To say Blake wasn't at all happy with my decision was an understatement. He paced the living room for over an hour questioning my sanity. He was reacting just as I thought he would; logically. He was throwing every reason for me not to do this right back in my face.

It wasn't like I hadn't spent all of last week tossing and turning. I had gone back and forth over the entire thing in my head for hours on end. The thoughts continued as I had packed what I thought I'd need for the trip; a trip I hoped would be no more than a weekend.

"Willow, think about this." Blake insisted now, crouching down at my feet. "Alexander hurt you, he broke your heart. Do you want to experience that pain again?"

I pushed my index finger into my temple and began messaging it. "Blake, I'll be fine."

"You'll be rushed by thirteen year old girls at every stop."

"They'll want the boys, not me." I retorted immediately.

It was then, head bowed and my cheeks flushing, my brother finally realized I wasn't going to budge from my decision.

"Please be careful, Willow." Blake rested his hand on my knee. "I don't want to pick up your broken pieces again."

The second I stood, he engulfed me in a bone crushing hug. I dug my nails into his shoulder blades, feeling them relax against my touch. "Promise me you'll be okay."

I shut my eyes and nodded into his chest. "I'll be alright, Blake. I'll be alright."

*

It didn't come as a surprise that the doctors and hospital staff were hesitant in releasing Xander. They pounded their orders into my father's head, and when they were sure he wasn't hearing a word they said, they turned their attention to the boys. By the time the discharge paperwork was in my hand, the boys had already made one thing clear.

We were to not overwhelm him with information under any circumstance.

I decided it was in my best interest to wait in the RV while the boys and Jack signed Xander's release papers. I didn't have any desire to be mauled by fangirls when I was trying to wrap my head around why I had chosen to do this in the first place.

If there was one thing I had to give my father credit for, it was his outstanding ability to hire great security guards. They held the girls back for a good ten minutes while Ryan and Mason helped Xander into the RV. Haiden and Ashton trailed behind, flashing their fans dashing smiles before climbing in after their bandmates.

"Willow." the cold expression on Xander's face faltered at the sight of me in the back of the van.

Realizing every pair of eyes in the RV had fallen on my hunched figure, I waved shyly at him as he fell into one of the small recliner's pushed against the wall opposite of me.

The van purred to life seconds after the door was forced shut. In the blink of an eye, the girls were beside the car, pounding repeatedly on the windows as if it'd get the boys attention. Ryan and Ashton were rolling around in contagious fits of laughter, as if this was far from the first time this has happened.

"Are you two high or something?" Haiden shot the two boys at his right an amused look.

I leaned forward for a better view out the window, gasping when I saw how close some of the girls were to the van. "Wow, wait! You're going to run over their feet!"

My father threw his head back and laughed. "Don't worry, sweetheart. They'll move."

He wasn't wrong. The girls parted and watched after us as the bus sped out of the parking lot. I had just turned my head back toward the boys when Mason fell on to the seat beside me, stretching his arm over my shoulder with groan.

"Freedom." he grumbled. I shrugged his arm off and turned my attention to Xander.

The RV wasn't small by any means, it just wasn't big enough for four crazy, teenage boys. The furniture was set up in a way that reminded me of a dorm room I had visited with my brother at the university; small and surprisingly comforting.

The two recliners in the van, occupied by Xander and Ryan, sat across from where Mason and I sat behind a table half the size of the old oak piece of junk that sat in my dining room. My palm grazed the smooth surface of the table top as I emptied my camera on to it. The boys had become distracted momentarily from me and were watching the small flat screen protruding a bit from the wall above Xander's head.

It was the same story it'd been all week; Xander and the accident. Most of the information was what Jack had released to the public two days ago. He had stated Xander was injured and the band would be postponing the tour for the time being. When asked for further details on the matter, my father had politely told the media to back off and keep their cameras and noses out of where it didn't belong.

"Can someone explain what all those little girls were doing outside the hospital?" Xander whispered, then cleared his throat. "And how they knew my name?"

The boys all exchanged a look, but my eyes had darted toward the front of the RV at the question. My father still had his back to us in the driver's seat, fingers tapping the steering wheel as if he were humming along to a song on the radio. As if he could feel me shooting daggers into the back of his head, he caught my eyes in the rear view and sighed.

"How about we start with you explaining what you do remember?" he suggested. Xander paused, processing the thought.

"I remember bits and pieces of you." Xander's eyes found mine, a weary smile playing on his lips.

I forced one of my own and nodded. "That's great. What exactly do you remember?"

"I remember I didn't have to go far to see you and we were close, really close. I know you like to sing and there's a faint memory of a guitar on your lap, but I don't really know what it means." he whispered.

Mason rubbed my shoulder comfortingly, his eyes on his best friend.

"Is that it?" I wondered aloud after a few minutes of silence.

Xander's cheeks had begun to redden in frustration, his free hand buried in his chocolate brown hair, fingers brushing against the dip-dyed black tips.

"I hate it! I just . . . I can't remember anything!" he growled, slapping his closed fist against his thigh angrily.

Ryan outstretched his hand rested it on Xander's back. "It's okay, man. I know it's frustrating, but you need to calm down."

I was positive I was the only one in the van that realized that those two words were what finally pushed Xander to his breaking point.

"Calm down?" he exploded, gesturing toward his leg. "I can barely walk, can only use one of my hands, and I have absolutely no idea who the hell any of you are! How do you expect me to calm down?"

I felt Mason flinch, and saw his body slouch a little at the words his best friend had just spat out at him. I slid from my chair and set my camera back on the table top.

"Xander, hey, look at me." he lifted his head, cheeks flushed. "It's going to be okay. You're gonna get through this, you will remember everyone. It'll just come with time, and you've got to understand that. They won't all come back at once."

He forced a shaky breath and relaxed back in his seat, eying me. "You don't call me that."

"What?" I muttered, confused.

"You don't call me Xander. You. . . you call me Alex." I opened my mouth in shock.

I wasn't sure if it was because of what I'd said at the hospital that he remembered me calling him Alex or if it was a memory trying to make it's way back into his head.

"You're right." I laughed.

I watched as a genuine smile stretched across his face, relief clear as day in his eyes as he looked at me. It wasn't much, and maybe it didn't mean a whole lot, but in his mind it was a step closer to remembering. As hard as I tried to fight it, I smiled right back at him.

*

By the time I'd gotten my camera up and running, Haiden, Ashton, and Ryan had passed out in various places; one being the floor. Xander sat back in the recliner, watching the news playing in a loop as if it'd help bring his memories closer to the surface.

Mason had turned his back to me, his eyes on the passenger's seat at the front of the RV. The only thing that led me to believe he was still awake was the occasional shake of his head.

"Mason." I gently pushed against his arm.

He didn't turn around as he spoke. "What?"

"Turn around." I demanded with a small smile.

I waited a few minutes until he finally caved and rolled over so he was facing me.

I poked at his cheek with a quiet laugh, "Don't look so sad. It's not a good look on you, Pop Star."

He glared. "Whatever."

"Mason, look. I know it hurts and stings, trust me. I loved him for twelve and a half years and he was gone like that." I snapped my fingers. "You might not think I know how you feel, but I do. And he will remember you soon, don't worry so much about it. He's already frustrated enough, seeing you hurting will only make it worse for him."

He dropped his gaze to my hands folded on my lap. "You know, Willow. For someone who hates him, you sure do care about him."

"Yeah." I agreed.

He brushed his thumb against my cheek with a sad smile. "Thanks, Willow. I think I'm going to try and get some sleep."

I was ready to stand when he leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly. Startled by the sudden action, I rose and walked away. I made my way to the driver's seat and tapped Jack's shoulder gently, careful not to scare him.

"Where are the blankets?" I whispered.

I could tell by the look on his face he had a good idea of what I was going to do. "The cabinet by Xander under the TV."

I nodded and hurried away. There was no way in hell I was going to stand victim as he tried to have a real conversation with him.

I pulled the blankets and a pillow from the cabinet and tiptoed around Xander's recliner. I threw one of the blankets over him and shut the TV off so it wouldn't wake him. Moving on to Ryan, I did the same. I pried Haiden's guitar from under his fingers and set a pillow under his head, letting the last throw fall over both of the Knights as they slept soundly.

Mason's eyes were still wide open when I stopped by him. "You use it. You'll need it more than I will."

"I'll be fine, Mason." I assured, handing him the blanket. "Get some sleep. You've had a long couple weeks.

He stretched out along the two chairs, head resting on my luggage. I waited until his eyes had fluttered shut to start toward the front of the RV again. I fell into the passenger's seat beside Jack, stretching my feet out so I could see the tips of my white converse in the dark.

Turning, I found Jack's eyes on me. He quickly averted his eyes back to the rode and acted as if nothing had happened. I rolled over and laid my head against the window, tracing my finger along the cold dew.

I had fought my brother on this, myself. There had always been a part of me that wished to live the life I'd watched Xander live for so long. I knew that I couldn't hold anything against him anymore, and right now I was all he knew and understood. Maybe the boys needed me here too, and I liked the feeling of being wanted.

As my father drove deeper into the dark night and away from the life I'd once known, I realized that this was going to be a change for everyone. And maybe, maybe it would be a new start for all of us. 

***AN***

Hey guys! This was the end of part one! Woo hoo! No more boring chapters haha. The rest of the book will be a lot of fun, I promise. You'll start to see Willow isn't so serious too 

What do you think about Mason? Do you think Willow really does understand him? And what about Xander's outburst? Do you agree? 

Let me know what you guys think/thought! I promise the rest of the book will be a lot of fun!

~ChasingMadness24