Inside of Boston's Finest Boots and Shoes

(Eli checks his pocket watch and murmurs to himself) - "Damn I still got 4 more hours of this shit."

(Eli looks to his left and sees Figgins standing in his office with one leg mounted up on a stool, imitating the famous Captain Morgan pose. To Figgins' right hand side is a famous Boston oil painter, painting Figgins in a regal manner.)

(Eli looks out the shop window and sees his girlfriend Virginia walking into Hartbucks to start her shift at work. Eli goes into Figgins' office)

Eli -"The Great Sir Mr. Finley Figgins The Third Sir, I am going to get some tea, I will be back in a few minutes."

Figgins - "Pick me up an iced latte caramel macchiato with organic goat milk from Boston...not any of that imported shit."

Eli - "Got it boss."

Figgins (agitated) - "That is Sir Mr. Boss to you! Now hurry before I lose my temper! Hurry!"

(Eli leaves the shop and slightly jogs across the cobblestone road and then *plop!* Eli looks down in horror as he sees his foot engulfed by a large pile of hot, steamy, fresh brown horse shit.)

Eli (shouts with his arms in the air) - "Oh, fuck me! Sir, you should pick up your horse's shit. Do you have no manners?"

The man (in absolute shock of the sight, raises his hands to his mouth) - "What on God's green earth did you just do!? That needed a minimum of two more hours in the sun, untouched, before it became top level fertilizer. People pay good money for this shit! You just took food out of my children's mouths sir! What is next, you want to take the food out of their stomachs too? Perhaps their intestines!? Have you no limits sir!? You owe me money!"

Eli (appalled) - "Are you fucking kidding me, you owe me money! My boots cost ten times more than this gross shit. Pay me or I will take this matter to court and sue your ass."

The man (crosses his arms and says with a look of disgust) - "Do it then tough guy."

(Eli examines the man's cart and reads the words, "Your Solution Manure: Best Fertilizer in Boston." A light bulb clicks in his mind and Eli knows exactly what to do.)

Eli (confident) - "Sir if you do not pay for my boots, I will go online and leave a terrible and atrocious review about your business."

The man (in sheer terror) -"You would not!?"

Eli (bold) - "Oh yes sir I sure would. Try me, I am a Yelp Elite, you know the damage I could cause you."

The man (fearful of the threat, immediately backs down.) - "It is far too dangerous to test a man wielding that much power. One bad online review and I could lose serious business. My sincerest apologies sir, here is 100 pound for your troubles. I hope you can leave a darling review, much obliged."

(Eli holds his hand out and looks down to gesture to the man for more money. The man pulls out more cash and puts 200 pound in Eli's hand. Eli shakes his head in disapproval. He lays down 300 pound, Eli still shakes his head in disagreement. The man then gives him 400 pound, yet, Eli still says no to the offer. Finally the man hands Eli 500 pound and Eli smiles and accepts the offer.)

Eli -"Expect an outstanding review." (He shakes hands with the man and smiles). "It was a pleasure doing business with you."

(Eli boldly strides into Hartbucks)