Chapter 41: Terrona's POV

Sorry for the wait! I had a bit of trouble with this chapter and wanted it to be perfect. Though uh...I'd advise to bring some tissues. You might need them.

Good luck!

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Prince Liam told me to stay back, to not go into the battle no matter what. He originally wanted me to leave with the physician and Sage, but I couldn't do that. I love Sage with all my heart, she's like a daughter to me, but I couldn't leave the rest of the people. I couldn't sit by and not help in this legendary battle. My duty is to my Kingdom, and I intend to fulfill it.

So I snuck back when no one was looking, and began helping Reid's team with first aid. We did nothing at first, but soon it became apparent that we would need a lot more help as bodies started dropping.

So that's how I got here, sprinting into a fray of swinging weapons and gleaming blades to help up a young man who had just gotten hit with an arrow to his back. I slide on my knees, reaching him. I immediately throw myself on top of him to protect his already wounded body from a fray of arrows. Luckily none landed near us, so I quickly introduce myself and grab his arm, helping him to his feet.

We run back the way I came, rain starting to sprinkle down from the heavens. It runs down my face and cleans the grime building there, and I send a silent prayer of thanks to Kismed. He leans most of his weight on me, so it's slow going, but somehow we make it through the chaotic battle, and reach the hill where the rest of the medics are.

One who had some free hands comes running up to me and takes the man's other arm, helping me to get him to a spot to lay down. We lay him flat and start work on his wound. I work as fast as my aging hands will let me, knowing there are many others that need our help.

Once we get him stable, I leave him in the care of the less experienced medic and turn to go find another wounded to help. The battle had moved up, we had forced Ivar's men back towards the river, and now there was a wide area of destruction where the battle had just been. Bodies lying there from both sides, discarded weapons, blood, sweat, and rapidly forming mud.

It seems to me that the battle is almost over, the number of soldiers having diminished greatly. With the help of the soldiers from Willow Isle we look to be winning, the battle almost done. A wave of medics sprint into the now open area, helping the survivors, as the people who could still walk make their way up to us. I move to help a few, supporting their battered bodies back to safety. I set down the tired people, helping them settle into the soft grass. The rain is pouring now, the heavens opening up in a torrential downpour.

I look sadly at the growing row of bodies that had stopped moving a long time ago, sheets, blankets, clothes and jackets draped over them. We will make sure to honor each and every one of them when we get back home. People are crying over them, family and friends finding their loved ones still and unmoving, dead to this world. My heart aches for them.

"Terrona!" Someone calls. I jog over to a young woman who was tending to a middle-aged servant who I had worked with. "Have you seen Reid? We're all over the place right now and we could really use them." I furrow my eyebrows.

"No." I say, realizing I hadn't seen her since the battle started and the first wave of us ran in to help the wounded. I lost sight of her then and hadn't seen her since. "I'll go look." I say. She nods and goes back to working. I turn and gaze over the hill, taking in every face, but no where can I see a mop of white hair.

So instead, I turn to the battlefield. Maybe she was tending to people down there? I look as closely as possible, but even through the rain I see nothing. I wipe my eyes, trying to dry them and take another look. This time I spot something that makes my blood run cold. It couldn't be, could it?

"Hey, Terrona! I need to speak with Reid, have you seen her?" I hear Kate's voice to my left and I glance at her. She's bloody and dirty, covered in sweat and rainwater, scrapes and shallow wounds littering her body. She's holding her side and isn't putting weight on her left foot, her eyes continuing to glance back at what's left of the battle, obviously anxious to get back to it. The moment she makes eye contact with me she knows something is wrong, her usually hard eyes softening. "What is it?" She asks, reaching a hand out to touch my shoulder.

I look back to the battlefield and at the spark of white among the bleak grays. I don't waste another moment, and take off running. I hear Kate shout something, and then I hear her footsteps trailing me. As I come closer to the form on the ground I feel a scream tear itself out of me, my steps faltering. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be, it can't be, it can't be.

I collapse onto the ground next to Reid's form and I freeze up, seeing the dark crimson blood soaked in her shirt and coating the ground. The rain pelts her pale face, a beacon of light in the stormy evening. A sob escapes my mouth, my shaking hands hovering over the knife sticking out of her stomach.

"T?" She croaks out, her beautiful red eyes finding mine. Kate finally catches up to us and I hear her halt a few feet again, muttering under her breath. "H-hi" Reid says, a soft yet pained smile gracing her lips.

"Hi baby." I choke out, gathering her in my arms and pulling her head into my lap. Kate drops to her knees next to us, her eyes empty and haunted.

"Y-you should probably pull that o-" Her speech is interrupted by a coughing fit, blood spurting from her mouth and running down the side of her face. "It hurts." She whispers.

"I know, baby, I know, but we have to keep it in. It'll slow the bleeding until we can get help, ok? We'll get help." I look back to the hill but no one looks this way.

"HELP!" Kate screams "HELP US!" She tries over and over again until Reid shakily puts a hand on her forearm, halting her desperate yells. At the tough Kate seems to unravel, a sob forcing its way out of her as her hands fly up to cover her mouth.

"It's ok. I'll be ok." She says softly. "I-I love both of you. And-and please tell Liam and Amber I-I feel the same..." Her voice grows softer and tighter with pain with every word.

"Try not to speak, sugar, save your energy." I say, and make eye contact with Kate. A pained understanding passes between us and I cover my mouth to stifle another sob. Tears stream silently from Kate's eyes.

"Ok, we'll tell them." Kate says, her voice tight with emotion. Reid visibly relaxes at that, sinking into my lap even more. I take her cold hand in mine and brush her soaked hair back from her forehead.

"Reid, honey, you need to keep your eyes open, ok? Please. Please just- keep your eyes open." Reid's eyes flutter a bit before cracking open once more. I smile and nod. "I'll make you your favorite dinner when we get home, ok? I'll bake as many cakes as you want and-and you won't ever have to do any chores ever again, alright? Just stay awake, please." Reid's the child I never had. She can't leave me. She just can't.

"And I'll give you those fighting lessons you always talked about, ok?" Kate chimes in. Reid smiles faintly.

"Do you-" She coughs again, squeezing my hand tightly. "Do you think I'll become a star?" She asks, looking longingly up at the cloudy sky. The rain washes away the downspout of tears clouding my vision. I stifle another sob and take a deep breath before replying.

"I think you'll be the most brilliant constellation in the night sky." My constricted voice croaks out. Reid seems satisfied with that answer, but a moment later her eyes well up with tears.

"I'm scared." A tear falls down her cheek. I wipe it away quickly and run a hand through her hair, just like she liked on those late nights she couldn't fall asleep.

"Don't be, darling, don't be. Kismed will-" I pause as a sob escapes me. "Kismed will take good care of you." Reid nods, her eyes fluttering closed.

"I wish...there's so many...Liam..." She starts, but her voice trails off into nothing. A cold fist clenches my heart so hard I feel it stop beating, my breath catching in my throat.

"Reid?" I ask tentatively. "Reid?" I ask again, more frantic. I ask again and again but she doesn't reply.

And she never will again.

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Liam

When I wake I almost forget where I am. I almost forget why I'm laying in a field in the rain. Almost forget why my entire body aches and why I'm covered in blood. Then it all comes rushing back to me at once.

It's with dazed eyes that I look over the battlefield. The bodies, the weapons, the blood and the dirt. The pain and the agony and the anger and the sadness like a blanket settling over the dead grass. I look down at my blood-splattered hands and I'm confused by my lack of emotion. These people...they died because of me. I ordered this attack. And I...oh goddesses I killed people.

As I look across the field, at the people dragging wounded back to the medics, at the survivors shakily walking back to base, I find myself looking up at the hill. The physician is there, the person who I had entrusted with curing Sage. I look with hopeful eyes up at her and at the darkness in her face, and I know exactly what she would tell me if I was in ear shot.

Sage is dead.

My sister is dead.

No. No. No, no, no, no.

I turn in a daze, my eyes blurred by tears, the world seeming to tilt on its axis. I look over the battlefield once more and spot a large, dark figure laying on the opposite side of the field. It's still, with large spears sticking out of its body like a porcupine. Another figure is draped over it, his body heaving with some sort of sob. And then it hits me. I recognize the color of the scales. That figure is Viserion.

I remember him being shot down in the craziness of the battle, and I saw Myshica come to his aid but it never occurred to me that he wouldn't get healed.

The battlefield shakes with the anguished cry of his mate.

Surprisingly, I feel no more anger. I just become hysterical, dropping to my knees in defeat, disbelieving chuckles forcing their way out of me. And then an ear-piercing scream cuts through the silent valley. I look to my left and see Terrona sprinting towards one of the many bodies. It takes me a moment after she had gathered the figure in her arms for me to recognize them, white hair bright amongst the dull field.

It's Reid.

Oh goddesses, it's Reid. Another figure - Kate, it looks like - comes running after Terrona. Again, the pain in my heart doesn't increase. If anything it lessens as I feel myself become numb. The chuckles turn into a fit of hysterical laughter.

I feel myself double over at the waist, my nose brushing the ground. My body is wracked with shrieking laughs that sound maniacal. Tears stream down my face and plop into the dirt, but I don't even feel them. I clasp my hands against my heart, the pain there slowly unbearable. It feels as if my chest is being crushed, rain pelting my back and soaking my already drenched clothes.

As my laughter slowly dies down, I take a deep breath and scream. I don't know why I do it, but it tears out of me almost involuntarily. My hands rake my hair, pulling out strands and cascading them across the dead grass as another ear-piercing wail forces its way out of my throat, dissolving into dry sobs that bubble out of my mouth.

I go quiet almost immediately after hearing a voice. No, the voice.

I look up slowly, still doubled over, to see Ivar Quentian stumbling across the field. He's covered in blood and his clothes are torn and his skin is filthy. Though none of the blood looks like his.

His eyes scan over the area, and they meet mine. I feel my fists slowly clench as I get up. I stumble to a stand, and I try to control my increasing heart rate just by seeing him. He moves within earshot, yet out of reach from me, and stands there with this glaze over his eyes.

"I never meant for this to happen..." His voice comes out shaky and almost boyish.. "I've been in battles but this...I am so sorry. I had to do it. My father...he would have killed me. He's already killed everyone I- everyone I cared about. I have no one left, but he would have found a way to hurt me. He always does. All I needed to do was t-take you out and-." His voice cracks and he lets out a shaky breath, eyes rimmed with red. At that moment he looks so young and I realize he's only a few years older than me.

Maybe...just maybe he can be redeemed-

"But you kind of have to admit, you did sorta ask for it. I gave you a chance to run and cut your losses, but you didn't. So, if you think about it, this is kind of both of our faults, isn't it?" He laughs humorlessly but his mirthless smile dies when he sees my fists clenching.

"You killed her." I say. Is that really my voice? It sounds so...dark. "I couldn't save her." His face goes dark.

"So the poison finally took her then? Well...it wasn't painful at the very least. My father wanted me to stab her, cut her, torture her, do so many worse things. But instead I gave her a painless death where she would fall asleep and not feel anything. I hope you know that. I never wanted her to suffer." He looked away briefly, and that was his first mistake. His second was trusting that I wouldn't attack. A deadly oversight.

I lunge forward so fast he barely has time to react. I swing my arm in a wide ark and my fist connects with his cheek. The impact forces him to the ground and he grunts, holding his bruised face.

"Ok, yeah, I deserve that-" He's cut off by a kick to the stomach. He doubles over, gasping for breath. My breath is labored, fueled by the pure hatred burning through my veins.

"Don't make me fight you." He says after coughing for a moment. "You can run now, with the survivors, and I can tell my father you were eradicated. Never show yourself again and you can live peacefully, lead your people. But if I fight you...you're not getting out of this alive. You're not a fighter, Liam. You're not a killer." His piercing blue eyes glare up at me and all I can think about is jabbing something pointy into those shady pupils of his.

"I am now. Get up." I say through clenched teeth. He just looks up at me. "GET UP!" I scream. He finally moves and pulls himself into a standing position.

All I feel is rage. Unbound, seething rage that flows through my veins. This anger is foreign to me. New and disgusting and ugly. But I can't help but cling to it, want it.

Kate told me that I shouldn't learn to fight because bringing about peace is my nature. Hurting people is not who I am. Hell, I cringed at a drop of blood up until now. And I agreed for a long time. I hated fighting people, always opting to talk it out and reach a compromise. But now... now the only thing I want to do is hurt.

Forgive me Kate.

I'm not the man you thought I was.

I take the first swing. He dodges it easily and comes up at my side, jabbing his fingers under my ribs. I stumble and cough, cradling my definitely bruised bones. I look up at the man that ignites this primal rage in me, and with a cry of pure anger I lunge again. This time he's too slow and I land a blow in his stomach, taking the wind out of him. He doubles over and I bring my knee up, cracking his nose. Blood spurts onto the grass and he falls onto his side. I back up, my breathing coming in quick, short breaths.

"Get up." I say. He looks up at me, his eyes looking angry for the first time. He slowly moves to stand. But before he gets all the way up he tackles me at the legs. We tumble down to the ground together and he grabs my shirt in one fist, and punches my jaw with the other.

He punches my jaw another time before pulling back. Blood pools in my mouth and I spit it in his face. He barely flinches. I feel myself smiling, and in the back of my mind I realize how crazy I must look. Blood spattered on my face, in my teeth and on my clothes, yet I'm smiling like someone just told the funniest joke. Even Ivar looks unsettled.

"Do it again." I say. I laugh a few times humorlessly, and I raise my head closer to him. "Punch me again! Come on!" I deserve it. I deserve to be punished. I killed people. I killed people. His eyes are confused and panicked, and he hesitates. I use this to push my legs up as hard as I can, successfully flipping him over my head. He slams down on his back and I stand quickly, taking the opportunity to kick him a few more times.

He rolls away, splashing into the river. He raises himself up on his forearms, his blood washing away in the murky water. I open my arms wide as I saunter towards him.

"Come on! Is that all you got? We both have got nothing to lose, so what's keeping you back, huh? COME ON!" I slap my chest and barrel towards him. I tackle him and we both splash into the river.

He gains his footing before I do and takes my head in his hands, bringing it down hard on his knee. I collapse onto the muddy bottom and try to gain my bearings. He brings an elbow down hard on my spine and I cry out in pain. The water blurs my vision and I don't see the next attack coming. He brings my arms backwards way too hard and I feel something pop, followed by blinding pain, and then his hand is gripping my hair painfully. He forces my head under water and keeps it there. I thrash, water filling my lungs. In a blind panic my limbs flail around, trying to find purchase on anything to breathe again. Finally, I find his legs, and with the last of my concentration, I use all of my strength to kick his legs out from underneath him. He falls, his grip loosening on my head.

I surge out of the water, gasping for air. I cough water out of my lungs and after a moment I blindly stumble to a stand. I push my hair out of my face and another laugh tears out of me. I look down at Ivar, who is trying to get up himself.

I kick with all my might, throwing him almost out of the river. I walk forward and grasp his collar, dragging him up the bank. He helplessly thrashes about, but somehow I'm stronger than he. I throw him forward and he collapses into the ground. He takes a moment and tries to pull himself up.

"Oh not this time." I ascend on him, pressing my knee painfully into his chest. His breath is forced out of him and he sprawls out on the ground. "You took everything from me, you little shit." I whisper to him, getting as close as possible.

"I did what I had to." Is his only reply.

"Wrong answer." I say, clenching my teeth painfully. I grab a fist-full of his tunic in one hand and I bring my fist down on his face with my entire weight. His head flies back and to the side, whipping painfully. I bring him back and punch again. I do it again. When I bring him back in front of me his eyes are dazed and look like he doesn't know where he is. I shake him a second until he comes back into focus.

"You took my sister from me." I say with venom in my voice. I punch him again. "You took my mentor from me." I punch again.

I feel the skin on my knuckles start to pull apart, but I couldn't care less. All I see is red. Pure anger flowing through me, adrenaline pumping through my system. I want him to hurt. I want him to feel every bit of the pain he has caused me the past few months. I deserve that much, don't I?

"You took my best friend from me." He's punched again. I change hands.

"You took my people." Again.

"You took my home." And again.

"You took my country." Again.

"You took my innocence. You made me sacrifice everything that made me, me, so I had to be this King that I didn't want to be. And most importantly, you turned me into this."

I punch blindly, tears blurring my vision, letting loose every bit of anger from within me. I'm a blur of fists and fury. I let loose a scream that lasts for longer than it should. At some point Ivar stopped moving, but I don't notice. Every limb in my body hurts but it is nothing compared to the pain in my heart. My ribs and spine aches, my bicep stings, my shoulder throbs, my legs are sore, but I notice none of it. Rain water pours off of me, mixing with blood to create a rust colored puddle.

Eventually my arms grow so tired I physically cannot punch anymore, so I grab his shirt with both of my hands and slam him into the ground. Over and over again I raise him up just to slam him down again. I barely hear the hollow thumps from his head hitting the ground.

Then, once I can punch again, I'm back to slamming into the sides of his face. Over and over again I do this cycle. I can't stop. I won't stop. Not until he's felt the pain.

I don't know how long it is until hands start to grab at me, attempting to pull me away from him. I fight against them, yelling obscenities and other hurtful things until more appear. It takes four pairs to drag me off of Ivar's body, and even then I fight against them to continue my rampage. My eyes don't waver from Ivar. He needs to pay. He must pay.

"Liam! Liam, listen to me!" Finally a voice breaks through the roar of blood in my ears. A face comes into focus in front of me and my eyes reluctantly break from the body on the ground. It's TJ, Renate's right hand man. My chest is heaving, I'm covered in a cold sweat and it's hard to focus, yet still I find his kind eyes hard to look away from.

"You must stop!" TJ continues.

"He has to pay. He has to." I say desperately, my voice hoarse.

"Liam, Ivar is dead. You've been hitting a dead corpse for who knows how long. It's time to stop." He shifts ever so slightly so I can see over his shoulder. I look at the body and get a glimpse of the face. Though it's hardly a face anymore. All the features are practically gone and the skull is caved in, blood covering every inch of the head. He's unrecognizable.

I did that.

I murdered him.

Suddenly the hands around me are no longer keeping me back, but keeping me standing. I collapse into them and they shift to keep my weight up.

What have I done?

I don't remember being brough back to the hill. I don't remember getting my wounds bandaged or the people asking me questions. I don't even remember the collective roar of celebration as Ivar's final warrior retreats. I sit there in a haze, staring forward silently.

All of those people...the blood. My hands as I beat a dead man's body. The feeling of his skull giving way as I slam him into the ground. His eyes growing cold and his lungs expelling his last breath. My sword, coated with blood...my clothes sticking to me with the crimson liquid.

I stare down at my hands, knuckles wrapped with bandages and fingers stained red.

What have I done?

I hear my name getting called and I look over in a daze, not quite registering anything. Someone's running towards me, and then there's arms around me. I tentatively wrap an arm around the person, confused. They're sobbing into my shoulder, gripping me tightly. Finally, my brain comes back to me enough for me to realize its Terrona.

I sigh and wrap my other arm around her, pulling me in tighter. I bury my face in her shoulder, letting myself break apart. She cries into me and I cry into her. At this point I don't know who's holding who up. She stops crying first, her sobs quieting into sniffles while my uncontrollable weeping continues. She whispers comforting things into my ear, stroking my disgusting hair back.

I had never paid too much attention to the woman, only exchanging words in passing or talking to her about Sage. But at that moment I had felt closer to almost no one else, a connection of loss passing through us. She hums in a motherly way, letting me break apart in her arms.

I cry for the citizens that died, I cry for the families who lost brothers or sisters or parents or friends, I cry for Viserion, I cry for Reid and I cry for my sister. I cry for the things I've done and the people I've killed. I even cry for Ivar, the evil man who could have had such a different life had his father allowed it.

Eventually, I calm down, my tears drying and my sobs dying. Terrona holds me for a few moments longer before we both pull back. She looks like a wreck, but I'm sure I look worse. I almost don't have the heart to ask it. Almost.

"How many?" My throat comes out hoarse and hollow, dry and painful from having no water the entire day. Terrona's soft eyes seem to crack as she looks at me, fresh tears flooding them.

"I don't think-" She cuts herself off, her eyes flying up, over my head at someone behind me. Her face goes slack with shock and my hair stands on its end at the voice that sounds behind me.

"Li-" The voice is hoarse and she coughs before trying again. "Liam...?"

I turn around so fast my head hurts. I stare in disbelief at the figure standing, assisted by the physician.

"Sage?!"

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Word count: 4842

Uh... dont kill me?

I'll be honest ive been looking forward to writing this since I started the book. And now that it's finally here...what do you think? Maybe its surprising? Maybe its not? Please dont riot, i promise that things will come together in the end.

Though...you are allowed to be mad, so please, scream away.

Cya next week!