Emily Rudd as Eliza Banner

"For any question, there's always a textbook or an eighties song with the answer."

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Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner

"Get yourself a Ph.D., shortie, and then we'll talk."

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Madeleine Hasson as Mandy Johnson

"You can never have too many of the three Bs: beanies, boys, and Blockbuster rentals."

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Nolan Gerard as Jackson Donahue

"We're all actors, aren't we? And it's not just on a stage."

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Luke Hemmings as Chad Markis

"I'd jump in front of a train, but then I'd feel bad about the mess."

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Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury

"One of the Banners turns green when angered and the other hops around like the Easter Bunny 24/7. And no, I don't know which one I like more."

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Scarlet Johansson as Natasha Romanoff

"You want me to turn a Disney princess into a government spy? Cute, Fury, really cute."

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Special appearances by

Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill
Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark
Chris Hemsworth as Thor Odinson
Tom Hiddleston as Loki Laufeyson

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"Hurting Eliza Banner is like stepping on a flower or kicking a puppy. You just don't do it."