☆☆☆ Chapter 58 ☆☆☆

Late Night Call

RIIIIING! RIIIIING! RIIIIING!

Loud. Constant. Annoying. Those are the best three words I can think of to describe what startled me awake.

My eyes opened to face nothing but darkness. Everything everywhere was pitch black. For all I know it was the middle of the night or just some short time after I fell asleep. Maybe nine, ten o'clock in the night? Who knows. It doesn't matter. The storm died off by then, no more rain or thunder. At times lazy drops would fall down from the corners of the roof, I heard them. But they didn't matter either. Only one thing did.

RIIIIING! RIIIIING! RIIIIING!

Daniel's mobile phone's screeching was sharp, it drilled its presence into my skull, from somewhere by his dresser. Though somewhat groggy, I managed to shake Daniel's shoulders enough for him to peek his head out of the blanket.

"Nightmare?" he yawned softly, reaching for me. "It's okay, you're not alone... come, come here."

His words tugged at my heart. He's too good. "No, not this time," I said, turning the lamp on. Too good, too good, that's right. "Wake up, it's your flashy brick thing. Go answer it."

Daniel face-palmed himself and groaned his way to the phone.

RIIIIING! RIIIIING! RIIIIIN—

"Hello?" Daniel was midway into rubbing his eyes when his eyebrows suddenly sprung to life. "Roger? What in the world... is this really you? It's really you!" As he let out a bubbly laugh I hadn't heard in days, I sat myself straight against the headboard and pulled down my sleeves. "Hey, hey, dude, I know you're busy with your summer finals and all, but can you do me a favor and give me a call every now and then? I was starting to think you were dead. And, uh, preferably not in the middle of the night?" Daniel laughed again and pulled the curtains to the side. Moonlight immediately breezed through the window's barrier. It bounced right off Daniel's skin and made it look like it was glowing.

"What? You're already finished with them?" Daniel's back faced me now. "Oh okay, good! Almost there, then. You can do it! ...Oh! Hey, hey, I'll bring three bottles over when you're finished. I'll even sneak one of the estate-bottled── er, haha I know, I know, Father's here, but so long as he doesn't notice it doesn't matter── so how does that sound? Mhmm, I had the cellar restocked last week. Father── oh, haha, yeah, do whatever you want with them. Knock yourself out. Just let me know when and we'll make it a party, why not? Invite your friends over. Yeah, come on man, it'll be fun. ...Hmm? Fine, fine. Have it your way, then. Just the two of us." Silence. "What? Need a little beating? Haha, sure sure. I got you amigo. Battleship it is." Another brief silence. "Hmm?"

When I saw Daniel press his hand against the window, I realized just how normal this conversation was. Actually, it was so normal it almost went right past my ears. So why did it have to happen so late? Why did it have to wake us up? Why did it matter, and how long was it gonna last?

"Wait, hold on, slow down. What do you mean it's time? Time for what?"

Then my boyfriend jerked back in my direction, with a jaw so stretched it threatened to fall off.

"Study abroa... n-now?" He slapped a hand on his forehead and scoffed. "Where to now? Italy? Portugal? Brazil? Where in the world haven't you gone!?" By the end of it Daniel's voice raised so much that my heart started to race. What exactly's going on here?

"Bullshit! A whole load of it! 'Abroad' my ass, I'm not stupid! That's what you said last time. Every time! Weren't you done? Wasn't the last time enough? Aren't you free?"

"For... for her? Are you out of your fucking mind? Why? Why! Do you know what this means? No, no I don't think you do." The silence between their 'chat' felt all the more louder now. "No! That hellhole sucked everything out of you── no, whether you're going there for yourself or not doesn't matter, you're not listening, you're not listening to me! Listen, listen to me! Do you have any idea how long it took for you to pick yourself up from the ground── some time?! Some time, he says. Some! I can't believe this. Do you not remember all those days, months, years of── ugh! Do you not remember at all?" Silence. "Those sick bastards will tear you apart all over again and it's not like you're even a part of it anymore. Why are you doing this to yourself?" Silence. "Tsk! All for her! All for that... that bitch── no, too kind, that slimy piece of shit who started it all? You're insane, insane!"

Did he just... ?

"You're doing this because she'll be shipped off soon, aren't you?"

"Oh my gods you're fucking insane, she's not worth it. She's nothing! You must have forgotten or something. Do you seriously not remember how she ruined your whole fucking life? ...No, no. Screw your garden. I'm not taking care of it, you are, because you're staying. I'm not having it. You're staying, you're not going anywhere, that's it! ...No. NO! Why do you have to be like this? Are you out of your mind? Do you want to die? Do you need to be strapped down again? No, don't tell me that!"

Every second that passed made it harder for me to tell apart anything he was saying and I wasn't sure if it was because of all my nerves going nuts or if his voice was turning into something inhuman altogether.

"Roger for all of the gods' sake if you leave I swear I'll── I can't── gods, all for her! Why? Why! When the hell do you plan on graduating? When will you stop doing this to yourself? She doesn't matter! She's the only wretch here. No, don't, don't you dare compare yourself to her she's nothing like you, do you hear me? Nothing!"

I thought I wouldn't see blood and tears come out of him anymore. I thought he'd run out of them with me. But there he was, wiping them away from his tired, swollen emeralds only to have them be replaced over and over again. I tried going over to him for a hug but he shoved me right back down to the bed. It was only then that I noticed how much he was trembling, a heck of a lot more than me, and veins were basically popping out of his temples.

He wasn't deathly pale, but something told me his body would shut down if he kept freaking out.

"They're sending her off. Elsewhere. For our own good. You don't need to do this. You shouldn't do this. She's better off in a ward. ...Come on man, who cares if she'll be chased down. She's had it coming. Please. Please, I'm begging you. Please don't. Don't leave again. Not again, please Roger── Isssra── amig── b-bud, buddy, please... don't go. Every time, every single time I'm not sure if you'll be back. ...Whether it's for yourself or not doesn't matter, I just don't want you to go. That's all. That's all, okay? Please."

There was a long silence after that, one where Daniel clawed at his collar and broke apart. This time when I rushed to him he had no energy to fight me back. Or maybe he just didn't notice me.

"Why couldn't you tell me in person? Why... why like this?" he hiccupped. "W-what about your finals? Your job? Your mother? Your garden? ...Why are you leaving me? Without you I── "

I tried to catch him when he fell to his knees but he went down too fast. Surprisingly, he didn't shut down completely. As soon as he physically could, he scrambled around for the phone and brought it back up to his ear. "Promise me you'll call every night. Promise me. I need to know you're alive. No, no, I don't care if it's a three-second call, just do it. Every time you did this and you didn't call for weeks I... I thought you were... I'm not fucking having it! Promise me. Promise me! I don't care if it's for three goddamn seconds, I already told you."

"No, I'm not doing it myself, I'm not stupid. Did you think I would forget how you never answered for three weeks straight? Never! All that anxiety and fear I── no, it's justified, it's justified! When you finally answered you were on a fucking bridge, I barely talked you out of it── no, no you don't understand! It's not different. You still don't value yourself, you still don't understand just how precious your life is, h-how important you are, how much you mean to── "

I found myself clutching onto the hardness that hung loose around my neck. It was cool to the touch, smooth. Smoother than Daniel's warm back. Easier to rub right now.

It marked its name on my sweaty palm.

" ──I fucking care! I care so fucking much it's maddening, so promise me! Promise me you'll call. Please, please, I'll... I'll take care of your stupid garden. Every day. All day. Please, please... "

"No, wait! Please! Promise me, promise me before you go! Promise── Roger? ...Hello?"

And just like that their call ended, leaving behind a broken, panicked little man that, despite all the threats of my insecurities, despite all of my top-tier bullshit, despite it all, I thought deep down for sure was and forever would be, mine and mine only.