Chapter Four

I Really Don’t Like These Vampires Any More Than My Own

From: The Casquette Girls by Alys Arden

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. Sixteen year-old Adele Le Moyne, wearing braided pigtails, none the less! I really do not want to be sixteen again. Adele was tricked into thinking she was going to a sleepover, but instead was out at a bar. So here I was dressed like jailbait – or should I say vampire bait – after curfew in an underground New Orleans bar filled with vampires! Alys, what have you done to me?

New Orleans jazz suddenly blasted off the tiled walls of the ladies’ room as the door swung open. A girl walked in who looked about my age – make that Adele’s age – wearing a tight black dress and heels. She looked at me as if she wanted to smack me a couple of times, and I don’t even know her!

“Adele, what do you think you’re doing?” she asked me, hands firmly placed on hips. “Hiding out all night in the ladies’ room is not part of the deal!”

My mind spun as I tried to sort through possibilities. “Désirée?” I finally suggested.

“Oh, very good!” The girl replied. “Now you’re going to try playing stupid? Well it’s not going to work. I knew you were stupid before I brought you here!”

Yup, it’s Désirée. Alys, couldn’t you give me just one snappy comeback to match her, in the entire book?

Désirée continued to berate me while shoving me toward the door. “If you don’t get back out there, Annabelle is going to so have it in for you. And I don’t want to get caught in the middle.”

I turned and faced Désirée, stopping her relentless advance toward the bathroom door.

“Désirée, I would love to go out there, and play the humiliate-the-new-girl game. I really would! I’d love to have people laugh at me tomorrow and say how they loved my Hello Kitty jammies and bunny slippers, IF that was the worst that was going to happen! But before we do that I’ve got to ask, how far have you read into this book?”

 “Excuse me?” said Désirée pretentiously.

“Désirée, everybody out there is a vampire, okay? You all think you’re fighting over hot guys, when all the while they’re fighting over hot lunches! And by that I mean you and me!”

Désirée appeared to consider what I had said. Then with one hand firmly planted on my chest she shoved me through the door. “You’re not all that hot, Adele.”

In case you’re not familiar with the story, Désirée is actually my best friend. ‘In an incredibly dysfunctional friendship’ goes without saying. She is actually the reason why I am in fact not dressed in Hello Kitty jammies and bunny slippers. No, she came over to my house to make sure I was dressed like Pippy Longstocking after she turned to prostitution. This is considered a favor in Désirée’s books.

Désirée led me out to the middle of the room, then backed away. With her hands held out toward me she said, “Now stay! Staa-ay! Good girl!” Terrific. Now Désirée thinks she can train me like a dog. Désirée left to join her friends at the back, and I’m left standing here, looking like both Lady and the Tramp.

I looked around at the other patrons of this underground bar – Le Chat Noir, from the story. I seemed to be the center of attention as almost everyone present was looking at me. I really had no idea why – I’m not all that interesting.

“Forget this!” I finally said, as the unwanted attention seemed to just grow. “I am so out of here!”

I spun around to head for the exit, but fell back when I almost ran straight into – a mime? Seriously Alys Arden, now I need to deal with a mime in an illegal underground vampire tavern?

Everyone burst into laughter and applause as I stumbled back from the near collision. Oh, very funny! Note, that was sarcasm. The mime has apparently been building an invisible brick wall behind me.

I tried a few times to get past the man, but he insisted on obstructing the way. He would hold up his hands, then gesture to the length and height of the wall. He finally offered to boost me over, and I actually agreed! It seemed the only way to get out of this. But as soon as I had passed the non-existent brick wall, he ran in front of me to demonstrate a rope blocking the way! Everyone laughed uproariously as he gestured that I should wait while he pulled the long rope out of the way.

I thought this might never end, when the band finished the jazz tune they had been playing and struck up a tango. The mime’s eyes lit up with excitement. He threw down the invisible rope and then ran about, pushing all the standing patrons from the center of the room, creating a dance floor. Then he returned to me and held out his hand…

“Not a chance, Marcel Marceau. Find yourself another dance partner!” I said as I took off at a run for the back door.

But he was faster than me. Grabbing both my hands from behind, he deftly lifted my left hand and spun me around into his arms. Holding me close against his body and looking into my eyes he marched me backward across the floor in time to the tango. Then as we reached the edge of the dance floor he turned and threw me into a spin back in the direction from which we had come.

When I came to a stop I was more determined than ever to get past this guy. I ran at him and leapt but he caught me in mid air, using my momentum to hold me aloft. Then with the slightest flip he turned me over and dropped me…

And caught me, cradling me in his arms, spinning several times before setting me on the floor and then spinning me again by one arm. By the time he stopped and I tried to stand I was so dizzy I fell to one knee, with my other leg stretched uselessly behind me. He dragged me in this position for a while and then lifted me to my feet, holding me tight against him once again, spinning me against his body in time to the music as he moved around the outside edge of the dance floor.

“You don’t understand!” I yelled to him as my mouth spun past his ear. Each spin I tried to warn him…

“We’re in great…”

“danger!”

“You’ve got to…”

“listen to me!”

“Everyone in this…”

“place is a vampire!”

Now why was the tavern suddenly so quiet? And why was everyone suddenly looking at me so strangely? Oh, right. The music stopped, and everyone heard me shouting that last bit. Nice timing.

One of the vampires stood, and approached me looking very unhappy. “How long have you known about us?”

Oh, right. Adele didn’t know about the vampires at this point in the story. And she’d kinda avoided ticking them off until now as well. Until I opened my big mouth, that is.

I looked to the mime for potential support. He just grinned – a big, toothy, fang-filled grin. I carefully extricated myself from his embrace. Looking up quickly past the vampires I pointed to the back door.

“Look! It’s Kate Beckinsale!” I yelled.

All the vampires turned, and I didn’t waste a millisecond before running to the stairway. I was up the stairs and out the first floor door before you could say ‘Underworld’. Then I grabbed a chair and shoved it under the doorknob.

“Hehehe, I can’t believe they fell for that,” I said and spun toward the front door, bumping into some old guy.

“Adele, what do you think you’re doing, out at this hour and dressed like that?” he scolded me as if I was a disobedient teenager. Oh yeah, maybe that’s exactly what I was. “And take that chair down right now. You know the fire code requires this exit be open and free of obstruction at all times!”

I figured this one out all on my own. Mac Le Moyne, Adele’s father and owner of Le Chat Noir. But I was in no mood for his style of tough love parenting.

“You want to lecture me?” I said, standing my ground. “You, the guy running an illegal basement speakeasy for bloodsucking vampires, and you want to complain to me about fire code violations?”

“Adele, this is the last straw! You’re going back to Paris on the next flight out of here!”

“Hey Dad,” I said to the guy as I made my way to the front door. “A free trip to Paris sounds great right now. I would take that deal in a minute, if I thought we had that long to live. But seeing as anyone standing in this room will likely be dead in about thirty seconds, I am outa here. A la prochaine, mon père!”

I ran out the front door and into the street, trying to ignore the screams suddenly arising from behind me at Le Chat Noir. I felt kind of bad for Adele’s father. And Désirée, and Annabelle. And any other actual humans who might have been in there who would have survived in the original scene as written by Alys. But they would all be back the next time someone read the story. Probably. Me, I couldn’t be sure of.

I ran down the cobblestone road, the lamp light making the bricks appear to be a pale yellow. The lights were incredibly dim around the bar, but the further I ran the brighter they seemed to become. Until they were too bright. This made no sense. It was as bright as daylight, and the bricks in the road were a vivid, sunny yellow…

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A/N:  This is my first attempt ever at choreography. In a story or otherwise. I hope you got the idea of what I was doing!

I wanted to post a video of an actual tango, but came across the video at the side which I thought fit perfectly with the story!

Please vote if this made you laugh "^_^"