "God, no! That would've been a disaster. He's so damn supportive, it's surreal. I know he'll stick around for whatever happens."

"I'm still not hearing what the problem is, Lil." He insists and I sigh, running a hand through my hair. He's right, I haven't really stated what the real problem is.

"It's my age, that's the problem, Cal. Literally, there's nothing else, not even a single factor that's holding me back. That man out there? He's the best husband and I know he'll make a great father but what if I'm too young for the responsibility, and I screw it up with the baby? You know my mother had me when she wasn't even married to Dad? They were dating, and got married a couple of years later after I was born. But she did well, they both did. I have no idea how to be a mother."

"Hey, hey. Breathe!" He keeps his hand on my shoulder and I take a deep breath, catching onto it. "First of all, I want you to stop judging yourself for something you want but are holding yourself back for your age. I don't think it's the age that matters, Lil. It's about how much you're ready for the responsibility, and you know when are you ready for it? When you want something, you get good at it."

I let his words in, meeting his eyes as I take in a shaky breath, voicing my biggest fear. "What if I suck as the mother and the baby ends up hating me?"

"Kid, there are plenty of mothers out there who are in their thirties or early forties and they royally fuck it up. If you suck at it, it has nothing to do with your age but your intent. I know it's a huge responsibility, and that's why I want you to think about this before you take a decision, alright? It isn't a job you can quit or a toy you can keep aside. It'll be your child, but something tells me you already know that, so really, stop judging yourself. It isn't a crime to want to be a mother at this age."

I wipe the tears that prickle my eyes as I nod at him, pulling him closer for a hug. I had no idea how much I wanted to hear someone say the things he just said, to get my mind in the right place. He hugs me back and lets me spill a few tears.

"Now, cheer up. Your husband looks like he's having the time of his life."

I follow his gaze and notice that someone has started the tv screen and attached the karaoke set with it. James and Hale are singing some ridiculous song, and the sight immediately makes me laugh.

When we join everyone in the living room with water, Austin pulls Caleb to himself and Max and Ashley also seem to be having a good time which makes me smile. I take a seat by Alex and smile at her.

"So, how's the married life?"

"It's just dating with a heavier tag, I suppose?" She laughs and I nod, looking at the men. "They are going to be so drunk by the end of the night."

"Can't wait." I remark sarcastically.

It's around one in the morning when everyone leaves and I look at the clean living room. I think the best part about our bunch of friends is, that we always clean up after a party. James is drinking a glass of water that I gave him when I enter the bedroom after changing out of the dress. He's already in his boxers as he gives me his mesmerising drunk smile.

"You're damn beautiful, you know that?"

I laugh, snuggling into his chest as I pull the covers over us. "You're damn drunk, you know that?"

"I don't get drunk, I'm just tipsy." He mumbles as he turns towards me completely, pulling my hands up to kiss my palm. "I want to say something, and I don't want you to think I'm saying it because I'm drunk, or tipsy or whatever."

"Whatever. Now, there's a term sober James would never use."

"Lil, I'm serious."

I stop laughing as I look at him, meeting his dark eyes, "Okay."

"I know you're terrified of screwing things up, but I want you to know I'm here alright? We learn and we grow, love – that's what our relationship has been about and that isn't going to change if we have a baby. We didn't know how to date, let alone be in a healthy relationship but I think we're doing a pretty good job so far. No one comes to earth with a handbook on how ace things, so what I just really mean is, I got your back. No matter what, okay? I love you, and I will continue to love you. Just please don't be so hard on yourself."

When he finishes, I have tears running down and I curse mentally for being so emotionally sensitive today as I lean forward to kiss him. He kisses me back before sighing and I part away.

"I love you, and I will continue to love you." I promise back and he smiles at me, wiping my tears.

He turns around, taking my arm along with his as I kiss him on his shoulder before nuzzling my nose in the crook of his neck and dozing off.

The next morning we're both rushing out of the apartment as he looks at me. "You got everything?"

"Yup." I nod, a little nervous about the appointment and glad that we're driving by ourselves. It just gets harder to hold a conversation in Reece's presence.

When we're in the car, I look out of the window as his hand comes to rest on my thigh and he gives it a light squeeze. My thoughts are much calmer today, I think Caleb and James both have been more reassuring than was possible.

He parks outside the hospital where I have an appointment with Dr. Lea. She has her private clinic too, but when James told her what it was about, she asked him to schedule an appointment at the hospital. He has been with me before to a few of the appointments for regular check-ups and to collect my prescription of contraceptive pills as well.

James gives my hand a squeeze while we wait for the nurse to call us after we've filled the form. He looks a little nervous himself, but I know he's keeping it together for my sake, which I really appreciate. This is new territory for both of us.

"Lillian Clark?"

"Yes?" I perk up, looking at the nurse and she gestures towards Dr Lea's office.

I nod to myself, and James doesn't let go of my hand as we go inside.

"Lillian, always good to see you." Dr Lea smiles at me which I return as she nods at my husband. "James."

She opens up my regular file to herself and goes through it before looking up at us, "James mentioned your period is late?"

I nod, "Yeah, actually, I took a pregnancy test."

She doesn't look surprised by the statement, "Well, let's hear it then?"

"Pregnant, of course." I mumble, letting out a breath.

"When did you last cycle end?"

"About six weeks ago?"

"Alright, do you mind if I run an ultrasound?" She asks and I immediately shake my head. "Okay, the nurse will provide you the clothes to change into, just go through that door. James, you can wait outside."

My eyes move to James who frows at her words so I speak up, "Actually, can he stay?"

She looks up from her prescription pad and looks between the two of us before nodding. I sigh, standing up and moving through the door. The nurse smiles at me, providing with hospital clothes and a full water bottle.

"You know what to do," she tells me and I try not to roll my eyes.

I think drinking excessive water to get an ultrasound done is the part I've always hated the most. James turns to me, giving me a reassuring smile.

"How do you feel?"

"Bloated." I shrug and he nods, looking around the room before his eyes set on me. "You're nervous."

He rubs the back of his neck, smiling a little. "It'd be weird if I wouldn't be. This is normal, right?"

"I don't know, babe. Do you want me to call up and ask the last guy who knocked me up?"

"Very funny." He rolls his eyes but a laugh escapes him, making me smile.

After a while, Dr Lea enters the room and smiles at us, "Full bladder?"

"Yeah, I hope so. I can't drink anymore," I grimace and she gives out an amused smile.

"Lie down on your back, Lillian."

I nod and she covers the lower half of my body with a sheet before pulling up the upper cloth and squishing gel on my belly. I try not to let the cold gel get to me before she brings her equipment down on the skin and rubs it on, her eyes set on the monitor.

My eyes move to James and he seems to be staring at me with an intense look, but mostly he looks really nervous, more than I've ever seen him before. He takes my hand in his and continues to hold it as Dr Lea rubs the ultrasound wand. She continues to stare at the screen and my nervousness grows to know if everything is alright.

But then she looks at me and gives a small smile, "Yes, you're pregnant. Six weeks along."

I let out a huge breath I didn't even know I was holding as I tighten my hold on James's hand. Dr Lea points at the monitor screen and turns it a little towards us.

"Can you see that?" She points at a very small movement on the screen and I nod. "That's the foetus."

"That tiny?" I ask, clearly surprised and she nods, looking at James whose eyes are literally glued to the screen.

"Congrats to you both."

I peel my eyes away from James and turn to her, looking conflicted and she must read something on my face because she clears her throat, moving the machine for a while before she turns to me. "Everything's normal so far, but I know you must have a decision to take. If you want to abort, I'd suggest get it done within the first trimester, the health risk that follow are comparatively lesser, especially because it's possible through medicine and a surgery isn't required. So, you've a couple of weeks to take a decision."

James nods at her and she smiles at us, a reassuring smile.

"I'll leave you two alone, see me in the office after you're done changing." She reminds me as she cleans up the gel and turns to leave.

Once we're alone, James turns to me, and he looks so pale which makes me frown as I keep my hands on his cheeks. "Hey, you alright?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" He laughs, shaking his head as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into an embrace. "That was intense."

I bite on my lip, nodding as I turn to him. "Did you mean it what you said last night?"

A part of me thought that he won't remember it because at first, he frowns but then the realisation hits him what I'm referring to and he sighs, nodding at me. "Of course, Lil. Every damn word."

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes as I look up to meet his emerald ones, staring at me with a little worry, "I want to have it, I want to have this baby, James."

"Yeah?" His lips slowly pull into a huge grin, surprising me. "Sure?"

I nod, a few tears leaving me as I take in a shaky breath, "Yeah, I have wanted to say that since the moment I found out, I was just so afraid."

"Oh, love. There's nothing to be afraid of. We got this, alright?"

"Time to be a father, Mr. Clark." I whisper, brushing my lips against his. 

"Can't wait, Mrs. Clark." He kisses me.

•••

sooo, thoughts?

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