Elliana's Point Of View

I gasp as I opened my eyes and my head started aching. God, I was so drunk last night I didn't even know how I managed to come home.

"Elli, I think you should lessen your habit of drinking too much. Look at you, mukha kang basahan sa itsura mo," kastigo ni Mama.

"Ma, I'm old enough to drink liquors as much as I want. Good morning by the way," ngumisi ako.

"Hinatid ka ni Brad kagabi. He also bought you medicine for your hangover. That kid is thoughtful."

Thoughtful my ass. He's just as fake as a doll. Nasa loob ang kulo. Well, a thank you wouldn't hurt that much.

"I'm going to work later at noon, Ma."

Pagkatapos kumain ay ininom ko iyong gamot na binigay ni Mama sa 'kin. Nag-aya ng inuman kagabi si Brad kaya responsibilidad niya talagang iuwi ako at bilhan ako ng gamot.

"No, Elliana. Dito ka lang hanggat hindi nawawala ang sakit ng ulo mo. Inom ka ng inom, maawa ka sa atay mo, anak. You're being careless."

"I am not, Ma."

Kailan ba kayo masasanay sa 'kin? I'm always like this. I'm not proud but drinking makes me so relaxed. Nakakawala ng stress. Drinking alcohol is my therapy.

"You look like a rebel. Mag-ayos ka na at huwag ng makulit."

As soon as Mama left, I took the medicine with me and went upstairs. Humilata agad ako sa kama at sinabunutan ang sarili. Ang sakit ng ulo ko bwesit.

"Ang sakit na nga ng ulo ko, sumabay pa 'tong puso ko. Cringe," I reacted and laughed at my foolishness.

Who cares what the world is gonna think? They can call me foolish or stupid, I don't care.

Tumayo ako at pumasok sa banyo. I rested my head on the bathtub and accidentally fall asleep. Nagising lang ako nang may marinig na kumakatok sa kwarto ko.

"What? I'm in the bathroom!" I screamed.

"Your friends are here, hurry up."

"Who?" I asked back.

I have this many different circles of friends.

"Yelena, Karen, and Evelyn."

"Oh."

Tinapos ko agad ang pagligo at bumaba. Hindi na ako nag-abalang ayusin ang buhok.

"What's up?" I asked the moment I entered the living room.

Natuod ako sa kinatatayuan ko nang makitang hindi lang sila ang tao sa sala. My eyes widened when I saw this particular person with a straight face. My heart started beating fast as I stare at her emotionless face.

"Elli! God, lasing ka daw kagabi sabi ni Brad! Halos hindi ka nga daw makatayo. Ayos ka na ba?" Evelyn asked in worry.

I'm going to strangle you, Brad! How dare you!

"I clearly am. What brings you here?" I bit my lip and looked at Evelyn.

"As you can see, Yelena's sister—"

"Hindi ko nakikita."

I nearly fainted when Yelena laughed. Ano 'yong sinabi ko? Oh, my God.

"My little sister wants to go shopping, you might want to come." Pagpapatuloy ni Yelena sa sinasabi ni Evelyn.

"Pwedeng pass? Masakit ang ulo ko at hindi pa ako nakaka-move on... sa ininom ko kagabi." I awkwardly laughed.

"Uminom pa kasi, hindi ka man lang nag-aya."

"Oh my, Karen. Your partner wouldn't want to see you in the bar drinking 'til dawn."

"Okay, one point for you. Hindi na lang kami pupunta. Boring ang shopping kapag hindi ka kasama. Re-schedule natin bukas, Yvette, okay? Ate Elli's not feeling well right now," litanya ni Karen.

"Huwag! Magbibihis ako saglit." Paalam ko at nagmamadaling umalis.

There's that butterflies in my stomach again. I hope this doesn't turn into trauma. Ayoko na umasa pero kung siya, sige. Payag ako. Last na.

I wore a simple high waist tight jeans and a crop top paired with heels. Tinuyo ko ang mahaba at natural na maalon kong buhok at kinuha ang purse na may lamang cards. I don't usually bring cash.

"Hindi ba masakit ang ulo mo?" tanong ni Yelena pagbaba ko.

Masakit, pero gusto kong umasa kaya go na ulit ako.

"Hindi masyado."

"Liar," bulong ni Evelyn.

"Are you sure you're okay, Ate Elli?" Yvette asked.

"Sweetie, this is nothing for a party animal like me. Come on, let's go." I winked.

We used Yelena's van and reached our destination. Yvette kept asking me if I was really okay or just pretending. Magiging maayos para makasama ang isa diyan na kanina pa tahimik. Nahahalata ko rin ang pasimpleng tingin nito sa 'kin. O baka naga-assume lang ako kasi assumera ako? Whatever.

"Where do you want to go first, Yvette? LV? Prada? Chanel? Saint Laurent? Gucci? Name it," I asked as we enter.

"Diyan diyan lang sa mga may botique, Elliana. Hindi namin afford ang mga designer clothes and bags as of the moment," sagot ni Yelena.

Napatakip ako ng bibig at napatawa. Yelena's cute sometimes.

"Libre ko," ngisi ko. "Biro lang. Huwag ka ma-strong, Yel," bawi ko agad.

Yelena hates it when I spend for them. For me, spending money for my friends is not a problem. Wala naman akong binubuhay. Wala ring problema kay Mama at Papa dahil sariling pera ko din naman 'to. This money came from my own sweat and blood.

Habang namimili ay nakaramdam ako ng kaunting pananakit ng ulo. I excused myself and went to the comfort room to rest for a bit. Naghilamos ako at kumuha ng candy sa purse ko. I was about to open the door when someone entered and to my shock, it was the love of my life. Kidding. It was Yvonne.

"You okay?" she gently asked.

"A-ayos lang," tumango ako.

I remained stoic and stood straight. Kahit naka-heels ako ay mas matangkad pa rin ito sa 'kin. I've met their parents before. May lahing matatangkad ang pamilya ni Yelena. Well, ka-level ko lang ng height si Yelena pero itong sumunod sa kaniya, ayoko na lang mag-talk.

Napaatras ako ng lumapit ito sa 'kin at lumuhod. She took my hand and put it on top of her head.

"Stay still," her voice roared in the comfort room.

Namula ang mukha ko nang tanggalin nito ang heels ko. She replaced it with white sneakers.

"You shouldn't wear heels, paano kung sumakit ang ulo mo at natumba ka?" dumaan ang inis sa mukha nito.

"Sanay naman na ako," maliit ang bose na sagot ko.

"Kahit na. Do you want to rest more? I'll wait for you," she rested her back on the wall and stared at me.

"Iyong heels ko..." namumulang puna ko.

Itinaas niya ang kamay niyang hawak ang dalawang heels ko. I nodded.

"Ako na magdadala. I can also carry you if you want," a sly smile appeared in her lips.

Mas uminit ang bawak sulok ng mukha ko. 'Yong puso ko, maawa ka. Hindi na nga makahinga sa dami ng paru-paro sa tiyan ko.

"Tara na, baka hinahanap na nila tayo."

I opened the comfort room's door and went out first. Yvonne followed and walked right next to me. Ang angas ng dating. Sinusubukan talaga ako ni Lord.

Napalingon ako saglit sa kaniya saka bumaba ang tingin sa kamay niya na hawak ang heels ko. Gusto ko siya makasama ng matagal pero hindi sa banyo, ano ba 'yan.

"Gutom ka ba?" imik niya.

"Ha?"

"Nagugutom ka?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi naman."

"Nagugutom ako. Samahan mo muna ako kumain," aya niya na ikinatuwa ng kalooban ko.

Kahit saan willing akong samahan ka, basta ikaw. Malakas ka sa 'kin eh. Sa sobrang lakas nakakasakit ka na rin minsan.

For months that I haven't seen nor heard of her, akala ko wala na. Akala ko pinaglalaruan lang ako ng nararamdaman ko. I thought it was a one time thing, or that it was just an infatuation. I was wrong. In this state, masasabi kong may impact pa rin sa 'kin ang taong 'to at hindi ako pinaglalaruan ng nararamdaman ko. Am I in love? Love or like? Like or crush? This is confusing. Pahingi naman ng sign kung ano ba talaga.

Funny how I promised to do everything for her to be crazy for me as I was to her eh wala nga akong ginawa kung hindi ang istorbohin siya noon araw-araw. She didn't give me too much attention but didn't ignore me either. Kahit pagod galing sa school niya o band practice ay wala siyang sinabi sa 'kin. Her patience is unreachable. Ayoko naman talaga sa babae. Pero kay Yvonne, hindi ako napilitan, kusa ko kasing naramdaman.

She was so freaking attractive. Still is, actually.
*****