At the Sons of Liberty's secret meeting..

(Samuel Adams is on the stage.)

Samuel Adams (to the members and invitees) - "I do not know about all of you, but I am completely fed up with these damn British Soldiers roaming our beautiful streets and telling me my beer taste like trash! I'll show them trash, I will take them to the Boston Dump! Aha! Oh yes, they will know what trash is when they feast their eyes on that dump."

The members and invitees (shout in unison) - "Yeah! Fuck Yeah!"

Samuel Adams - "Comrades, it is a pleasure to introduce our fearless leader, Sir Patrick Henry!!!"

(The members and invitees stand on their feet and erupt in cheers. Music begins to play in the background at a loud volume. Patrick Henry begins running through the aisles high-fiving the men as he weaves in and out and passes by each. He makes his way to the stage and is received with a friendly smile and a firm handshake from his dear friend, Samuel Adams.)

Patrick Henry (quiets the crowd) - "Thank you, thank you. You are far too kind gentlemen, but please, please take a seat."

(The members and invitees obey and sit on command.)

Patrick Henry - "Men.... last night after fornicating with my wife and reaching pure ecstacy, I had a prophetic vision... a vision that led me to devise the most perfect, most mischievous of plans." (He rubs his hands together and fiendishly smiles.)

The members and invitees (begging) - "Please tell us the plan!"

Patrick Henry (gives in quickly to the pleading) - "Okay! So the plan is when Lieutenant Scotch and Captain Morgan go to eat lunch at their typical spot, Bangers and Mash, and sit in their typical booths, they will be in for an absolutely dazzling surprise. A dazzling surprise indeed." (Smirks.)

The members and invitees - "How so?"

Patrick Henry (still smiling) - "Glad you ask...so you see, what these two men will be unaware of is the fact that we have placed whoopie cushions underneath the booth. So these two men will unsuspectedly sit down on the booth and be ungratefully greeted by loud sounds resembling repulsive farts. These farts will be immediately credited to them and they will be so embarrassed that they will want to leave town. Men of honor never ever, ever!... Fart in a food establishment of any kind, no matter the amount of fiber in one's meal. No man of honor would ever engage in such buffoonery. The men will be the laughing stock of the colonies. What is even worse is that the waitress with the ample bosom and the large caboose, will be there to bear witness to their massive shame and humiliation. There will be no way for them to deny the farts as their own, because we all know the famous scientific law, Whoever Denied It, Supplied It. Yes! Yes! Yes! They will have to leave Boston! Hip hip! Hooray!"

The members and invitees - "Hip hip! Hooray!"

Benjamin (jumps on table and rips off his shirt in excitement) - "Ameeeeeeeerrrrrrrriiiccccaaaaaa!!!!!! Fuck yeah!!!!"