Robin arrived at the cave and I dragged him into the cave, objections flying out of his mouth. I ignored them and continued to pull him towards my room, ne of the only places in the cave without cameras, I didn't want what I was about to say be on camera, I was guilty enough already.

"Roy and I kissed." I admitted when the door closed, he blinked, taking in the information slowly. His facial expressions morphed, surprised, sad, then they settled on angry.

"What? How could you let that happen!" He yelled, I flinched back. I looked down at my shoes, his anger wasn't helping my guilt at the moment. I couldn't stop tears from pooling in my eyes, I bit my lower lip to keep it from shaking.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, not being able to hold in my cries any longer. I sat down on my bed and covered my face with my face with my hands, crying into them rather than in front of Robin."We were both caught up in the moment. The demon- I- was yelling at myself, saying it was fine. We aren't together, I shouldn't worry. I had a dream last night, another reminder about picking good or evil on my birthday. I don't want to be evil, that's why I'm telling you."

"(Y/n)," Robin hugged me tightly, I knew he already felt guilty for snapping at me, but his guilt didn't match mine. Mine was the type of guilt that made you feel empty, that ate away everything else, the kind of guilt that made me feel unworthy of being a hero, but a villain wouldn't feel. Right now I was nothing, neither, I was stuck, like I always had been.

"I never forgot about the kiss you gave me." I sniffled, somehow, a small smile made it's way to my lips. Robin pulled back from the hug, a forgiving smirk playing his features. It allowed some of my guilt to melt away, some, not all.

"I'm that good huh?" He asked, I let out a light laugh.

"Shut up."

"So, will you be joining me and Bruce for Thanksgiving this year?"

"As much as I want to I probably shouldn't. It's M'gann's first Thanksgiving and I need to make sure she doesn't explode the kitchen, not only that but it's Zatanna's first Thanksgiving without her dad."

<><><><><><><><><><>

I started to help Megan and Zatanna with dinner. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a hand reaching for the food we had already prepared. I slapped the hand away, pointing an accusing finger at the red head I called brother.

"This is for dinner, Wally, not for you. Don't you have to eat dinner with your family anyways?" A look of realization dawned on Wally's face as he checked the time on his phone, as always he was late.

"Shoot!" Before I could stop him he grabbed some food and speeded out of my range, the zeta tube announcing his leave. Rolling my eyes I continued to mix the cookie dough together.

I could faintly hear Zatanna crying over the sounds of the busy kitchen. I dropped my spoon, making my way over to her. I hugged her gently, letting her cry onto my shoulder.

"Sorry, it's just, this is the first Thanksgiving without dad." She sniffled, pulling away from me and going back to her food.

To try to bring up the mood I went onto my phone, starting to play some Christmas music. Zatanna groaned, while M'gann was just confused.

"Why are you playing Christmas music before December?" She questioned.

"It's an Earth thing, they really start playing Christmas music right after Halloween." I explained, putting the cookies in the oven.

As we continued to cook all of us sang along to the too early Christmas music. All traces of guilt, and sadness gone. I was thankful that my mind, and sanity, had given me this special day off from having to deal with all of my supernatural worries.

After I made my choice, I was going to be sure to distance myself from that instinct. It would be like ignoring the urge to slap someone who said something stupid, or checking random answers on a test.

While most of me hoped for the best, for the chance to forget about my other side after I made my choice, if I chose good. There was a small part of me that knew there was no getting away from that side of me, it was part of who I am. If I tried to get rid of it, kill it, rip it away, then every part of me would die too.

A hero isn't a hero without a villain. There isn't good without bad, there wasn't me without that instinct. Every hero had to have a villain.

My villain was myself.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you next time! Byyee!

~Lydia💫