Elliana's Point Of View

"Love, you're hurting me," she sadly chuckled.

"Prioritize your studies over me," mariing sabi ko.

Her eyes roam around the room to avoid eye contact with me. Yvonne hardly swallowed as if there's something stuck in her throat.

"I love you—"

"I know! I know, Yvonne. But that love is too much, you're ruining something because of love. And that's unhealthy for you."

Nawalan ng emosyon ang mukha nito st sinalubong ang tingin ko. Her eyes were cold and I can't help but to feel scared.

"Sinasabi mo ba na makikipaghiwalay ka sa 'kin?"

"What? Wala akong sinabing gano'n!" napapadyak ako sa inis.

"It sounds like it," the coldness of her voice sent shivers to my body.

"Hindi ko sinabing gusto kong makipaghiwalay sa 'yo. Ibang usapan ang bagay na 'yon. Yvonne, nililihis mo 'yong usapan."

"Fine. Yes, it's my mistake. I dedicated my time to make the blueprint. Mali ako, inaamin ko 'yon. That's the reason why I'm here, standing in front of you, to say sorry. Hindi mo kasalanan, kasalanan ko kasi naging pabaya ako."

I thought she'd lash out on me and say mean things to me. She heaved a long sigh and tiredly smiled st me.

"Umuwi ka na."

"Galit ka pa."

"Oo, at hindi huhupa ang galit ko agad-agad. Si Tita na mismo ang tumawag at nanghihingi ng tulong, Yvonne. Nakakahiya!"

I unexpectedly broke down into tears out of frustration. 'Yong hiya na nararamdaman ko ay umaapaw. Tita sees me as a good woman and a good example to her daughter.

"Elli."

"Please, umuwi ka na."

"Elli, pag-usapan natin 'to. I'm sorry. Hindi na mauulit."

"Hindi na talaga!" hindi napigilang sigaw ko.

Bahagyang napaatras si Yvonne dahil sa pagsigaw ko. Bumadha rin ang gulat at sakit sa mukha nito. My heart sank because of her reaction.

"Umuwi ka na. Huwag mo muna akong kausapin. Huwag mo ng dagdagan ang galit ko, Yvonne."

Walang ibang sinabi si Yvonne. Nilapag lang nito ang bitbit na drawing tube. Lumingon pa ulit ito sa 'kin bago tuluyang lumabas. My knees went jelly.

Nasasakal ako. Nahihirapang huminga. Wala akong pakialam kung ano ng itsura ko ngayon. All I can think of is the pain inside me.

Kinagabihan ay umuwi ako na mugtong-mugto ang mga mata. I crawled down my bed. Flashes of Yvonne's face appeared and I can't help but sob. Siguro iniisip pa rin ni Yvonne na gusto kong maghiwalay kami. No. I would never leave her.

I love my girlfriend and leaving her is the last thing I'd do. I want to call her and tell her how much I love her. But I couldn't. I'm mad at myself for being so inconsiderate of her feelings. I wasn't thinking straight. Hindi ko dapat siya sinigawan. Sana ay pinakinggan ko ang sasabihin niya.

I locked myself in my room the next day. Hindi na ako nag-abalang bumangon at tumulala nalang buong araw. Iniisip kung tatawagan si Yvonne at mags-sorry o umiyak nalang ng umiyak.

This is me and my 'magulong isip' against the world.

"Umuwi na si Yvonne kagabi. Nag-message na rin naman daw siya sa Professor niya at sinabing papasok na this week."

A week had passed and I'm still sulking. Hindi ko kinausap si Yvonne kahit alam kong nasa aartment lang ito ni Yelena. And now, Yelena's here with me in my office with food in her hands.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga. "Mabuti naman."

"Hm. And she cooked this. Ibigay ko daw sa 'yo."

Iyon ang naging routine namin matapos ang nangyari. She stayed here for a week. Palaging dumadaan si Yelena dito sa opisina ko para ihatid ang pagkain na niluluto ni Yvonne para sa 'kin.

It feels nice. A few months from now is our anniversary. Yvonne is my soulmate, I can feel it. What is a soulmate? A soulmate is like a best friend but more than that. A soulmate is someone who knows you better and will make you do better. And for me, that's her. My love.

"Maghihintay daw siya sa tawag mo," dagdag ni Yelena.

"Okay. Thank you dito."

"Communication is really a must, Elli."

"I know, Yel. Hindi ko alam paano ia-approach si Yvonne matapos ang nangyari," kagat labing sabi ko.

"Text o tawag, solve na solve na 'yon. Si Yvonne pa. Kinakausap nga picture mo gabi-gabi. Hibang."

"Sige, tatawagan ko siya mamaya. Salamat ulit dito."

"You're welcome. Kainin mo 'yan. Aalis na ako."

Dala ang sling bag ay tumayo ito at inayos ang damit. Sa pagkakaalam ko ay nasa parking lot si Dart, hatid sundo kasi nito si Yelena.

"Ilang buwan na nanliligaw si Dart sa 'yo ah."

Yelena let out a soft chuckle. "Actually, kami na. Sinagot ko na siya."

"Ha? Kailan? Bakit hindi ko alam?" padyak ko.

"Two days ago. Malungkot ka eh. Hindi naman pwedeng masaya ako tapos ikaw malungkot."

Lumapit ako kay Yelena at niyapos ito ng sobrang higpit. The familiar warmth wrapped around me. Ganitong-ganito ang eksena namin noon habang nag-aaral pa. Araw-araw may yakapan. Nostalgic feeling. Iba pa rin talaga.

"You're the best person in the world, Yel. Thank you for being my best friend."

A light tap on my back made me smile even wider. Yel never changed. This is how she acts, always. Napaka-comforting ng kaibigan kong 'to. Nakikita ko lang siya ay alam ko na agad na may masasandalan ako. My best friend is a keeper.

Huwag lang magkakamali si Dart na saktan si Yelena, malilintikan siya sa 'kin.

"Ang role ko dito sa mundo ay ang pasayahin ang mga taong mahal ko at mahal ako."

After Yelena left, I excitedly opened the food my girlfriend made for me. There was a note included inside the lunch box.

I'm sorry, love. Gagalingan ko sa school. This time, hindi ako nagsisinungaling. I'll wait for your call. I'm not mad at you for shouting, I deserve it anyway. I miss you. I adore you, Elliana.

— Yvonne

I devoured the food and enjoyed every second of it. Yvonne's cooking skills never disappointed me. Talented ang mahal kong nobya. Tapos heto ako, limitado lang ang alam sa mga gawaing bahay.

I devoted my time in studying. School at bahay. Sa bahay nag-aaral pa rin. Barely had time enjoying my youth. High school daw ang pinakamasayang parte ng pagiging estudyante. Maybe for some other students, not for me.

Pag-uwi sa bahay ay tinawagan ko agad si Yvonne. Nakaka-tatlong ring pa lang ng sagutin nito ang tawag.

"Hi!" she greeted.

"Hey," I greeted back.

"Nasa school pa ako. Humahabol ng lessons."

"Oh. Anong oras ka uuwi?"

"Nine or ten. Nag-dinner ka na? How was the food I cooked?"

"Masarap. Sobra. Kakauwi ko lang. Wala akong gana. Gusto ko ng luto mo," nakangusong sagot ko.

"Padalhan kita ng breakfast bukas?" she chuckled.

"Nah, it's alright. Maaga ka pa bukas sa school at late kang uuwi ngayon."

"I miss you."

Impit na napatili ako. Wala na, nalulusaw na naman ang puso ko.

"I miss you too."

"I wish I could see you right now."

"You will. Pasensya na nasigawan kita no'ng nakaraan. I was wrong. I should've listened to you."

"It's fine. I understand."

"Hm. Diretso uwi ka mamaya, okay? Huwag ka ng gumala, gabi na," paalala ko.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"I have to hang up now."

"I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too. See you soon, Love."

"See you, my love."

*****