[SEASON 1 EPISODE 1]

Our family wasn't like all of the other families we showed our affection differently, my family consisted my nerdy brother Adam who recorded everything with a camera, my father Murray Goldberg who spent all of his time sat on his chair and yelling at us kids, my twin sister Erica who let's say didn't like to speak to any of us, my dramatic brother Barry and finally my other bearing mother Beverly Goldberg.

Were the family who yelled and cursed but we still loved each other. Today it was September 3rd it began as a typical morning in our house, my mom and my sister arguing in the kitchen Adam needing help from my mom. As always, my mom began the day by dressing us which most of us had to fight to get away from her, feeding us and ironing any sense of human boundaries which included walking in on us in shower. Today it's Barry's birthday which meant he was in a good mood because he was turning 16 so we all sat around the dinner table for breakfast. He had been waiting for this day all of his life.

As me and Erica sat at the counter watching my mom walked over to Barry with a present "it's jingling" Barry said sounding happy but trust me he wouldn't be my mom would find some way of ruining it for him by including herself in some "it's keys! Keys mean car! Car means freedom from all you monsters!" Barry said sounding excited "rude" I said as I huffed "I love you mom" Barry said as he began to unwrap the gift but I knew he would be speaking to soon. As he opened the box I began to laugh "What the hell is this?" Barry asked sounding annoyed "it's a locket. It's got my picture inside so you can always have your mother near you heart." Mom said which seemed to annoy Barry.

"Ha ha you got a necklace" I said laughing as me and my sister looked at each other before laughing again "Sweetie, you're just not ready to drive. You're too immature, and quite honestly, a little high strung." Mom said as Barry hot been angrier "I'm a not high strung, I'm strung just fine, like a tennis racket or a banjo. I" Barry said before Erica got of her chair and began to speak "You know, I think it's great cause all the cool guys in my grade, they have mom lockets" Erica said trying not to laugh which I was doing myself "Hey!" Barry said shouting at Erica "Don't poke the bear alright" Barry said as me and Erica walked away laughing.

Later on we all headed outside because Pop had arrived he was my grandfather "nice car pops" I said as I looked at his car in amazement "I hear someone turned 16 and could use a new car." Pop said as he leant against the car "Holy crap! For me?" Barry said thinking the car was for him "as if" I said as I chuckled "I don't love you that much. This baby's mine. You get my old one." Pop said which annoyed Erica and me "we didn't get a car when we turned 16" I said in a huff "What do you girls need a car for? With your looks, you can get a ride from any body in town." Pop said trying flatter us "True" I said as Pop passed Barry a set of car keys "Here you go." Pop said those keys meant freedom for Barry but my mom would stop that.

She caught the keys before Barry had the chance to "Not gonna happen, Dad. We've decided Barry can't drive." Mom said "bad luck Barry" I said as a car pulled up outside our house "and here's my ride" I said as I began to walk down the drive "and where do you think your going" Mom asked as everyone looked at me "out see you" I said as I began to run to Chases car and jumped in "go go" I said as he quickly drove away. "Thankyou for saving me" I said as Chase chuckled "no problem what was going on" Chase asked "oh my mom won't let Barry drive" I said as Chase rolled his eyes "what?" I asked "Well I know your brother and I wouldn't let him ride a bike let alone drive a car" I said nodding my head.

I spent most of the day with Chase to avoid having to go home and listen to my family, sorry I forgot to mention Chase is my boyfriend, high school quarterback, the most popular boy in school and of course the most attractive. I had tried to shield him from my family but not taking him home however my mom found a way by following us and he learnt the extent of how crazy my family is well not everything. However when I headed home I found out my brothers and grandfather had been arrested. As we all stood in the driveway Pops car had been brought back to the house "the poor car" I said looking at it I was hoping Pop would let me drive it because I had got my licence "I'm, telling you, it wasn't my fault. The next my mom took pops keys too "I'm not one of your kids Bev you can't boss me around, I do the bossing!" Pop said getting annoyed with my mom.

"Dad, I'm just trying to help you. Your mind is not what it used to be." Mom said and as always our neighbours came out to watch because we were seen as the comedy family of the street "bye I'm going inside" I said as I walked away I had a reputation at school and my family seemed to be ruining it piece by piece. Hiding in my room away from my family until my sister walked in "honestly this family is going to be the death of me" I said as I laid on my bed looking at the ceiling "I know my reputation" Erica said as I scoffed "what reputation I'm head cheerleader and my boyfriend is the quarterback" I said as I turned away.

Later on that day my dad took out my brothers for Barry to drive but that ended in disaster which was to be expected. Pop took Adam out to the diner and my mom embarrassed him infront of a waitress who Adam had a crush on. But Barry finally got his way and was allowed to drive but for how long that's the question.
End Of Chapter 1