Chapter 20: Liam's POV 

WEEEEE 20 CHAPTERS LETS GOO

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A

s soon as we got high enough we sped away from that horrible place, the sounds of fighting being blown away in the wind. I immediately remove my heavily patched jacket and wrap it around Kate who's shivering in her undergarments. After the adrenaline is slowly pumped out of our systems, we sit in tense silence. But as the sky grows darker, so do my thoughts. 

I should have done something. I'm the leader of this quest, I'm supposed to protect everyone. So why can't I protect Kate? Some other dude, though very hot and steamy, had to come in and save the day. Why can't I do anything right? 

"Liam?" I look up to see Reid staring back at me, his big, soft, crimson eyes taking me in. 

"Yeah?" I say, my voice small and shaky despite my attempts to steady it. 

"Are you okay? You're too quiet." He says gently. I nod, trying for a smile before breaking eye contact to stare at the passing trees. I mean, I am fine, aren't I? 

We land a few hours later when the sun began to set below the horizon. I slip off the side of Amber, her cat-like eyes peering at me. I look back at Kate who wraps herself tighter with my way-too-long jacket, her face is dusty and dirty from the arena. Reid stands beside her, his hand placed gently on her shoulder as he offers her a blanket. I clench my teeth and turn away, trying not to let my emotions overflow. 

Thankfully, no one talks to me for a while. They stay in their huddle for a long time, not even sparing me a glance. They understand. I just need time. I sit with my back against a tree, watching the three talk. I should have protected them. They're my responsibility. 

Finally, as the laughing dies down, Reid stands and makes his way toward me. He plops down next to me with an over-dramatic grunt. We both stare at the girls, a comfortable silence falling between us. 

"So," He begins, turning to me. I reluctantly turn to look back. "Wanna go prank Kate?" He asks with a mischievous smile. Immediately, at the word "prank" my face lights up. My previous thoughts dissipate and are replaced with ideas and schemes. 

"My, my, Reid. Being out here has changed you. You never suggested pranks before. Ever!" I say with a laugh. He just looks at me with a soft smile on his face. 

"Oh! What if we do water! No, she doesn't have any clothes on yet,  that might be a hypothermia issue. Especially since it's such a cold night. Fireworks! We don't have any fireworks. Feathers with a sticky solution! We don't have a sticky solution or feathers." I say, ticking ideas off on my fingers. 

"What if we just do a bug," Reid says finally, not breaking eye contact. 

"Reid! That's brilliant!" I laugh. "You go get a pine needle and put it in her drink and when she looks down to try and pick it out I'll put a bunch on her back!" I get up excitedly, sprinting farther into the forest before Reid can even say anything. 

Once we're prepared, Reid makes his way back towards the group and I creep upon them in the shadows. 

"How is he?" Kate asks, looking back the way he came, but it's too dark to see much.

"Frustrated. Stressed. But that's to be expected." Reid says in his usual low and soft voice, shrugging. I falter. Is it really to be expected? 

And then I see it happen. With a sly hand movement, he slips a piece of dead grass into Kate's wooden cup. I creep up behind her, trying not to make a sound. I look up and try not to jump as I meet Amber's eyes. She squints but doesn't say anything. Raising an eyebrow, she looks away and continues what she was doing. I breathe out a sigh of relief. 

I wait, pine needles in hand for Kate to look down at her cup. Finally, she does, bringing it up for a sip. She pauses, looking into it. 

"Ew, there's a stupid bug in my water." She says, trying to fish it out. Then I pounce. With a hundred little needles I brush them all over her back, simulating bugs. I give the illusion of crawling, moving them all over. She immediately starts squirming, letting out a squeal as she frantically tries to brush off the non-existent insects. She loses grip of her cup and it falls, splashing slightly onto her bare legs. 

I finally crumble with laughter, quitting my very real bug simulation. Reid's chuckling as well and Amber is holding back her own giggles. But I can't help it, I double over laughing, the cackles forced out of me. Kate turns around, her face a mask of anger. She looks as if she's going to strangle me alive, but I still see a glint of amusement in her eye. 

"Liam Aster Emmerson, I swear to the goddesses…" she doesn't even finish her sentence, clenching her fists. 

"How do you…" I can barely speak without laughing. "How do you know my middle name?!" I burst out laughing again, unable to contain it. Somewhere deep down, I know this laughter isn't entirely due to the prank. 

She lets out a big sigh as Amber can't contain herself anymore and laughs along with me. Her posture and face soften as she looks at me, cracking a small smile. 

"How long has it been?" She asks finally after our laughter dies down to a couple of chuckles. I move to sink next to them, joining their circle. The fire crackles and pops softly and emits a warm glow on their faces. 

"Since what?" I ask, looking at her, my stomach aching. 

"Since your last prank." She pulls my coat tighter around her shoulders, snuggling into the collar. She had found a pair of pants but a lot of our bags had been lost at that fortress and unfortunately one of them happened to be her clothes. For now, she'd have to go shirtless until we find one to fit her. I don't mind lending her my jacket anyway. 

"Since before." I don't even need to elaborate, they all just know. With a collective sigh, we all settle in, enjoying one another's presence. 

I glance at Kate and nonchalantly remove a strand of her hair from the folds of my jacket. She looks over at me with an expression I can't quite read. Suddenly, Reid shoots into a standing position, glancing at Amber. 

"We need more firewood." He announces uncharacteristically loud. He glances at Amber again and makes a stiff gesture. She suddenly shoots up as well, announcing in our minds that she too has observed that we need more firewood. Then together they speed walk away. I and Kate sit there awkwardly, confused. 

I start to notice the humor of the prank disappearing completely, no longer a defense from my previous thoughts. They come flooding back in despite my attempts to push them back. It's like holding up a cardboard wall in the middle of a tsunami: it might stop a little bit, but it's nothing in comparison to the water rushing past. 

"Kate," I say finally, clenching my fist. "I want you to teach me to fight." I look at her dead in the eyes. Her usually hard-set face softens the tiniest bit as she looks away from me and into the fire. 

"No." She says after a long while. 

"What do you mean no? I d-" She puts a hand up, stopping me. 

"Hear me out." She says, locking eyes with me. When I don't protest she continues. "Liam, I think you're trying to be a perfect image of Sage. You're trying to be everything she is. But the truth is, you're not." She shifts uncomfortably. Talking isn't her strong suit, especially when it's about feelings. 

"Truth is, she's her, and you're you. She's a fighter, you're a lover. You bring peace. I've seen it happen time and time again." She reaches over and grabs my hand. I stiffen. Physical touch from Kate was rare enough, but to hold hands? That's an entirely different level. "Bringing peace is who you are. You need to stay true to that. You need to stop trying to be someone you're not, and just accept that you're you." She finally looks up from her feet, looking me straight in the eye. 

"And you is good enough for me." She squeezes my hand, our eyes locking together like the perfect puzzle. I study those deep, dark brown eyes, shoveling through the hard and expressionless crust to get to the emotional center I know is there, but she looks away before I can reach it. 

Her hand flies away from mine, the place her soft palm had been growing cold in the exposure to the cold night. She shifts away from me ever so slightly and loosens my jacket around her shoulders. I glance sideways at her, but eventually follow her lead and avert my gaze. An air of awkwardness settles over us in the next few moments as we wait for the others to come back. 

Eventually, they do, holding a total of three suitable logs for the fire. A very successful haul if I do say so myself. After Amber makes sure the fire is going strong, they each one by one settle in for bed. Reid leans against Amber's side and Kate wraps herself in multiple blankets along with her bedding. 

But I sit. I can't possibly sleep when I'm like this. My mind won't shut up. 

I can't stop thinking about Sage. How is she? How long does she have? I remember how she looked when I left, it was as if she was just sleeping. But now…I wonder. It makes my heart clench just thinking about it. How we only have a certain amount of time before…it happens. 

Oh, Sage…perfect, wonderful Sage. The Sage who was loved by everyone. The Sage who could do no wrong. How come you got it so easy? Leading always happened so easily for you. You would jump headfirst into a problem and always come out unscathed. Why can't I do that? Why can't I protect the people I love like you can? Why can't I protect you? 

Why did you leave me? Why. Why? Why? 

I feel tears burning at the back of my eyes as I clench my fist in anger. I grind my teeth, my breath coming quicker. 

Why why why why why why why? Why me? Why did you leave me? Why did you do this to me? How could you do this to me? How could you? 

I stand up and try to walk it off, but I only get a few hundred feet from the camp before I burst. The anger and the hatred and the suppressed emotions and the responsibilities and the longing come bursting forth. 

As tears fill up my eyelids I let out a short scream of anger, my hands tearing at my hair. I rip them out of my tangled locks, clenching and unclenching my fists. I move to a nearby stump and let out my anger. I kick the wood, over and over and over and over again until the bark is chipping away and the toe of my boot is worn. I kick until I'm so out of breath I can barely breathe. But I take in a deep breath anyway and let out another scream, this one filled with all the emotions that had built over the past many days. 

I couldn't grieve the loss of my home like any of the other citizens because I had a duty to them. I couldn't grieve for Sage, who is on the verge of death. I couldn't process the new role of Acting King thrust upon me. I wasn't given time to understand my responsibilities. I can't take time to deal with intense anxiety, with the crippling stress. Every time I turn my back, my friends get hurt and it's my fault. Every time I let my guard down I make a mistake. 

Why did you do this to me, Sage? Why did you leave me?! Why, why, WHY?!!

I vaguely register footsteps coming from behind me as I crumble to the ground. Reid's soft orange pants come into my view. He crouches down and sits beside me. 

"Liam is everything-" He doesn't even finish his sentence before I collapse into him. I lean into him, tears now running freely down my cheeks. My body is wracked with sobs as Reid rubs my back, shushing me and whispering conferring words to me. 

I cling to him, his presence the only stable platform in the sea of emotions and fears and thoughts I'm drowning in. No, he's not the only one. Two more, just a little ways away. They aren't with me at the moment, I'm not clinging to them desperately, but they're there in case I lose grip. They'll catch me. They all will. I know they will. 

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W

ord count: 2238

SooOooOoooOooOoO….? What'd you think? Did you like it? I liked it :3333 

Thoughts? Concerns? Predictions? Views on characters/relationships? You know I love emm

(Bonus) since you guys seemed to love him so much, I did it and I drew Steamy Knee-Wobbler Spartan Steamy Hot Chocolate from the last chapter. You're welcome (idk if I really did him justice but I tried my best XD)

Cya next week!!!