Ryan took the first thing that came to his mind in the quiet room and broke the tense silence.

"Funny, Ash, really." he stalked across the room and slapped a hand against the younger boy's back. Ashton propelled forward, dropping his beloved pudding so it splattered against the glistening white tile. A childlike frown made its way to his face.

"Ryan, come on!" Ashton started forward in an effort to retrieve his lost pudding. Collapsing to his knees, he bowed his head as if he were mourning the loss of a relative.

From where I stood, I could see the exhaustion that had worn one of the most energetic boys I'd ever met to the bone. His eyes, though twinkling with a faint amusement, wore dark bags beneath them. His lips had been bitten raw, cuts and blood spots on every inch of his full bottom lip. The time he'd taken to fall to his knees appeared to take the little amount of energy he had left and leave him a depressed mess.

Ryan leaned forward on the balls of his feet and peered down over his friend's dark head of hair. "I'll grab you another one, man. Just stop it with the jokes. You remember how Willow feels about them."

There was a warning tone in Ryan's voice that Ashton picked up without as much as a small indication as to what he was actually getting at.

"Stevie." the weakness in Xander's voice unfurled a tight knot in my stomach.

Turning my attention away from the two boys in the midst of a make up session, I dropped my crossed arms to my sides.

The vulnerability in my best friend's face set a depressed mood throughout the entire room. Someone didn't have to know Xander personally to understand why. If there was something that millions of fans knew as well as I did, it was Alexander Cruise's ability to barricade his emotions somewhere deep down, fearing the consequences of them ever escaping.

"Alex." I whispered.

I forced one foot before the other and crossed the small space between the chair and his bedside. He outstretched his cast-free hand and brushed his index finger along my forearm.

Before I had a chance to comprehend his actions, he pressed my palm against his ashen cheek and closed his eyes. I began to curl my fingers, pausing only for a moment to watch as tears escaped, the warmth puddling against my hand.

"What happened?" he managed to choke out.

I dropped my gaze to my black converse. "You were in an accident."

"My parents." he breathed. "They were in the accident too, right?"

I opened my mouth then forced it shut when I thought back to the order Ryan had given me outside the hospital room.

"Not exactly."

He shook his head slowly. "You look so much older. Why do you look so much older?"

It was in that moment that the realization and antagonizing feeling of the point of no return for Xander had been reached. I couldn't hold my grudges against a boy that no longer knew what he had done. I couldn't hate him for choosing a life he couldn't remember. In the end, the only good that would do was hurt the both of us more.

"I'm seventeen, Alex." I brushed my thumb against his cheek.

He opened his eyes and stared, "That's not possible. Willow. . ." he trailed off, gritting his teeth. "Why can't someone just tell me what the hell is going on?"

My eyes shot to the heart monitor over his shoulder as the beeping became more than a melodic background noise. I winced internally seeing the anger and irritation evident in his eyes.

"You were in an accident, Alexander." I explained quietly. "You are going to have trouble remembering things, and it's in everyone's best interest that we don't overwhelm you with all the information at once."

He hesitated for a few minutes before he answered. "How much did I forget? I remember you, that means something, right?"

His eyes drifted toward his friends in desperation. The right side of Ryan's mouth curled up in a small smile. The Knight's nodded with looks of reassurance.

"Who are they, Stevie? They keep saying they know you but-"

I held up a hand to stop him before he could get worked up. "They do know me, Alex. They know you too."

"Why do they keep hanging around? Why weren't you the first one here? I don't understand why-"

I gently pushed him back against his pillows. "Alex, close your eyes and a take a deep breath. You're working yourself up, calm down. The answer to everything will come soon, okay? It's alright."

Xander took my hand once more and rested it against his chest, eyes fluttering shut. I knew he wasn't asleep, but I could feel his breaths growing heavier under my palm. The second his hand fell limply against the blanket over him, I clenched my hand into a fist over his heart. It wasn't too long after that I felt hands tighten on my shoulder blades comfortingly. I glanced up to find Ryan had taken a permanent position behind me.

'Thank you.' he mouthed. I didn't nod or smile in return. I leaned back until my back was pressed into the uncomfortable plastic chair, and my head had fallen gently against the warmth of Ryan's sweatshirt.

*

"We're going to have to give a speech of some sort." Jack commented. I looked between Ryan and Ashton. Neither of them were pleased with their manager's response to the situation.

"Who gives a shit about the public right now, Jack?" Ryan barked bitterly. "Our friend, our brother, is in a hospital bed right now with absolutely no memory of who we are."

Under different circumstances, I would have applauded Ryan for standing up to my father, but I couldn't deny the fact that Jack was as right as he was.

"He's right." I mumbled. "I mean, I think he is. I understand it from both sides, Ry, but think about the fans too. They want to know just as bad as you did what happened to their precious little star."

I hoped that nobody caught the bitterness that had wormed its way into my voice.

Haiden pushed up from his chair angrily, "What do you expect Xander to do, Jack? Stand on stage in front of millions of people around the world and announce that he has no idea who any of them are? That he has no idea who he is?"

My eyes fell on Mason seated opposite of me, his face buried in his hands. Tired of the conversation around him, he spoke. "This is all bullshit, guys. It's even worse to feel helpless, to not be able to explain anything, to answer his questions. He doesn't even remember us. He doesn't remember me."

A lock of Mason's unruly brown hair fell against his forehead as he jerked suddenly. I could feel a slight ping of guilt knowing that I had exactly what it was that Mase desired; Xander's memories.

Mason's amber eyes redirected themselves to me, lips pursed. "You're the only one that's able to calm him down and you hate him."

"Listen, Mason. I know everyone is looking for someone to blame, someone to lash out on, but you can't do that. I can leave if you think it'll make everything better." I fell back against the roughness of the chair.

He ran a hand through his hair. "You're right. I'm sorry, Willow. I just. . . I feel like someone's tied my hands behind my back. I can't help him and I hate it."

I stared over his shoulder and at the mass of girls outside the hospital. The screams had died down with a great security team to thank, but most still wore a look of confusion and fear.

"I have an idea." Ryan broke the silence, leaning forward with his hands on his knees. "What if we take him a couple places and see if it jogs anything? Like the first stadium we played, that sort of thing."

"That would work," I said, "except your guys' faces are on every billboard sign, magazine, and park bench in the country. Not to mention they'll be thousands of girls following you guys around."

Ashton tapped his fingers along his leg. "You've got a point, but I think Ryan might be on to something. We could see what we could do about a fake news story, get some work done in altering our looks, and keep a few bodyguards on hand just in case. What harm can come from trying?"

I looked toward my father in curiosity, questioning which view he'd be taking on it. I got the feeling he hadn't heard much of our conversation but had been locked somewhere in the back of his own head.

The boys continued conversing, giving me the perfect opportunity to find a way out of this place.

Mason's head whipped up when he heard my chair squeal against the tile. "Where are you going?"

"Home." I rubbed my hands together. "I did what you all asked of me and it looks like you've got everything handled."

Ryan laughed. "You're kidding, right? You aren't going to just leave us, leave him, are you?"

I turned my back to the boys, bowing my head. I didn't need any of them to take into consideration how hard this was on me. I needed them to believe I still didn't care, that I was still reeling in the pain of Xander's betrayal of my trust and friendship.

"I'm sorry, Ryan." I blinked rapidly to force back tears. "Xander just isn't part of my life anymore. Nothing is going to change that." 

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

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~ChasingMadness24