Early afternoon, Boston Public Square. Snow on the ground.

(Figgins is riding his Segway to the public square wearing his furry boots, and sipping his iced chai latte. Eli is walking briskly to the side of him trying to keep up with the Segway's motorized pace. They arrive at the public square and a crowd has already formed around the two groups of men, the British soldiers and the Sons of Liberty.)

(The crowd is enthusiastic and loud. One can feel the hostile tension in the air. The crowd is talking amongst themselves, while the two groups gaze at each other with deadly and venomous stares.)

Patrick Henry (opens his mouth and makes a demand to the crowd) - "SILENCE!"

(The crowd obeys and instantly goes silent.)

Patrick Henry - "Well, well, well, I must admit...I always thought the British were a bunch of idiots, but I never would have ever imagined that they would be THIS idiotic to dare to step foot in our great city again!"

The crowd (shouts) - "OHHHHH!!!! Burn!"

Patrick Henry (pointing to one of the British soldiers) - "Yo momma is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make-up her mind."

The crowd - "Ohhhh Shit!!!"

Patrick Henry (pointing to another British soldier) - "Yo momma is so classless, she is a Marxist's utopia!"

The crowd (cheering) - "Ohhhhh! Damn!"

(Patrick Henry then walks up to the lead British General, and gets extremely close to his face. So close, that his lips are practically touching the General's lips.)

Patrick Henry (to the British General) - "And yo momma is soooo ugly..." (turns to the crowd and cups his ear with his hand, encouraging crowd participation.)

The crowd (enthusiastic) - "How ugly is she!?"

Patrick Henry (turns back to the General) - "Yo momma is so ugly, that when she was born, the doctor had to put her in a bucket of water to see which end would come up for air."

(The crowd erupts in laughter and excitement. The British General is furious and shoves Patrick Henry. A shoving match between both parties ensues.)

(The Boston citizens begin throwing snowballs and shoes at the British soldiers. Then many begin to throw stones, causing serious damage.)

(The British soldiers are in a state of panic as the angry mob continues to hurl rocks at them, putting them in a high stress and dangerous situation. In a state of fear, the British soldiers begin to shoot their rifles into the crowd attempting to defend themselves and stop the hysteria and their bullets penetrate several citizens.)

(Screams echo through the streets of Boston as mass terror takes hold of the colony. Level-headed individuals begin to break up the fighting and check on the victims who were shot by the British soldiers. They observe those individuals and after examination; three are proclaimed dead, while two are wounded.)

Samuel Adams (shouting) - "Get these two wounded men to the hospital at once! And get these three dead men into their finest suits and then bury them at once. Quickly men! Quickly!"

(Members of the Sons of Liberty do as they are commanded.)

Patrick Henry (points to the British soldiers and yells out) - "Shame!"

(Samuel Adams spots Eli in the crowd and aggressively approaches him. He gets right in Eli's face.)

Samuel Adams - "Look at what you caused, you should be ashamed of yourself." (he looks Eli up and down, and then spits on Eli's new boots.)

(Eli is furious, he shoves Samuel Adams. Benjamin quickly grabs Eli so that he doesn't do something that he will regret. Figgins rides over on his Segway.)

Figgins (crying out) - "Men! We are all Sons of Liberty. Do not let this tragedy tear us apart. We should be fighting the opposition, not each other."

(Patrick Henry strolls over and places his arm over Figgins' shoulders.)

Patrick Henry - "As my best friend just stated so elegantly, us Sons must stick together. And don't you worry, oh don't you worry... The British will definitely pay for this...Ohhh yes, the British most definitely will pay for this massacre, I promise you that."

Figgins (interjects) - "How much are we charging them Sir Patrick Henry? And are we going to charge interest?"

Patrick Henry - "My good ole chap Figgins, it pains me to say that money will not be the way to remedy this situation. No, us Sons will get our revenge for this heinous deed in a different manner. We must do it for the people of Boston, we are their saviors!"

(Patrick Henry rubs his hands together in an unscrupulous manner.)

Figgins - "I agree, but let us still send them a bill. I love money and the British have fat pockets. Their pockets are so fat, that the nutritionist has recommended that their pockets go on a low-carb diet...immediately!"

(Eli sprints over to Virginia, Virginia is in a feverish state. She hugs Eli.)

Virginia - "OMG Eli I am so happy that you are safe! I heard gunshots and I was so worried about you." (She wipes her tears on Eli's shoulder.)

Eli - "I'm fine, don't worry, I'm here now. Oh by the way, when do you babysit the Adams's children again? Do you mind if I help out and stop by for a little?"

Virginia (ecstatic) - "Of course you can! You need preparation and practice for when we have a family. I babysit tomorrow at 7. You better be there!"

Eli - "Perfect! I will see you there. Muahhahahahaha! Muahahahahaha!"

Virginia (confused) - "What is so funny?"

Eli - "Nothing, I just thought of a hilarious joke."

Virginia - "I like jokes, what is the joke?"

Eli (trying to think of an excuse) - "Um...You had to be there, you won't get it."

Virginia (annoyed) - "Just tell me."

(Eli not having a joke in mind, does the next best thing, he farts.)

Virginia (repulsed) - "OMG!! It smells like something died."

Eli - "Three people just did! Fuck! Have some respect."

(Virginia vomits from the smell.)

(Figgins rides over on his Segway and gets a whiff of the smell.)

Figgins (exclaims) - "Oh my heavens! Who ripped ass?! The smell is absolutely heinous! It smells as if it came from the deepest pits of hell. It smells as if the fart came directly out of Satan's own asshole!" (he vomits from the smell as well.)