"Sunflower" by Post Malone and Swae Lee has me snapping my fingers, dancing around my kitchen like nobody's business. Dab to the left. Dab to the right. The doorbell rings and who is it?

None other than Troy Lockhart, my one and only guy bestie and side hustle business partner. Been tight since we were freshmen in college, where we started our thriving tee shirt business, Sassy Savvy Tees. I dance-rock-walk to the door.

Opening the door, I'm slightly out of breath. "Hey you! Been a while." I rest my hand on my hip.

Troy's green eyes and olive skin seem to pop, even in the late afternoon December sun. The light and shadow on his face highlight his impeccable bone structure. His breath leaves rings of fog as he stands on my porch, hovering before coming in on for a hug.

"You're freezing!" I exclaim before jumping back. "Uh-uh, Gimme your coat." I quickly shut the front door.

He unzips his coat and hands it over. I take it and hang it in the front closet.

Troy blows his fingers to quickly warm himself. "Been a few weeks," he says, reaching for my belly. "How's she coming along?" he asks kneeling to get a better view.

"Baby is great!" I look down and brace for his cold hands as he lightly rubs my belly.

"She's bigger than last time." He stands up and looks around. "So, this is your new place, huh? It's nice. Like real, real nice!"

"Yea, this is the new pad."

"Last time I saw you was a cluster fuck." Troy runs his hand along the back of his low-cut sandy blonde fade and laughs to himself. "You and your guy had that big blowout, and he popped over out the blue, remember?" He snickers. "Awkward."

I half smile. "Definitely awkward. Yeah, I hate how that went down but you were so cool about it. I appreciate that," I tell him giving him a fake punch to the chin. "You were a champ about it."

"Anything for my girl, right?" He smiles and grabs me. "I'm warm, can't turn me away now." He holds me a bear hug.

"You're warmer. Not necessarily warm." I complain. "Still too cold!" But instead of pushing him away, I acquiesce. He's earned his place in my heart.

"Loving this place, man."

"Yeah, Phoenix thought it was time for an upgrade."

"And upgrade he did. What's a place like this run?" he asks.

I shrug. "It's paid for. No mortgage or rent. And it's all mine."

His eyes get wide. "Wow! Homeowner? Already? Look at you!" Troy pretends to spar with me. "Doing big things!"

I roll my eyes playfully. "Still the same old Ari."

"I know, I know." Troy walks around, giving himself an impromptu tour. "You were always about your space. Tall ceilings, I see," he points up. "Fancy art on canvas. No more movie posters." He nods. "Modern leather furniture."

"Italian leather," I chime in with a smile.

"Nothing less!" He walks towards the kitchen. "Stainless steel appliances!" He stands at the fridge, hand on the handle. "Do you mind?" he asks sheepishly.

"Troy, it's the same as it's always been. Help yourself."

"Let's see what we can snack on." He opens the fridge and pulls out some grapes. "Oh! Fancy cheese!" He grabs it. "Turkey summer sausage, let me get that. Strawberries, yes." He turns to me, "You got crackers?"

"Uh, yea. In the cabinet there." I point next to the fridge.

"I'll make you a fancy cheese tray. My mom always hooks me up with this, whenever I come home."

"Sounds like a charcuterie board to me."

"Sounds like bougie to me." Troy mocks me.

I smirk. "How is Mrs. Lockhart?"

"Going to Italy in month or two. Got the travel bug. Can't stay still. Her and my dad."

"Good for them."

"Yeah, she wants me to babysit the house. So, that's where I'll be for a while."

My eyebrows raise. "South side of Chicago? For the holiday?"

"Nothing like having time and space to yourself," he replies.

"OK?" I frown.

"It's good. Come and visit when you wanna get away."

"Alright! Hey," I point behind me, "I'll set up over here in the Great Room."

"Look at you. Great Room," he teases.

I grin and leave to grab my laptop out of the bedroom. "Great Room."

Great Room. It's a word that's synonymous with success. At least in my mind. I've never lived in a home with a Great Room, so it's funny that it's so easy for me say it now. How did that sneak up on me?

When I return, Troy is seated with a mouth-watering spread complete with sliced turkey salami, sliced aged white cheddar cheese, mixed nuts, grapes, olive oil and sea salt crackers, sliced apples, black olives, cut strawberries and peanut butter. My belly rumbles as I sit down.

"I heard that." Troy jokes. "See, he's not feeding you right."

I cut my eyes at him.

"Open up." He grabs a strawberry. "Come on, bust it open for a real one," he says with laughter in voice.

"Bust it open?" My nostrils flare. "For a real one? Cultural appropriation much?"

"Man, come on. South side Chi, remember?"

"OK. I'll give you that. But I'm not the one."

He holds his hands up. "Just playing," he replies as he passes me a dessert plate, "Gotta feed our baby, right."

"Our baby! Boy, you wish!"

"As a matter of fact," he replies impishly biting his lip.

"Not funny, Troy!" I sit there with the empty plate in my hands.

"What, you don't want her daddy in her life?" he asks pointing at himself.

My mouth drops.

"What? Huh?"

"The fuck?" I asked confused on whether we're still playing or serious. "What's going on with you?"

He chuckles uncomfortably. "I guess . . . guess I'm just trying to find my place with an old friend." And with that, his eyes reveal a depth, a melancholy I hadn't seen there before.

A certain sadness suddenly drowns my heart. I pause, trying to think of something to say.

He's in pain. Maybe that's why he's been gone so long.

You never even considered how all this affected him.

Was I supposed to? This is my life.

Yeah, but still . . .

I search the room to find something, anything to change the subject. Nothing comes to mind. "I get it . . . It's not easy. None of this is easy for me either. But I – I don't want us to change. Actually, I need for us to stay the same. I need you as the rock you've always been. Especially now, Troy." I sigh. "It looks great on the outside, but my life . . ." My fingers graze back and forth on my forehead.

Troy leans in. "What? What is it, Ari? You can talk to me."

"But can I though? Things are so weird between us. First, we're cool, then we're not or it feels off. And I don't know us anymore. Like know us. You know? I wish it wasn't like this."

"Hey, hey." He grabs my hand. "Granted, we're in a weird place right now. I'm trying my best, Ari. You're my heart. But regardless, you can always talk to me. I'll be straight with you, every time. I swear."

"You're making this impossible, Troy. I love you to no end. But I'm with Phoenix now. I'm in love with Phoenix, you know that right? And I'm having his baby."

Troy looks down. "I know." Then he lifts his head and sits at attention like a proud soldier. "But hey, I'm a big boy. You don't have to feel any type of way about me. I can hold my own, Ari. And no matter what, I want to be there for you."

"Goddamn, you're melting my heart right now."

He smiles. "At least I can do that." He jokes.

I chuckle. "You won't stop!" I tell him as I smack his hand.

He rubs his smooth chin and smiles coyly. "Listen, you've stood by me helping me through at least three serious relationships."

"Right!" I reply. "There was Jess. Oh, and that one mixed girl. What's her name?"

"Charlize." He smirks to himself. "Charlize." His eyes light up as he seems to go through his own private reel. "Had those heart-stopping green eyes."

"Yea, what was that about? You just let her in cause ya'll both have gorgeous greens? Made me green with envy. I was glad she broke your heart. I just hated seeing you hurt behind it."

"Damn!" He looks at me surprised. "Had no idea."

"Well, now you know." I shoot back.

"Giving me the feels, right now! You do care!" He looks at me sideways.

"Uh duh! I've only been telling you that since forever."

"Wow."

"Oh, and Harmony." I remind him.

"I remember Harmony. The first girl to stomp on my heart."

"I am not going down memory lane on that one! I didn't think you'd make it out in one piece after her!"

"See what I'm talking about? Always that listening ear, giving the best advice, looking out for me, letting me know the real. I can't abandon post on you now. I'll never do that to you. That's some selfish shit."

"I appreciate that. You have no idea. Sometimes I just need a guy's perspective. And you're like the only guy I trust to be real with me."

"Always, Ari." His prickly edges seem to melt away.

I exhale, my shoulders relax, and I lean back into the plush, black leather sofa.

He leans back as he interlaces his fingers with mine and kisses my hand.

A tiny firework bursts in my heart space.

                                                             . . . To Be Continued . . .