☆☆☆ Chapter 36 ☆☆☆

The Big Bad Problems

Hilery let out an excited sigh that matched the kid's face when his eyes landed on her, the same face he'd done a few days back when Hilery's head popped out of the water. Déjà vu, almost.

The kid reached out for her with his hands. "Mommy!"

It was loud enough for me to hear.

"Felix, sweetie! Hello!" Hilery squealed, quickly bending down to kiss the kid's cheek as he hugged her head. One of her hands brushed down Joel's free arm 'til it reached his hand. She then squeezed it lightly, and intertwined their fingers together. The teen third-wheeling the family reunion cooed a couple of words, with a toothy smile on her rosy face. Had she no clue 'bout how terrible the situation was, of how it can't possibly be something normal in anyone's eyes?

Nikki. Nikki, that's her name. She must not be anyone, like Hilery. Like Joel.

The soft music continued to play in the hallway from the speakers installed on the walls, continuing to liven up the place as if nothing wrong was happening. As if it's a normal, casual thing for one of the most nauseating acts of society to take place in its hallway.

I stood there for what seemed to be an eternity not knowing how to react 'til I found some courage within me to blink and calm down my breathing. What my eyes were watching was wrong, immoral. Unbelievable, inconceivable, and yet it was right there, existing. Is... is this one of the things Daniel was talkin' 'bout when he warned me of his family?

If it is, and even if it isn't, I didn't want to watch anymore. I couldn't stand it.

Still a little dazed from it all, I stepped back, getting ready to rush my way out of there, but as I turned the other way, I bumped into Steve, the pushy guy from the bar. He looked straight ahead, and out of pure instinct I followed his eyes, gulping mid-way. I wish I hadn't though, 'cuz then I wouldn't have seen Joel make a hand signal to Steve that obviously meant to get rid of me: with a stern expression on his face, Joel lightly slashed his neck with his thumb.

When Steve and I made unintentional eye contact, he let out a dry laugh while cracking his knuckles. "Oh man, I really did like ya, but you just had to do somethin' funny with Boss' family. I did warn you, too. It's just too bad, really. Nobody can save you now, sugar."

There was no such thing as the big bad ghost. Instead, there was something far more terrifying than a mere ghost── a secret. A big, bad secret.

☆☆☆

Like a fast little mouse, I did my very best to escape from his hold but it did nothing in the end. Steve caught my tail with his paws and scooped me right off the ground, holding me so tight that I couldn't even let out a single peep or breathe right. He carried me effortlessly, as if I were a random piece of clothing (like a sweater or somethin'), and cared little 'bout how exposed I felt. Maybe he enjoyed every second of it.

On his way to wherever he was taking me, I prayed for some miracle to happen, for anything that could possibly save me from the doom that my own brother-in-law had judged upon me, but as of yet nothing seemed to be working in my favor today. Is giving up the best option?

*Daniel's Point of View (POV)*

Ah, there she goes, right into the lion's den.

I saw it coming since the second day, I am not going to lie about that, but why couldn't she at least try to hide when the time actually came for her to follow? Anyone could tell she was following them and it was seriously disappointing. I might have to give her a few tips on those types of things if she's ever planning to do something similar again, but right now all I could do is cringe from a distance. Gods, in the very least I am glad the lion is someone related to me; he will notice her fairly quickly simply because she would be out in the open, but he won't do anything to her. Nada.

Actually, nevermind, he might just do something── he's too rough around the edges to let her go unscathed, but generally he'll be all bark and no bite. It's still not enough to keep me calm, though. I don't want him to do anything to her, not a single threat or shooting of a blank, not a poke with a knife. She's already been through enough, but he might not understand that when annoyed, as he's bound to be when Ane catches him red-handed several moments from now.

What an interesting family I have indeed.

"So, let me guess, Dan," Roger interrupted me, knowingly sipping his mojito in the one and only way that irked me on the inside. "You called me today at six o'clock in the morning, waking me up from a very good dream, to get my ass over here for whatever bull Ane's pulling out of her own, to then indirectly reveal my shady background to her by doing something that requires a certain set of skills, which, I can't stress this enough, is a ridiculously wild idea for a situation that could perhaps be handled differently."

"Sorry," I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder, passively wishing I could do more. "You're not wrong. And I can't do it myself. Who knows what could happen. It's Joel."

"All in the name of love. Helpless, you are," Roger grumbled. "She better be good at keeping secrets, she better not ask too many questions. I'm trusting you in this." He put down his glass and gnawed on a side of his lower lip, in thought. They were full and fresh, tempting. "What are you── her vigilant, weirdo knight in shining armor?"

I shrugged. "That doesn't sound too bad. It's kind of what I want to be, anyway."

He snorted as soon as I said it. "Of course, Dan, and I'm your loyal horse." I heard the ice in his mojito clank the glass. "Neigh! Neigh!"

"Oh shut up, you!" I chortled, jabbing his arm with my head.

"Hey don't turn into an Ane on me, coming at me like that!"

"She's my girlfriend, she rubs off on me," I responded, looking right back at him with a goofy grin. "What can you expect, amigo?"

He gave no reply. Instead, with his gaze completely fixed on me, he paused for a minute or two. Every second felt like an eternity, and for every second that passed, more blood rushed up my face. By the time he came back into orbit, I was a flushed fool.

"I swear you're too fucking cute, you're driving me crazy," he grumbled, tossing the straw from his glass aside and downing the rest of his mojito in one go. "Hurry up and get married already. I don't care anymore about the timing or whatever, just tie that damn knot── and make sure it's tight, before I find myself doing something against all I've stood for after reaping, something you're not willing to risk us for, something we'll both regret after it's done."

He gave me no chance to reply; he turned his attention to the bar, though I knew that had he given me the chance, I had nothing to say. There was plenty to show, however, as a flushed fool.

He asked the bartender for a refill, leaning in to me ever so slightly. His scent was pleasant, warm.

☆☆☆

After some time passed, my phone rang. It was my brother, urging me to pick up my "psycho stalker girl," fully knowing I was in The Poconos Getaway, just as I knew he was, too. He warned me to hurry before he decided on a whim to snap her neck in two or break a leg, but that was just him messing around, mostly; he admitted to me quite openly that he instructed his people to give her a good scare, and "a good scare" could mean a ton of things for little Mr. Boss. There are limits to what he could do to her, though── we both knew he couldn't truly mess with individuals close to the family, as it would only lead to trouble for obvious reasons. Ironically enough, it didn't keep him from messing with people in the family, haha... gross. That was a little too much of dark humor there, it hit too close to home... ah shoot, there I went with an unintentional pun. I ended the call right away, grinding my teeth. Tell me, brain, how can I get the image of Hilery and Joel doing things out of my mind before I gag?

Roger blinked. Perfect. "Now's the time, isn't it?"

"Yup." I playfully winked an eye at him, resting a hand on my hip. "It's your moment to shine, baby boy."

He chuckled, shaking his head and shoving me away from him. "You're wildin' now, amigo. Let's tone that excitement down, alright? It's not gonna rub off on me." The glow in his eyes said otherwise, and soon enough he couldn't restrain himself from goofing around. "Baby boy? Ha!" Roger started, swirling his drink around, clearly amused. "Ha! As if you're older than me." A smug little smile quickly formed on my face after hearing that. Technically he's right, but there's always room for jokes on that── he was the one that still played with toys at the age of fifteen, after all, and to this day he eyes toy stores no matter how much he denies it. Roger took the bait and followed through it with his own handsome smirk. "I'll show you I'm no baby boy, just get me a room here and I'll make it happen so goddamn quick it's not even funny── actually, no, I take that back. I'll keep you up all night long, pretty boy, 'til you start calling me daddy."

He's such a perfect tease, especially in moments like these. I can't help but love it.

"Ugh, oh shut up, you!" I punched his arm, playing along, feeling nothing but pure muscle and protein. Lovely. Definitely not a pain to my knuckles.

Roger slapped the back of my neck, giggling to himself like a child after seeing me wince. "Let's not act like Ane again."

"Ouch, ouch, fine!"

He knew exactly what to say, what to do, and when to make it all happen── naturally, without having to ask what was going on in my mind, and even if he did, things just felt better with him around. Strangely enough, he's expressed to me more than once that it's a mutual feeling. Indeed, we are the most intimate friends of the soul... no, far beyond that. We're something I can't bring to words, but nevertheless we're something so meaningful that Ane herself may never understand.

As his dear friend, as his other half, as something I can't bring to words, I hope to be his best man and pat him on the back with pride, to embarrass him with a passionate speech that both exposes and compliments him, just as he will do to me someday, but I know it might not come for Roger. He's living a life oozing with regret, agony, and hope, keeping himself right on the edge of living the life he wants, but never allowing himself to dive into it; a life that won't allow him to live out his life to the fullest or achieve the ambitiously humble and honest goals he had set for himself. A romantic companion for him is therefore a far-fetched dream if not a fantasy, aside from countless other things people take for granted. It is penance at its best, working hand in hand with repentance. It's his solution to everything he's done against humanity, but it's soul-crushing in its own way.

If I had the opportunity to give him a better life without even the slightest chance of ruining the connection we had, I would have done whatever the world wanted me to do in a heartbeat, with my eyes closed.

Such an opportunity, however, will never exist; there is always a risk present in all chances given, and I am far more than unwilling to gamble with them── never will I want to risk losing him, no matter what. I know that it is extremely selfish and cowardly of me, but it is what it is. Roger himself knows of these feelings, and strangely enough, he understands. Unfortunately, he believes they're a concrete part of his soul-crushing solution, too, and there's nothing I can do about it as the one afraid of losing him; as the cowardly and selfish man I admit to being.

I still wish life had turned out differently for him, though.

I still wish for him to have never been forced down the pit my sister dug out for herself, for him to follow his awe-inspiring ambitions, for him to be freed from his own miserable chains. Things would have been different for him, full of bliss and fair challenges, if it were not for what he was forced to become.

It does not mean I would have gambled with any given opportunities under those circumstances. The stakes would have remained the same for me, and that will never change unless what we have ceases to exist, and that is never happening. I cherish it far too much, and he understands, which brings us right back to where we started, closing up a whole circle drawn from my feelings. Lovely, isn't it?

It does not compare, however, not in the slightest, with what he's going through.

It's not right, not fair how well life has treated me for the past few years, particularly this one with Ane and all, when his own has only gotten worse.

When will life have mercy upon him, if ever at all?

*Ane's Point of View (POV)*

Just as I was carried, I was thrown onto the ground; like a dirty old sweater being tossed to the nasty laundry pile.

"Welcome to my sex dungeon," Steve joked dryly. My entire body stiffened. "Now don't you worry, I'm a gentleman. I know what no means, sugar." He scratched his back, closing the door and locking it after he finished doing so. "Fuck! I tore some skin off! Uh... fuck, ouch, what I meant is, this is where you die── uh, not figuratively, but literally. But damn I'm super bummed── fuckwhydidIscratchitagain── I really liked you. Don't you worry though, I'll never forget you."

"W-Why should I die from sneaking a peek at them? This isn't fair! This shouldn't be how things go!"

Out of nowhere, a different voice responded. "We are loyal to Boss, above anything else, and Miss Hilery── "

"Blondie," Steve coughed, interrupting the voice.

" ──Miss Hilery. We follow and listen to their every order, no questions asked. That is all there is to it." From the bathroom, out walked the person whose voice it belonged to: a stern, robotic teen with jet-black pigtails. Her skin was a decent blend of gold and brown, similar to Teresa's.

"B-But you're a brat, why should I let myself die by the hands of a brat? I'll die in shame!"

Steve jumped right into the fire. "I can always be the one to kill her, Demy, 'cos like, you know, I brought her here. Boss said it to me, and this is my room── "

The robot-teen ignored him. "I'm not a brat, I'm sixteen."

"Look just get me out of here, brat!"

"What the── I'm not a brat! I'm sixtee── " She breathed in hard, closing her eyes. "Are you dumb?"

"Nope, I'm special, one of a kind. The best humans have to offer." So, no longer goddess-level?

"Ugh! Enough already!" She cried, clenching her fists. I rolled my eyes, doing my best to keep my fear in check. If I can annoy the so-called Demy into some dumb fight, maybe I could get away with living. I could always sweet talk Steve, too. He seemed like a straight-up open book from the start. Maybe I can find a way to get away with living by asking him a question or two? It's not like they seem to have anything in their hands, either, so how were they planning to off me, anyway?

Demy stomped her way to a drawer and pulled out a pistol.

Shit, I just had to ask!

"Steve what the hell, why is it loaded already? You should know better, you've been in this shit longer than me!" She sighed after Steve failed to give her a response. He looked as if he wanted to laugh, but was holding it back. "Where's the silencer?"

Steve rolled his eyes, searching his pockets. "You're not playing fair, Demy." When he found whatever it was that Demy requested, he tossed it to her, midway into a creepy chuckle. "I wanted to do it!"

When Demy set it up with the pistol, my heart wanted to leap out of my breastbone and never come back. This is it. I am no longer able to stop it. I'm gonna die, and I didn't even get to see Daniel one last time. I'm not ready, but that's not how the world works. I should know better from experience.

I'll be joining Uncle Jesse, Molly, and even meet Uncle Jesse's wife for the first time. I'll curse Jade for the rest of her life, throwing her into all sorts of hells that life could possibly throw at her. I'll once again taste my grandma's shuku shuku, the best coconut balls someone could ever help themselves to. I'll watch my sister suffer more from above, hoping for her to recover someday from all of the pain and move on. I'll get to find out what happened to him; if that person's out drinking lemonade in Australia not giving a single damn 'bout where I am or what happened to me, or if they met some form of justice that Daniel doesn't have to push for.

Oh no. Daniel.

He's clearly too into me, enough to make me worry that he may decide to join me in the afterlife before his time. I die here, and so will his heart. He may really do it. He might just end his story. I won't be able to bear it. It would be my fault.

God, please don't let that happen. Don't let him waste his life like that, please. I know he's too valuable for this world and deserves to be an angel 'cuz he's just that pure, but not so soon. Please let him live a full life, I'll meet him later if he's never able to find someone to love like me again. Just don't let him end it so soon. That is my one and only wish── please, just make it happen. I swear to you it's all I want from you right now, I'm not begging you for my own life, this is about Daniel, not me. Don't let him join me.

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes shut just as they were, maybe even harder than before, and waited for the pistol to do its job.

☆☆☆

I waited, and waited, and waited. But then I dared to open one of my eyes when it took far too long for my death to happen. The pistol had one job, and so did Demy, and she did it── 'xcept she didn't. She wasn't even there, and neither was Steve. Where did they go?

I gotta admit that I did hear some shuffling as I prepared myself to die, but I wasn't expecting their absence. The sound of it all was so low that I thought they were only prepping some more and that was it, but not enough for them to disappear goddammit!

Out of the bathroom, with not even the slightest bit of sound── like a ghost passing through, came out Roger, spooking the crap out of me. He was wearing black, generally skin-tight clothing defining every single muscle in his body, and lightweight footwraps that passed as socks with flying colors if it were not for the slight bit of hard material on their bottoms. He wasn't wearing a mask, but everything else on him screamed to me that a mask was the most vital part of it all. I didn't even have to ask why he was there, and I couldn't tell if I was shocked. Maybe I was, but everything that had happened within that single hour jammed itself into my head a little too much, a little too little. My head felt strange, my heart felt strange.

"I've been told I look like a male ballerina with this on, for some reason." No, no he didn't. No ballerina wears that.

I built up some words, and forced them out of myself. "Did you... did you... ?"

"No, they're in the tub, taking a nap. Go check it out yourself, they're alive."

"No, I, I'm fine." It felt like I was once again in a daze. I was ready to die, going to die, and then in the blink of an eye the possibility of it all just poofed out of existence. Is it even right to take away someone's will to die like that── and how was it possible? Wasn't Roger just some regular guy, just my boyfriend's friend and nothing more? But that's somewhere 'round the lines of what I thought of Hilery and Joel before I was hit with all of this. They're not regular, normal, everyday people. Can I no longer trust anyone? Was Jade the only person whose nature and intentions I knew from the start? Roger still saved me, though. Does it mean he's a good person? "Thank you... Roger."

"You shouldn't be thanking me, it should be Daniel. He sent me here, to help you." What else does Daniel know of that I'm gonna have to face in some way or another? Is this even half of it? "If you're good to go, let's go."

"Okay," I mumbled, standing up from the spot I was thrown to before, following the human shadow from behind.

☆☆☆

Now in regular civilian clothing, the shadow continued to walk ahead of me.

Occasionally its head turned to me, to make sure I was right behind it. The shadow watched me closely during those times, but didn't speak a single word. That was good, though, because I had nothing to say and I lacked the energy for that anyway. Everything within me felt heavy, murky... empty, strange.

For a good fifteen minutes, we walked in silence.

Once we walked out of The Poconos Getaway though, the human shadow stopped its tracks, completely facing me. "I'm gonna take you back to Daniel's place," it said, searching for something in my eyes, but more than likely it found nothing. I nodded, hoping that that would make it turn away from me again, but instead it made the shadow sigh.

"What?" I pushed myself to ask.

"Ane, you're Daniel's one and only pursued love, so I'll give a roundabout answer to your suspicions: I may or may not be who you think I am, but trust me when I say I'm a person with good and honest intentions right now and forever after." His eyes were deep, old, and torn, but also... lively, and thriving. "Everything I do right now relates to helping others. I only use certain skills in their most minimal forms possible, if I have no other alternatives. I'm genuinely close to Daniel, we grew up together and keep each other's sanity in check, if... if not more. He's a person I cherish and never want to lose, right beside my own mother. I will never hurt him or anyone close to him, including you Ane. It's a given. No matter what, for the better or worse. You don't have to trust me on anything else, just trust me on those few things, and you'll never need to wonder where my thoughts lie."

"Is that all?"

Roger nodded, clenching his fists lightly. "Yes, that is all."

"Okay, I, I'll try."

He's not Jade. He's not Hilery. No, he's not Joel. He's... he's a good person. He's good, right? He should be. Daniel trusts him, so I should trust him. If I trust him, though, does it mean I'm ignoring anyone that he may or may not have hurt? Who exactly is he, who's Roger? Why was he able to get rid of those two so quickly, so effortlessly? Why the heck did he look like a creature of the night, a shadow, a living, breathing horror, one who lived for nothing but madness? Is he friends with Jade? Did they work together, as fellow── no, stop it Ane, you have to trust him. Trust his intentions, his good and honest intentions, Ane. Daniel trusts him, so you should trust him. Daniel knows everything but you don't. Please, don't make it harder for yourself, Ane. Just... just let it go this one time, please.

Trust him. Trust Roger. Trust the human shadow.

☆☆☆

When we entered the hotel's parking lot, I spotted a small blond guy resting against Roger's car, from a distance. I didn't need to be close to know it was him, my Daniel, my knight in shining armor. I heard and felt my heart pump away all of my bad thoughts. With every beat there was a brighter joy, a greater reason to make my day complete. There he was, my knight in shining armor, my Daniel.

I ran over to him as fast as my legs and melons allowed me to, never daring to stop and look back at all of the problems behind me, swiftly wrapping my arms around him once I was within his reach. I let all of my tears out, right there where I knew I belonged; in his hold, in his arms, in his oceans of love, in everything that is Daniel. There were so many emotions I couldn't describe that made my heart want to leap, swell, shrivel up, squeal, faint── all at the same time, but it didn't matter, because Daniel was right there with me. He was all that mattered. Daniel's my anchor, my joy, my angel, my boyfriend, my pervert, my heart's desire, my fake husband, my creep, my flame, my everything and anything. He is, more than anything else, the man I thought of right before I almost lost my life, wishing only the best for him; the man I selflessly love and care for.

My sister was right── I am changing, for the better.