It was his first official date with Lisa and he's never been more nervous, despite the confident front he's been putting on. Perhaps he wants to appear the most charming and handsome in all his life. Everything needs to be perfect. He had been telling himself this as he spent more than one hour in his bathroom, talking to himself in the mirror and practicing other words of encouragement. 

There's a certain kind of desperation here, unlike anything he has ever experienced. Habits that needed to be hushed a little and topics that requires a little refinement in order to not bore her. He knew it's quite impossible to run out of things to say with her but he still think it's worth being prepared for. It's quite an amusing spectacle (if anyone were to witness it) since he had already spent a lot of times with the girl before!

But this is not like those times, where everything went by spontaneously. This is a pre-determined event that he had practically begged for, so he has to make it as perfect as how he had cockily imagined. This is when he gets to put on his best clothes, spray his finest cologne, and combed his hair more than 20 times. Even if it's just over breakfast.

Jungkook froze the moment he saw her walking out from the lobby. He had seen her in a lot of states before, yet it still amazes him how she could take his breath away every single time. She was wearing a tight, hugging pants with a cropped blouse which revealed her toned abs - casual but enough to blow his mind away. Her hips swayed along her long strides, and her shoulder-length hair bounced to a rhythm much slower than his heart beat. 

"What?" Lips of strawberry red pouts when she got in the car with him. 

He shook his head slightly to regain his composure...and charms. "You look beautiful...as always,"

She looked down shyly to her fingers - fidgeting with the strap of her handbag. "Thank you," Her rosy cheeks glowed even more up close. "Since you've seen me at my worst, I thought there's no point in trying anymore,"

Seriously, that's her worst? Well, sign me up for a lifetime then! "You really don't have to try hard to impress me. And I told you...you can always make it up to me by adding more dates,"

He laughed when she squints her eyes. "Play your cards right and I just might," 

Damn, that's hot! Okay...chill...I can do this. I can pull off a perfect breakfast date...right?

...

Only 2 days of being bed-ridden and looked after by Jungkook, and Lisa's already used to his presence. Waking up feeling like herself again this Sunday morning, she updated him on how well she felt and insisted on going for that breakfast. It's the most she could do to repay him back for the kindness...and also, to see him again. Her appetite was back and she simply can't wait to come out without looking like a complete exhaustion.

Yes...she had put quite an effort to dress down earlier. Lisa had changed from 6 summer dresses to this final crop top and pants to not appear too excited. Even if that's exactly how she feels. How could she not? It's her first time of feeling the butterflies again after 6 years, it's perfectly understandable, right?

"So...where are we going?" She asked, trying to distract herself from drooling over his side profile. 

His hair is extra sleek today, with a few stray excess wilting on his forehead. It matches the pair of nice black jeans and a long-sleeved, dark brown jumper. Simple...yet still as handsome as always.

"It's a surprise," Jungkook smiled, with his eyes still fixed on the road.

"Not a big fan of surprises though," 

"Just to play my cards right here, it's a country club. That's all you're getting,"

"Uuu...did you choose a fancy place cus you think it'll add extra points?"

"Yes...I'm trying really hard, in case you failed to notice. Plus, you just recovered...so you could use the fresh air," 

"I like how much thought you put into our breakfast. Well done, Jungkook..." She noticed him glancing briefly. "For now," And she smirked.

...

The early morning birds chirping added music to the lounge setting of the open-space clubhouse. Every so often, the sound of laughters will add to the ambiance...but neither of them could take their attention away from each other. Just like the evening they had spent at the wedding, his warm-hearted gazes and quick-witted demeanour managed to silence the world around her - mesmerizing her to a point that she had forgotten what she ordered.

They've been exchanging nervous glances since the plates were served. Her Smoked Salmon Bagel looked dry and so, so dead in between the doughs and his 'Big Breakfast' looked the exact opposite of 'big'. As he sighed heavily, she watched the disappointment and annoyance rising on his face.

"Should I...try cutting it first -" She saw the hint of smile at the corner of his lips as she brought up the fork and knife. "Maybe it tastes better...than it looks," She tried slicing the bagel...pausing...and slicing - okay, so maybe it's a little hard -

"Let's just order something else -" He puts his hand up to call for a service.

"Done!" She squeaked, looking happily down at the not-so-impressive meal. She held it up and took a bite. "Mmm..."

Her cheeks puffed as she chews on it. Her eyes had gotten bigger and he could probably tell that it was an act to convince him that it's edible. He's not buying it, clearly.

"I mean..." Damn...it really took a whole lot of efforts to swallow - how did they make the bagel?? "I can understand when they said...why they marked it...as their specialty," She continued in between chewing.

She could tell that Jungkook is suppressing his urge to laugh. It's better than him being upset at himself! I won't let this rock-hard bagel ruin the mood! When she picks it up to have another bite, he stopped her.

"Don't eat more, please. I feel like crying just by watching you," He sighed again. "Let's just order something else...or maybe go someplace else,"

"Oh...but I like this place! It really makes me feel healthy...with all these fresh air - oh look! Golf carts! I can already feel my energy pumping!" She teased.

Lisa had been subtly pointing out that he didn't have to bring her to such a fancy place but he kept insisting that it's what she deserves. She eventually gave it a benefit-of-the-doubt, even if it's not her style to begin with. And it's only because she could see how nervous he seemed. Or perhaps tired. 

It only dawned on her when she got to look at him fully, once they got out of the car. The bags under his eyes are barely visible, but it's there. She realized then that despite being in her house from 8 in the morning until 10 at night for the past 2 days, she hadn't asked if he's had enough rest. She didn't think that he would return to work after leaving her place with that particular remark he gave about his staff not burning his place down!

"I'm sorry...a friend said that it's a good place for a calm breakfast and I just figured..." His words trailed off and Lisa can't help but find him being cute as hell with that small pout on his face. "It's our first date...I mean, I wanna make all our dates perfect but the first one should be...it should be..." 

Is sensitive the new sexy? Because I'm so into it, right this second! 

"The reason I agreed to go on a date wasn't because I expected a grand gesture from you, Jungkook-ssi," 

His eyes widened - probably surprised at the sudden formal call of his name. 

"I'm pretty sure wherever you bring me to, I'd have fun regardless," Is that sweet enough to break that disappointment on his face? I hope so but just in case he didn't get it, "I hadn't given you enough credits...but you should know that I feel happy whenever we meet," A smile began curving up his lips. Okay...maybe it's too cringey? "Even when I was an invalid,"

"You...do?"

"Yes...so don't overthink this and stop with the pouting. You looked too cute...I'm supposed to be the cute one here," She said a-matter-of-factly, forcing one more bite of the hard dough into her mouth.

...

"You called me cute. I mean...how can I eat anything now - I think my chest is about to explode," 

She giggled harder as his palm splayed firmly on his chest. It is not a drill, he really do feel like it's expanding by the second!

"I'd say you don't know what you just signed up for," The smirk only speeds up the process. "But just a friendly warning, nothing is as beautiful as you pictured it to be, you know,"

Now why would she say that? The way I pictured her before is not even close to how beautiful she is now so, "I mean...in every little actions that you probably didn't notice, I noticed it. For example, I could just say 'go out with me' and you wouldn't find it appealing to hear -"

"It's direct. And it sure saves a lot of time,"

"Even so, there's a beauty in a little story-telling, isn't there? That's why I write music, anyway. Feelings are complicated...and life's not supposed to be simple. If you get from point A to Z within a single step, there won't be any experiences...you won't know what you like or don't like, and you won't really know if it's even a life that you're living,"

She sighed a small smile. "I know that..." 

"If I told you I was the club owner the second I came into the room that night, I don't think we'd even be here. You won't spare me a second glance, just like in the other times when you didn't,"

"Of course not - I don't just stare at every living thing around me," Her cheeks blushed pink and his hand itches to touch them.

"That's what I mean. I could maybe write five different songs from those four minutes alone. Five different stories, five different melodies - and they would all resemble how I felt in those four seconds. It's not about time for me. I'd even buy more time if I could,"

"Again, you're so good with words..."

"Well, you're a great muse," 

"What's your story anyway? How do you get to be so wise and so...Jungkook?"

He chuckled when she leans back, squinting her eyes as if she's targeting him in a spotlight. "Now I'm wise too? This is amazing - my CV keeps getting upgraded!" She giggled hard, covering her mouth and looking so adorable that his heart melts for the umpteenth time. 

He lets her regain her composure - all the while watching her with a stupid grin on his face. It's a confusing state - a mixture of warmth yet still having that unsettling feeling spreading through his body. Lisa, with her unpredictabilities, kept being successful at making him nervous. He could make her laugh so hard, yet she will still come out with her doubts.

"I don't have a tragic story to tell, unfortunately," He leans forward and crossed his arms on the table. "Very normal. A basic kid from Busan with all the positivities to make something out of himself. My parents are super supportive, that's one. My mom is this bright, amazing woman who never failed at giving me all these advices to keep my head up. What's meant for me will come, that's what she always said. I guess having her encouragement...and me hustling on my own in this city made me...well, Jungkook,"

"So you have the perfect life..."

"I don't think anyone's life's are ever perfect. The most tragic thing that I could tell you is that I almost didn't make it out to this world alive. My mom told me that when I was sixteen years old...when I told her I wanted to move to the city and make music,"

Her eyes had gotten bigger, as if she's shocked or terrified to hear it. "Were you sick? Was there a problem when she was carrying you?"

"Let's save that story for another time. We have all the time in the world, right?"

She sighed a smile and nodded.

"She cried and cried...thinking that it'll be the second time she'd be losing her son. But in all honesty, it's not my story. It's hers. I had a lot of downfalls before but I guess...I don't really carry others' stories. I promised her that I'll live the best way that I can so she won't have to worry ever again. Of course I've encountered issues with other people or they might've had issues with me - but maybe my perspectives made the difference,"

"And what would your perspective be if you're ever in my shoes, being left at the altar?" She leaned forward with a challenge.

Jungkook took his time to think of his answer. He thought of his similar worst-case scenario, that being with Sana. 2 days of self-loathing...the next 3 to getting used to the break up...2 weeks of self-depreciating and by the third, he'd came to acceptance. Work helps, most of the time. But it's not even close to what she'd been through. He had his doubts on the proposal, for one. What would I have done if it's someone I truly love...whom I'm confidently ready to spend my whole life with?

"I'd probably do worst than you," Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. "I'd lock myself up - wallowing in the misery - and I wouldn't even have thought about moving some place else. I'd just suck it up until time gets me through. Until I get better. But I'd hate that girl so much for breaking me that I'll probably find a way to get back at her,"

"But you didn't get back at your ex, right? The one you saved up for your proposal?"

"I think...I kinda did. By not giving her any more space in my time, heart or mind, I think that's the best revenge to be honest," He wasn't going to just come clean about the fact that the only reason why he thought of proposing was because Sana wanted him to - what will Lisa think of him?

"I've heard it before...though it's kinda easier said than done, it seems. These sayings...you only read about it but like you said, feelings are complicated. You're actually the first person that I've ever met to be actioning on it,"

"Lisa," He leaned closer. Would it be too much if I hold her hand? Damn this table for separating us! "We all try our best for ourselves. I think you'll understand what I mean if you give it a try," 

...

After leaving their God-awful breakfast barely touched, they walked through the path surrounded by high trees around the country club. The wind is gentle on her skin and his palm is warm against hers. Her heart's been fluttering like a child receiving her first ever Valentine's card. She hopes he didn't feel the awkward, excited tremble since he first held it.

"So...dancing..." He muttered, making her laugh upon being reminded of it. 

"What - do you keep a book of everything I've said?" 

"You said we're keeping that for our date! But hey, you just gave me an idea - maybe I should have a notebook in my pocket since it's eight more dates to go,"

"How did six got to nine? You're just making up the numbers now!" She chuckled and her other hand unconsciously came up to playfully slap on his hard shoulder. 

"You were sick...you just didn't remember - aigooo..." He pretends to reach a palm up to her forehead. "I said twelve...where did you get nine? You feeling okay? Should we head back and cover you with a blanket?"

"Twelve, hah! Listen - why don't you just pick a number now and stick by it? I have a good memory, I can keep it for you," 

She pursed her lips to tease but he ignored her and continue, "Your cheeks are pink - maybe your temperature is up again cus you didn't hear me right. I said four thousand -"

Lisa began to laugh hard that her 'pink' cheeks are starting to hurt. 

"Four thousand, three hundred and eighty," He continues. "If you still like me then, we'll extend it. Final figure,"

"Still?? Bold of you to think that I already like you,"

"Um...I don't wanna be presumptuous here but..." He held their hand up, proving his point. "You didn't mind this,"

Damn it!! "Four thousand - that's what..." She began calculating, just to ignore that smirk and the second-hand embarrassment. "Ten...eleven years and -"

"Twelve years exactly - now I know you're not good with calculations,"

Ugh - why did he had to point everything out??

"Don't worry, that's why destiny brought us together,"

"Cus you're good at math and I'm not?"

"Yep, that's exactly it!!" 

She rolled her eyes and continue walking - ignoring the urge to just leap up and kiss that smart-mouth of his until he has nothing left to say but just a stuttering 'thank you'. "Why twelve years though?" Stop thinking bout his lips...stop thinking -

"You'll be 35 after twelve years and by then, you'd think twice about not going on dates with me anymore cus hey, I don't wanna brag, but I'm super great to go on dates with, you know? You'll be so used to going out with me that you'll end up thinking...'I'm already 35 years old...where can I find another Jungkook who's so great at taking me out - making me laugh so much over coffee -"

"And stale bagels,"

"I was getting there," He squinted his eyes. "And stale bagels? No one could ever top that -"

"Your confidence is, although plausible, quite amusing, you must know that,"

"I'll take it as a compliment! So, dancing!"

She giggled a little before answering, "Yes, it used to be a passion," Briefly, the flashes of distant memories in the dance studios passed through her mind. "I've been dancing since I was little. My mom sent me into classes...I joined a few contests...won those few -"

She heard the slight 'woah' but focused to her front. "And?"

"And...I opened up a studio. But I started closed it down at twenty,"

"Why?"

"Cus my ex started talking about future plans...and that plan includes making me look good to his family,"

"I don't understand - what does that have to do with you dancing?" 

She pursed a smile, recalling that same question that she had when he asked her to quit the studio. "His family..." How do I say this? "You know how you have chaebols here?" He nodded, still with a small frown. "Well, his family's kinda like that in Thailand. They have these things that they paid super close attention to, which are public opinions and reputation. Since he's one of the heir of the business, they won't want his future wife to be seen as 'just a dancer',"

He slowly nodded, as if trying to understand. "Well I guess they didn't think of their respectable reputation when their son ditch the wedding. Chaebol or not, you're the one who showed up. You kept your promise...and anyone who's not stupid enough will respect you much more for that. Trust me, I'm the public opinion," 

Lisa stopped her tracks and turned to him. It's actually a fair point that she hadn't thought before. I guess too much self-assessment makes you forget of these important points, huh? All these while, her thoughts were filled with 'what could she have done better' and those harsh words or actions aimed towards her family. 

"No one should put you in a position where you have to choose between the things that you love. I was asked to choose...the club or my ex," 

She knew she should have seen it coming in all those times and that was the first big sign. Instead, she took the cold, blistering shower - sacrificing along the pretence of his so-called love-declaration. Why didn't I think of this when I was nineteen? Ah yes, I was too naive, they said.

"I figured that I shouldn't have to sacrifice between my dream or my love. I guess I'm greedy that way - I want them both. And if my love is incapable of understanding how important my dream was, then how will I be assured that these thicks-and-thins will keep us happy?"

My love...it sounded so wonderful when he said it. Marriage or my passion...why can't I have both too? There are no heartbreak found in his eyes. It puts her in a sort of trance - an awe, if you could call it. He wasn't looking to be consoled. Everything that he has done...the efforts he's put in, was made in pure conscience. And it's damn sexy, it could even be addictive!

"You should stop staring at me like that," He whispered, eyes locked on her. 

"Why?"

"Because..." He breathed, taking one step closer to face her. "I'm always the weaker one between the two of us,"

What? "I think you're mistaken, Jungkook-ssi. You've always been the wiser...and charming one since we've met,"

"Only because you didn't see what I see. And..." He took one more step, and their faces are only inches apart. "Those are not the opposites of 'weak',"

He was giving her a playful look. The slight grin looked like he was just waiting for her to make the move. There's a small part in her that's asking her feet to touch back down to Earth...into the reality she had planted since she left home. But the way he stares down at her made her mouth dry. Why can't I stay here...and go wherever he takes me to? Why can't I have both?

Mustering her courage for the first time in a long time, she reached up and caress his face - from his eyebrow, down along his jaw and to his chin. She heard his sharp gasp for air when she ran the tip of her thumb along his lips. It made her feel amazing, that she could affect him by such a simple touch. This cheeky, smart-mouth that's always so good with words...

The remaining space between them disappeared when she kissed him. She might still not understand why it felt intensely right or how far this first step will take her, but it feels incredible. His hand that was holding to hers tightened before his arm circling around her waist, and the other found its way to her neck - coaxing her with such need and fragility. The gentle brushes on their lips causes ripples of longing, shivering through her body.

No doubts. No persuasions. All at once, she allows herself the chance to try again.

...